Chapter One- Genin exam

"Okay, we'll now start the academy graduation test," Iruka stated, peeing himself with anticipation.

"How troublesome…"

"What about food?!"

"Sasuke-kuuuuun!"

"I like bugs."

"HOW YOUTHFUL!!"

"Lee! You're not even in our class!"

"SHUT UP!" Iruka silenced the interruptions. He was starting to feel unsure about the quality of new genin these days. "Anyway, you'll each perform bunshin no jutsu, Mizuki and I will judge you…Mizuki?" He looked around for the white haired man. He was suddenly struck down by an oversized shuriken.

"Oi! Naruto! Hand over the scroll.'' Mizuki asked politely.

"Eh? What scroll?'' Naruto asked.

"The oversized scroll on your back, dobe." Sasuke said.

"Hey, I didn't notice it,'' Naruto said stupidly, untying the scroll of sealing from his back. The wall suddenly exploded and in came two figures in black and red cloaks. One was a blue fish-man-thing and the other had a dull-looking face and red sharingan eyes.

"Naruto, come with us," the one known as Uchiha Itachi said.

'Hey, why is Naruto more popular than me suddenly?' Sasuke pondered, staring at the two invaders. 'Hey wait a minute… that's Itachi!' Sasuke leaped to his feet, and sped towards Itachi. "RAAAARRGH! I became an emo and turned down 100's of girls for this day Itachi!" Itachi stopped Sasuke between two fingers, then dragged him off to a random corner to give him the 'why are you so weak' speech.

"You handle the jinchuuriki, Kisame" Itachi yelled over his kicking and screaming younger brother.

Said fish-man charged at Naruto with his oversized sword, shredding up random academy students in his way.

"You forgot about me!'' Mizuki pouted like a little girl. "Naruto, give me the scroll or I'll kill you!"

"Just try it…" Naruto formed a hand seal. "Kage bunshin no jutsu!" 50 Narutos appeared in the bloodied up classroom (thanks to Kisame, who was still shredding up academy students).

'How the hell do you know that jutsu?" Mizuki screeched.

"I learned it from the scroll, duh!" Naruto replied.

"But you said you didn't even notice the scroll!!" Mizuki retorted.

"Eh? What scroll" Naruto asked, getting confused again. Mizuki screamed to the heavens and died from exasperation.

"Oh my god! Naruto beat Mizuki-sensei! We'd better get outta here Kisame!" screamed the normally stoic Uchiha. Itachi and Kisame ran away, each with equally pissed pants.

"Mizuki is Itachi's sensei?! How's that possible, he's a freakin' pussy!" yelled Sasuke who had just woken up from the tsukiyomi, and now had Sakura and Ino frantically humping his wounds better. The Naruto clones poofed away.

Iruka's dead body also poofed away, revealing a log. The real Iruka crawled out of a bug hole in Shino's face. "Heh heh, nice hiding spot'' he said. "Anyway, since there are only nine of you left, you all pass!'' he announced after scanning the bloody remains of all the other students.

"Yatta!" Sakura screamed, glomping… Chouji?

"Yeah bitch!" Hinata growled before slapping Naruto on the ass.

"As for teams… the first team will be called team 8-" Iruka started

"Why 8?!"

"Quiet… the team will be Inuzuka Kiba, Hyuuga Hinata and bug-boy."

"I wanna be on Naruto-kun's team!" Hinata wailed and sobbed.

"Iruka-sensei! Akamaru says he smells Anko on you!"

"My bugs don't like them," Shino said monotonously.

" I don't care… team 10 will be pineapple head, the fat guy, and that bandaged up slut next to – errrr… on top of Sasuke"

"We have names!" the slut known as Ino screamed.

"Angrff bfi'm nhhhtf Fslaggt!" Chouji tried to say but his mouth was stuffed with the guts of the dead students he was eating.

"Ewww…" Naruto groaned as a large intestine slipped from Chouji's mouth.

"And finally, team 7 will be the three main characters." Iruka finished, referring to Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto (who was currently avoiding jounin-level taijutsu 'attacks' from Hinata's tongue). "Now as genin, your hardships have only just begun, you will face many adversaries, some of which- arrgghh!" he fell on the ground, Mizuki's shuriken now impaling his head.

"Boring speech…" the thrower of the shuriken, Shikamaru said before getting back to sleep.

Later…

Teams 8 and 10 had already left with their jounin senseis, leaving team 7 waiting for several hours. Suddenly, a masked jounin poofed into the classroom.

"YOU'RE LATE!!" Sasuke screamed. He then blushed realizing he just acted totally OOC. "I mean… hn," he corrected.

"Sorry, I was busy fighting two S-ranked missing nins from Akatsuki who were apparently running away from the academy-"

"Liar!" Iruka yelled before collapsing from his head wound.

"Okay. Meet me at the training grounds tomorrow at dawn. We'll be having a little test. See ya there darlings" Kakashi cooed before blowing them a kiss and poofing away.

"What do we do now?" Naruto groaned. "huh?" Two ropes shot towards them from behind. One of them tied up Sasuke, the other got Naruto. Out of the shadows came… Hinata.

"Thanks Hinata, here's my end of the deal," Sakura said, handing Hinata a bundle of cash. She then shot Sasuke a mischievous smirk, before swishing towards him. Sasuke gulped.

"No sweat Sakura, I still get my prize," Hinata said, eyeing Naruto. Naruto gulped and sweated heavily as Hinata jumped on him and practiced her new 'techniques'. Sakura followed, jumping on Sasuke. Right now Hinata was using anything but gentle fist…

'Man… I just wanted to celebrate graduation with ramen!' Naruto cried in his head.Iruka was right; as a genin he would be facing some major hardships, from enemies and lovers alike…