DOMINICK COBB – An Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You are now the proud owner of a fully-functioning DOMINICK COBB unit, or a COBB unit for short! Please read the enclosed manual for all the information you need on owning and caring for your talented, yet haunted Extractor unit; along with the necessary information on how to maintain your COBB unit, this manual contains a section for Questions as well.
Basic Information:
Full Name: Dominick Cobb
Date of Manufacture: July 16, 1975
Place of Manufacture: Los Angeles, California
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Height: 6'
Every COBB unit comes with the following items and accessories:
1 silver pewter spinning top
1 fancy black tuxedo
1 navy blue jacket
1 blue button up shirt
1 pair of dark blue slacks
1 pair of brown shoes
1 handgun (silencer included)
1 Portable Automated Somnacin IntraVenous, or PASIV case
1 container of hair-gel
1 wedding ring (see the Questions section below about issues pertaining to this item)
*the Winter Assault pack is regrettably not included with your default COBB unit, but you are able to preorder one online at our website.
IMPORTANT!
To make sure that your COBB unit is capable of functioning properly, please consider the following conditions:
Your COBB unit will prefer to live in a small yet comfortable home. Your COBB unit is instinctively used to temporary living quarters, such as apartments and hotel rooms. Though, he will be fond of quaint little homes where he can look forward to spending time with the JAMES and PHILIPPA units. However, you must keep your COBB unit away from windows, due to an unfortunate incident involving the MAL unit.
In no circumstances must you place your COBB unit near a train or a set of train tracks, unless absolutely necessary, or if he is stuck in the Limbo state with the MAL unit.
Skills that your COBB unit possesses:
Shooting: You may find your COBB unit to be an excellent shot; he has shown to be most compatible with a handgun equipped with a silencer and a sniper rifle. He is very prone to scoring headshots, so if you choose to try and beat him in a round of CoD (that is, if you manage to convince him to even play the game, as it might not necessarily be his cup of tea), be prepared to lose horribly.
Utilizing Deceptive Gambits: Your COBB unit is extremely talented at lying and deceiving others in the way he sees fit. He will use his wit and extensive field research and knowledge (thanks to the ARTHUR and EAMES units) to construct the perfect ruse to steal information from the SAITO or FISCHER JR. units. There is a skill that calls for his specialty in this area that is also commonly referred to as the "Mr. Charles Gambit."
Running: Your COBB unit is in exceptional physical state, demonstrated by his impressive running abilities. This comes in handy in evading capture from COBOL HENCHMEN units and collapsing Japanese fortresses.
Default programmed modes that are included with your COBB unit:
Professional Thief: This is perhaps the mode that comes most naturally to your COBB unit, along with the Haunted Widower mode. This is the mode that your COBB unit will assume when he's in a lucid dream state and is trying to gain information on a Mark, be it a SAITO unit or a FISCHER JR. unit. During this mode, he will be focused, polite, and professional as he uses his wits to steal the secrets the Mark holds. If necessary, however, your COBB unit will resort to interrogation methods such as threatening at gunpoint for information. He will not hesitate to kill you to make you exit a jeopardized dream state, so do not take it personally if you find him pointing a gun at you in dire times. Also, please note that this is the state where your COBB unit works best with the ARIADNE, ARTHUR, EAMES, YUSUF, and SAITO units; he will react a little more harshly towards the FISCHER JR. and SAITO units, as well as the NASH unit, if they oppose him. A little cooperation might help your COBB unit to open up to the aforementioned units.
Haunted Widower: This is probably the second mode that comes most naturally to your COBB unit, along with the Professional Thief mode. If your COBB unit is found in this state, he will act somber, distant, and will constantly spin the spinning top with a handgun on his person. This is due to lasting feelings of grief towards the tragic loss of the MAL unit, if he has been a witness to her expiration; if the top keeps spinning, he will shoot himself in an attempt to escape what he may think is a dream. Please note that he will slip into this mode whenever he is found to be in the presence of trains, the Limbo state, or in the presence of a MAL unit herself. The best way to snap your COBB unit out of this state is to convince him to let go of the MAL unit with the aid of an ARIADNE unit, and then to expose him to the JAMES and PHILIPPA units after prolonged periods of time. Your MILES unit may also prove to be helpful in getting over his issues.
Teacher: Quite simply put, your COBB unit is very capable of teaching those new to the world of dreams on how to properly dream share. He will teach you all of the basics, from Architecture to projections. However, if you prove to anger his subconscious' projections rather quickly (ahem, ARIADNE…) then you will suffer a painful death, most probably at the hands of the MAL unit. If this happens, your COBB unit might switch into the Haunted Widower mode, so tread this area carefully.
