Title: Blindly
Series: Star Trek: Voyager
Author: Captain Nora Jones
Rating: K+
Summary: A shuttle crash (again) and the Captain is left without her eyesight. Will the damage become permanent?
Author's Note: Did you ever have one of those stories that you just started writing and you looked up at the clock and realized that you had been writing for three hours and you needed to go to bed. This is one of those! Hope you enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own them; I just play with them, and give them back.
Feedback: Yes please.
Her vision was blurry and her head felt like it was split from temple to temple. She could smell the stench of burnt flesh and when she managed to move her hand to her face, she realized it was hers'. Somewhere off to her left she could sense another figure. She tried to concentrate and make her vision focus, but her eyes refused to take the command.
Slowly, blindly, she sat up trying to remember where she was. Then it came back in a rush. The shuttle, the Boarzian trade mission, returning to the rendezvous point, being greeted by Kleckian ships, hiding behind a moon, and the shuttle going down…down on that moon. The figure next to her was Tom; Tom had gone on that mission with her.
She crawled blindly to him.
"Tom," she coughed. "Tom answer me."
He lay in silence and without her vision she could not see the extent of his injuries.
"Tom, you've got to give me some sign, some sign that you're with me."
Then she heard it, a shallow breath. He was alive, for now.
That's more like it, she thought. Were they going to have to abandon the shuttle?
She couldn't remember how hard they had hit the surface. Quickly she got her bearings and crawled to the med kit and the blankets. She wrapped one blanket around her shoulders and crawled back to Tom with the other. Gently she placed the blanket on him. She managed to get the tricorder out of the kit. Luckily in Tuvok's survival training she had learned that the tricorder had an audio option. She found the button with her thumb and ran it over Tom.
"Third degree burns to eighty percent of the body. A fractured skull. Three broken ribs. One punctured lung," the tricorder chirped in a woman's voice very much like the computers'.
She wanted to cry. She couldn't treat any of that without her eyesight.
Get a hold of yourself Kathryn. She ordered. You can treat the burns.
She found the dermal regenerator in the kit and began to run it over his face, neck and chest. It was agonizing knowing that she couldn't see her own progress.
Finally she had to give up. Her head wound was making her nauseous and if she didn't lie down she was sure she was going throw up the coffee she had for breakfast. She closed her eyes and the act made no difference except that it was a little darker. Sleep caught her in mid breath and she didn't hear the beep from the conn.
There was movement, someone was carrying her. She tried to object, but a gentle voice said,
"There, there, little one. Do not fuss. You are safe now."
"I can't see," she managed.
"You are injured. Sleep now."
"Tom?"
"He is with us. Sleep now little one."
She felt something cold against her neck and her consciousness faded as she tried to hold onto it.
"Chakotay," she said, lost her grip on consciousness, and floated gently into darkness.
Someone was singing. It was distant and beautiful.
It's angels, she thought. She had never been very religious. The most religious she had ever been had been when she rescued Kes. Now she knew the sound was angels there to lead her into whatever afterlife she was destined for.
Slowly she opened her eyes, but she found only the same fuzziness that was there before.
Well, I'm not dead.
The singer came closer until they stood at her bedside.
"Welcome little one," the same voice as before said.
"Where am I?" Kathryn asked trying to sit up.
"Lie still now. You are very weak yet, but you will heal. My name is Fleaka."
"I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway. My shuttle was shot down. There was another with me. A man named Tom Paris."
"He is being tended to by the monks. He is not beyond their care. The Kleckians strand political prisoners on our world. They are usually badly in need of food, water and rest when we find them."
"My eyesight is still impaired."
"I fear that is beyond even the monks healing. I am sorry," Fleaka said, true sorrow in her voice.
"How long have we been here?"
"Two risings of the sun."
"Two days."
"Are you thirsty?"
Kathryn nodded and Fleaka helped her to sit up. The cool water was a shock to her parched throat and she coughed. Fleaka giggled slightly then said,
"Slow. The water is not going anywhere."
Kathryn drank slowly taking in her surroundings with the rest of her senses. She had always been told that when someone is blinded, the other sense take over to make up for the lost one, but science on Earth had all but done away with blindness all together.
This is not Earth. She reminded herself.
"Rest now," Fleaka said placing a soft blanket over her. "Tomorrow we will discuss your Tom."
"Thank you," Kathryn said and she heard Fleaka softly tread across the stone floor and settle into the same corner she had come from. She resumed the song she had been singing and it lulled Kathryn into a deep healing sleep.
A scent woke her.
