Rating: PG-13
Summary: I never thought I would feel anything so amazingly beautiful yet so painfully disgusting at the same time. I thought I found my angel but then my world crashed around me, and now I'm dead. EllieXSean
Warnings/author notes: This does contain some disturbing themes, Um lets see there is a character death so don't kill me, I warned ya...
Other A/n: This was taken off and put back up for spelling and grammer errors. I hope it's more enjoyable now. Also I lowered that rating, because I don't that it has much that is R... kinda.
The Photos of my Life were Burned
"Hey Baby." Someone behind me slurred, a moron who had a tad too much to drink. His hands snaked around my leather clad waist and he whispered in my ear, "How much is it to take you home, sweetie."
I let out an annoyed groan. "A lot." I said harshly grabbing his wrists and releasing him from my body. I turned to look into blue unfocused eyes, my own narrowed, I hated working here.
Welcome to my screwed life, my name is Ellie Nash. I couldn't get into a college and ended up somehow working in a night club, being forced to wear foul looking black leather that squeezes my body so hard I can't breathe.
"El-el" I hear my coworker Bridget's 1 voice behind me, her voice full of scolding her arm wrapped around my neck the smell of heavy lilac perfume filled my nostrils.
"El-el really be nicer to the customers, they're all here looking for happiness."
"I don't whore Bridget."
She let go and faced me, looking hurt.
"Oh El-el you need to earn more money somehow, your practicly getting kicked out of that shitty apartment you bought."
"My name is Ellie. Get it right." I pushed her aside roughly and went back over to the bar.
Work was never fun for me. But nothing really was anymore.
"Fine. Ellie." I was startled to hear Bridget next to me again. She was putting her greasy long hair into a messy ponytail. "Do what you want, OK? But you should get a second job or something, I'm not about to hand you out money anymore..." She was distracted by someone else talking with her, much to my relief.
I sighed... I did need money ... no! This was all just stupid, I was not about to sell myself. I had to much pride for that.
---------
"Pay. Or get out." His raspy voice hurt my ears. I never liked my landlord, an old guy with a saggy face. He had nothing better to do with his life but yell at people.
I sighed, annoyed and drained. Damn I was too tired for this.
"I'll... I'll have the money by tomorrow, all right?"
His face crinkled up, he thought for a moment and nodded. "Fine! But it better be here or I'll be kickin your sorry ass out!"
I turned to get away from him and wearily walked to the club. My mind spun with lack of sleep and confusion of what to do. I searched my pocket for a cigarette.
Cigarettes. The only thing keeping me sane.
"No..." I couldn't find my lighter.
"Here."
I looked up. A man who looked as though he was in his 30's smiled at me and winked, a cigarette dangled from his slightly yellow teeth and he held a box of matches in his right hand.
"Can't find your lighter?" He lite a match for me.
"Thanks." I mumbled inhaling.
"Nasty habit, isn't it?"
I nodded, "I guess." He softly kissed my cheek, I could faintly smell alcohol on his breath.
"You bartend at that club, right." My eyes closed.
"Yeah." I whispered.
"Oh El-el you need to earn more money somehow, your practicly getting kicked out of that shitty apartment you bought."
"I'll... I'll have the money by tomorrow, all right?"
His placed his hands on either side of my face.
"Your very beautiful."
My eyes stayed closed. I wanted to cry so badly.
"$100." He whispered in my ear and began kissing me on my neck.
"$200." I found myself say. My eyes opened, his tongue came from his mouth and he ran it along my cheek. I wanted to throw up.
He nodded and took me up into his arms.
No bartending tonight...
I woke up feeling tired and dirty.
Sheets where off the bed and my body was naked against the other mans equally naked body. His arm was draped over my shoulder.
What had happened to having to much pride to sell myself? I was disgusted by myself. I grabbed my clothes and quickly put them. I'd been paid the night before.
Days went by. I kept my apartment. I kept my job. I now got men to bring me to their homes, to play with me as they pleased for one night of sex. I won't deny, how good it felt sometimes, the sex I mean. But I also won't deny how sick I felt whenever I thought about it.
I quickly got tired of life, but kept going anyway.
