Magical Pup Pretty Sammi!
An Invader Zim Fanfiction by KidKourage
And Then There Were SevenThis story marks the addition to my family of a brand new sister! She's short, furry, and tan, and has a little stub of a tail that fairly vibrates when she catches sight of a friend. Needless to say, my sister is a dog. Her name is Sammi, she's a cocker spaniel, and she is crazy. But I'll let the story tell you all about that, okay? I own nothing in this story except KidK and Sammi, and I only own one-fourth of Sammi. Hmmmm, I wonder which fourth….
The scene is KidK's house, on February 17, 2002! Skool is back in session for KidK, but that's OK because it's a weekend. The house is relatively quiet, since KidK's Dad is out trying to buy a new Jethro Tull CD that no one else even knew was coming out, and KidK's Mom is busy making a wholesome dinner of beef roast, potatoes, and wonderful Pillsbury Crusty French rolls (their mascot may be evil, but they sure make good baked products). You didn't need all that detail, did you? Or maybe you did… In any case, the other four members of the household are gathered in KidK's room. Gir is on the bed messing with his (well, they're certainly not KidK's anymore) action figures, while KidK, Mike, and Zim are sitting around a hastily erected card table working assiduously on a project that at least two of them shouldn't even be concerning themselves with.
KidK: Are you almost finished with the page about the fight scene, Mike?
Mike-the-Brother: Yeah, I just need to put a few last lines in Aeka—I mean Mercutio's sword.
KidK: Well, hurry up, because I'm almost done coloring the wedding page, and I don't wanna be sitting here doing nothing.
Zim: You could take over with the inking. In fact, why don't you do that? There are so many better things I could be doing.
Mike-the-Brother: Hold your horses! I've got the hardest job, here!
KidK: Well, you didn't expect us to do all the work for you, did you? Mister 'Oh-Sure-Teacher-I'll-Make-a-Comic-Book-for-My-Project.' And now it's going to be due in two days and you're not even half done!
Mike-the-Brother: Yes I am! All I had to do was do a detailed rendition of a single scene and a summary of the rest. The Capulet Ball is the detailed one, and I'm already finished that! So all that's left is the summary pages with just a couple text-heavy panels each.
KidK: But still! You could be more grateful. Especially to Zim, since he really does have more important things to do.
Zim: Yes, especially to me. When this is all over I'm going to have a list of favors that you must do for me, Mike-pig.
Mike-the-Brother: But Zim! I'm doing you a favor by letting you help!
Zim (suspiciously): In what way?
Mike-the-Brother: Well, who else has ever thought to rewrite 'Romeo and Juliet' with Tenchi Muyô! characters and then make a comic book of it? It's a first, and therefore it's really special! So by doing all this inking work, you're becoming a part of something that will go down in history—no, legend—as the most spectacular comic that has ever been created! Now pay attention to what you're doing, or you'll screw up the lines on Mihoshi-Juliet's wedding dress. And KidK worked so hard to get the colors just right.
KidK: Darn right I did! I want you to get a perfect score on this thing. Remember, Zim, don't ink the lines of her veil…that'll make it more translucent-looking.
Gir (looking up from the figures): Miho-chan's gettin' married? I wanna seeeeeeee! (he jumps on the table and starts grabbing at the page Zim's working on)
Zim (holding the paper over his head): No, Gir! Do not ruin our hard work! Someday all the human worm-babies will look at this comic book and say, 'Our illustrious ruler inked that! Let us worship the paper it is printed on!' and I don't need you wrinkling it!
Gir: But I wanna see Mihoshi's wedding dress!
Mike-the-Brother (picking up a Tenchi graphic novel): Then read this book, Gir. I mostly copied the dress from a story in there, okay? Just don't bend the pages!
Gir (seizing the book): Yay! I'm gonna read it to all my friends! Listen up, Hexadecimal, Bulma, James, and Venus!
Mike-the-Brother: Phew! That was close. (he thrusts a page of drawings at KidK) Here, sis, get to work.
KidK: Yay, more to color! Members of the royal family get green and purple clothes, right?