Loving Husband: This is the mode that your COBB unit will assume if in the presence of a properly functioning MAL unit in the Limbo state. He will show himself to be, as the name of the mode suggests, a loving and doting husband, and will display tender signs of love towards his wife. Expect a lot of snuggling, hugging, smiling, and affectionate kisses to be exchanged between the COBB and MAL units. Through some persuasion and patience, however, you may be able to direct some of these feelings towards you! Though we strongly advise against it if he is still mourning over or has just gotten over the MAL unit's death.
Loving Father: This mode is quite similar to the aforementioned Loving Husband mode; your COBB unit will display signs of undying care and affection towards the JAMES and PHILIPPA units. He will go through hell and back to be with these two units, and you'd better move out of the way if you're between him and them. It is not strange to find yourself squeeing and "aww"ing if you see your COBB unit hugging and spending time with the JAMES and PHILIPPA units.
General Maintenance:
Feeding: Your COBB unit is quite capable of feeding himself, and is not necessarily a picky eater. But feel free to cook him meals, as he will surely appreciate it. He often fasts more than feasts though, so he might get a bit antsy at banquets of any sort.
Cleaning: Your COBB unit is also capable of cleaning and grooming himself, much to the chagrin of many female owners who have mailed us about this. Reluctantly, we have released an update that allows the COBB unit to allow his owners to help clean and groom him, though through great persuasion. If it makes the angry letters stop, then we'll comply.
Sleep Mode: Your COBB unit may not sleep like you would expect a human being to. He spends about half of his time in a shared dream state, so he doesn't find much use for sleeping at night if he gets his rest while dream sharing. This is not abnormal behavior, only the contrary.
The Limbo State:
Now, here's some vital information. If your COBB unit is interacting with a MAL unit for prolonged periods of time, it is quite possible that they will enter Limbo. During this state, they will both remain in Sleep Mode for an entire night. It is not possible to follow them in there. When they wake up, and if they are both acting strangely to the point you worry for one or both of the units' safety, please contact us ASAP. We suspect that a botched inception at the hands of your COBB unit might have made the MAL unit go batshit insane. It is VERY important that you put a stop to the MAL unit's suicidal tendencies at once.
Relations with Other Units:
MALLORIE COBB: Your COBB unit is very uneasy around the MAL unit, seeing as how most of the time they interact she will activate her Haunting Wife mode. He will try to speak to her in a way that might sound like he is trying to bring her back to her old self. He will often become grave in her presence, and will constantly be in denial about his issues with her. With the help of an ARIADNE unit, however, your COBB unit may be able to accept the MAL unit's death and will let go of his grief.
ARTHUR: The ARTHUR unit is your COBB unit's right hand man; he is always there for him and will remain loyal to him no matter what. The ARTHUR unit may question your COBB unit at times, but he knows better than to oppose him. The ARTHUR unit will stick through with your COBB unit through the best and the worst. A vital companion to your COBB unit, if we do say so ourselves.
ARIADNE: Your COBB unit serves as an effective mentor towards the ARIADNE unit. He will teach her the basics of dream sharing, though his teaching methods may put the ARIADNE unit at unease. Though, on the other hand, the ARIADNE counterbalances this and poses as an equally effective therapist for your COBB unit. Her advice and methods, no matter how unorthodox they may be, will help pull your COBB unit out of his depression over the MAL unit's death.
EAMES: The EAMES unit is one of your COBB unit's closest friends and colleagues. They work together well without any problems. The EAMES unit is also very willing to give advice to your COBB unit about how to correctly carry out an inception. Overall, the EAMES unit is a valuable companion to your COBB unit.
YUSUF: Your COBB unit is good friends and acquaintances with the YUSUF unit. They work together well, and have no problems. They trust each other without a problem, seeing as how the YUSUF unit is your COBB unit's go-to for Somnacin.
SAITO: At first, your COBB unit may react with a bit of hostility towards the SAITO unit. However, once the SAITO unit becomes properly acquainted with your COBB unit, they become understanding allies and good friends. If the SAITO unit becomes injured, your COBB unit will do everything he can to make sure the SAITO unit gets through alright. Their alliance is understandable, since the SAITO unit is important in helping your COBB unit reunite with the JAMES and PHILIPPA units. Then there's also the fact that your COBB unit is important in helping the SAITO unit rise to economic power. So, in layman's terms, they have a sort of "scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" relationship.
