"GET OUT!"
He faced the shouting; the accusing and commanding finger aimed at him did nothing to change his reaction. To show emotion to this child, this tantrum-throwing child, would mean being the same as the ondori. And he refused to be anything else than what he was. The ever-loyal inu.
A false smile appeared on his face and, predictably, it only enraged the other more. "You summoned me here only to tell me to leave? My, my... I'll have to make it up to Aya--"
"DON'T PLAY THE FOOL, YOU BASTARD!"
His smile became more of a cruel smirk at the exclamation. He must be a masochist, he thought to himself, or else he wouldn't keep coming for the abuse. Of course, there was a saying about fools and love and masochism, but he never liked to think of it. Especially right then, watching angry tears fall from those dark eyes and knowing why they were there. "Eh?" he commented with false surprise. "I thought I was the fool. I must be, after all..."
The other fell silent, wanting to hear his words, hoping for them to be profound.
Oh, they never learned.
"Afterall! I never catch colds!" he finished, barking out a laugh, hurting and taking pleasure in the pained and enraged expression on their face.
"You..." they hissed furiously.
He quickly interrupted, his own voice coming out hard as it used to in the past when he would defend them; now he used it against them, to show them that they were right. He was no fool. "Only a fool would keep coming into this dark room, always hoping, always praying, only to not be heard and turned away. Only a fool would accept his fate with a whimsical smile, never off-balance even when another is chosen over him." He lowered that hard voice, eyes going blank and cold. "Only a fool, Akito, would dare betray your trust just for a chance to see your eyes turn his way."
The young woman who so often pretended to be a man stared at him with wide eyes.
He closed his, folding his arms around himself, the smirk becoming more truthful than ever. Yes, he knew. They would never learn. No one in that cursed family, even himself.
He opened his eyes, meeting her eyes without flinching like so many other of the jyuunishi. "... but since you say I am not a fool, Akito," he said genially, uncrossing his arms and making a sweeping bow, "and since your word is our law, I'll take my punishment now, if you'd please."
And that was his fate. To continue to hurt himself and hurt others just to see if he wasn't the only fool. Akito, however, never played the fool.
She was quiet for a long moment, but he never straightened from his bow. Finally, his god delivered her punishment. "You... will leave here. Leave. You will not live within the Honke any longer. And I never want to see your cruel and distasteful mug of a face unless I call for it. Do you understand?"
"Hai, Akito-sama," he responded readily though quietly.
She paused for a moment before he heard her approach and felt her hands on his shoulders, heard her voice whisper in his ear. "You are still the inu of the jyuuunishi...as such, I may come to favor you again. For now..." She moved away, and he longed for that touch once more. Unlike the others in jyuunishi, all he felt was that longing with no underlying gratitude that it was gone. "For now... live as the neko--out of favor, more cursed than the others. Your prayers and pleas will fall onto deaf ears."
"Hai, Akito-sama," he repeated in the exact same manner, though he felt his stomach involuntarily clench at the thought of being at the same level as the neko. How cruel, he thought with some amusement while the spirit within him howled in outrage.
"Go," she commanded, and he straightened from the bow. She had turned her back to him, turned away from him. "Leave immediately."
He gave no parting bow, merely turned and walked out of that dark room, shutting the door with a sigh. After a moment of just standing there, listening to that part of him that cried and screamed about his punishment. Then he walked out of the building, hearing her screams as soon as he made it to the deck, where the ryuu and hebi stood waiting. He plastered a smile on his face, ignoring that part of him that wanted to run to her side. He knew the others wanted to do the same, but they were uncertain and confused because the inu kept walking.
"Saa What a day, what a day," he said jovially. "Will have to get my things together. Akito didn't give me a time limit."
The hebi gave his theatric response by gasping while the ryuu rose his eyebrows. "What is your punishment?" the latter asked cautiously.