-------
"El-el, take care of that guy over there hes been causing trouble lately ... always fighting with someone. Less customers." Bridget had picked up her nickname for me again rather quickly.
I looked over to the other side of the club, I stood on a chair just to see him.
A blonde, swaying slightly from what was probably a drug, or too many drinks. Maybe just from rage, but I knew that was a lie. No one left this place sober.
He was ruthlessly punching a guy in the face. Looked painful.
"Should we call the cops?"
Bridget snorted, "Never. It'd just cause more of a ruckus. Just get em out of here, all right?"
"Whatever..." I got past the crowds of people and went over the blonde, who was now sitting in a chair watching the guy he'd just beat up leave.
"Hi. We've had complaints." I tell him, crossing my arms.
"Yeah, what kind of complaints."
My eyes narrowed. "About you, asshole. Your making people leave."
He laughed, but I didn't understand what he was laughing about.
It was then I realized something. I don't know why I didn't recognize him sooner... but one word fell from my mouth "Sean?"
He looked startled and stood up, putting both hands on my bare shoulders.
He opened his mouth to talk, but instead his eyes closed slightly and he collapsed. On me.
"Oh ... com'on..." I groaned. I tried to push him off of me, and when I did, I helped him to stand.
"Great. Now what?" I found that with most of his weight on me, he's incredibly heavy.
"Where do you live, Sean?" I asked the half passed out man.
"mmm....somewhere. I think..."
I rolled my eyes. Yeah that helped a whole lot.
"Stay awake. I can't carry you."
Bridget would kill me for missing another night, but I wasn't about to leave him on the floor.
I got us into a cab, and found myself studying the dazed blond from my past. His head turned slightly.
"...Ellie right?" He mumbled.
"Yeah. Its been awhile, huh?"
He nodded and laid his head on my shoulder.
"M so t'red"
"What the hell did you take Sean?"
He mumbled incoherent sentences that I couldn't really hear.
"Will you stay awake until I can get you into my apartment?"
He nodded and pressed his face into my shoulder, mumbling something else.
--------
I placed a wet cloth on his forehead before laying down next to him on my slightly itchy bed spread. I covered us with the one sheet I own.
I fell asleep instantly, still amazed that I dragged him four flights up.
I woke up to the lovely sound of vomiting that came from the bathroom.
"Hey... I see your up." I say behind the hunched over form of Sean who was currently busy disposing of everything he'd eaten the day before.
After a minute he stops. Taking some toilet paper and wiping his mouth with it. Then flushing.
"Yeah. Hey ... could I ask you something?"
"Sure." I lean, bored, against the frame of the door.
"Why ... was I in your bed?"
I smiled and shook my head, "You don't remember anything?"
I didn't get a response, he just stared and the tiles on my floor.
"I just brought you here because you were too high to do anything but stare into space."
He nodded and got up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you."
"You didn't. Don't worry."
We just stood awkwardly for a while, doing nothing.
"You want something to eat?" I walked over to the kitchen/living room, Sean following me and took out a frozen pizza.
"Yeah I guess."
"This is all I have." I told him, preheating the oven.
"That's fine."
More awkwardness.
I sighed, Sean looked out a cracked window.
"Where do you work?" I asked.
"At..." He paused.
Wrong question to ask....
"At some restaurant...." He sounded ashamed.
I smiled gently at him, "Better than my job."
His eyes met mine, slight curiosity in them.
"Bartender and soul seller." Whispered playfully as though it was a joke.
His eyes looked sad.
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't be."
-------
Sean comes to the club often, watching from a corner drinking from a glass. I know he's watching me. To see who I'll take home. I almost feel like he's protecting me, though he isn't. Nearly every night I go home with someone.
I've gotten more and more tired lately I've been throwing up in the morning and feel terrible. I think I'm pregnant. I don't have a clue who the father is.
Sean and I have become good friends though hes still said nothing about the guys until a little while ago.
Hes changed. I have too.
-------
I sat on a stool, Bridget flirting with someone at the bar and Sean putting some sort of crazed drug into his mouth before walking over from his spot in the corner. He sat in front of me.