Mike-the-Brother: Right, to balance out the red-based Capulets and the blue-based Montagues.
KidK's Dad (in the doorway): How about a brown-based puppy?
Mike-the-Brother (not looking up): Oh, yeah, Dad, very funny. You know we'll never get another dog.
KidK (likewise): Yeah, Mom may say she wants one, but—
Gir: Lookie! It's a puppy! Hello, little puppy!
Mike-the-Brother (lifting his eyes from his work): Gir, don't encourage…wow! It really is a puppy!
Our three comic book artists look up to see KidK's Dad, but, more importantly, to see the little tan ball of fluff wiggling excitedly inside his coat. KidK, in typical KidK fashion, squees with joy and leaps up from her chair to greet the tiny puppy.
KidK: Oh, Dad, she's perfect! A cocker! I never thought we'd ever have a dog again!
Mike-the-Brother: And especially not another cocker.
KidK (fawning over the puppy): Helloooooo, sweetie!
KidK's Dad: Well, your mother and I decided that, well, we like cockers.
KidK: Me too! Is she really ours to keep, Dad?
KidK's Dad: I think so.
KidK (stepping back): Oh, don't tell me you didn't tell Mom!
KidK's Dad: She'll understand…probably…
Gir: I wanna see the puppy!
KidK: Here, lemme take her. (she carefully takes the dog from her father and sits down on the bed next to Gir) Be gentle, Gir. She's really little, so you hafta pet her softly.
Gir: Okay. (he pats the puppy quite sweetly, and is rewarded with a lick on his hand) Oooo, she loves me! What's her name, Missy?
Mike-the-Brother: Oh, no. No way is KidK naming this one. Dad, you and Mom named every dog you had before I was born, and KidK named Cassie, so…(vehemently)…it's my turn!
KidK: Okay, okay, Mike. Here, name her! (she transfers the dog to her brother's arms)
Mike-the-Brother (regarding the squirming puppy critically): Hmmm, let's see…well, you're cute enough, and you're little, so…(dramatically)…I name you Sammy!
KidK: Like Pretty Sammy?
Mike-the-Brother: Right! She's my favorite Tenchi character, so when people hear that the puppy's name is Sammy, they'll know that she's my dog.
Gir: She's a magical pup! With a purdy hairdo an' everything! Yaaaaaaaaaaaay for Pretty Sammy!
KidK's Mom (entering the room): What's going on in he—oh my god! Mike! What're you doing with a dog?!
Mike-the-Brother: Dad brought her home for us. (pointing with one hand while still holding Sammy with the other) Blame him.
KidK's Dad: Now, honey…
KidK's Mom: You bought a dog without consulting me?
KidK's Dad: The kids need a dog!
KidK: S'right. Every kid needs a dog. And, anyway, Mike already named her, so we have to keep her now.
KidK's Mom: Oh, is that so? And what's her name?
Mike-the-Brother: Sammy. And there's nothing you can do about it.
KidK's Mom (narrowing her eyes): Is that with a 'y' at the end, or an 'i'?
Mike-the-Brother: A 'y,' of course!
KidK's Mom: No. It's got to be an 'i'.
Mike-the-Brother: How come?
KidK's Mom: Because I said so. (note: absolutely true story)
Mike-the-Brother: *sigh* Fine…so much for Pretty Sammy…
KidK: Mike, it's not even as though anyone will know if you just say it out loud.
KidK's Mom: Now give her to me. (Mike hands over the newly respelled Sammi) Hello, Sammi.
Sammi: *whine* (she licks Mom's nose)
KidK's Mom: Awwwwwwww!
KidK's Dad (under his breath): Phew! Saved by a kiss…
KidK: Woohoo! We have a new sister!
Gir: Pretty little sister Sammi!
KidK: Hey, Zim! Come meet your new housemate!
Zim (trying to ignore all this 'human emotion'): Weren't we supposed to be working, here? This comic isn't going to draw itself, you know.
Gir: Aw, Master! Ya gotta meet Sammi! (he jumps up and grabs the puppy from Mom, then runs over and sticks her in Zim's face) Sammi so pretty…you can hold her too!
