Author's Note: GAH! So I had all of this all typed out before and FF deleted it. Well anyways, I decided to try and write a crackfic. Totally not meaning to offend anyone. This is all meant in fun. This is based off character traits that me and Torilei came up with over hours of twitter conversations. Ah to think this all started with JoMo causing car crashes... but we'll get to that later. :) Anyways inspiration is all thanks to Torilei! She made and gave me the list of all the characters we've got. We've got a lot planned so we hope you enjoy the show! :D

Warning: If you are a Cena fan don't even bother reading. Its nothing but Cena bashing. Not everything, but it'll be very apparent in every chapter.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Vinnie Mac and the mentioned individuals own everything. I just like to borrow them and play around! :D

Have fun and enjoy the ride!!!

One, Randall Keith Orton, was waiting at guerilla position. This was his night, he would finally shut up and get rid of one annoying John effing Cena. At Bragging Rights he would retain his title and nothing was going to stop him. Cena would finally be out of his hair once and for all.

As Orton stretched and shook himself out, sighing deeply as he thought "evil thoughts," as he tried to get into character. All of the sudden behind him he heard a very quick jittery whistle. He slowly turned around to see one Jeff Hardy behind him. He couldn't help but smile at his longtime friend, until he looked at what was in his hand.

"Come on Jeff of all nights you needed Skittles?" Randy asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Awww come on Randy… You guys never let me have any fun. And I'm not even out there tonight, or for a while in fact, and I just wanna have fun…" Jeff pouted.

"Fine, but I swear, when I come back and your obnoxious, I'll kick your ass 12 ways to Sunday. Do you understand me?" Randy said with a stern look.

"Fine, but it's not my fault. Matt should remember not to give me any spare change when I'm hungry and at a Pay-Per-View. You'd think he learn after the last time…" Jeff said with a huge grin.

Randy shuddered at the thought. Matt had given Jeff about 10 dollars worth of spare change at Wrestlemania 24. Now as if the energy of the arena wasn't enough for Jeff, he had 10 dollars to get whatever he wanted. What Matt wasn't expecting was that he would get a ton of skittles and mountain dew. And all night Jeff was bouncing off the walls, he was almost like a little child. He demanded piggy back rides, performed random Swanton Bombs from anywhere and everywhere, and even had the balls to try and call out Randy. That was a night no would ever forget, but desperately wanted to.

"Anyways I just wanted to say good luck out there tonight and I hope you kick his ass," Jeff said with a glint in his eye and a small smile forming on his lips.

"What are you planning Jeff?" Randy asked quite scared to hear the answer.

"Why would I be planning anything Randal?"

"Good Lord, now I am scared. You almost never call me Randal"

"I'm not planning anything I swear! Anyways I better get going, best of luck Mr. Thunder Thighs!!!!" Jeff screamed as he ran off giggling.

Randy looked down at his legs very self conscious, "thunder thighs… My thighs aren't that bad, are they?"

A passing stage hand looked at him and kind of laughed to himself as he scurried off.

"Awww man…" Randy didn't have any more time to swell on it as he heard his music blast throughout the arena.

"I hear voices in my head, they council me, they understand, they talk to me!"

Randy walked out to the stage holding the WWE Championship Belt over his legs.

"Damn you Hardy, when I get back there I'm going to kill you!"