Written for CCOAC September Challenge

Pairing: Reid/Garcia

Holiday: Blame Someone Else Day

I don't own a thing, just my odd ideas.

Spencer Reid looked at Penelope Garcia in utter confusion.

Spencer jammed his hands into his favorite khaki pants and said, "Garcia how is it possible that it is my fault Morgan got you pregnant?"

Garcia rolled her eyes and said, "Trust me boy wonder it is indeed your fault."

Spencer's eyebrows knitted in confusion as he tried to make sense of Penelope Garcia's most ridiculous statement to date, which for the colorful technical genius, was really saying something.

Spencer tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear and asked, "Please explain this to me?"

Penelope sat across from Spencer, not paying attention to his facial expressions, because if she had, surely she would have burst out laughing.

Penelope fiddled with the remote control making sure the photos were loading on the screen so she could start the briefing when the rest of the BAU members arrived.

Penelope said, "Spencer it was you who insisted we go to dinner about nine weeks ago am I correct?"

Spencer sat up a little straighter hoping he would get some insight into this woman's insane logic.

Spencer said, "Well sure, but we do things like that all the time."

Penelope was shuffling through a stack of folders when she said, "It was also you, my wonderful gray heap of matter that said we should go out for a drink."

Spencer nodded in the affirmative, but then said, "How does me suggesting that we get a drink, with a heavy emphasis on a, meaning one drink, result in you and Morgan fornicating?"

Penelope looked at Reid and said, "Spencer you were the catalyst."

Spencer huffed and said, "I still don't understand. I made two simple suggestions; in no way shape or form am I the reason why within a nine month gestation period you will be having a child with your best friend."

Penelope stood up slowly, ignoring Spencer's protests and said, "So you Dr. Spencer Reid are entirely at fault for this."

Spencer opened his mouth to rebuttal when he saw Agent Morgan walk into the conference room.

Derek tossed Spencer a stack of papers and said, "You need to sign these pretty boy."

Spencer quickly scanned the pages and said, "I will most certainly not pay either of you child support."

Derek said, "Since it is your fault that technical analyst Garcia is pregnant, I think you should pay up."

Spencer threw his hands up in the air and said, "This is ludicrous. I am not paying for something that isn't my fault."

Derek folded his arms across his chest and said, "So it wasn't you that suggested I dance with Garcia?"

Spencer said, "Y...Yes. I suppose I did encourage you to dance with Penelope. But I didn't tell you to have coitus with her. I figured you would leave with someone else."

Garcia whipped her head away from the large monitor mounted on the wall. She placed her hands on her hips and asked, "Spencer you don't think I am good enough for agent Morgan?"

Spencer replied, "N...No that…that is not what I meant."

Derek narrowed his eyes and asked, "So you are saying I am not good enough for Garcia?"

Spencer sighed. At that moment he wished he would have stayed in bed. His two friends were now taking everything he said, the wrong way.

Spencer said, "Now you guys are putting words in my mouth. What I meant was." Spencer took a deep breath, and hoped he wasn't sticking his foot in his mouth any further.

Spencer stated again, "What I meant was, how was I suppose to know that, approximately nine weeks ago, you Derek Morgan would pull your head out of your ass and make a move on Garcia?"

Derek and Penelope stood in stunned silence. Spencer sat down with a smug grin on his face. He took a sip of his sugar with a little bit of coffee in it. He would have shaken his fist in victory, if he knew what the hell just happened.

Penelope broke the silence first by saying, "Doesn't matter what you thought. Me being pregnant is in fact your fault. Just deal with it."

Spencer dropped his head on the table. He groaned not in pain, but in sheer frustration. Spencer was never one to back down from a verbal sparring, but with Morgan and Garcia coming after him, he would rather just stay quiet.

Hotch strolled in the room and said, "Good morning everyone. The rest of the team will be in soon."

Hotch looked over in Spencer's direction and asked, "What did you two do to him?"

Penelope gasped in mock indignation. Then she asked, "What makes you think we did anything to him? I was simply explaining to the good doctor that it is his entire fault that I am pregnant."