Zim (gingerly taking the dog and holding her at arm's length): Just looks like your average human fur-dog-monster to me. (he pulls the dog closer to his face for further inspection) It doesn't look dangerous, but it might be disguising its true nature to lure you in.
Sammi: *happy tail wag* (she begins licking Zim's face)
Zim: Augh! It's attacking me with its burning saliva…of doooooom! Quick, get this thing away from me!
Zim releases Sammi from his grip and she falls toward the floor. Luckily, Gir catches her before she hits the ground, and gently pats her head.
Gir (soothingly): There, there, lil' sister…Master won't hurt youuuu…(he glares at Zim) You should say 'sorry,' Master.
Zim: I will do nothing of the sort. That beast is evil and I want nothing to do with it.
KidK: Oh, now that's just mean, Zim. She obviously doesn't know you're allergic.
Zim: Or…does she?
KidK's Dad: She's only eight weeks old, so probably not.
Zim: I wouldn't be so sure.
Mike-the-Brother: Well, if that's how you're gonna be, you can stay away from my dog!
Zim: With pleasure!
KidK's Mom: Now, we'd better go and get this girl set up with some food. You did remember to buy food, didn't you honey?
KidK's Dad: I'm not stupid. I got some from Petco on the way home, and also a den for her. I'll go set it up.
KidK: I can't believe we have a dog!
Mike-the-Brother: And that she's mine!
KidK: Nuh uh, not just yours, Mike.
They all exit the room, with KidK and Mike arguing over ownership of Sammi, KidK's Mom happily talking about how Sammi can sleep in their bed and KidK's Dad protesting this, and Gir skipping along chattering to his 'sister' about how she would have to meet all his 'friends.' Zim remains behind, finishing the ink on last few colored pages of the comic rather angrily. Later that night, after dinner is over…
KidK: Mom, can I call up Dib and Gaz and have them over to meet Sammi?
KidK's Mom: Sure, Missy. (she looks around) Where is Sammi, anyway?
Mike-the-Brother: Over here—me and Gir are playing ball with her…hey, don't bite me!
KidK's Mom: She's biting you?
Mike-the-Brother: No, I'm talking to Gir. Get offa me, Gir!
Gir: I'm a puppy too! Rrrrrr! Woof! Bark! Moo!
Mike-the-Brother: …what?! Moo?!
Sammi: *whine*
Gir: Aw, did Mikey scare you? Come an' see me!
Sammi: *wag wag* (she pounces on Gir)
Gir: Wheeheeheee!
Sammi: *happy bark!*
KidK (on the phone): ….yeah, really a dog! Can you come over and see her? Cool! See ya in a few. (she hangs up the phone) Dib said they were gonna walk over right now. Hey, Sammi!
Sammi: (she cocks her head questioningly)
KidK: You're gonna meet my friends, OK?
Gir: Yay, Dibby an' Gazzy!
Not that long after…
KidK: Come on in, guys. We're keeping her in the livingroom.
Dib: Wow, a dog! You guys are lucky.
KidK: Yup! ^_^
Gaz: Didn't we have a puppy once?
Dib (pondering this): I…think so. Whatever happened to that puppy?
Gaz: How should I know? You were the one who was supposed to feed it.
Dib: I was not! You were!
Gaz: I distinctly remember Dad telling you to do it.
Dib: He was just on the vid screen—he could've been telling either of us!
They enter the livingroom, where KidK's Dad is lying on the floor and KidK's Mom is sitting next to him, effectively creating a barrier keeping the bouncy, wiggly Sammi within a small, manageable play area. The dog is currently chewing a tiny Nylabone into oblivion with her sharp little teeth.
Mike-the-Brother: Hey, Gaz.
Gaz: Hey. Nice dog.
Mike-the-Brother: Isn't she?
Gaz: Yeah.
Mike-the-Brother: You can pet her if you want. (he scoops up the dog) C'mere, you. See, go ahead.
Gaz gingerly pats Sammi on the back and, in typical Sammi style, the dog responds by wagging and licking.