He placed a hand to his heart, which hurt more than he would admit. "Oh, Aya, Ha-san... I'm afraid I've been demoted in the eyes of our god," he said with a mock-mournful air, seeing his two friend's reactions with amusement--Ayame playing along; Hatori looking bored. Then he dropped the bomb, suddenly becoming dead serious. "I'm on the same level as the neko."
A moment of silence followed those words and he knew why. The others were uncertain how to react. To be away from such a god would seem a blessing at first, but they all knew it was much worse to be away and ignored. They knew the anguish that came with being in the neko's position. Still, he refused to show his own pain, refused to show weakness.
He held up his hand in a shrugging manner, his eyes closing as he force a smile. "I suppose I brought it onto myself, though I think my parents will be thrilled to hear I'm moving out and upset that their pay will be cut--"
"Oh, never mind the details!" the hebi interrupted, making him open his eyes while the silver-haired man grabbed his hands. "Oh, Gure... however will we be able to stay together when you are forbidden to return to the Honke?"
"Oh, Aya," he responded, squeezing his friend's hands as they continued the routing, "our loving is like the light of the moon... and we are at the point where it has finished its waning, but come the moment of waxing, our love will surely grow evermore!"
"Oh, Gure!"
"Oh, Aya!"
"YOSH!" they both finished as one, jumping apart and shooting each other thumbs up.
The ryuu walked off, leaving the idiots behind.
-
-
"Are you finished packing?"
He smiled a bit, looking up to see the ryuu standing at his car which would be the inu's ride outside the Honke. "You know, I never knew I had so much stuff. Amazing, really," he commented lightly as he placed another box in the back of the car. "Pictures, letters, clothes, books, a strange acorn Momicchi gave me last New Year's--"
"Speaking of which," the other man said dully, "Akito expects you for New Year's."
He gave a strained laugh as he pretended to rearrange some boxes in the car. "Funny, I thought being at the same level as the neko revoked that privilege. Akito is a fickle god, wouldn't you say?"
The ryuu didn't respond.
"Besides," he continued to ramble, "I might be too busy settling in and I've been thinking of getting a job. What would I do to occupy my time, otherwise? Kyou's a kid and he's into martial arts--what with living with Kazuma-dono. Me? Well... you can't really expect me to learn a new trick or two at my age. Figure I could try a bit of writing. You always did say I had a way with words--"
"Especially when you're trying to avoid something."
He paused, wondering if the ryuu really understood. "Na, Ha-san, whatever do you mean?"
The doctor remained quiet for a moment. "... what did you do to receive such punishment, Shigure?"
He let out a small laugh and went back to shifting things around. "Just like someone in your profession. Straight to the heart of the matter, ne?" he said with false cheer that was quickly falling flat. Finally, he stopped. Just stopped. "Hatori. I don't know why I did it. Oh, I can give the same reason over and over again. 'She did it first, she did it first.' But really, who's the child if I say that? To be honest--" He looked to the ryuu with emotions few people--if any--saw on his face. Raw pain, anger, jealousy. "--I wanted to see what would happen."
Then the expression was back to a cheerful mirage. "So, now I'm getting the figurative boot. Ah, well...who knows? I might learn something--"
"And you hope she does as well."
He stood away from the car, a sad smile now replacing its predecessor. "Well, one can hope, but...she's a child. Very much still one. She won't learn if she doesn't grow, and I hope to find a way to help her."
His lifelong friend watched him for a long moment before huffing and looking away. "Baffoon."
"So mean, Ha-san!" he objected childishly before putting a hand on his hip. "Do you treat your patients like you do me?"
"My patience is slowly being destroyed by you taking forever to pack."
He made his way back to his old him, saying all the while, "So cold, so cruel!" He was sure, though, the ryuu understood. He hadn't answered the other man's question and was allowed to get away with it. He would show his thanks to the partially blind doctor. Maybe Mayu-chan would still be interested...
He entertained the thought of hooking the two up while he put away the many things that he'd gotten in his life. Even the gift he had not managed to give to her before that whole mess started.