It smells like Tuvok. She thought. Like the incense he burns when he meditates.
"Fleaka are you there?" she asked.
"I am," Fleaka said coming to her side. "How are you feeling?"
"Better, thank you."
"Come," she said helping her rise. "We should walk."
"Walk?"
Kathryn wasn't sure she could walk, but Fleaka helped her take a few timid steps. She certainly wasn't going to be able to walk at her normal pace anytime soon.
They shuffled down a set of shallow stone steps and the fragrance of a garden exploded around them. It had just rained and the soil was damp. Kathryn thought even Boothby's garden never smelled as the one on that moon did.
Fleaka sat her down on a stone bench near a fountain. The garden expanded in every direction and was almost intoxicating.
"Your Tom," Fleaka began.
Kathryn snapped out of the beauty of the garden. Tom could be dead.
"Your Tom will be here. He is scarred deeply, but alive."
It doesn't matter I can't see the scars. She thought.
"He will be here soon. I must leave you for a moment. You are safe in the garden."
Kathryn nodded; it was as though Fleaka knew she needed to be alone with her thoughts.
Will the Doctor be able to restore my sight? What if he can't? Don't think like that Kathryn. Think positive. But what if he can't? What good is a blind Captain? You can't see the enemy coming. Jean Luke had a blind crewman and he did just fine. He was in charge of the CONN for heaven's sake. Get a hold of yourself Kathryn. I'll never see Chakotay again.
The final thought brought on tears. It had come out of left field so fast she wasn't ready for it. It hurt. She let the tears fall. She was alone in the garden; no one was near to see a Star Fleet Captain cry.
She heard feet approaching. They were not Fleaka's soft tread. They were swift and got swifter the nearer they became.
"Captain?"
She stood and Tom took her into his arms. Her hands found his face and she couldn't hold back the shock of what she felt beneath her fingers. He was severely scarred.
"Tom."
"I was so afraid that-"
"It is good to see you, Tom," she cocked her head knowing that he was examining her choice of words.
"I'm sorry Captain."
"It's okay Tom. The crash was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done. I'm just glad we both survived. What would I have told B'Elanna?" she teased and felt him smile under her fingers.
"I have heard from Voyager. They will be here in two days. Your COM badge must have fallen off in the crash. The monks returned mine when I was awake."
"Sit please," Kathryn offered the bench. "Tell me what you see Tom."
"I see a garden second to none," he said. "Boothby would be jealous of this garden. There are roses in colors I've never see before and lilies that are blooming at the same time. The fountain at the center is made of polished marble and has two figures pouring water on the top, one male one female. I would like to learn more about the monks."
"Permission granted," Kathryn smiled. "We are still explorers after all. I will ask Fleaka to tell me about the female side. I'd like to know if they are nuns or if they have another name."
"And if they are allowed to marry?"
"Marry?"
"Bartol, the monk who looked after me, has a wedding band."
"Interesting. Perhaps celibacy is only a human religious trait."
Kathryn caught soft footsteps before Tom had an inkling that someone was coming.
"Fleaka is coming."
"So she is," Tom said. "It's good to know that the blare of the red alert hasn't done any damage to your hearing."
She laughed at his joke.
"Hello Tom," Fleaka said. "Your wife is blind."
Kathryn was astonished at her frankness.
"I'm not his wife," she said quickly.
"But he wears a ring," Fleaka said confusion in her voice.
"I'm married to another woman," Tom attempted to explain. "Her name is B'Elanna."
"But you travel together."
"I'm the Captain of a star ship and Tom is the best pilot my ship had," Kathryn continued.
Fleaka was silent for a moment, contemplating.
"Fleaka, are the nuns allowed to marry?"
"Yes. We believe that a pair controls the stars. Many of the nuns have monks as husbands."
"And you?" Tom asked.
"You have met him. Bartol is my husband. We have been together for twenty rotations."
"Twenty years, wow," Tom said. "But you look so young."
"I am young," she said gently. "One hundred and twenty-seven rotations is still quite young."
Kathryn wished she could see the look on Tom's face and she chuckled even though she couldn't.
A gentle chime rang through the garden.
"It is time to eat," Fleaka said and she took Kathryn by the arm. "Do not worry Tom. I will return her here after the meal."
They spent the next two days exploring the moon. Kathryn hoped that when she got back to Voyager they could stay in orbit. If the Doctor could fix her eyesight she wanted to see the people who helped them. She was sitting in the garden with Tom when the familiar chirp of his COM badge startled them out of the conversation they were having.
"Chakotay to Paris."
"Paris here."
"How are you faring?"
