AN: Hope you like, just something I thought of when I was bored
Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns it all
Fiddlesticks
"Miss Evans?" I heard a muffled voice trying to pierce my consciousness, why the hell are they bothering me and what the hell are they doing in my dorm room, never mind calling me bloody 'Miss Evans'?!
"Miss Evans! Wake up!" Now they were flipping shaking me, what is it with this person? I opened my eyes, all ready to shout at whoever it was that had decided it would be fun to bother me, only to be confronted by a fierce looking Madam Pince.
"Now kindly release that book you are sleeping on top of, if you wanted a nap then you should be upstairs in your dormitory instead of down here, drooling on my books! This is a library young lady, have some respect!" She said scathingly, she was relatively new here and Lily had a feeling that she wouldn't be too popular. However she immediately released her hold on the book she'd been mistakenly using for a pillow to have it snatched away by the affronted librarian. Damn it, must have fallen asleep while I was trying to study for transfiguration. That's going to throw my whole schedule of course. Frick, frick and double frick.
Glancing at the clock I tried to figure out how long I had been asleep, only to discover that I had just 10 minutes till curfew. Hurriedly I gathered up all my notes and books that lay strewn across the table along with the half finished transfiguration essay. This is so not my day.
I made my way out of the library and started to dash up the stairs, trying to focus on where I was going in case they decided to change on me or I got caught by a trick step, I don't think I was doing too well though, made all the more evident by the fact that five minutes later I seemed to be further from the Gryffindor Tower than I had been to start with. At least I had avoided any trick steps, but this was small consolation as I realised that by now I was most definitely breaking curfew, not exactly a good thing to do when your Head Girl and trying to set an example.
"Fiddlesticks!" I cursed out loud, looking up and down the corridor as I tried to decide which way would be quicker and less likely to involve prowling teachers. My attention was diverted however when I heard a muffled laugh from behind me, I spun round but couldn't see anyone there, I felt my brow furrow out of annoyance. I'm sure I heard someone, maybe I'm going mad, to be honest I wouldn't be surprised, NEWT's were coming up and I was distinctly beginning to feel the pressure.
I started to make my way down the left-hand corridor, somewhat unnerved but I didn't really have the time to be pondering on the invisible mysteries of Hogwarts at this moment in time, I was more worried about bumping into Professor McGonagall. Although, was that shuffling feet I just heard behind me? I swerved around but just as I stopped the noise stopped too. Oh Merlin, I thought, this really isn't how I envisaged dying, alone in a drafty corridor, breaking curfew! If I died now, not only would I be, well...dead, but I'd be disgraced as well! Head Girl breaking school rules!
"Hello?" I asked, trying to sound more confident than I did, another muffled chuckle, "I warn you I'm Head Girl and I can have you severely punished for this" I said, mustering up all the traces of authority that I could whilst fearing for my life. Realising that this really wasn't doing anything I turned back around and walked away swiftly, hoping that I could at least try and get to the common room before being attacked but as soon as I started walking again, so did whoever or whatever it was that was behind me. I quickened my pace but so did they.
Finally, I drew up every ounce of courage I had and stopped abruptly, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I heard them stop too, turning around slowly, with my eyes still half closed as though afraid of what I might see, or might not see in fact, I spoke to them again,
"Would you please stop following me?!" She opened her eyes fully only to be confronted by her worst nightmare.
James Potter.
Worse than that, a grinning James Potter.
"Damn you Potter, why the hell do you do that?"
"Do what?" he asked innocently, though his eyes danced with barely suppressed amusement, "You shouldn't be out so late anyway" he pointed out hypocritically.
"Neither should you" I retorted, "And I'm only out late because I fell asleep in the library" I blushed a little when I admitted this and immediately cursed myself for it. Figuratively speaking of course.
"Well thats understandable I suppose, it is a very boring place" he smirked, I so wanted to wipe it off his face but unfortunately for me, right at that moment I really couldn't think of anything to say. In fact I could barely think coherently at all. Must be the stress and sleep depravation, obviously...
"What do you want Potter?" I said instead, aware that I sounded a little defeated and hating it.
"I want a lot of things Lily, namely you, I would also quite like it if you called me James instead of Potter" I can't believe I just walked straight into that one!
"Oh be serious for once in your miserable excuse for a life!" I snapped, feeling thoroughly annoyed now.
"I'm not Sirius, I'm James" I glared at him as he continued to smile mischievously at me.
"Ha, ha, very funny! What a genius wit you have to think of that century-old joke"
"Well, okay, obviously my attempts at humour are completely lost on you. I was actually just going to offer to walk you back to the common room, seeing as I know secret ways you don't that might help in the general avoidance of teachers and therefore of detentions" the mischief had all but left his eyes and I got the feeling that this was about as sincere as James Potter ever really got.
"No thank you I can make my back just fine on my own, I don't need your help" Damn, I meant to say yes, that would actually have been very helpful but I can't because I'm supposed to hate him.
Wait! Supposed to? I do hate him! Of course I do, he's an arrogant prick who takes pleasure in humiliating others, when have I ever not hated him?
Only, he's been better recently hasn't he? He's been doing less pranks and it's almost as though he's actually started to grow up and what about a few weeks ago when he went and got a hot water bottle from Madam Pomfrey for me when I was feeling sick. Plus, I mean, who am I kidding, he is quite gorgeous...
