DISCLAIMER: The characters below belong to Masami Kurumada and Shiori Teshirogi! AND THE STORY BELONGS TO MMBC!
Warning: Relationship between two men! Yaoi
Enjoy :D!
Untold
Dégel sighed for the he-forgot-how-many-time that evening, his eyes going over the lines he had just gone through again, trying to make sense of what he was reading.
'…If there is an infinite number of possibilities, then the number of possibilities that we have looked at… Why the hell can't he just stop staring already?'
Finally, with yet another sigh of frustration, he put the book down in resignation and lowered his glasses.
- Kardia? Is there anything I can do for you?
- No, - answered the Scorpio, still refusing to take his eyes off the Aquarius- Why did you stop reading?
- Because, Kardia, I cannot concentrate with you burning a hole into the back of my head. Please, tell me, is your heart bothering you again? Or are you not feeling well otherwise, perhaps? Or is there any matter that you need to discuss with me in particular?
- No, – came the same answer.
- Then, can you please stop staring at me? I don't mind you sitting there doing nothing but please just let me read in peace. – Dégel was certainly not happy with the current situation. It has been, how long? Five years and a half since he had arrived at Sanctuary? And yet, every evening, it has been a constant that Kardia would drag himself over his temple and sit there burning a few holes into his head with his gaze. Minus the times that he actually had to stay at his own temple to rest due to the fever, the Aquarius temple seemed to be a second home to the Scorpio. Then Dégel would ask what he wanted and the answer would always point in one way: nothing. Then he would continue to sit there and continue his staring until either he or Dégel would fall asleep; either way the Scorpio would sleep in the Aquarius temple. The next morning they would go down to the training ground together and spend the day together in general, then Scorpio would go back to his temple to dine and to bath, and then he would drag himself up to the Aquarius temple again.
Honestly, Dégel did not mind spending time with his friend, not in the least.
Well, it was… enjoyable…
Who was he kidding anyway, the truth was that he enjoyed every second of it; he just never really had the courage to show how much he was grateful for being able to spend time with his friend. Being the most intelligent of all the saints, he had long discovered that his enjoyment was not something people would regard as 'normal', and to his horror, he found that his feelings for the other had long passed that of fraternity and turned into something else. And that 'something else' was exactly the cause of his current discomfort. Telling Kardia about his feelings was a big no-no; he would probably freak out and never want to see his face again. Then again, he never really understood his friend, who may wanted to the world to see him as a sadistic bastard with little brain but in fact was of an entirely different caliber. But if he knew anything, it was that his very, very, very masculine friend was not a homosexual. Thus, he cherished this friendship that he had been so generously granted, especially the chance to touch his friend in a different way than in sparring when he gave Kardia the treatment for his raging heart.
A smack to the back of his head snapped him out of his trance.
- Penguin! How's the moon, eh? You came back from far away, mon ami.
- Kardia! You scared me! And do not even try to imitate French, your accent is horrible!
- But Penguin, you were not paying attention to what I'm saying, were you? Feel lucky I didn't want to wake you up with my Scarlet Needle, although I could if you would like me to… - Kardia fashioned his lopsided smirk and easily ruffled Dégel's hair.
- I beg your pardon, Kardia. What is it that you were saying again?
- See? I told you that I had good reasons to wake you up from your day dream! I was telling you that, as the wisest saint, did you know that you should never trust a poisonous thing such as a scorpion? – Kardia adopted a light, almost joking tone, but when Dégel jerked his head up to look into his eyes, what he saw there shook him to the core. Was it sadness he was seeing? Or some mixed feelings that even he could not name?
- And where does that come from, may I ask? – He asked, uncertain.
- Ah me, the Penguin is slow today. But very well, go on reading, I won't bother you anymore than necessary. – He turned his back, returning to his seat, presumably to continue with his hobby, viz. trying to get under Dégel's skin with his relentless staring. But Dégel knew better, though, for he had caught a glimpse of the look Kardia had wanted to hide from him.
Standing up, he caught the wrist of his friend.
- Kardia, please, tell me what it is that is bothering you. I cannot go back to what I am doing if you are not feeling well…
- Penguin, I already said I don't need anything!
Of course, that only worried him more, what with all the sudden 'trust' problem and this forlorn look Kardia just fashioned moments ago. Tugging gently onto the wrist he was holding, Dégel pleaded:
- Kardia, look at me, please.
And when the Scorpio turned to look at him, the queer expression was completely gone from his face that Dégel would have thought that he was hallucinating had he not known better.