-
-
"You summoned me, Akito-san?" he asked, sitting in the proper fashion for a meeting such as this. It had been five months. Five lonely, exhausting, tormenting months, and now he sat before the one he'd long to see all that time.
She wouldn't spare him a glance.
"I heard from Hatsuharu that you had a request involving Yuki," she said lightly, acting as if she was always in control when they both knew that to be a false idea.
"Hai, Akito-san," he responded just as pleasantly. Two, as they said, could play at this game.
"Why are you involving yourself in the nezumi's matters? What does one such as yourself care about what happens to him?" The suspicion was there, and they both knew it was justified.
He gave a mild shrug. "Someone was concerned about his health and asked me a favor. How could I refuse? We can't let Akito's favorite die from ill health, can we, Akito-san?"
"... go on."
"I said that I would take Yuki in if Akito-san would allow it, but sadly enough, Akito-san banished my presence from the Honke over five months ago--"
"Enough," she snapped, jumping to her feet as anger within her grew. He knew why she was angry and let her fury wash over him. "Why should I allow such a thing? You did not even attend the banquet."
"Hai. Sumimasen," he replied, undeterred. "I had a deadline to meet and--"
"Why would I care to know about that?" she shouted, turning her body to face him, though her eyes remained locked on the window. "You left me along, Shigure."
He smiled, a sad one she refused to see. "Alone? Surely not. Everyone was there, right? Even Kyou was standing outside in the snow, correct?" He dropped his voice to a whisper. "Do you still feel so alone even when surrounded by those who cannot refuse you?"
Before he knew it, she was near him, slapping him hard across the face. He didn't react. React to the temper-tantrum and you spoil the child more, after all. He wasn't the ondori who stunted her growth by doing so. So, instead, he remained frozen, feeling a welt with five finger form on his cheek while she screamed, "DON'T ACT AS IF YOU UNDERSTAND ME! DON'T PATRONIZE ME IN SUCH A WAY! YOU CRUEL AND WORTHLESS PIECE OF TRASH!"
"Hai, Akito-san," he responded promptly.
Smack! She struck at the same place.
"WHY DO YOU TREAT ME LIKE THIS?! RE YOU SO CRUEL THAT YOU WOULD TORMENT ME INTO HURTING YOU LIKE THIS?!"
"Hai, Akito-san," he barely managed to whisper before she slapped him again, cutting a corner of his lip with her nails.
"ANSWER ME, DAMN YOU! STOP DOING THIS! IT'S YOUR FAULT FOR ALL OF THIS! ALL OF IT!"
This time, he didn't respond, bowing his head in submission, not wanting to see that disgusted look in her eyes anymore. He couldn't help a bloodied grin, however, as he felt blood drip down his chin. She might not have had a tender expression in those dark orbs, but by god (and what a wonderful pun, that was), she had lain her eyes upon him after five long months. Months that had felt like years.
When he didn't answer, she calmed and turned away. He still continued to grin, though. "Fine," she said haughtily. "If you can make Yuki leave that room on his own free will--on his own feet, you can be the nezumi's guardian, you will be allowed to visit the Honke, but you will remain outside. Is that understood?"
He was silent.
She paused. "Get Hatori to do something about that bleeding. The nezumi's guardian shouldn't be seen with such a face."
Again, he didn't respond.
"Go."
And he left.
He ended up making the split lip worse when he saw the ryuu and ushi waiting for him outside. The older of the two shook his head at the grinning idiot while the younger one looked faintly bemused.
"Well, Ha-kun," he said, addressing the black-and-white-haired youth while ignoring the ryuu approaching him with a handkerchief, "I've done all I can. Now it's up to Yuki-kun to decide his fate."
The ushi stared at him before dropping into a deep bow. "Thank you for going against all odds to rescue our damsel, sensei," he said in his usual monotone.
