This story is set a dozen years after the end of the FFIX in Eiko's POV.

It will be approximately five chapters long, each one titled a different emotion that Eiko would be dealing with. It goes through her struggle with her love for Zidane, her transition to becoming Princess, and her arranged engagement to the Prince of Treno. Among other things.

Hope you enjoy and read till the end!

~Animic

DESPAIR

There are some things that never leave you. Not even after almost 20 years, my parents' death remains fresh on my mind and the day I became a princess feels like yesterday. I know Cid and Hilda are not my real family and Lindblum has never once felt like home.

Before, I remember being so jealous of Garnet because being a princess was something I'd only read about in books of a land I thought never even existed. It was such a glamorous title and I had to have it.

I was such a naïve little girl.

It was appealing at first. I lived in a castle and was raised by two lovely and generous people whom I remain very fond of. With their guidance, I became Princess Eiko Fabool 'nee Carol of Lindblum in more than just a title, but in etiquette and intelligence. Turns out, I had a knack for leadership and led the people of Lindblum with ease alongside my father while we rebuilt the entirety of the Industrial District, whilst also expanding it, and repairing the others, as well.

The people of Lindblum were at ease. The dangers were nulled. Barely anyone remembers that I was one of the people to help save the world. I was considered to be a six-year old tagalong that they babysat out of pity. Maybe they're right. Maybe I was. Now, I'm just the heir to Lindblum. The Princess title was only temporary. It would become Regent when I surpass my father. If I do. There had never been a female Regent before. A lot of the Lindblum citizens seemed worried. I don't blame them. They said that Eiko did not seem like the person who would ever marry a man. What of the next heir? It's a fair question as I'd never once thought of myself being the sort to marry.

Look what happened to Dagger and Zidane.

Since the near-destruction of Gaia, the world has changed. Magic is forbidden on the Mist Continent now, summon or black. My flute is currently hidden in a box underneath the floorboards of my bed. I carry the key around my neck that I tell everyone is the key to my jewelry box. I don't even own a jewelry box.

It was an alright life as lives go, I suppose. Unlike my previous housing situation, I had my own room with a luxurious bed and an endless amount of clothing attire for just about every occasion. Of course, I had to deal with the repercussions of being royalty. I had about as much privacy as Lowell and as much freedom as the black mages at the beginning of the war.

Time stood still. Nothing ever changed.

It is my eighteenth birthday and yet I feel as if I remember more from my life before Lindblum than I do anything that came after. People say they've changed so much since they were little. I don't. My hair is longer, now, that's about all that is different. Not the way that I feel or the desires I have.

I am heir to the throne of Lindblum…but I'll never forget where I came from.

"I got the feeling I'd find you up here," someone said.

I didn't turn around, nor did I respond. I knew who it was. Blank. Since Tantalus and the Regent have such an intense mutual understanding, I've grown up under the influence of the majority of the group of thieves. They are my bodyguards as I walk through the city of Lindblum and, though unknown to the public, they are my trainers for combat. Turns out, as a child, I grew to have a bit of an anger problem. Pounding people with my fists turned out to be a relatively decent release for it. My true gift, my father found, laid in archery.

I never missed.

"Gotta admit. You do have the best view," he said after I didn't answer.

Every year on my birthday, the sky of Lindblum would light up with fireworks that, rumor has it, even Treno could see. I've never been that social of a person so I would spend most of my birthday evenings on the top balcony of the castle next to the telescope. It was always so peaceful up there.

"You should come join us downstairs," Blank said, trying to get me to talk. "Dinner's ready."

"I'm not hungry," I mumbled, my chin resting on my wrists as I laid my head atop the railing. He sighed, putting his back against it and crossing his arms. This was typical of me. He knew that.

"Zidane and Garnet are here, as well as Steiner and Beatrix 'n their kids," he reasoned. Little did he know, this didn't help. And her name wasn't Garnet.

"Dagger," I corrected him.

He only grinned. "Right. Dagger. Why are you so set on calling her that? You know that's not her real name."

The side of my mouth extended and I raised my eyes. No, I suppose it wasn't. "No. Sarah's her real name."

"Sarah?"

"Mh-hmm," I replied, not moving. "That was the name her mother gave her."

"Ah," he said, suddenly realizing something. He turned around and put his hands on the railing, leaning in to get a better look at me. I pretended not to notice. "So, that's what this is about."

"I don't know what you're talking abo-"

"Madain Sari."

The words hurt. Now, it felt like a place that only existed in dreams…but it also felt like I'd been there only yesterday. I promised myself after I got adopted by the Regent and his wife that I would go back there on my sixteenth birthday. After all, that was the age Grandpa wanted me to leave which was exactly why that's when I wanted to return.

It never happened. The Regent said it was too dangerous and he wouldn't let me go. By then, Zidane was no longer reliable and for some reason it felt wrong to ask Dagger. She'd worked so hard to build up her Queen façade that she was the daughter of Queen Brahne. I couldn't ask her to go through all that pain again.

