This is my first Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood fic! I haven't written a fic in about 5 years so I might be a little rusty, If there's any issues, I apologize in advance. I haven't read any of the short stories yet, so any info from there wouldn't be included at all. This fic takes place after Dead In The Family. Don't forget to read&review! Enjoy!
I took a couple deep breaths, preparing myself. I was sitting outside of Fangtasia just before it opened for the evening. Even though I was able to enter through the employees door around back, I was parked out front, purely out of habit. I watched as avid fangbangers and curious tourists joined the line-up, awaiting entrance into the club. They only had to wait a few more minutes as Pam, Eric's second-in-command, pushed the doors open, the train on her long black filmy dress trailing behind her. She stood by the door, checking people's ID and greeting each person before ushering them inside to pay the entrance fee. She flashed each and every person a glimpse of her fangs with an over-the-top and slightly seductive smile. Seeing Pam caused my stomach to lurch slightly. My visit to Fangtasia tonight was more business than pleasure, and I wasn't expecting it to turn out well.
I heaved a sigh and did a quick check in the mirror that my make-up wasn't smudged and my ponytail was still straight. I'd untied it and retied it more times than I could count in the half hour that I'd been waiting for the bar to open. I got out of my car, making sure to lock it before heading to the front door. (I was a stickler for personal security, even in a tense enough moment like this). I could read the slight shock in Pam's face before I'd even reached her.
"Sookie, what a surprise! Was Eric expecting you this evening? He never mentioned anything," she spoke in her slight English accent of long ago. I pasted my nervous smile on my face in an attempt to hide my anxiety. I hoped Pam didn't notice.
"No, Eric wasn't expecting me this evening. This is sort of a surprise visit. Is he here yet?" I asked her. I knew he was close by, but I felt the need to ask the routine question. Pam nodded and allowed me to pass by without another word. She knew I knew where to find him.
I nodded to the anonymous fangbanger standing behind the coat check counter. I'd been given her name so many times, I always felt bad when I couldn't remember it. But she knew who I was, knew I didn't need to stop at her counter. I passed through the bar, nodding at Felicia, Fangtasia's current bartender. At least she'd fared better than past bartenders there. She tried to look busy, tried to avoid my eye. No matter how hard I tried to convince her I had no reason to harm her, she still seemed almost afraid of me. Imagine, a vampire afraid of me!
I pushed my way through the slowly growing crowd to the plain looking door that lead to the supply room and offices in the back, nodding at Maxwell, the vampire selected to guard the door for this evening, as I passed through. He nodded back but didn't stop me. He knew I had every right to be behind that door. It shook me that all these vampires barely even threw me a second glance as I headed for Eric's office. When had I gained so much power in the vampire bar? Oh yes, when Eric had tricked me into becoming his wife. Not in the traditional sense, but in the "vampire-secret-ceremony-with-a-sacred-knife-as-the-vow" kind of thing. That stupid trick still bothered me, even though I loved Eric. The closer I got to him, the more relaxed I felt, and the more annoyed I became with myself. I had come here this evening with a purpose. I didn't want anything stopping me from doing what I was there to do. I reminded myself of why I was there.
I knocked lightly on Eric's office door, even though I knew he'd heard me coming down the hall, knew he smelled me probably as soon as I'd entered the bar, and probably could just sense I was on my way to see him as soon as he'd awoken at full dark. I pushed the door open slowly. Eric was standing behind his desk, his back to the door. He appeared to be reading one of the numerous newspaper clippings that hung on the office walls, all pertaining to Fangtasia or Eric over the years (or centuries in Eric's case). There were only a few regarding vampires in general, and those few were only the most important articles. After a quick glance at the article from where I stood in the doorway, I noticed it was an older article the Shreveport paper had written about Eric's random disappearance and reappearance after the Witch War last year. (The disappearance and reappearance of a prominent business man in the city will always be a big deal, whether vampire or human).I knew he'd read that article several times before and was curious to know why he was studying it now.