- Kardia, I am sure you heard that the Holy War is coming. – He noticed a smirk, - Now more than ever you need to take care of yourself. I, as your friend, cannot let things bother you now that I am sure there are things of the sort. But I cannot help you if you never tell me. You said I should not trust a poisonous thing, but do you not trust me?
The bitter smile he received was stinging, like the sting of the scorpion Kardia was. But Kardia was not a scorpion, yes he was a Scorpio, yes he was poisonous, but Dégel, and only Dégel, who had had the pleasure to see one of those rare kind smiles knew his friend was anything but. He was deadly to the enemy, yes, but he was a great man, and a very kind and affectionate man to Dégel himself.
- Dégel, - the sound of his own name rolling off Kardia's lips sounded strange to his ears, - The Holy War is coming. And that is exactly why I do not want to tell you what it is that is bothering me.
- Am I not trustworthy enough for you to tell me something now that there is an imminent war? – The bridge of his nose stung but he kept his voice from quivering. If Kardia did not trust him, then his feelings were no more than a burden, were they?
- If you ever dare to say you are not trustworthy enough, I would kill you. Remember that, Iceberg!
- Then why?
- Why? You are too curious for your own good, Iceberg. Then again I guess that is what made you the wisest amongst us brutes. – Thinking for some time, and finally with a slight sigh, Kardia went on to whisper in a voice that was not like him at all - If you must know, Iceberg, I will tell you this. I am the untrustworthy one, not you. For all these five and a half years I have been wearing off your chair with my butt, I have been lying to you whenever you asked me if my heart was bothering me. Yes, it was, but I was telling you it was not. That's why I said you should never trust a scorpion, see?
Dégel was startled at the revelation.
- Your heart? Why did you not tell me sooner? I could have gone down to Scorpio to give you the treatment more often! – He sighed in exasperation, - Why can't you take care of yourself more, the war is coming and you know that!
Dégel was lying, too; the 'I don't want you to suffer' part was bit back harshly at the end of his ranting. Kardia did not need to know what would only hinder him. Yet, the pain that flashed through his brilliantly blue eyes hurt Dégel more than he understood.
- The war? You only think with rational thoughts, I should've known. But no, Iceberg, this problem of my heart cannot be cured by your ice, that's why I did not tell you about it.
The silence that ensued was awkward. Realization slowly dawned on Dégel, and the pain it brought was more than he thought he could bear. Piecing together bits of information he had gathered, he came to the conclusion: one, Kardia fell in love with someone; two, since the war was coming, he was probably thinking he was going to die, hence he was sad; and three, all the years he was gazing at Dégel he had wanted to communicate his problem with a friend but Dégel was too unsympathetic to feel it. The heartbreak was total.
- You surely are dumb for the title of the wisest saint, Penguin. – Kardia was wearing his smirk again, - I could read what you are thinking on your forehead, mon ami, and no, it's not what you're thinking. You're not unsympathetic, nor are you untrustworthy. It's just… there are things you would be better off not knowing, not when there's a war coming our way, not you who must always know too much… - His voice became uncertain, and for the first time Dégel noticed that his smirk faltered.
- You think I should not know, but as your friend, I must so I could help you out. If you do not tell me, Kardia, I would feel horrible. Will you still not tell me? – He could always maintain the 'friend' status, could he not?
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Dégel was looking at him those sad eyes, and all Kardia wanted to do right then and there was to pull his heart out with his own needle to apologise for making the only one he did not want to upset feel bad. Kardia of Scorpio may be a sadistic bastard, but he would not make his only precious thing on Earth sad because of him.
Dégel lowered his eyes, long eyelashes fluttering slightly. A twinkly little snowflake fell. And Kardia was frozen on the spot.
He heard something breaking inside his head, but he did not mind. His heart was beating faster, signaling one of the attacks was coming his way, but he paid no mind to it. Kardia of Scorpio was a sadistic bastard, but he was not a sadistic bastard that would make his only love cry.
Lifting the chin of his secretly beloved one, he stared into those eyes accentuated by the sudden wetness. Perhaps, if he revealed to Dégel he was less than straight and his 'object of skewness' was Dégel himself, he would be disgusted and would leave his side. Then he would be saved of the sorrow if Kardia would die in the Holy War, wouldn't he?
- Tell me, Iceberg, would you regret ever asking if I actually tell you what it is that is bothering my heart?