"We're doing okay."
"We will be in transporter range within minutes."
"Thank you, Paris out. I would like to say good-bye to Bartol."
"And I to Fleaka."
"I'll be back," and she heard him go. There was no need to call for Fleaka for she was always close by. She had respectfully kept her distance when Tom came to visit. Now she came and sat next to Kathryn on the bench.
"I have to leave," Kathryn said.
"I know," Fleaka said softly.
"Thank you for everything."
"You will go into your ship in the sky and I will never see you again?"
Kathryn nodded. She had gotten so used to Fleaka's presence. If she had to be blind the rest of her life…
"Fleaka, if the Doctor cannot fix my eyesight, would you come with us?"
There was a giggle,
"It is a tempting offer, but my home is here with Bartol and the Pair looking down us. But you are meant to be there. Blind or not that is your home."
She was a wise one and Kathryn knew she would care for the next lost traveler and the next.
Tom returned and helped Kathryn to her feet.
"Time to go," he said.
"Fleaka, come with us and see my ship."
"Thank you that is very kind of you."
Tom tapped his badge,
"Paris to Voyager, three to beam up."
There was a gasp as she felt the familiar texture of the transporter pad beneath her feet.
"Captain?" Chakotay's voice came.
She held back her tears.
"Yes Commander. We're all right. This is Fleaka she and the monks rescued us from the crash and healed our wounds to the best of their ability. Fleaka this is Commander Chakotay my first officer."
"Pleasure to meet you."
"Commander if you will show Fleaka the way I believe we should report to sickbay as we have some damage that needs repaired."
"Follow me."
The journey through the halls was no different than the day she had gone through her ship blindfolded. She knew where she was going, but she wanted Fleaka to lead her. She heard the swoosh of the sickbay doors and the Doctor's voice,
"Welcome back Captain. Mr. Paris you're first. Have a seat."
Patiently they waited for the Doctor to finish with Tom. Kathryn told Chakotay about the planet from her perspective.
"I'd like to see it," Chakotay said.
"I would too," Kathryn teased.
"Okay Captain you're next."
The Doctor helped her up onto a bio bed and she heard the beep beep beep of the tricorder.
"Hmm," he said.
"Hmm what?" Tom asked.
Kathryn felt the Doctor's hand on her shoulder.
"Captain, I am going to try to repair your vision, but I must tell you if I fail, you will never regain it."
"I understand," she said trying not to let her voice waver with fear.
"We'll be here when you wake," Fleaka said.
"We promise," Chakotay added.
The Doctor pressed the hypospray to her neck and she felt the sedative work instantly. Her eyes closed and a warm darkness enveloped her.
She heard soft voices far, far away. She wanted to speak but she was so sleepy. Her eyes were heavy and part of her was afraid to open them. Would she see Chakotay and Fleaka? Or would she see the same fuzziness?
Don't be afraid. One way or the other they will be there for you.
Slowly she opened one eye then the other. The room was still fuzzy and her heart fell, but then, slowly, things began to focus; the ceiling, the lights, the Doctor's face, Chakotay's face, and finally the face of a fiery-headed teenaged girl. She sat up and threw her arms around Chakotay. Tears tumbled from her healed blue eyes. She pulled away from him and focused on the girl.
"Nice to finally see you, Fleaka," she said and embraced the young woman.
"I am glad that your Doctor can perform such miracles. You are truly loved by the Pair and by him."
Kathryn blushed at Chakotay's side.
"Yes, I suppose I am."
"You have been kind enough to show me your world; come with me and you will see the world in which you have lived for the last five rises of the sun."
"Doctor?" Kathryn with a raised an eyebrow.
"You are fit for duty," the Doctor said quite proudly.
"I would like that very much Fleaka."
"Come, bring your pair." Fleaka said ushering them to lead the way.
The garden was more spectacular then Kathryn had imagined, or perhaps it was the company. They strolled along the paths and stopped at the fountain.
"I must leave you now. Now that you are healed. There will be others that need tended to."
Kathryn hugged the young woman again.
"Thank you for my life Fleaka, and for showing me your world through a different set of eyes."
The young woman nodded, turned and left them alone in the garden.
"Your pair huh?" Chakotay said with a dimpled smile.
"Sometimes it takes losing something, to realize what you have," Kathryn said and gently kissed him.
"Don't get lost too often," he teased. "I don't know if I'll make it through the worry next time."
"I promise I'll try not too."
"That will work," Chakotay said, scooped her up in his arms and pushed his COM badge,
"Chakotay to Voyager, two to beam up."