"Don't go with anyone tonight." He told me.
Bridget shut up and gasped. "Ooooh! Is this you boyfriend El-el?"
I glared at her but Sean said "yes"
I felt a slight blush on my face and turned to a girl who was asking for a drink. Since when was I his girlfriend?
My shift ended quickly and I left with Sean.
"What was that?" I asked him.
"What?"
"I'm not your girlfriend Sean. Unless you've suddenly gone back to the Degrassi days." I walked fast, he was right next to me.
"I just needed an excuse." He said, "You shouldn't go home with people so much. You'll get yourself sick or pregnant. I stopped. Did he know? No, he couldn't.
"I'm stopping that Sean... I-I was thinking about it last night and maybe I can get a better job or go back to school. Maybe you can too." I told him.
We were at my apartment.
"Maybe..." He sounded uncertain.
"It'll get better...."
-------
It didn't.
I found out that I was pregnant. So did Sean, he made me see a doctor. To my surprise I have no diseases. I still worked at the bar, Sean seemed depressed. More than usual anyway. I have no idea why. Whenever I ask him what's wrong he says nothing.
On the bright-ish side I haven't been sleeping with any men at all.
Sean doesn't come to watch me at the club anymore. He stays at home. Stoned or asleep.
He told me he loved me. I don't know if he was serious or not.
I love him too.
I don't know what to do....
-------
This is where my life stops.
And Seans.
-------
Author Point of View
A body. A gun fire and a bottle of pills scattered on the floor.
Another body. A scream. A whisper of love.
"Please wake up....."
Cries. Pain.
"Wake up! Damn you wake up!"
Repeated shaking.
"I love you too...."
A gun fire.
A meaningless life...
---------
~FIN~
---------
heh done, I wrote this while watching Adult Swim, I suggest you all watch it too. Cartoon Network. And yes I do like anime.
I was gonna make this EmmaXSean but it just didn't fit, I couldn't imagine her becoming a tad screwed in life just because she's so um organized. But it would have made an interesting plot, eh maybe I should have done her....
OK I'll make a deal with YOU. You review mine, I'll review yours.
Summary: I never thought I would feel anything so amazingly beautiful yet so painfully disgusting at the same time. I thought I found my angel but then my world crashed around me, and now I'm dead. EllieXSean
Warnings/author notes: This does contain some disturbing themes, Um lets see there is a character death so don't kill me, I warned ya...
Other A/n: This was taken off and put back up for spelling and grammer errors. I hope it's more enjoyable now. Also I lowered that rating, because I don't that it has much that is R... kinda.
The Photos of my Life were Burned
"Hey Baby." Someone behind me slurred, a moron who had a tad too much to drink. His hands snaked around my leather clad waist and he whispered in my ear, "How much is it to take you home, sweetie."
I let out an annoyed groan. "A lot." I said harshly grabbing his wrists and releasing him from my body. I turned to look into blue unfocused eyes, my own narrowed, I hated working here.
Welcome to my screwed life, my name is Ellie Nash. I couldn't get into a college and ended up somehow working in a night club, being forced to wear foul looking black leather that squeezes my body so hard I can't breathe.
"El-el" I hear my coworker Bridget's 1 voice behind me, her voice full of scolding her arm wrapped around my neck the smell of heavy lilac perfume filled my nostrils.
"El-el really be nicer to the customers, they're all here looking for happiness."
"I don't whore Bridget."
She let go and faced me, looking hurt.
"Oh El-el you need to earn more money somehow, your practicly getting kicked out of that shitty apartment you bought."
"My name is Ellie. Get it right." I pushed her aside roughly and went back over to the bar.
Work was never fun for me. But nothing really was anymore.
"Fine. Ellie." I was startled to hear Bridget next to me again. She was putting her greasy long hair into a messy ponytail. "Do what you want, OK? But you should get a second job or something, I'm not about to hand you out money anymore..." She was distracted by someone else talking with her, much to my relief.
I sighed... I did need money ... no! This was all just stupid, I was not about to sell myself. I had to much pride for that.
---------
"Pay. Or get out." His raspy voice hurt my ears. I never liked my landlord, an old guy with a saggy face. He had nothing better to do with his life but yell at people.