- If I could help you then, I would never regret it, Kardia. – The whisper coming out was almost breaking all the self-control he had meticulously built in his mind over the years. How he had wanted to just kiss his iceberg, and he had almost done so too, when the iceberg had fallen asleep before him, so trusting, so frail looking. But a sadistic bastard was different from a pervert, and he was fully aware of that.
- Then I will tell you, o phile(1). You are my problem, Dégel. For these past five and a half years, every day I would come to your temple just to gaze at you. Spending time with you during the day was not enough, for there are others around as well, and I do not want that. Even though it was only me pretending, I would like to pretend that only I could have the privilege to gaze at you while you read, and sleep in your temple at night. I would like to pretend, even for a short time, that there were only you and me in the world. See? I could not tell you because it is you who are my heart's problem, Dégel. And I am a coward, for not being strong enough to hold this truth inside until I use up my last breath in the Holy War!
Dégel's eyes widened, and his mouth fell slightly, revealing the cavern that Kardia knew was as sweet as marshmallow that he would die to taste. But now that the truth was out, he knew it was time he ended his foolish pretension. Now the only thing he would have to worry about was to conserve his energy for the war, trying not to see Dégel for the treatment. The iceberg was a natural charm, he was sure Dégel would find a better friend than he was. Aquarius was also one of the strongest saints, so he hoped his beloved would survive the war and live for his part as well.
Ah well, time to depart.
Kardia turned to leave, but was stopped in his track by delicate hands placing themselves on his shoulders followed by arms wrapping themselves around his neck.
He was dreaming. So he did not only have a weak heart but also a defunct brain.
Which might as well be a good thing, he supposed.
Though, as he heard soft sobbing in his ears, he was slowly forming the opinion that he was not the only one with a 'problem'.
Putting his arms awkwardly around the small waist of Dégel for the very first time, he rocked themselves back and forth in a soothing manner, unsure of how to comfort his beloved. 'Dégel, Dégel oh Dégel, don't say you feel the same too…' He thought confusedly. He did not want his love stuck in his mess, for it was a certainty that he would not have too long to live his life. The wise person should have known that!
- Dégel?- He ventured finally, parting slightly from the body that he had always dreamt waking up next to in the morning to look at the face that he had always dreamt seeing first thing every time he woke up. The sight that greeted him took his breath away. Dégel's cheeks were flushed the loveliest shade of pink, his eyes still a bit wet and his deliciously luscious lips were parted to mutter something suspiciously like 'idiot' over and over again.
Kardia had never felt so happy and unhappy at the same time.
- Idiot, you idiot, - finally, Dégel gave voice to his thoughts, - If the reason why you did not tell me my feelings were not unrequited was because of the Holy War, then you are the biggest idiot I have ever seen.
With that, he nuzzled his forehead against Kardia's shoulder, causing something funny to twist inside his heart. If he had not held onto his rational part of the mind with every ounce of self-control he had, the Scorpio had probably jumped Dégel then and there. As it was, the bastard could be a gentleman at times; and he was proud of that.
- But Iceberg, if what I assume, that you also feel the same for me, is true, then would it not be better if I had not told you I love you? The war is near, and I do not want you sad because of my loss…
- That's why you are the idiot, Kardia. Who told you that I would not be even sadder if either of us die before I discover that you return my feelings? Though, I am sure we would protect each other in the war as brothers in arms, no?
That was what he said himself, not Kardia's wishful thinking. Well, if he had the mind to say it, he would not regret it, being the wise person of the two. Perhaps he was right, that exactly because they were almost certainly going to die, they should enjoy the presence of each other when they could. That was enough for the Scorpio's undone, who gently took hold of Dégel's face to share their first kiss.
The taste of the Iceberg was exquisite, something he would bring down to Hell with him. It was cold, but at the same time the softest and sweetest thing he had ever tasted. It was addicting. If he had the chance he would stick himself with those lips for as long as he could. Forget the marshmallow, his love's lips were a thousand times more delicious to him. Breaking their kiss with great reluctance, Kardia almost lost his mind when he heard his Dégel whispering 'je t'aime' over and over again.
Kardia would jump him, he would. But right now, he was contented just to hold his love in his arms and spend the night talking.
The Holy War could wait.
His own honored death could wait.
Right now he was busy in love.
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A.N.: I hope to contribute to the grow of KardisxDegel's fanlisting and community!
(1) To those who don't know what 'phile' means go to http(double dot, slash, slash)en(dot)wikipedia(dot)org(slash)wiki(slash)-phil-
Please review and tell our sweet MMBC what you think! Once again, this story was not written by me, SiningStar, but by MMBC!