Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except my character. And her SIR unit. And that other SIR unit she found. But other than that, I don't own anything.
I was a defect. I grew up hearing that fact whispered behind my PAK everyday (sometimes so loudly it was like they wanted me to hear it). "There goes the girl with the feelings." They said, saying 'feelings' like it was a disgusting word it hurt to say. Not only did I have feelings, but I was tall-taller than the usual Irkens, but not as tall as the Tallests. I wish I was as tall as the Tallests. Not to rule, just because if you're small, you're normal. If you're as tall as the Tallests, you're beautiful. Sadly, if you're in between, you're just a defect. The Tallests aren't defects, though. Strange monarchy we have. Since I was tall, I wasn't the most graceful Irken around. I was only allowed to live because I was smart. I wasn't exceptionally smart, just a little quicker than the average Irken.
It all started when I was working on a certain ship-a ship for the new Invader for Earth. I'd heard stories of Zim, the old Invader of Earth, and Tak, the maid on Dirt who went chasing after Zim, supposedly failed miserably, and was never heard from again. Anyway, the autopilot was messed up, so I was looking at it. I was getting up to stretch when I hit my head on the windshield. Timing was never on my side, and it didn't plan to change now. In the same fraction of a second, a short Irken ran into my ladder. I fell in the cockpit, upside-down and unconscious. Now if you'll excuse my interruption, I need to explain something.
I've always been jealous of Invaders' SIRs, since I was a smeet. I built one myself and now she is well known around the Massive. Being my size, I never saw eye to eye with anyone (literally!), so I made her as tall as me. Of course, I've grown a little since then. She's always had a dent in her head, causing several glitches and a faulty memory. If I remember correctly, it happened like this:
Flashback An Irken teacher walks up to a young Irken. "What are you working on, dear?" the teacher asks. "My own SIR unit. I think I'll call her…R.E.L." the young Irken says proudly, lifting the robot slightly off the table. "Good job." The teacher praised her, walking off. A short, bulky Irken and two of his tough looking friends approach the little girl. "Teacher's pet," he scoffed, knocking the robot out of her hands. The group snickers as they march off. "Oh, you're broken!" the girl says, picking up the robot and inspecting it. She returns to her seat and grabs a screwdriver. End Flashback
Anyway, she went looking for me. Someone directed her to my work station and she jumped into the ship without seeing me. She accidentally pressed a button, starting the dysfunctional autopilot. There was barely an inch of extra space with both of us in there, but we fit. Hardly. R.E.L. sprayed Irken soda on my face to wake me (I hate Irken water. It's red and it's what gives Irkens their bloodlust).
Slowly regaining consciousness, I promptly asked where I was. After hearing her reply, I freaked. I never was good under pressure. I pressed random buttons until I calmed down. This is what put us in hyperspace, which put us in a wormhole. When we were done screaming (which was about ten minutes after we stopped) I realized we only had enough power to drift to our destination.
The asteroids we'd hit earlier had knocked off our boosters, so we were destined to crash. In slow motion. Great. Just wonderful. I looked around. There was an Invader Kit hanging next to the windshield. A little SIR lay inside, motionless. "Oooh!" I shrieked, excited. "Let's get her a disguise. Ship, look up the planet we're headed for." I commanded. After looking at Earth's 'pets', I decided to disguise the SIR as an Italian Greyhound-the second we knocked into another stupid asteroid. She was knocked to the floor. "Is she okay?" I asked R.E.L., who shrugged. The new SIR barked. "SIR? Speak to us." I ordered, a little concerned. Her only response was to bark again. She was stuck as a dog. "Aw, let's name it Nelly!" R.E.L suggested happily. "Fine." I replied.
I realized the SIRs wouldn't be harmed from the crash, but I might. I would have to do a rare, delicate procedure. "What 'cha doin'?" R.E.L. asked. "I have to put my PAK on my inside so it won't be hurt in the crash. This means I won't remember being Irken, only human. You'll have to remind me or I'll think I'm a human and we won't get home." I said seriously. "Okies!" I did the Irken equivalent of rolling my eyes.
"R.E.L, you're too tall to be a pet. According to the ship, you're about the size of a …19 year old human. I'm 20." I informed her. "But I wanna be older!" she screeched. "Erg. Fine, whatever." I said, annoyed. I ripped out a piece of machinery that didn't look important and started turning it into some kind of disguise mechanism. I looked in the kit again. I grabbed the disguise technology and activated it, hoping it would be acceptable. I was running out of time.
I hurriedly pressed the button and we transformed into…-insert slow motion crash noises here-.
A/N: Woo! Finished that in an hour! It's no wonder I rarely drink water and always drink soda... I wrote most of this in a notebook and typed it up, but I wrote the flashback and most of the end recently, while I was SERIOUSLY hyper, so if I freak you out there, sorry. I ate popsicles. Those are like a hyper-hazard for me. My sister said I was so hyper, it was scary. Woo!