Gaz (with a small smile): Yeah, you're pretty cute. (she resumes her normal impassive look) I could do without the spit, though.
Dib: That's just how dogs say hello, Gaz.
Gaz (slightly irked): I know that…
Dib (not even paying attention): Isn't that right, Sammi?
Upon hearing Dib's voice, Sammi's floppy ears perk up, and she wags even harder than normal. She starts squirming so much to get away from Mike that he puts her down on the floor. She immediately bounds over to Dib and puts her front paws up on his legs, whining excitedly and wagging all the while. (Special Author Note: In real life, Sammi is a total Dib fangirl. Whenever we're watching IZ together and he appears on screen or speaks, she goes up and sniffs the speakers or just sits and stares like she's just heard the voice of God. She has such a crush—it's so cute. ^_^)
Dib: Whoa! I guess she likes me, huh? (he bends down to pet Sammi, who jumps on him and gives him a serious licking) Good girl!
Mike-the-Brother: Hey, she likes Dib more than she likes me! No fair! (he pouts)
Gaz: Then she must be the only one in the entire world, Mike.
Mike-the-Brother: Oh, right.
Gir: I love you Mikey! I'm your lovey puppy! (he jumps on Mike and starts licking him) Yummy! Woof woof!
Mike-the-Brother: For the last time, Gir, you are not my dog! Sammi is!
Gir: But you still love me, riiiiight?
Mike-the-Brother: Hmf. I guesso.
At that moment, Zim comes upstairs from his lab, after sulking there for the entire evening. This could prove to be a problem.
Zim: KidK! If you are quite finished making a fool of yourself over that vicious saliva-spewing hair monster, I require your presence down—what is the Dib doing here?!
Dib (looking up from Sammi): Oh, hello Zim. We were just playing with Sammi. I noticed that you weren't around…are you scared of her or something?
Zim: I do not fear the putrid Sammi-creature! I simply hate it!
Gir: That's not nice, Master!
Dib (picking up Sammi and stroking her, evil genius style): Well, what do you know? Another of Zim's weaknesses. This can really be used against you.
Zim: How?
Dib: Because all humans like dogs. You didn't know that? If people find out that you said you hate a dog, they'll realize you're an alien and will hunt you down!
Zim: That…that can't be true!
KidK's Mom: Right. Some people like cats, though I don't see why. (KidK's Mom is not a cat person at all)
Gaz: I like cats.
Dib: But, Zim, the question is—are you going to risk it?
Zim: No. There will be no risk involved once I perform a simple lie-detector test on you.
Dib (skeptically): Lie-detector test? You don't have the equipment for that.
Zim (confused): Equipment? There's no equipment involved, Dib-monkey. (he points) I was just going to ask KidK.
KidK: Me?
Zim: Yes. You would never lie to me, would you, KidK? (he grins in what he believes is a charming fashion, but ends up looking kinda scary)
KidK (unnerved): Uh…I guess not. Unless it was important or involved a surprise party or something like that.
Zim: Right. Agreed. So, tell me, is not enjoying the company of the dog-beast a danger to my mission?
KidK: Um…well…(thinking) I don't want to lie, and it would be such an obvious lie, too, but…if I say 'yes,' maybe he'll try to get along with Sammi. And if he gets to know her better, maybe he'll decide he really likes her. And who wouldn't like Sammi? Okay. That's it then. Yes. All humans like dogs, and anyway, you disguise Gir as a dog, so it'll look really suspicious if you don't treat Sammi as if you like her.
Zim (rather taken aback): So it is true. Well, in that case…hand over the dog, Dib.
Dib (turning away): Not a chance. You'll probably just do experiments on her or something.
KidK's Dad: Nobody's experimenting on that dog. She cost too much money for you guys to be messing with her gene structure or something.
Zim: I wouldn't dream of it. Sammi is—ugh, I can't believe I'm saying this—my friend.
Gir: Yay! Master likes sister Sammi!
Dib: Are you sure?
Zim: Yes.
Dib: Fine, then. Take her.