Now, it's been two years and I've never returned.

"You know, you're eighteen now. If you wanted to go, he couldn't stop you," Blank said, trying to cheer me up. I finally lifted my chin up from the railing and gave him a short smile. If only it were that simple. Tomorrow, I would be officially crowned as the heir to Lindblum. I couldn't leave my people so suddenly afterwards. What a promising leader that would symbolize.

"I wish it was that easy."

"It is," he said bluntly. If everything went differently, I think I would have done great in Tantalus. The boys in there just take anything they want, no questions asked. Nothing's impossible for them. For a kid with nothing who had been thieving all her life, I guess I thought that being a Princess felt like the better option. After all, Dagger's life had seemed so glamorous.

The kid inside me regrets that decision every day.

"I say you're entitled to visit your old life. Shows you're proud of your heritage. The Tantalus crew can go with ya, we can take the Prima Vista," he offered. I only laughed. He knew nothing. "Well, your father sent me up here to come get you. Everyone's really anxious to wish you a happy birthday."

With that, he turned around and left towards the stairs, not even looking back. I watched until he was out of sight and gave one glance back at the fireworks behind me. The first day I saw them was when I was adopted into the Lindblum household. They still don't feel like family.

I found my way down to the dinner table where everyone was already seated. There sat everyone. Seeing them again brought so many memories. Of course, it also reminded me of how old we were all getting. Yet, nothing seemed to change.

"Happy Birthday, Eiko!" Dagger said. She stood up in her beautiful light blue dress and came over to hug me, squeezing me as hard as she possibly could. My arms remained at my sides. "It's wonderful to see you."

When she withdrew from me, she kept her hands on my arms and stared at me for a bit. I could tell she was forcing herself not to cry. Not for me…it was very hard for Dagger to be happy right now. I pitied her.

"Thanks, Sarah," I said, quietly with a smile.

Many people around the table looked at me oddly, but the others just ignored it. I was the only one who called her Sarah. Dagger and I found her real name scribbled in the Eidolon Wall twelve years ago when we were going about our journeys. I kinda liked Sarah.

With a small squeeze of my arms, Dagger returned to her seat and I sat down, quietly. Everyone was there. Zidane and Dagger, as well as Steiner and Beatrix with their little twins of terror. The Tantalus boys were seated across from them, along with Mikoto who ended up living with the Tantalus gang after all the genomes malfunctioned. And, of course, dear old mom and dad.

There were a few that were missing. Nobody liked to talk about them.

I did.

"Any word of Amarant?" I asked no one in particular.

They were all silent. Amarant was always known for his temper. He got into a rather large fight in Treno and was thrown into one of the South Gate penitentiaries. Treno finally got a stable police force and thievery was no longer tolerated there anymore. Now, it was back to being a city of nobles and is now known for its harsh criminal laws and prisons.

"None," Zidane finally said.

"Well, when was the last time anybody went to South Gate? Marcus, you go to Alexandria all the time to visit Ruby. You have to go through South Gate, don't you?"

"Not if I can help it. I'm kinda on their shit list, too."

I rolled my eyes. No one seemed to care about him. Cid said that Treno was no longer a distinguished place and our alliance with them was on very thin ice. We don't like what they do to their people, evidently. Most of Gaia is socialist whereas Treno is ruled by all nobles. Period. It's one of the reasons we created so many soup kitchens and homeless shelters in the Industrial District.

"What about Freya?" I asked.

This time, someone did have an answer. "Daguerro," Zidane said. "Got a letter that she's just out there training…fighting grand dragon after grand dragon."

Fratley never returned, again. At first, she was helping with the reconstruction of Burmecia but, one day, she just disappeared. We got a few letters, at first, and since then communication has been rather sporadic. For a while, she told us she converted to Cleyranism and was aspiring to learn everything there was to know. Now, I guess she's fighting dragons again.

I wish she was here. Well, if I'm wishing, I guess I wish I was there. Anywhere.

"Eiko, your friends have come from across the country. Do you have to speak of these things?" Hilda asked. I rolled my eyes.

"It's fine," Zidane said. "I'd wanna know, too."

The food was brought out. Barbequed salmon and potato stew. I smiled. It was the same meal that I served Zidane, Dagger and Vivi when they first arrived at Madain Sari. When I looked up, I saw Zidane grinning at me.

He remembered, too. Of course, he also remembered why I put so much work into the meal.

After all the plates were served, Zidane raised his glass. "To Eiko," he said. Everyone raised their glass for the toast. I didn't. I simply fingered the glass in my hand and stared at it, refusing eye contact with anyone. "May your life be far less complicated than mine."

With that, everyone clinked and drank. I didn't.

I wasn't the only one, either. Dagger sat staring at her glass intently and quietly. We shared a brief glance but she broke it quickly, looking down again. Things weren't boding well for Zidane and Dagger at the moment. They weren't officially together, anymore, only for appearances. Not many people know. Only members of the royal family and their immediate friends…such as everyone currently sitting at the table.

