Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any characters affiliated therewith. Neither do I own "Jillian" or any material related to Within Temptation.
"The ambivalent power of fire to create and destroy." Ka', Cirque Du Soleil
I've been dreaming for so long,
Ever since I found the Death Note, I've been possessed by a shinigami named Ryuk.
To find a meaning
Bored, and stupid as I was, I thought I could use it to better mankind.
To understand.
I thought I understood what I was doing, and at the time, it made sense to me.
The secret of life,
Though my family was always there to support me, they didn't know how to love me the way I wanted them to love me.
Why am I here
…where will I go…
To try again?
I had always wished to be more than just number one.
Will I always,
…Be nothing more than an icon, a marker for others to follow?
Will you always
… Drive me forth to the point of insanity?
See the truth
…Of my mistakes…
When it stares you in the face?
The pain I caused so many people…
Will I ever
… be able to redeem myself for the blood on my hands?
Will I never free myself
… from you, L, the enigmatic detective…
By breaking these chains?
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
Let me feel the sun's warmth upon my face again…
I'd turn it back, it's my fault.
I wish I'd never picked up that damned notebook…
Your destiny is forlorn,
L, forgive me for the pain I've caused you…
Have to live till it's undone.
My life is forfeit…
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
Lead me away from their tormented screams I hear at night…
I'd turn it back
Time can never be reversed…
And then at last
…I'll close my eyes, in hopes…
I'll be on my way.
I've been living for so long,
How many years have I been drowning in their blood?
Many seasons have passed me by.
I can no longer feel even the cooling rain on my face…
I've seen kingdoms through ages
Now I realize a perfect world can never be…
Rise and fall,
… Like I've done…
I've seen it all.
I've seen the horror,
What more wretched being on the Earth is there than me?
I've seen the wonders
Trust given to me from my own enemy…
Happening just in front of my eyes.
I reach out, but they're not there anymore…
Will I ever
… Earn your forgiveness, L?
Will I never free myself by making it right?
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
Someone keep me from this hell I've made for myself.
I'd turn it back, it's my fault.
I don't want to die.
Your destiny is forlorn,
Those black, angelic wings of a god I imagined…
Have to live till it's undone.
…I wonder where they've gone.
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
I never expected to be overcome by power…
I'd turn it back
… I can't see the light anymore…
And then at last
… I don't want to die…
I'll be on my way.
Jillian
L…
Our dream ended long ago.
You, too, were my first true friend.
All our stories
Can you ever forgive me?
And all our glory
Forgive my pride that caused your death?
I held so dear.
Now do I see, my scream of agony…
We won't be together for ever and ever,
… Was really real…
No more tears.
The tears I told myself weren't there…
I'll always be here
Were like my soul draining from my body…
Until
the end...
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
Let me go…
I'd turn it back, it's my fault.
Let me fall…
Your destiny is forlorn,
My true self trapped behind Kira's insanity…
Have to live till it's undone.
"What have you done, Light-kun?"
I'd give my heart, I'd give my soul.
…I'd give anything at all…
I'd turn it back
… Bring them all back…
And then at last
… Let me die…
I'll be on my way.
A/N: I never thought I could write something so depressing… Many thanks to ItakiUchiha on Youtube for her awesome video, which inspired me to write this. And for those who are wondering, I do not, in fact, sympathize with Light at all. I just write whatever my inspiration tells me to.