He holds Sammi out to Zim, who takes her and holds her under one arm. She cries and tries to get back to her idol, Dib, but Zim holds her firmly and pats her on the head.
Zim (you can tell he's faking): I'll take good care of you, Sammi. Because I love you like a sibling and whatnot! And now my new furry comrade and I will be going. (he turns to go back downstairs)
Mike-the-Brother: Hey, where do you think you're going with my dog?
KidK's Mom: Yeah, her den and all her stuff is up here, and I'm not sure the lab is the best place for her.
KidK's Dad (totally clueless): Lab?
KidK's Mom (catching herself): Um, I mean the downstairs couch. She can't sleep down there with you until she gets better trained.
Zim: Trained? You put your pets through training? Well, then, just leave it to me! We Irkens are masters of discipline! Why did you not mention this before? I will have your Sammi properly trained by morning!
KidK's Mom: I really think it'll take longer than that, Zim.
Zim: Nonsense! What would you have her do? Fend off enemies, carry heavy loads, reprogram your computers, what?
KidK's Mom (bemused): No, she just needs to learn to go outside.
Zim: Huh? The dog is too stupid to do that on its own? You just open the door and throw it out there! Here, see? (he acts like he's going to go down and do just that)
KidK's Dad: No, she means 'go outside. Not 'go outside.'
Zim: Ohhhhh…I have no idea what you mean, but whatever it is it shall be done!
Sammi: *whine* (she looks mournfully at Dib)
Dib: She really doesn't want to be with you, Zim. I think she likes me better.
Zim: Fool! No one is more revered by dogs than Zim! Now, let the training begin!
He walks off down the stairs, carrying a struggling Sammi. The others are left stunned.
Dib: Well, that didn't turn out as planned. I just wanted him to get all freaked out like usual. I didn't think he'd actually take your dog away. Sorry.
Mike-the-Brother: You'd better be.
Gaz (smacking Dib): Yeah, stupid. I was gonna teach that thing to chew your ears off.
Mike-the-Brother: Good idea, Gaz. As soon as Zim's through failing at housetraining Sammi, we'll do just that. Won't that be fun, Dib?
Dib: You're bluffing. That dog wouldn't hurt a fly.
KidK: Yeah, and she really seems to love Dib, so your plan probably wouldn't work.
Gaz: We'll see about that tomorrow. Come on, Dib, we're going home.
Mike-the-Brother: Aw, don't you want to battle at all?
Gaz: Eh, it can wait. I'm working on another Link's Awakening file, so I kinda want to get back to that. I'm gonna get the world record for finishing it in six hours.
Mike-the-Brother: Six hours? Nobody can beat Link's Awakening in six hours! I'd like to see you try!
Gaz: Fine then. I will. See you, Mr. and Mrs. Mike's Parents. Bye, KidK.
KidK: Goodnight, Gaz. 'Night, Dib! Thanks for coming over.
Dib: No, thank you for inviting me. Make sure you fill me in on how Zim embarrasses himself tonight with Sammi. Or if Sammi does anything really cool.
KidK: You'll be the first person I'll call. ^_^ Bye! (the Membranes exit)
KidK's Mom: Do you really think we can trust Zim with Sammi all night?
KidK's Dad: Why not? If she makes a mess, you can just clean it up.
KidK's Mom (sarcastically): Oh, thank you so much.
KidK: Gir, you'll help Zim, right? And you'll make sure that he doesn't take out his wrath on Sammi?
Gir: Yup! I can do it!
KidK: Sweet. (Gir heads downstairs after his Master) And now, Mike, you and I have work to do.
Mike-the-Brother: But—
KidK: No buts, Mister. I have to go up to skool tomorrow, and this comic is due Tuesday. So this is really our last chance to work on it!
Mike-the-Brother: *sigh* Okay. (Mike is a worse procrastinator than I am, although that's not really saying much.)
They go off to do Mike's homework, and the parental units busy themselves with grown-up, parent-y…stuff. Meanwhile, down in the lab…
Zim: Now, Sammi-beast, you will pay attention to me and only me. Until morning tomorrow, I am your Master and you will obey!