We tended to avoid the subject.

"To Vivi," I suddenly said, raising my glass. "And all the other genomes and black mages…who stopped much too soon."

"To Vivi," everyone repeated. At this, everyone clinked. It had been about five years since his passing. We never could perfect or extend the lifespan of the black mages. While it is shorter than a regular human lifespan, they did learn how to procreate. In fact, they are similar to the Burmecians who multiply like rabbits with litters. One standard Black Mage birth is about six kids. They simply tangle their life magic together, a boy and a girl, and the rest is history.

There are many black mages that still exist, and Vivi's children's children have had kids by now. With the outlaw of black magic, however, they're in hiding somewhere. Probably on a different continent and probably in the Black Mage Village, now that I think about it.

After a well-deserved silence, the only noise afterwards was the sound of silver on glass as everyone dug into their meal cooked especially for me. Barbequed salmon and potato stew. It always was my favorite to cook; though, I had never learned to perfect it. As far as I know, there's only one person on Gaia that could make it to perfection such as this.

Which meant there was someone else that was here.

"You like good food?" I heard.

As I turned around, I let out a huge grin. Quina. How I'd missed that gigantic teddy bear of a cook. I rose from my seat and gave him a giant hug.

"I knew you must have been the one cooking because there's only one person that can make a better barbequed salmon than me," I said, releasing him.

"That's because I teach you!"

He hadn't changed. For the past twelve years, Quina had been cooking as the head chef of Alexandria, again. Say what you will about Quina Quen, but he was a terrific chef. And after all those years of searching around the world, you know, he did learn a lot about food. A lot of his meals were carefully chosen throughout the various beasts of Gaia and many of them tended to have magical properties to make you feel stronger or more aware.

"Come and sit with us, Quina. Grab a plate."

S/he did not need telling twice (after much consideration, I'd formed the opinion that Quina was, in fact, a boy, but I never asked him about the subject).

"Why didn't you guys tell me Quina was cooking?" I asked, happily.

"We wanted to surprise you," Cid said. "Heaven knows it's better than anything I've ever tasted in Lindblum."

"Oh, come on, Cid, you know you love the pickles here."

I laughed. No one else really did. I should probably mention that I haven't called Cid my dad or father since I was around ten years old. People seemed to have gotten used to it. At first, Steiner would mention how disrespectful it was every time I called him by his first name. Now he just stares daggers at me from across the table. I really don't care what he thinks.

However, it was enough to create a small pause of awkward silence.

"So…" I started, awkwardly, desperate to avoid the subject. "How is Alexandria? Marcus, how're Ruby's plays going?"

Marcus looked around the table and smiled, softly, with a nod. "They're doin' great. She has a sponsored playwright, now, so she's performing originals and gets a rather decent crowd."

"Do you still co-star with her?" I asked.

He laughed. "Nah, I grew outta that pretty fast. I took over the synthesis shop down there and she, uh, I dunno, she's working with this four-armed guy now. Alleyway Jack or somethin'"

"That guy's an actor?!" Zidane suddenly exclaimed, spitting his wine over the table laughing.

"Yeah, and a pretty good one. Better than you, Zidane," Marcus laughed, clearly being sarcastic.

Zidane was never really a good actor.

"You jealous of the guy?" Zidane laughed, now chewing on a roll. Marcus only smirked.

It was sort of a new thing but Marcus and Ruby had recently begun to date. Well, not recently. It's been about two years, now, I suppose. A bit awkward, as Blank and Ruby held a crush for each other when they were young. They don't anymore, of course, as Blank has fallen farther from grace than she would care to dapple in. I don't believe Blank is jealous, he hasn't told me otherwise. He seems genuinely happy for the two.

The conversations all began to blur together and pair off. I simply observed. Everyone's eating and conversation habits always perfectly match up with their personalities if you know a person well enough. Cid and Hilda chatted with people separately, though each of them used one hand to eat and the other to hold hands. Steiner seemed to be intently discussing the particulars of aerodynamics with Cid while Beatrix and Hilda discussed the upcoming Mist Council meeting with great elegance. Steiner and Beatrix's twins of terror were currently flinging potato bits with their spins at the Tantalus members on the opposite side of the table who were currently into deep nostalgia attacks with Zidane, discussing greatest steals and jewels the sides of fists. Once or twice, Zidane would nudge his sister with his elbow and smile that cheeky grin while she scowled back at him.

Meanwhile, Dagger sat at the far end of the table, staring into space. Like me. Our eye sight caught once or twice. It ended almost immediately.

I simply sat quietly, soaking in whatever little time I had. Of course I missed them. I always will, even when they're close to me. It's not the same. It never has been, not since the war. We've all grown. We've all got different problems. Bigger fish to fry. These dinners. Birthdays. They were all simply formalities. Things we do to stay alive so we can laugh and smile…even when we've got nothing to laugh or smile about.

We saved the world…but at what cost?