I sighed, annoyed and drained. Damn I was too tired for this.
"I'll... I'll have the money by tomorrow, all right?"
His face crinkled up, he thought for a moment and nodded. "Fine! But it better be here or I'll be kickin your sorry ass out!"
I turned to get away from him and wearily walked to the club. My mind spun with lack of sleep and confusion of what to do. I searched my pocket for a cigarette.
Cigarettes. The only thing keeping me sane.
"No..." I couldn't find my lighter.
"Here."
I looked up. A man who looked as though he was in his 30's smiled at me and winked, a cigarette dangled from his slightly yellow teeth and he held a box of matches in his right hand.
"Can't find your lighter?" He lite a match for me.
"Thanks." I mumbled inhaling.
"Nasty habit, isn't it?"
I nodded, "I guess." He softly kissed my cheek, I could faintly smell alcohol on his breath.
"You bartend at that club, right." My eyes closed.
"Yeah." I whispered.
"Oh El-el you need to earn more money somehow, your practicly getting kicked out of that shitty apartment you bought."
"I'll... I'll have the money by tomorrow, all right?"
His placed his hands on either side of my face.
"Your very beautiful."
My eyes stayed closed. I wanted to cry so badly.
"$100." He whispered in my ear and began kissing me on my neck.
"$200." I found myself say. My eyes opened, his tongue came from his mouth and he ran it along my cheek. I wanted to throw up.
He nodded and took me up into his arms.
No bartending tonight...
I woke up feeling tired and dirty.
Sheets where off the bed and my body was naked against the other mans equally naked body. His arm was draped over my shoulder.
What had happened to having to much pride to sell myself? I was disgusted by myself. I grabbed my clothes and quickly put them. I'd been paid the night before.
Days went by. I kept my apartment. I kept my job. I now got men to bring me to their homes, to play with me as they pleased for one night of sex. I won't deny, how good it felt sometimes, the sex I mean. But I also won't deny how sick I felt whenever I thought about it.
I quickly got tired of life, but kept going anyway.
-------
"El-el, take care of that guy over there hes been causing trouble lately ... always fighting with someone. Less customers." Bridget had picked up her nickname for me again rather quickly.
I looked over to the other side of the club, I stood on a chair just to see him.
A blonde, swaying slightly from what was probably a drug, or too many drinks. Maybe just from rage, but I knew that was a lie. No one left this place sober.
He was ruthlessly punching a guy in the face. Looked painful.
"Should we call the cops?"
Bridget snorted, "Never. It'd just cause more of a ruckus. Just get em out of here, all right?"
"Whatever..." I got past the crowds of people and went over the blonde, who was now sitting in a chair watching the guy he'd just beat up leave.
"Hi. We've had complaints." I tell him, crossing my arms.
"Yeah, what kind of complaints."
My eyes narrowed. "About you, asshole. Your making people leave."
He laughed, but I didn't understand what he was laughing about.
It was then I realized something. I don't know why I didn't recognize him sooner... but one word fell from my mouth "Sean?"
He looked startled and stood up, putting both hands on my bare shoulders.
He opened his mouth to talk, but instead his eyes closed slightly and he collapsed. On me.
"Oh ... com'on..." I groaned. I tried to push him off of me, and when I did, I helped him to stand.
"Great. Now what?" I found that with most of his weight on me, he's incredibly heavy.
"Where do you live, Sean?" I asked the half passed out man.
"mmm....somewhere. I think..."
I rolled my eyes. Yeah that helped a whole lot.
"Stay awake. I can't carry you."
Bridget would kill me for missing another night, but I wasn't about to leave him on the floor.
I got us into a cab, and found myself studying the dazed blond from my past. His head turned slightly.
"...Ellie right?" He mumbled.
"Yeah. Its been awhile, huh?"
He nodded and laid his head on my shoulder.
"M so t'red"
"What the hell did you take Sean?"
He mumbled incoherent sentences that I couldn't really hear.
"Will you stay awake until I can get you into my apartment?"
He nodded and pressed his face into my shoulder, mumbling something else.