Sammi (head tilted): *whine?*
Zim: Indeed. Now, to begin our first lesson. Computer!
Computer Voice: What is it this time?
Zim: Run a scan. What do humans usually teach their dog pets to do?
Computer Voice: Eh…(grumbling)…as if he can't just look it up for himself…(more officially) One of the first things humans will teach a dog to do is to sit down on command. Then, they will proceed to lessons on laying down, shaking hands, and rolling over.
Zim: Sit down? Shake hands? Child's play! Oh, they will all stare in amazement when the monster is fully trained…and the Dib will be forced to hang his humongous head in shame and acknowledge that I am the superior dog-master.
Computer Voice: Yeah, sure. Are you done yet?
Zim: Yes, yes, I require no more help. (he marches over to the waiting Sammi and speaks quite assertively) Sammi-beast! Sit!
Sammi: *wag wag wag* (she jumps on Zim and starts licking him)
Zim: No, no! Mindless creature! Ag, it burns! Get off of me!
Gir (arriving on the scene): She loves you, Master!
Zim: Gir! Come and pick up the dog!
Gir (doing just that): You two are such a cuuute couple…
Zim: Be quiet and play with the spit-monster while I go take a paste-shower. (he stalks away)
Gir: Okie dokie! Come on, Sammi, let's go play with Piggy!
Sammi: (she wiggles and looks excited)
A few minutes later, when Zim returns…
Zim: All right, back to our training schedule—Gir what did you do?!
Gir (amidst a pile of broken machinery): I didn't doooo it…it was Sammi!
Zim: Uh huh. Sure.
Gir: No, really!
Zim: Right. And where is Sammi now?
Gir (pointing): Over theeeeere.
Zim looks in the direction Gir is pointing, only to see a tiny tan tail poking out from under a heap of twisted metal.
Zim: Geh! Gir, why didn't you stop it?! Now it may be injured and KidK will be angry! (he runs over and pulls Sammi out of the wreckage, only to find that she is perfectly fine, and gnawing on a metal rod) You! So you are the one behind all this damage!
Gir: I toooold yooooou…
Zim: What do you have to say for yourself?!
Sammi: *yip!* (she licks Zim, then looks disgusted for a second at the taste of paste, and then bites him)
Zim (dropping Sammi): Augh! You dare bite your Master? (he makes a move like he's going to grab the dog)
Sammi: *bark!* (she runs away, crashing into several very important-looking machines)
Zim: You've gone insane! Get back here! (he takes off after the errant puppy, who is indeed insane and often runs around like a lunatic just like this)
Gir: Whee! We're playin' tag!
A few hours later, around ten thirty, KidK and Mike are finally finished their momentous contribution to the world of comic books.
KidK (creepily): It is compleeeeeteeeeeeed…
Mike-the-Brother: Cut it out. It's my comic, not yours.
KidK (ironic): You're welcome. It's nice to see you show gratitude for all my hard coloring work.
Mike-the-Brother: You did a good job, sis. Thanks. I'm gonna get an A for sure!
KidK: It'd better be more than an A—you are getting perfect 100 on this or I'm gonna personally come and tell off your teacher!
Mike-the-Brother (sarcastically): Oh, that'll work. What would you say? 'You'd better give my brother a 100 because I worked so long and hard on his homework?'
KidK: Oh…yeah…right. I forgot. I wonder if Zim and Gir are doing okay with Sammi. It's been awfully quiet down there…(there is a huge 'boom' sound that rocks the whole house)
Mike-the-Brother: They're fiiiine. Well, I guess we should clean up and go to bed.
KidK: Okay.
They do so, and pretty soon the whole household is asleep. Well, except for Zim and Gir and Sammi, of course.
Zim: No, don't step on that! (there is another explosion) Nooooooooooo! My wonderful baaaaaaaaase! You will pay for this, dog-beast! Oh, how you will paaaaaaaay!
Sammi: *bark bark!*
Zim: We'll see about that!
