{After it All}
The end ruined me, so this is quite an emotional piece of writing. Only finished the game a few hours ago, so the hurt is still fresh.
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The breath in his tight throat left in a rush at the sight of her. He was relieved beyond words, that she had returned. But then she stumbled, and his heart stuttered violently in his chest.
Rainier, a man he had only just come to forgive, who had always been a close friend to the inquisitor grabbed for her. Cullen watched, frozen in his place, as the Warden picked her up into his armoured arms.
There was something terribly wrong. He could feel it, it penetrated his being and made it hard to see clearly.
Dorian reached for her arm, a tanned hand wavered over her armoured gauntlet. His face was sharp, taunt as he said something quickly to the others. Varric looked pale, and Cullen wondered at what had occurred for the Dwarf to be shell shocked.
Then he noticed it. Her arm. It was...by the maker, it was gone.
Pure terror, mixed with the potent spike of adrenaline surged his body into action.
"What happened?" His demand came out loud to his ears, yet it did not sound like his voice at all.
"We're not sure," Dorian touched his shoulder, a gesture which was meant to support. Cullen did not feel it as he looked down at her.
His love, his life and as of only a few days - his wife. He could barely contain the wave of emotions which threatened to swallow him whole.
Though the situation was dire, he had been unable to stop thinking of her in her wedding dress. The lull of her Elven words of promise as they washed over him, stunning him to the core.
"She went through one of the mirrors," Varric said, roughly. "It..it just shattered behind her. We couldn't get through..."
"When she returned, from another of those bloody things, she said only one word : Solas," Rainier ground out darkly.
He nodded, his actions stiff as the world slowed around him. His breaths came in short intakes. "Give her to me," he managed to say. Rainier only hesitated a moment before he placed his wife into his readied arms.
He clutched her to his chest, her skin cold and clammy to the touch. "Get a healer," he whispered, his voice about to fail on him. The air brushed the bloodied strands of her pale hair.
He felt Leilanna move behind him, already knowing what to do - what was the best course of action as his thoughts were in turmoil. Josie gasped, a low sound which came before the quiet sob.
Her team surrounded him still, each unwilling to leave her side. Each man held water in their eyes, much the same as himself.
The healers arrived, and the men stepped back. Rainier coughed, his gloved fingers reached to swipe at his eyes as he looked away.
Memories of the pain from his time in the circle, the torture, and the betrayal of his Knight-Commander were nothing compared to the feeling which over took him, and ceased his heart in a vice so tight he wondered how it did not rupture.
The feel of her, and the light weight of her body was taken from him. He watched, a broken man, as they carried her away.
He did not notice the tears roll down his cheeks, nor did he feel Josie's hands as she hugged him tightly. His arms hung loose by his sides, his hands numb, and stained from the blood on his wife's armour.
It was hours later, he was told, that the healers returned from the room she was being kept in while the tended to the wounds she'd received.
He had been sat in a chair outside the door, his head in his hands for longer than he could recall. Seconds rolled into minutes without much notice. He could not think past the wirl wind inside his skull.
"What news?" He almost dared not ask, not knowing if he could take an answer which would mean he was alone in the chaotic world.
"She is stable," the healer, a middle aged woman spoke in tone which he presumed was meant to reassure him. It did little however, to quell the storm inside him.
He breathed through clenched teeth as the woman continued, "her left arm. The one which was marked has been removed. We are not entirely sure how it was possible, or how it was done but her elbow remains intake and has healed over enough that it is not a concern."
Many questions ran through his thoughts at that. The mark had been killing her, did the lack of it mean she had been saved? The hungry magic could have possibly been quenched.
Someone had hurt her and they still did not know if the mark was somehow active. He did not know who had done it, and he found it hard to believe that the Elven Mage she had considered friend and mentor could have...
No, he was not sure. If the Mage had somehow been involved, after two years of absence.
Then there was the situation with the meeting of councils. They knew of the inquisitors health, and still they waged war. Demanding that the inquisition stepped down. It raised his ire to an uncontainable level, and if he had to tare down the Winter Castle himself to protect her from them, he would without hesitation or regret.
"Can I see her?" He asked, a slight plea in his voice. He needed her; to touch and see that she was still with him.
"Yes," the healer woman nodded solemnly. "Though she is not conscious."
He nodded absently, not entirely sure he was in control of his body. He had been disconcerted since she'd departed through the Eluvian.
The healer directed him through the door, but remained in the frame. She said something about collecting more herbs from the spy master before leaving, the door giving a soft thump as it closed.
She lay in a bed, the russet coloured covers reminded him of his houses banners, ones that she was now under as his wife.
He moved quickly to the bed. Words caught in his throat, and he was unable to say anything to her as he sat on the bed to her left. Her chest rose and fell with signs of life, and felt like weeping from relief.
Her eyes lashes fluttered against her pale skin and the dark Dalish tattoos he had become accustomed to. His hand reached to brush her hair back over her head, his touch soft and gentle as he always was with her. It amazed him, how love had warmed his wounded heart.
She had made him feel like the man he always wanted to be. A miracle in it's own way.