"Stop that," the ryuu said while the inu yelped at the pain that came from inspecting the bruise forming on his face. "This idiot can already be big-headed enough. Don't give him a reason to be."
"Mou... Ha-san's so cold" he commented while the ushi straightened. "Oh, where's Aya? He's usually hanging off your side, Ha-san."
"It seems his business is extremely busy this time of year..."
He grinned some more. "Ah, spring. The vitality of youth and love!"
The ryuu deadpanned, "And what would you know about either?"
"Only that which a fool knows, Ha-san."
-
-
It was very ominous, like stepping from day into pitch-black night. He knew where the nezumi was, however; how could he miss that ghostly gray patch in this blackness? That gray patch only hid itself more and more with each passing second. He knew the boy feared it was her, feared she would return. The saddest thing was that he was doing this for her.
"Yuki," he said kindly, patiently. "It's Shigure. Akito-san's given me permission to visit you and ask you to come live with me outside of the Honke. Wasn't that kind?"
No answer, though he heard the boy whisper to himself. Those dark words that she had spoken before that incident. He smiled sadly at how much the two were alike right then. But who would heal and grow first?
"Yuki," he continued, allowing his voice to carry over those murmurings, "Akito-san gave me permission to see you and ask you this, but if you do not walk out of this room, there will be nothing I can do. Do you want to come live with me? Or do you want to remain in this darkness?"
He paused, gave the nezumi time to think and decide, but after almost an hour of silence passed, he thought it was much too late.
He turned to leave--
--and was stopped by a grip on his clothes.
"Please..." that young voice tore out of that young throat, raw and broken. "Please don't leave me here. I don't... want to be here anymore."
He closed his eyes. It wasn't too late, after all.
"You have to stand and walk out yourself, Yuki," he replied quietly, "I can't help you there. I will walk behind you, though. To make sure you won't go running back. Fair enough?"
No answer, just a tightened grip on his yukata.
He waited patiently as he listened to the boy slowly stand and carefully made his way to the door. The inu followed, keeping his word as the nezumi flinched and backed up to go back into the darkness as predicted. He smiled when the boy looked at him confusedly.
"Well," he said, clapping his hand on the youth's shoulder and steering him outside. "Let's go see Ha-san about some shade to protect your eyes for a while, ne? It can't be good going from one extreme to another."
It wasn't too late, after all. Not for the nezumi nor for their god.
-
-
Something was making its move. That was the only explanation he had for the things that had been happening one after the other. The same month he'd brought the nezumi to live at his house, a woman had died and the neko had gone to train on the mountains. He hadn't seen the connection between the two until he and the nezumi found a girl on his property--living in a tent while her grandfather's home was renovated. Even then, it had been a mystery until they found out her mother had died four months before. Then he'd been suspicious.
The neko's arrival and the girl's discovery of their true nature sealed the deal. So he'd told her what they truly were.
Of course, he'd been smart. Let her learn what their curse meant, unlike poor Kana who'd went in too far too fast. Plus, he had to report this to his god, unfair as it might have seemed.
That was why he sat there once more, watching her back as she still refused to look at him.
"A girl?" she whispered, hissing out the second word like a curse." You took in an outsider without notifying me?"
"Well," he answered lightly, "we--that is, Yuki and I weren't planning on revealing any information. But then an accident--that is, Kyou--"
"So it was his fault?" she asked quietly, humming thoughtfully. "So the bakemono brought this outsider into our affairs. How...fitting."
He said nothing, his thoughts back at home, at the remembrance of the girl's perpetual smile and how--in such a short amount of time--that smile had influenced the nezumi. Yes, he thought to himself, there was something... that smile had even stirred something within him--almost as if seeing a familiar face after many years of absence. The face had changed but that feeling... it was the same.
He had wanted to weep in relief rather than cry those tears of long he'd felt so long ago.
She knew he was against her initial plan. She was suspicious. "Do I have any worries in that girl?" she questioned.