Zim once again tries to catch Sammi, which sends the little dog into a frenzy. She tears around the lab, tripping over cords and shorting circuits all the way. Gir is not being any help, as he has decided that if Sammi can do it so can he, and thus is also running around screaming and destroying things. Finally, Sammi pauses, out of breath, in the shadow of a giant machine whose purpose is indeterminate but can't be nonviolent. Gir, in his haste, runs into the machine and sends it teetering on edge.
Zim: Hey! Get out of the way!
Sammi (clueless): *yip!* (she wags her tail endearingly)
Zim: *sigh* It always turns out this way, doesn't it?
He dashes over and, just as the huge mechanism is toppling over, throws himself toward Sammi, grabbing her and rolling out of the way. Well…almost out of the way.
Zim: My foot! The stupid thing fell on my stupid foot! Ngh, why do such things happen to me all the time? (Note: The answer is—'because KidKourage is evil.' *cackle*) Now I'm stuck and…it hurts! And it's all your fault, you little monster!
Sammi looks up at her savior and seems to reach a decision. She wriggles out from under him, takes hold of his collar with her teeth, and starts pulling.
Sammi: *whine*
Zim: That's not going to work, dog-beast. You'll try to pull me out, but then you'll just bite me again. Ugh…why must there be so much pain?! Gir!
Gir (running around in circles): Eeeeeeeek! Master's all hurty! What do I dooo? What do I dooooooooooo?!
Zim: Gir!
Gir (stopping his running): Yeeees?
Zim: Do you think you could, I don't know, help me here? Lift this thing off my foot!
Gir (going red): Yes, Master, I obey!
The deceptively strong Gir hoists the giant machine over his head triumphantly, allowing Zim to get out from under it.
Zim: Good job, Gir. No, don't—
Gir (blue once more): Yeeeeeehee! (he tosses the machine over his head, which breaks upon hitting the ground)
Zim: Oh well. I'll just add that to the long list of things I'm going to have to fix. Stupid dog. (he looks at Sammi, who is the picture of contrition)
Sammi: *whine*
Zim: Huh. I suppose you earn points for attempting to save your Master. Are you finally ready to obey?
Sammi: *bark!* *wag wag*
Zim: Good. (he attempts to stand on his injured foot) Yow! (he falls back to the floor) Well, it seems that this too is broken.
Sammi: (she starts licking Zim's foot) *whimper whine*
Zim: That won't help. (Sammi looks up, seeming a bit upset at this) But don't worry. I can fix myself.
A tube snakes out from inside Zim's backpod and he points the end of it at his foot, which is bathed in a soft blue light. After just a few seconds of this, the tube retracts and Zim stands up.
Zim: See? We Invaders are not bothered by mere physical pain.
Sammi: *yelp!* (she puts her paws on Zim's legs and wags happily)
Gir: Aw, she's happy that you're all better!
Zim: Well, who wouldn't be?
Gir: I'm happy too!
Sammi: *bark!*
Zim: Perhaps the Sammi-beast is not as bad as I believed. She is, after all, only a child by dog standards. She will soon outgrow her…youthful indiscretions and destructive tendencies. Now, shall we resume the training process?
Sammi: *wag wag wag*
The next morning, KidK awakens with her usual sense of dread that it is indeed Monday and she will be forced once again to take up residence in her dorm room. She yawns and stretches, thinking of the horror that awaits her. Then the events of the previous evening come flooding back into her mind, and she remembers something very important.
KidK: Hey! I have a dog! (Note: I talk to myself. Doesn't everyone?) Or at least I probably do. Unless Zim did something horrible to her last night…I'd better check up on that.
Mike-the-Brother (who has to get up earlier): Who are you talking to?
KidK: Nobody. Tell Mom I'll be out to breakfast in a few minutes. I've gotta go see if Zim and Sammi are both still alive.
Mike-the-Brother: 'kay.
KidK pulls on her bathrobe and wanders downstairs to the lab. Upon arriving, she is shocked to find it in ruins, with bits of machinery and downed cables all over the place. In the middle of this scene of carnage, Zim is sitting with his back leaning against the miraculously undamaged computer console, with Sammi in his lap and Gir curled up close by. All three are fast asleep.