Tentatively, he out stretched his hand to touch her heavily bandaged left arm but paused half way. He did not know if it pained her, and he wished feverishly that he could take the pain away if she were.
He touched her shoulder instead, his palm cold against her flushed skin. He did not wish to anger the raw wound at her elbow, if it was not entirely healed. She signed lightly, and his heart jumped in it's cage.
Cullen leaned down his head till his forehead brushed her neck. Through the scent of battle, he was still able to caught her unique smell of rain, and woodlands.
He breathed her full name against her skin, adding his last name to hers. His chest squeezed at the sound of it. "I love you," water stung his eyes once more. "Please, come back to me."
Words would not come to him after that. He repeated them in his head, lines such as 'don't leave me' but could not bring himself to speak. He simply held her as she slumbered.
The door opened sometime later to reveal Cassandra. The seeker had shed her robes which signified her as Devine Victoria and stood in simple warrior wear. Cullen found himself staring at the woman, as she stared back. He had never seen her look so heart broken.
"Cullen," she spoke, and he flinched at the loudness of it, even though it had been simply a whisper. He did not move as she approached to place a hand on his shoulder as many had done.
"You should rest," she spoke again, maybe long minutes later. He could not tell. "I will watch over her. You have my word."
He shook his head, but then Leilianna was in the doorway, speaking of the council meeting and his blood boiled.
"You are needed Commander," the spy master looked apologetic. He would give them hell, that was for sure, if they wanted to push him.
"Go," Cassandra nodded, as if the choice were already made. He nodded in return, slowly, before leaning down over his wife to press his lips to her hair.
"If anything...," he had to stop, couldn't finished that trail of thought or sentence. Cassandra knew what he meant.
"Of course. Do not worry, I will be here." The warrior took his place on the bed, her hand clasping that of the inquisitors.
He turned to follow the spy master. They wanted to tare her apart, and while he'd tried to keep a distance, knowing she was capable, he would not do so while she lay unconscious.
They would get nothing from him, and he would not back down when it came to her.
He would protect her, even if it destroyed him. Even if he had to give him life. He would do willing, a thousand times over.
Only for her.
She knew it was a dream, but still the sight of the world burning in chaos as the veil ripped around them was utterly terrifying.
Her thoughts somehow made each detail incredibly detailed, as if she were really there. Watching the ones she loved die, and knowing she had been betrayed again.
"I'm here," a voice reached her, above the heat of fire which licked at her skin.
She sucked in a sharp breath as she surfaced from the dream. Her torso rose of the bed, only to be captured by warm arms.
Stubble tickled her cheek, and she breathed in the familiar scent of her lion: sandalwood and the grass fields of Fereldan.
"I've got you," he ushered, his voice warming the wounds which no eye could see. Cullen was there for her, had always been there for her: he had asked her to marry him, even with her being a Mage.
A large hand brushed the back of her head, fingers soft against her hair. "You're awake," he breathed, almost to himself.
"C-Cullen," she tried, her voice was dry. She swallowed and managed to pull back enough to look into his eyes. She knew her arm was gone - it was an odd sensation, overwhelming and she could not yet bare to look.
He gripped the sides of her face, his eyes working over her tattooed and scarred face which he loved so dearly. Had done, since the day he laid eyes upon her during her ascent into the remains of the temple of ashes.
"I though...," his voice cracked, and she leant forward as best she could to push her forehead against his. He realised what she wanted, and he bent to meet her. "I thought I'd lost you," he whispered, so painfully that her heart wrenched.
"I'm here," she now soothed him, and it also consoled herself to an extent. She had made it, somehow. Back to him. In those last moments, she had wanted to weep for the time she would loose with him, for all the dreams which would never come to pass.
They would have married, only for her to leave him days afterwards.
"What does the healer say?" She said, after a silence where they took in each others presence. Phoenix had to know, however.
"It will be strange, at first," he told her, and gently brushed what remained of her left arm. She tried not to flinch, but he noticed.
"I'm sorry," he cupped her cheek.
"N-no," she gripped his arm with her right hand. "It is...as you say, something which I will have to get used to. Over time..." It was still a shock, if she was honestly and it hasn't really sank in, but she knew it would be just another thing she would overcome, in the end.
"I will be there," he told her, with conviction and a loving passion which had drawn her to him from the very start. "We will get through this. You are here, you made it back to me."
"I did," she managed a smile, and he leaned down to kiss the edge of her mouth lightly. A comforting gesture, which had her follow with her head upon his shoulder. Her face pressed into the crook of his neck.
"I did."
...
Finally finished this! As the beginning of the story says, I wrote the start when I'd literally just got to the end of the Trespasser DLC and I was distraught!
I really loved that Cullen proposed, I knows it's kind of the fairytale ending but after doing a Zevran romance and Fenris, it was nice to not have heartache! When he asked the question, I must have squealed like an idiot and just grinned at my other half.
Then the end, God the end. Solas, why though?!
It was a shock to see that my inquisitor has lost her hand in the final cutscene but I actually agree with the decision to make it end that way. Really made an impact, I think - the inquisition took a lot from the main character but she was still standing in the end.
Bioware know how to make inspirational characters, that is for sure.
Reviews would be appreciated. Helps give me motivation to continue.