Title: Solutions In The Snow
Rating: FRT
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Just the idea.
Spoilers: 3.18 – Sleigh of Hand, 4.11 – Child's Play…quite possibly others…
Summary: "…he hadn't won her back yet." Danny makes a terrible mistake that could cost him more than he's willing to give up. SPOILERS FOR 4.11 CHILD'S PLAY …don't read, if don't want to know…
SPOILERS FOR 4.11 CHILD'S PLAY
I don't know all the released details about the episode, but we know that Danny gets close to a victims mother, and quite possibly does something bad.
This is my take.
The December wind blew as the door to the roof of the New York Crime Lab swung open. The moon shone bright as light snowflakes fell, occasionally catching the gleam of silver rays, then disappearing into a sea of black night. A thin layer of snow blanketed the skyscraper roof, and a pair of size 8 shoeprints led the path he had long decided to take.
At the end of the path, was where she stood, arms crossed, back to him. A gust of wind blew wisps of hair about her head, and he watched as a shudder breathed against her skin. He saw her hands move up and down her thinly clothed arms, in an effort to warm herself, and for a brief moment he wished he could be the hands that comforted her, before remembering that he had no right to touch her.
She had said so.
Actually, she was quite adamant. He wasn't to touch her, to talk to her, to even look at her.
And he supposed she had every right to say so.
To say she was a bit perturbed would have been an understatement.
She was downright miffed, and he was sure that if she could get away with murder without getting fired (like that would have been the least of her problems), then he would be lying on a cold metal slab with once his biggest supporter in his relationship with Lindsay, Sid Hammerback, playing (and cackling, he guessed) with his innards.
Danny cringed at the thought. He had made a mistake. Ok, he had fouled up royally.
He hadn't meant to, and it's not like he would intentionally do anything to jeopardize something that had taken two years to come to fruition. My God, if he could take back everything that had happened with the Ruben Sandoval case, he would in a heartbeat; the dead boy, the mistake with his mother, the heartbreak on Lindsay's face.
He would take it all back, if not for the boy and his mother, than for himself and Lindsay.
Nikki Sandoval had been an occasional acquaintance, but the boy was where a deep bond formed. Danny had taken it upon himself to be a friend to the boy, and a guardian when his mother or babysitter wasn't available. That boy was something special.
But now he was dead.
And his mother was grieving.
What was Danny to do?!
Nikki had come looking for comfort in the only man that had last seen her son alive, the only man that was in her life at the moment. Danny had offered a shoulder to cry on, with every intention that that was it. Somewhere between the tears and hysterical sobs, the wires got crossed, and signals got blurred, and a set of foreign lips were on his.
In a moment of weakness, he relished in the brief feeling of amnesia, before visions of honey eyes, and whiskey hair settled in the pit of his stomach.
He had felt like he was going to be sick.
Jumping back about ten feet, Danny had let out a string of words that would have made a sailor blush, and buried his face in his hands. After mumbling incoherently into his hands, he had told the bewildered mother that he was sorry, with something to the effect of 'I can't', and 'two years' and 'Lindsay'. Nikki seemed to understand, and asked if that was the woman she had seen in the lobby on a few occasions. Danny remembered bowing his head, smiling, then cursing a blue streak, before apologizing about sending the wrong message, and made a hasty retreat.
On his way to Lindsay's he mulled his decisions over. How could he have been so careless? How could he have done something so wrong, when things were going so right with Lindsay? How could he ever forgive himself if Linds were to break up with me, of which he was sure there was little doubt of?
The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to through up. With any luck, he'd get into a car accident and spare Lindsay the anguish of knowing her boyfriend just kissed (well, technically, Nikki had done the kissing, and he just happened to be the other party, but it was still lip to lip action) another woman. Alas, that was not to be.
He had arrived in one piece (if not a little terrified) at the familiar destination, to find Linds wrapped in a blanket, with a rather cold expression on her face, as if another reminder as to when he screwed up and blew her off. She glared at him, while demanding a 'What do you want?', and like verbal diarrhea, it all come out. He told her everything, from the bond with the little boy, to the breakdown with his mother, and finally the kiss, though for his credit, he did say he pulled away.
And just like his mother, she already knew everything. The kiss, not so much, but judging by his reaction to the case, she knew he had a connection somewhere and it was only a matter of time before it came up. And just like his mother again, she scolded him. She didn't yell (which Danny would have preferred), but she was hurt, and he could tell, close to tears. Just seconds before he was about to hit his knees and prey for forgiveness, she told him to leave, saying that she needed time, and that he would eventually, (not tonight or tomorrow) be forgiven.
Four days later, she still hadn't. She still didn't talk to him, unless it was strictly about the case, she still didn't look at him (which he was thankful for 'cause he was sure tears would still echo in her eyes), and she refused to be in the same building as him, choosing to take lab work, while he was on the field.
By five days without her, he was loosing it. Seeing her and not being able to talk to her, touch her, or kiss her was bringing him almost to the point of suicide (okay, not really, but it sure felt like it.)
Day seven came around and he had had enough…though Lindsay apparently had other ideas, and continued believing he wasn't there. But was it just his imagination, or did she glance at him when her shift was up, heading toward the roof?
And that was where he was now, standing in the doorway, watching snow fall around her, completely ignorant of the bellow zero temperatures. She hadn't moved in the 10 minutes he'd been watching her, neither had he for that matter, and the only indication that they were in fact alive, was the white fog of their breath.
Danny clenched his fists in an effort to control his fingers' itch to touch her when snowflakes fell down the nape of her neck, melting as they came in contract with the warm skin, and snuck their way down the shirt where his hands would, should have been.