"Eric," I said in a quiet voice. He seemed to shake himself awake. He'd been in what I like to call 'vampire downtime' where they just kind of seem to shut off and stare into space. He'd been having more vampire downtime than usual since his maker met his final death a couple months ago. Eric turned around with a smile on his face, his fangs out slightly. He crossed the office in only a few long strides and gathered me in his arms. I breathed in his smell deeply. Most vampires smelled ever so slightly of death, but tonight Eric smelled deliciously of my favourite cologne. He held me tightly for so long, like he seemed afraid to let me go. I was worried he knew why I was there. He finally let me go and stared into my eyes. His eyes were as blue as the ocean. I loved looking into his eyes. I could stay lost in them for hours. I mentally shook myself and prised myself out of Eric's arms. He looked at me a second longer before crossing back over to his chair behind his desk and sat down. I took a seat in the comfortable guest chair opposite him.
"How are you, my wife?" he asked me. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. That term got on my nerves quickly sometimes. Tonight was one of those nights.
"I'm fine Eric. A little annoyed you haven't called me in a week, but still fine," I told him. He looked guilty for a split second.
"I had planned on coming to visit you tonight, after the bar had been opened," he explained. "But, now that you are here, I don't need to." He made coming to see me sound like a chore. I felt my nerve start to slip ever so slightly.
"Look, Eric, I came here to talk to you about something," I said a little too forcefully.
"You are agitated about something," he told me suddenly, as if he hadn't heard me speak.
"Well, yes. Like I said, I came here to speak to you about something. Something very important. And I need to speak my piece before you say anything," I said, my nerves starting to fray more quickly than I figured they would. He nodded, indicating he was shutting up, but not for long. I had to work fast.
"Ever since Appius Livius met his final death, you've seemed distant and very hard to deal with. Your temper is shorter than ever. You seem to be almost moping about. When he died, you seemed grateful, because you were free. This is not what I expected by you being free. And all this emotion, the coldness, the hardness, are trickling down from you to me. And it's affecting my life more than you can understand…" I trailed off, not sure what to say next.
Eric stared at me with cold eyes. "So what you're trying to say is…"
"I think we need to spend some time apart," I rushed to say, practically speaking over Eric. The coldness in his eyes got even colder, his fangs ran out slightly. I could feel the pull of his anger in my soul because of our blood bond. It was killing me to feel crushed at the thought of us splitting up. I anxious for his reaction and the anger I could feel building inside him coursed through me as well. I thought I was going to explode from all of the emotion, mainly anger, building up inside of me through Eric.
Finally he spoke, "You don't want to be with me anymore? Are you saying you no longer love me?" It was a simple enough question, with a simple enough answer so why was I hesitating?
"ANSWER ME!" Eric roared. I jumped at the hatred in his voice. He was pissed. I was expecting this, but I continued despite how scared I was of him at that very moment.
"Eric," I began, tears now starting to trace their way down my face, "I do want to be with you. I do love you. I just feel we need a break. I think I need some time away from the confusion you've had since your maker died and you need to figure out why you feel this way. I don't think what you're feeling is normal, not matter how long you were together. I don't want a break forever, just for a short while. I need a breather," I explained quietly. I was beginning to lose the last bit of strength I had. I got up from my chair. I walked around the desk and held Eric in an awkward hug around his shoulders and kissed the top of his head, letting my hair mix with his for a second. He flinched at my first touch, something I hadn't expected.
"I love you," I whispered into his hair, before I turned to leave. He didn't stop me. As I turned to close the door to his office, I saw bloody tears streaking down his face, his shoulders shaking. It broke my heart into a million pieces. My big, strong Viking who had lived for a thousand years had just had his heart broken by a human.
I hurried my way through the packed bar to the front door. All of a sudden, there was a panic rising in my throat. I needed fresh air, I needed to be outside right now. I shoved my way through the crowds, getting several dirty looks as I made my way through. I didn't care what people thought of me. I finally made it through to the door and ran past Pam.
"Sookie!" she called after me. I stopped in the middle of the parking lot and turned to look at her. I could tell she knew what I had just done. She didn't need to see the pain and anger in my eyes, my tear streaked face.
"Look after him for me, will you? He'll need you," I told her, before turning and running the rest of the way to my car. I managed to unlock it with my eyes blurred over. I drove out of the parking lot quickly, almost hitting a few cars on my way out. I drove a couple blocks before turning into the parking lot of some business that was closed for the night. I turned the car off and let the tears fall even more. I cried and cried for what seemed like hours, pounding the steering wheel at appropriate times. Why did doing what seemed like a good idea hurt my very soul so much?