Spencer lifted his head to watch Hotch's reaction. Spencer smiled inwardly knowing Hotch would find this whole thing idiotic.

Hotch shrugged and asked, "Garcia are you sure about that?"

Penelope smiled and said, "Yes sir. Spencer Reid is absolutely the reason that Derek and I are having a baby."

Spencer thought with that small amount of clarity, Hotch would knock some sense into the both of them."

Instead Hotch said, "Fine. Reid I hope you are prepared to take care of your responsibilities in this."

Spencer looked around and asked, "Come on guys this isn't funny. Where are the hidden cameras?"

Penelope said, "No hidden cameras, just the truth. You are just as responsible, if not more so, for me being pregnant. I hope you are prepared to help raise this baby."

Spencer scoffed and said, "I will not."

Penelope said, "If you do that, then how will this baby know you are the reason for its existence?"

Reid growled in frustration. He snatched a case file from the middle of the table and began reading it.

Next Rossi and JJ walked in.

Spencer breathed a sigh of relief. Surely JJ would see how moronic this whole thing was.

Spencer's face fell when he heard JJ say, "Rossi I am telling you, it is Spencer's fault that she is pregnant."

Agent Prentiss was the last to show up. She hurried to place her things down, and grab the last available chair.

Prentiss asked, "So what'd I miss?"

Penelope smiled and said, "It is Spencer's fault that I am pregnant."

Prentiss said, "Well okay then. Do we have a case?"

Spencer exploded.

"Emily what in the hell do you mean, well okay then? No okay then. There is in no way, that Penelope being pregnant is my doing."

Emily shot back, "Of course it is."

Spencer said, "You people are trying to drive me crazy, haven't I suffered enough?"

Rossi said, "Son you aren't suffering. We're celebrating."

Spencer loudly said, "Huh?"

Penelope reached into her large hobo bag, and produced cupcakes.

Penelope clapped and said, "Happy Blame Someone Else Day."

Spencer stayed quiet.

Penelope ruffled Spencer's hair and said, "Spencer I'm sorry, but you were such an easy target."

Morgan grinned and said, "Reid next time you give someone dating advice, make sure they haven't already been dating said woman for more than six months."

Spencer in disbelief said, "Six months?!"

Everyone ignored Spencer's obvious ignorance.

Penelope presented the case to the team.

Hotch closed the brown folder in front of him and said, "Wheels up in 40."

The team busied themselves with packing briefcases, stacking files, grabbing their tablets, and speculating about the Unsub.

Each member left one by one, until it was only Penelope, Derek, and Spencer left.

Spencer rooted around in his messenger back. He plopped down a yellow ticket in front of Morgan and said, "You owe me 200 bucks for this parking ticket."

Derek chuckled and said, "I ain't payin that."

Spencer firmly said, "You can, and you will."

Derek sighed and said, "Yeah whatever."

Derek handed Penelope his credit card, and said, "Baby pay it online for me."

Penelope smiled and said, "Sure thing sweet cheeks."

The three of them walked out of the conference room and into the bull pen.

Hotch was explaining to Prentiss why it was her fault that Jack stayed up late even though she was nowhere near Aaron's apartment that night. JJ was explaining to Rossi how it was his fault Henry won't eat his peas.

Erin Strauss walked out of her office and loudly asked, "What in the hell is going on down there?"

She rubbed her temples and said, "You people are going to drive me to drink."

Derek yelled, "Party in Strauss' office."

Erin narrowed her eyes and said, "Agent Morgan."

Derek looked up and said, "Yes ma'am."

Erin coldly said "Run."

Derek turned to run, but decided he would take advantage of the holiday. He quickly walked to Rossi and said, "Tag. You're it."

Rossi took one look at Strauss and hauled ass out of the F.B.I building, to the airstrip to wait on the rest of his team.

Rossi leaned against the SUV stomping on cans and tossing them into a nearby recycling bin, while biting into a blueberry Popsicle.

He tried to figure out what he was going to do for Fight Procrastination Day. Whatever it was would just have to wait.

FIN.

I hoped you liked it.

As always read and review!

Thanks to evgrrl09 for reading this for me.