Jealousy brewed to his very core…though quickly replaced by another feeling of guilt. It was now, or he feared, never.
He made his move.
Being careful not to disturb her footprints in the snow (he wasn't sure why he did this), he made his way, until her back was against his chest, giving her the opportunity to push him away or move if need be.
She didn't.
His hands sprung to life, like a desert marooned man to water, and tentatively re-acquainted themselves with the familiar curve of her hips, just gently enough if she wished to move away.
She didn't this time either.
His fingers burned against the skin as they snuck underneath her shirt to circle her bellybutton. She should have jumped with his hands being as cold as they were.
She didn't, but he guessed she was expecting this. She knew he loved to touch her.
They spent some time like that; Lindsay; motionless, and apparently unresponsive, Danny; basking in the long denied feel of her against him, though quite anxious with her disinterest in him.
Feeling it was time for part two of his making amends, before he resorted to groveling, he continued his path.
His gradually warming hands still trekking around her waist and abdomen, he nuzzled behind her ear with his nose, a familiar floral bouquet wrecking havoc on him senses, warm breath against her neck.
"I'm sorry." He gently deadpanned into the ear at his lips before nipping at the lobe. He was ecstatic when she lolled her head to the side, allowing him to continue, but as much as he wanted to spend all his time buried in her neck, he knew he hadn't won her back yet.
"I made a mistake," kissing behind her ear. "I shouldn't have gotten so involved. I shouldn't have pushed you away, and did what I did," placing what he hoped were 'forgive me' kisses on her jawbone. He almost leapt for joy when her arms uncrossed and her hands laced with his underneath her shirt, but man, her hands were cold!
"I didn't know what to do." He stated, addressing his first error when he pushed her away. "I couldn't talk to anyone. You know me, I don't open up. I can't come looking for comfort, so I don't say anything." pulling the lobe between his teeth again, getting a breathy sigh in return. "For that, I'm sorry."
She still didn't say anything, but he gave her no choice to. He needed to get this done.
"And about the other thing…" (He really didn't like saying it) "You have to believe me, I didn't mean to. I didn't go there thinking to myself 'Hey, lets screw up the best thing I've ever had'. It just happened. And I know it's no excuse, but she… kissed me, I pulled away." Lindsay still didn't respond, but she didn't unclasp their hands either. Danny bent down a little, resting his chin on her shoulder, "Are you gonna say something, or do I have to dig myself a bigger hole?"
Lindsay's lack of response was getting the better on him. She hadn't said a word to him for seven days, and now with her in his arms, still nothing. He was getting antsy, and would soon break if she didn't acknowledge his existence.
"Please, baby," he implored, "I need you say something; anything. Yell at me if you have to, just please, say something!"
Hope died at his lips when she didn't even blink.
She would hate him forever.
Just when he was going to pull away and think of Plan B, she surprised him by unclasping their hands, and turning around in his arms to copy his earlier movements with two very cold hands up his shirt. Danny swore, but was thankful for what he would classify as affection.
If the touch surprised him, then what she would say had him gobsmacked.
"You're right." Danny raised an eyebrow. "You know you shouldn't have gotten involved, but you're very passionate about your work. That was one thing that attracted me to you in the first place..."
Danny just starred at her.
Was he forgiven?
"But if you even think of another woman again…" he interrupted before she was finished.
"And spend seven long, very long, oh so long days without you? I doubt it."
For the first time in a week, both smiled, as Linday nuzzled into this chest, Danny's arms firmly around her. He wasn't letting her go, ever, though he needed to be sure.
"Does this mean you don't hate me?"
Lindsay's muffled reply gave all the reassurance he needed. "I could never hate you. Loathe you at times, with a small portion of despise, but never hate." Danny rocked her back and forth, snow still accumulating around them. Her words were music to his ears. Seven days was much too long.
He kissed the top of her head. "I missed you."
"Me too." She said sliding her hands, still nestled underneath his shirt, around and up his back.
"Jesus! How long have you been up here?" shivering at the missing heat her hands had taken from him.
Lindsay chuckled, and nuzzled further into his chest. "Half an hour, forty-five minutes. Don't know."
"Come on." Danny disentangled them, and pulled her by the hand towards the door to the building. "It's freezing out here." But just as she had done in a Montana court, she pulled him by the hand, right back to her.
But this time, they made the mark, and soft, perfect lips met his. Danny almost cried. It had been a long 171 hours, (but who was counting?), since he had felt such bliss, and it was almost too much. The tenderness in her lips through him off slightly, as the last time they had been together they argued and he thought she should been desperate by now, but none of it was unwelcome. He actually thought it was the tenderest kiss they'd ever shared…and there were a lot to compare to.
Nipping his lower lip briefly, she pulled back, hands still clasped together.
"So, whose was better?" Lindsay asked him smugly, to which she earned a raised eyebrow. "Come on, you already admitted to kissing her, and as the girlfriend, I deserve to know."
"No, as the girlfriend, you don't have to ask. You already know."
Lindsay smirked. "But a girl likes to hear it anyway."
Danny looked at her sincerely, "I would give up a lifetime of kisses, just to have one kiss with you," to which he punctuated with a kiss on the forehead. "Happy now?"
"Mm hmm… very." Lindsay said, slipping her hand around his waist and into his left butt pocket, as they turned and headed for the door, Danny's arm around her shoulder.
"Me too."
Author's Note: So? My first D/L fic in a LONG time. FYI, '171 hours' is just over 7 days, give or take.