"None at all," he answered quite truthfully. If she wanted to grow, the girl was of no danger and would probably help the process. "She's merely a guest exposed to a few more secrets."
He listened to her hum in thought.
"She might be of use..." she eventually said, leaning against the wall next to the window. "I wonder... how deep can she go. That first girl Kara--"
"Kana."
"--she couldn't even withstand my judgment. Will this girl be the same...?" She paused for a moment before turning to meet his eyes. "You have an idea you wish to implement?"
He nearly missed his cue because of the sight of her eyes watching him intently. Ever the jester for the court, however, he performed flawlessly. "An experiment more like," he said lightly. "Akito-san... you wouldn't mind if Tohru-kun met with others of the jyuunishi, would you?"
She stared at him for a long moment before beginning to laugh quite charmingly. She stood and walked over to him, a hand reaching out to stroke his dark hair lovingly. "An experiment Is it to reassure me that she is no threat? Oh, Shigure," she sighed, slowly bringing her hand to his shoulder while the other drifted to his opposite. "If only I could trust you as I once did."
The hands were removed, and the sense of longing returned.
"All right," she said, still smiling. "Take in this girl. Take in the neko while you're at it. Have the nezumi and neko live under the same rood as the once-faithful inu and an outsider. Include others if you wish. It should prove to be an amusing experiment, if nothing else."
"Hai, Akito-san," he heard himself say out of habit while part of him once again howled against the phrase 'once faithful.' He made no other comment when he was bade to leave. He only thought of how unforgiving his god was compared to that girl, who seemed to be the opposite of the one who none of the jyuunishi could deny.
-
-
"What did you say to change Akito's mind?"
He smiled around his cigarette, concentrating on the cards in his hand. "Nothing at all," he answered truthfully. "Akito-san seems to understand on some basic level that Tohru-kun can't hurt Akito-san. Funny, really. Because Akito-san's so afraid to grow and Kyou and Yuki seem to be flourishing with her around."
"The same could be said for you," the ryuu replied before lowering a duce of clubs.
"Eh?" he asked, blinking in surprise. "You've noticed?"
The other man made a non-committing sound. "Unlike Akito, I chose to look you in the eye every chance I get just to make sure you have no ill intentions toward this girl--"
"Honda Tohru," he said the name with a fond smile. "She really is quite a girl. Unique." He began to lower a card but stopped. "Did you know she's an orphan? Father died when she was too youing to really remember. Her mother... well, her mother died just this past May in a traffic accident."
Their eyes met over their cars.
His smile became a smirk. "Fickle, isn't she? Miss Fate who we've only just met."
The ryuu made no immediate comment and folded his cards, calmly placing them on the table. "Fate."
The smirk remained on his face. "Our god... the one we long to have an the one we want to have us... and Fate... who shows our paths to god. It's a bit too perfect."
"You're right," the doctor said quite frankly. "You must be wrong."
"Mou... I like my theory!"
"It's too whimsical."
He sing-songed, "As are all fools' ideas!" before lowering his card. The Ace of Spades.
They both paused to look at it atop the duce of clubs.
He gave a small laugh, mussing his hair. "What an ill omen..."
The ryuu didn't reply.
Author's Notes: Okay, yeah. I admit it. This was written back in January 2006... actually, earlier than then. That was when I typed it up and posted it on my LJ, though. Um... so yeah. I haven't read the end of the manga or anything, so I have no idea what happens. The last thing I remember is like... maybe five chapters or so after the OMGSPOILERSSHIGUREANDAKITOWHAT? that happened. So... yeah. That's where this fic came from. I had fun writing this, though:D! So I hope you all enjoyed!
I... uh... dunno when I'll update any of my other fics... because I've been going through some stress and stuff in college and stuff (CONQUER THE FRENCH LANGUAGE, YES!), so yeah. Just in case ya'll were wondering about that... Should probably edit my Bio or something...
Anyway, thanks for reading and I hope you all enjoyed!