KidK: Zim! Oh my God, what happened?!
Zim (starting awake): Huh?! What?! Turtles?! (he sees KidK) Oh, it's just you.
KidK (worried): Are you all okay?
Zim (sleepily): Yes. It took…*yawn*…until three in the morning, but…watch this. (he gets up and places the now fully awake and refreshed Sammi on the floor) Sammi! Sit!
Sammi: *bark!* (she sits down quite primly and wags her tail proudly)
Gir: Yay sister Sammi!
KidK: Wow! She can do it! Good girl! (she bends down to pet the overjoyed Sammi, then turns to Zim) Good job, Zimmy. I knew you could do it.
Zim: There could be no doubt. I told you that Irkens are the universe's most skilled dog trainers. Now Sammi is the perfect minion of doom. Invite the Dib-monkey over, for I simply must rub his nose in my victory.
KidK: Don't you have to go to skool?
Zim: Get him to come before that.
KidK: Hmmm, Zim wants Dib to come over. This is a first! Okay, I'll call him.
Around 7:30 in the morning, Dib and Gaz arrive at KidK's house.
Mike-the-Brother: Come in, already! I want to see this before I have to leave for skool.
Gaz: Heh. You hafta go so much earlier than us.
Dib: I don't believe that Zim could possibly have trained an eight-week-old puppy to do anything in a single night.
Gaz: KidK said he did.
Dib: I suppose.
They are led up the stairs to the living room, where Zim, KidK, Gir, and Sammi are waiting.
Zim: Ah, the Dib is here! Come, Dib, and be amazed by the awesome spectacle of Irken discipline!
Dib: Suuuuure. Just hurry it up.
KidK: This is so cool. ^_^
Zim: Feast your eyes! Sammi!
Sammi (gazing up at Zim): *whine?*
Zim: Sit!
Sammi: (she sits down)
Gaz: Pretty neat.
Mike-the-Brother (pouty): I could've taught her that. She's my dog, you know.
Dib: Well, I guess…I was wrong.
Zim: Ha! You were indeed wrong, pathetic human! Now, Sammi! (he points at Dib) Attack!
Sammi: *bark!* (she leaps to her feet and rushes toward Dib)
Dib: Whoa! (he throws up his arms to protect his face)
Gaz: Cool!
Sammi: *yip!* (she jumps on Dib, pushing him to the ground with the sheer force of her love, and starts licking up a storm)
Dib (laughing): Oh, hey! Cut it out, girl! Some 'attack,' Zim!
Zim (aghast): Sammi, you betray me?
KidK: Well, you could hardly expect her to turn against someone she is obviously in love with.
Gir: Sammi and Dibby sittin' in a tree!
Mike-the-Brother: Heh, Dib's girlfriend is a real dog!
Gaz: Shut up, Mike.
Zim: Sammi! Don't you worship me?!
Sammi (looking up from Dib with a crazed look in her eyes): *yelp!* (she runs over and pounces on Zim, knocking him over and showering him with kisses)
Zim: Ugh! Stop this nonsense!
KidK: It's nice to see you two getting along so well.
Zim: Get this monster off of me! Sammi! Obey! Sit!
Sammi: (she sits down, still perched atop Zim) *wag wag wag*
Zim (reaching up to pat Sammi's head): Good…dog.
KidK: It would seem that this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship, eh, Zim?
Zim: So long as she stops destroying things.
Sammi (the epitome of happiness): *yip!*
Zim: Though I suppose there can be no guarantee of that, since she is clearly mentally unbalanced.
KidK: Well, in that case she should fit in perfectly around here!
Gir: Magical Pup Pretty Sammi is the best sister in the wooooorld!
KidK: She sure is! ^_^
Sammi (smiling a doggy smile): *bark!* *wag wag*
Woof Woof Arf Whine Bark!
(The End!)
This story is dedicated to the memory of:
Cassandra Marie 'Cassie' of Black Pool,
the original crazy cocker spaniel sister.
You are my proof that life is too short not to live to the fullest every day.
You will always have a den in my heart.