--------
I placed a wet cloth on his forehead before laying down next to him on my slightly itchy bed spread. I covered us with the one sheet I own.
I fell asleep instantly, still amazed that I dragged him four flights up.
I woke up to the lovely sound of vomiting that came from the bathroom.
"Hey... I see your up." I say behind the hunched over form of Sean who was currently busy disposing of everything he'd eaten the day before.
After a minute he stops. Taking some toilet paper and wiping his mouth with it. Then flushing.
"Yeah. Hey ... could I ask you something?"
"Sure." I lean, bored, against the frame of the door.
"Why ... was I in your bed?"
I smiled and shook my head, "You don't remember anything?"
I didn't get a response, he just stared and the tiles on my floor.
"I just brought you here because you were too high to do anything but stare into space."
He nodded and got up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you."
"You didn't. Don't worry."
We just stood awkwardly for a while, doing nothing.
"You want something to eat?" I walked over to the kitchen/living room, Sean following me and took out a frozen pizza.
"Yeah I guess."
"This is all I have." I told him, preheating the oven.
"That's fine."
More awkwardness.
I sighed, Sean looked out a cracked window.
"Where do you work?" I asked.
"At..." He paused.
Wrong question to ask....
"At some restaurant...." He sounded ashamed.
I smiled gently at him, "Better than my job."
His eyes met mine, slight curiosity in them.
"Bartender and soul seller." Whispered playfully as though it was a joke.
His eyes looked sad.
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't be."
-------
Sean comes to the club often, watching from a corner drinking from a glass. I know he's watching me. To see who I'll take home. I almost feel like he's protecting me, though he isn't. Nearly every night I go home with someone.
I've gotten more and more tired lately I've been throwing up in the morning and feel terrible. I think I'm pregnant. I don't have a clue who the father is.
Sean and I have become good friends though hes still said nothing about the guys until a little while ago.
Hes changed. I have too.
-------
I sat on a stool, Bridget flirting with someone at the bar and Sean putting some sort of crazed drug into his mouth before walking over from his spot in the corner. He sat in front of me.
"Don't go with anyone tonight." He told me.
Bridget shut up and gasped. "Ooooh! Is this you boyfriend El-el?"
I glared at her but Sean said "yes"
I felt a slight blush on my face and turned to a girl who was asking for a drink. Since when was I his girlfriend?
My shift ended quickly and I left with Sean.
"What was that?" I asked him.
"What?"
"I'm not your girlfriend Sean. Unless you've suddenly gone back to the Degrassi days." I walked fast, he was right next to me.
"I just needed an excuse." He said, "You shouldn't go home with people so much. You'll get yourself sick or pregnant. I stopped. Did he know? No, he couldn't.
"I'm stopping that Sean... I-I was thinking about it last night and maybe I can get a better job or go back to school. Maybe you can too." I told him.
We were at my apartment.
"Maybe..." He sounded uncertain.
"It'll get better...."
-------
It didn't.
I found out that I was pregnant. So did Sean, he made me see a doctor. To my surprise I have no diseases. I still worked at the bar, Sean seemed depressed. More than usual anyway. I have no idea why. Whenever I ask him what's wrong he says nothing.
On the bright-ish side I haven't been sleeping with any men at all.
Sean doesn't come to watch me at the club anymore. He stays at home. Stoned or asleep.
He told me he loved me. I don't know if he was serious or not.
I love him too.
I don't know what to do....
-------
This is where my life stops.
And Seans.
-------
Author Point of View
A body. A gun fire and a bottle of pills scattered on the floor.
Another body. A scream. A whisper of love.
"Please wake up....."
Cries. Pain.
"Wake up! Damn you wake up!"
Repeated shaking.
"I love you too...."
A gun fire.
A meaningless life...
---------
~FIN~
---------
heh done, I wrote this while watching Adult Swim, I suggest you all watch it too. Cartoon Network. And yes I do like anime.
I was gonna make this EmmaXSean but it just didn't fit, I couldn't imagine her becoming a tad screwed in life just because she's so um organized. But it would have made an interesting plot, eh maybe I should have done her....
OK I'll make a deal with YOU. You review mine, I'll review yours.