No! Shut up! Damn traitorous mind!
"So, yeah, I'll just be going now, goodnight Po- James. Thank you for the offer of help" I turned away, noticing that he actually looked a little stunned that I had been so nice to him. I can be nice when I want to, I just don't often want to.
I didn't get very far though when a thought suddenly occurred to me, turning back I walked straight up to James, who hadn't moved a muscle, and glared at him.
"What exactly is it that you're doing out so late Potter?" all traces of civility gone my mind swiftly started imagining all sorts of horrible pranks that were the forte of the 'Marauders'. He shifted uncomfortably under my gaze and I knew I had him, would he ever stop these childish games, he was Head Boy now for Merlin's sake, he was supposed to act responsibly.
"Well?" I asked impatiently, "And don't lie to me Potter" he cursed quietly in frustration, he, I so had him now, he was lucky if I didn't report him.
"Fine! You didn't come back, alright? I didn't know what to think, you would never miss curfew intentionally, I just came to see if you were alright. Happy now?" I reeled slightly, okay so that wasn't exactly what I was expecting, I mean I knew he had a crush on me, hell the whole school knew that, but I never knew he actually cared, that he actually noticed.
"S-sorry, I thought..." I drifted off, feeling very uneasy
"That I was just doing another prank, yeah I know exactly what you think of me Lily" he was angry now, more angry than I'd ever seen him in fact, especially with me, he was usually just teasing with me, he always laughed it off every time I'd rejected him or scolded him. Why was it so different this time?
"I give up, I really do!" he said throwing his arms up in the air in a gesture of defeat, "I mean, what more do you want from me? Can't you see how hard I've tried to change for you, I even stopped asking you out because it annoyed you" That was true enough, he'd not asked me out for over a month now, it had been very weird. He looked at me imploringly but what was I supposed to say? I just looked blankly back at him and he gave a cry of frustration, looking at me once more it was him that walked away this time.
Oh, fiddlesticks.
"James, wait!" I called after him, he froze immediately but seemed to have to take a moment to collect himself before turning back to me, "I'm sorry, if I've hurt you, I mean, I didn't want to, you were just so... oh I don't know but I did notice, I did notice that you've changed a bit"
"Thank you" he said, but his voice was unbearably hollow "Now please just let me go because just being around you is torture" anger bubbled to the surface,
"Fine!" I retorted "If my very presence is so unutterably horrible for you why don't we just part ways and never speak to each other again" he looked at me, half despairing and half incredulous.
"You really are blind aren't you?" I was about to snap at him again but he cut me off, "Lily, you torment me because I love you and I can't have you" I stood, dumbfounded, in all the years of teasing, years of being asked out repeatedly, he had never once told me he loved me.
"You don't.."
"Yes I do, very much so. Do you really have no idea what you do to me, just by calling me James instead of Potter?" my brow furrowed in confusion as he took a step closer, "Do you really think I would have kept trying after all the times you rejected me if you were just any other girl?"
"But I thought..." I don't know what I thought really, only that it wasn't that.
"Well you thought wrong" he was close now, I had hardly noticed him moving slowly towards me but now he was so close that I could see all the flecks of colour in his brown eyes. Suddenly it was a little difficult to breathe.
Since when does he have this effect on me?
Maybe since he told you he loved you?
Damn mind always thinks its so clever.
However the silent argument going on in my head took a backseat when I saw that James' hand was slowly reaching towards me, his eyes looked into mine almost pleadingly as his fingers slowly traced the side of my face. I stood still, my eyes wide.
Suddenly we both heard footsteps, panicking and slightly breathless we looked in the direction the steps were coming from. There was no doubt it was a teacher.
James grabbed my hand before I could protest and dragged me behind a tapestry a little way away into a corridor I never knew existed. My heart pounded against my chest as I heard the footsteps get closer, sure that at any moment Professor McGonagall would swing back the tapestry and discover us.
However it must have more my day than I previously realised as the footsteps went right by us without any indication of stopping and slowly faded away into the distance. I let out a breath that I didn't know I had been holding, I felt as though I had just narrowly avoided having a heart attack. James seemed to notice this as he looked at me with concern,
"Are you alright? You've gone very pale" I felt like snapping at him but I didn't think I had the energy, instead I just nodded dumbly, "Come on, lets get you out of here" he continued, silently I allowed him to take my hand again as he started to lead me through various secret passageways.
Finally we arrived in front of the Fat Lady, James gave the password, ignoring her remarks about how late we were as well as some suggestive comments about what we had been up to and we both scrambled through into the common room. Luckily it was deserted so there weren't any witnesses to the fact that I was holding hands with James Potter, which would undoubtedly have caused some sort of uproar as the gossip mill started to turn. Shyly I untangled my fingers from his, he looked a little surprised as though he had forgotten we were still holding hands, he looked up at me apologetically,
"I'm sorry I..." I cut him off
"No, thank you for..."
"It was my pleasure, honestly" he smiled half-heartedly
"And I'm sorry for..." I started
"No worries" blimey this was awkward,
"Well goodnight James"
"Goodnight Lily, sweet dreams" he stayed where he was, I could feel him watching me as I walked up the stairs to my dormitory. It had been one hell of a night.
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