ROBERT FISCHER JR.: At first, your COBB unit will interact with the FISCHER JR. unit with "professional hostility", as we like to call it. Due to the circumstances of their meeting, your COBB unit will treat the FISCHER JR. unit as a Mark, no more and no less. However, if your COBB unit continues to deceive him along the inception, they will grow an unsteady alliance. The FISCHER JR. unit will start to trust your COBB unit, who will use that trust to continue to deceive him. Do not interrupt this connection between them; if your COBB unit is successful, he will sever all ties with the FISCHER JR. unit without any harm between the two.
JAMES COBB and PHILIPPA COBB: Your COBB unit will react wonderfully with the JAMES and PHILIPPA units. He will dote on them and will do anything within his power to be with them. They are his main motivation and are what keeps him in the dream sharing business. Do not purposefully separate these three units.
STEPHEN MILES: The MILES unit and your COBB unit have a relatively good relationship, though the MILES unit may express constant exasperation at your COBB unit's failed attempts to father his children. Though, the MILES unit is willing to help your COBB unit reunite with the JAMES and PHILIPPA units.
NASH: Your COBB unit is fully aware of the slight incompetence the NASH unit holds, and will not express sorrow if the NASH unit is eliminated by the SAITO unit.
COBOL HENCHMEN: Your COBB unit hates them. With a fiery passion. He will either evade their attempts to capture him, or incapacitate them. Do not let them interact, unless you want to see your COBB unit kick some ass.
Questions:
Q: When my COBB unit is in a dream state, he's wearing a wedding ring. When he's awake, it's gone. What's happening? And, if possible, is there a way to get rid of the ring permanently?
A: Do not fret; this is normal. Your COBB unit's wedding ring is in fact his totem; when he's wearing it while he's dreaming, he knows everything isn't real. So, when you see him awake and moving about without it, he knows he is in reality. And no, there is no actual way to get rid of it permanently. Sorry.
Q: Wait, if his wedding ring is his totem, then what is the spinning top?
A: The spinning top is the MAL unit's totem; your COBB unit keeps it with him as a memento of his late wife. Do not take it from him, and do not touch it.
Q: Can I get rid of/take the spinning top, if the wedding ring is already his totem?
A:…Did you not read the above questions?
Q: I feel like my COBB unit should move on, so I'm trying to get him to hook up with my ARIADNE unit. So far, they aren't doing anything even remotely romantic! What gives?
A: Your COBB unit may not have gotten over the loss of a MAL unit yet. Help him through that, and he maaaaaaaaay, by a slim chance, find a romantic interest in your ARIADNE unit. This is highly unlikely though; your COBB unit may be too preoccupied with reuniting with the JAMES and PHILIPPA units, so a romance with anyone might take a while to develop. Never fear; if you want your ARIADNE unit to develop a romance, try the ARTHUR unit.
Q: Is there any way to stop my COBB unit from threatening to shoot his frakkin' brains out when he starts checking the spinning top?
A: What are you implying? Are you requesting an alternate method for your COBB unit to exit his dream? Well, shooting his frakkin' brains out is a quick and easy way for him to do so, no matter how gruesome it may be. Although, you are free to try and convince him to lie down in front of a train (it probably won't work). But do not suggest jumping out of a window.
Q: My COBB unit keeps spouting something about being a US Federal Marshal. Care to explain?
A: Oooh…yeah, about that, are you sure you didn't order a TEDDY DANIELS unit from the Shutter Island unit set? We don't blame you if you did; the COBB unit and the TEDDY unit are remarkably similar. Just send it back and you'll get a full refund, along with a complementary gift card for our website's store, where you can buy plenty of accessories for your Inception units.
Q: Every time I apply some hair gel to my COBB unit's hair, he returns home with it all mussed up and Jack Dawson-like after a job. Do you have any stronger hair products?
A: Well…why don't you just apply some more hair product? We're a unit supplier, not a hair salon.
Thank you for consulting this Owner's Guide and Maintenance Manual to your brand new DOMINICK COBB unit! We appreciate doing business with you, and we hope you have a wonderful time with your COBB unit!
Based on the Owner's Guide series by the author known as Theresa Green, here was I think the first Inception Owner's Guide! I might do some more, since this was so much fun to write. Hoped you enjoyed!
To those concerned, I apologize for the fact that I deleted my Batman Begins fic. I might start it again later, but I don't feel too devoted to it. As I must reiterate, I am very sorry. And it appears my muse for my Scott Pilgrim fic has taken a walk, so I'm building that one back up again. Sorry for that too. :/