The Slow Torture of Betrayal
A/N: I was reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, there was a point in it where Harry and Lupin are talking about Dementors and Harry mentions Sirius Black at which point Lupin almost drops his briefcase. That scene inspired me to write this oneshot fic of when Remus found out about what had happened in Godric's Hollow and the fallout from that. I may follow this up with a fic from Lupin's point of view about Sirius's escape from Azkaban and coming to know Harry when he's appointed as the DADA teacher at Hogwarts.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, they all belong to JK Rowling.
The Slow Torture of Betrayal
Remus Lupin was stirring a bubbling potion when the doorbell rang. He pointed his wand at the flames underneath the cauldron and they dimmed. Walking to the door he wiped his hands on his shabby robes. He opened the door and found he had his wand pointed at a tall, older man with long white hair and beard.
"What happened the year I started at Hogwarts?" Remus quizzed the older man.
"We planted the Whomping Willow so your werewolf transformations could take place in the safety of the Shrieking Shack." Dumbledore replied politely.
"Welcome Albus," Remus said and gave the man a brief hug. "Please come in."
Remus gestured Dumbledore inside the house and smiled at him, the aged wizard did not return the smile. In fact, he looked unusually solemn and Remus's grin failed.
"Is there somewhere that we might sit down and talk?" He asked Remus gravely.
The younger man gestured Dumbledore into a sitting room and took a seat across from him. Fear was now evident on his face, he knew that something terrible had happened, but he could not think what.
"I'm afraid that I come bearing news of the worst kind," Dumbledore was saying. "I have to tell you, Remus. Lily, James and Peter are all dead."
"NOOOOOOO!" There was an anguished howl of pain from the young, tired looking man sitting on the sofa. "No, it can't be true."
"I'm afraid it is Remus." Dumbledore's voice had become almost a whisper as he struggled with bearing the bad news.
"But, it's not possible. The Fidelius Charm. It can't be broken unless...unless...and Peter, what could have happened to..." Remus paused, tears were running down his face, "Albus, what happened?"
"Sirius was their Secret Keeper." Dumbledore stated matter of factly.
"No. It's not true. I know it's not. You were their Secret Keeper, you're mine, you were the Secret Keeper for all of us." Remus shook his head, he knew this could not have happened.
"It's true, Remus. I'm sorry." The older man's eyes were glistening with unshed tears.
Remus knew his friends could not be dead and if it had happened as Dumbledore seemed to be suggesting then this truly was unimaginable. He had to know what happened, every detail.
"Tell me what you know." He pleaded, knowing that each word Dumbledore uttered would slash at his heart with the fierceness of a knife.
"Voldemort showed up in Godric's Hollow, he killed Lily and James then-"
"Harry." Remus whimpered, "he killed baby Harry?" his voice sounded plaintive, he wanted desperately for this to all be a bad dream.
"A small ray of sunlight in this dismal day, Remus." Dumbledore told him gently, "when Voldemort tried to kill Harry, his powers broke. Harry is alive, Remus."
"Where is he?" Remus asked, the survival of his closest friends' baby after their death felt like a bandaid on a wound too large to be healed.
"I've taken him to his Aunt and Uncle's. Lily gave her life for her son, this also gave a very powerful protection to Harry. He'll be safe there." Dumbledore informed him.
"I still don't understand how Voldemort found them, if Sirius was their Secret Keeper that means that he..." Remus couldn't finish this sentence. He closed his eyes to try and shut out the hurt, the betrayal, but he couldn't stop himself from hearing Dumbledore's voice giving him the hard facts.
"Sirius was working for Voldemort. After he became their Secret Keeper he gave them up. Peter found out and he went after him." There was a harshness in Dumbledore's voice that Remus had never heard there before. "Sirius killed Peter and twelve Muggles. They've taken him to Azkaban without trial."
The world broke around Remus. In the last ten minutes he had lost everything that was precious to him. His friendship with James, Peter and Sirius had meant so much in the last decade. They had met at a time when Remus was used to being an outsider, yet they included him, never judged him. Their friendship meant the world to him and now it was all gone. James, his wife Lily and Peter were all dead and yet it was Sirius's betrayal that tortured him more than anything. When Voldemort started hunting them there was always the chance that the evil wizard would break through their protections to get to them, but for them to fall at the hands of such treachery was devastating.
He wished more than anything that it wouldn't be true, but Remus knew with a certain finality that it was. He gave in to wracking sobs and cried for everything that he had, everything that was lost, the future his friends should have had and the baby that was left behind. He wept for the wizarding and Muggle worlds, for the good and the bad that had come from this. He cried for a long time after Dumbledore had left him.
The process of living his life became a cruel torture as he was reminded daily of the painful loss he had experienced. In time the wounds began to heal, but it was years before he could look at a picture of James, Lily or Peter without feeling as though, once again, his heart was being ripped to shreds. He never looked at pictures of Sirius, the betrayal was still far too raw and painful. He doubted that he would ever be able to forgive Sirius for what he had done. In fact, it was twelve years before Remus again saw a picture of the man who had so tragically affected his life.
A/N: Please read and review, I'd love to get people's feedback on this one and please let me know if you'd be interested in a follow-up fic.