Title: Operation: Steal McSteamy
Author: domlover89
Pairings: McStizzie, Merder, possibly other pairings
Summary: Following her dismal defeat in the great resident showdown, Izzie Stevens is exhausted and downhearted until an unexpected runin with a certain plastic surgeon gives her a new challenge to focus on. Izzie devises a dastardly plan to exact revenge against Dr. Derek Shepherd and avenge her good friend Meredith Grey. She will steal Derek's McSteamy.
Warnings: Some language, mild sexual content, light angst
Rating: T or PG13 for now
Feedback: Please?
- - - - - - - - - -
Prologue: Exhaustion breeds invention or insanity?
- - - - - - - - - -
She had been living in the hospital for the past two weeks. She was hungry, dirty, tired, and she had a really awful smell and yet when Bailey had turned them loose, when the contest was over, she couldn't bring herself to leave. It wasn't the paperwork that had piled up over the past fourteen days or the need for another surgery that bound her there. She just couldn't go home.
There was a peaceful silence in the room full of empty hospital beds. She swung her legs back and forth as she stared down at the work she still had to finish. Putting it off had been a horrible idea, but she had been too focused on the contest to care.
Letting out a sigh, Izzie Stevens turned and began to crawl up the empty bed. She thought briefly about how badly she needed to bathe, but was positive she could put it off until morning.
Her eyes had just closed and she was about to drift off to sleep when the sound of someone entering the room filled Izzie's senses. She didn't comment. Hell, she didn't even roll over to see who it was. She was too tired.
"Stevens, what are you doing?" An oddly familiar male voice asked from the doorway.
"Sleeping." Izzie mumbled, but didn't move.
"I thought the contest was over." The man, who happened to be Mark Sloan, said with some curiousity as he moved further into the room.
Izzie sighed as she snuggled her face into the small hospital pillow she was using. "It is. Meredith won."
"Then why are you still here?" Mark asked confused.
Izzie rolled her eyes, before pushing herself into a sitting position and turning to glare at the gorgeous male surgeon. "Well, I was catching up on my paper work. Then I thought I might need to sleep, but apparently I was wrong. Apparently I needed to explain myself to McManwhore, our local plastic surgeon, who will not go away!"
Mark crossed his arms over his chest and smirked. "McManwhore? I thought I was McSteamy."
"That's when I'm feeling charitable. At the moment, I'm merely a step away from calling you McDipshit." Izzie hissed as she pushed her blonde hair out of her face. It was falling out of the messy ponytail she had been keeping it in to hide the dirt and oil.
Mark chuckled loudly. "And here I was going to ask you to scrub in on a surgery with me."
Izzie snorted. "The contest ended four hours ago and I am technically not here."
"Yeah, you better hope that no one figures out that physically you still are. Bailey would be thrilled to learn that one of her favorite residents has decided to move into Seattle Grace." Mark laughed.
"Don't know why anyone would care. Callie lived here." Izzie murmured as she scooted to the end of the bed.
Mark looked at Izzie curiously. "You still haven't told me why you're here."
Izzie bit on her lip. "Oh, yeah, that."
"Well?" Mark quirked a brow.
Izzie shrugged her shoulders before letting out a deep sigh. "I've been living here for the past two weeks. It's sorta become like home. Going back to the house would be…I don't know…weird."
Mark rolled his eyes before sitting down on the bed beside. "That is the lamest excuse I have ever heard."
Izzie gasped in offense. "Hey!" She elbowed Sloan in the side. "I come up with wonderful excuses."
"That one needed work." Mark replied. He turned to look at Izzie with a frown. "Well?"
Izzie looked at Mark and then at the cold cement floor. "Well." She paused wondering briefly if she should tell him the truth or not. After a second of thinking it over, Izzie realized that he was Mark Sloan. She could tell him anything and everything she had done in her life and he couldn't hold any of it against her. He was required to be completely unbiased against everyone.
Taking a deep breath, Izzie let it out slowly and allowed her shoulders to slump forward. "Going home means going back to reality. I don't like reality. In reality I'm a homewrecking surgical resident who has no idea what specialty she's going into and has the instincts of a toad." Mark started laughing and Izzie glared. "I'm serious. Cristina is the overachiever. She's used to being the best at everything. She's the workaholic. Then there's Alex. He's good at what he does, but takes his time doing it. He's a fighter and will kill for just about anything. Meredith is a great surgeon, but more than just natural talent she has the instincts. She figures out medical mysteries, which, by the way, is what won her the contest. Then there's me and I…am the girl who gets too attached and kills heart patients to try and kick them up to the top of the transplant list. I'm the one who, of the group, have been voted Most Likely To Shoot Up The Hospital." Mark was practically falling off the bed now because he was laughing so hard. "Go ahead. Laugh it up. When I do shoot up the hospital…I'll come after you first."
"I'm scared, Stevens, really I am." Mark continued laughing.
Izzie growled before elbowing him in the side and knocking him off of the bed. "You should be."
When Mark stopped laughing and stood to his feet, he sighed. "You ever wonder who any of the other residents are? I mean, I know there are some, but…you all sort of…overshadow them. You're the craziest, funniest, smartest, and most talented."
"Yeah, they really hate us." Izzie replied.
"Do they?" Mark questioned as he slid back on the bed.
Izzie sighed. "Well, the only time I've talked to any of them…they hated us. We're sort of seen as the…suck ups. We're the ones who get in on all of the surgeries. We're the ones who get into the most trouble and yet we get the most praise."
"I would've hated you too." Mark snorted. He tried to inconspicuously slide his hand up her leg while staring at the side of her face. "Especially if I had been a woman." His voice was deep and husky.
Izzie laughed before slapping his hand away. "Come on. You have GOT to try harder than that."
Mark looked offended. "Excuse me?"
"You have got to try harder than that. You're Mark Sloan, the man who terrorizes nurses and women everywhere. You have got to do better than that." Izzie said with a laugh.
"It's late. I'm not at the top of my game." Mark murmured.
Izzie snorted before crossing her arms over her chest. "You're not at the top of your game because Hahn keeps knocking you down. When are you going to realize that she isn't interested?"
"Everyone is interested in me." Mark insisted. "Men and women alike."
Izzie rolled her eyes. "Hahn is…well, you're not her type Mark. I'm telling you. You're just not her type."
"I am every woman's type." Mark replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"And with an attitude like that I wonder why everyone doesn't just fall at your feet." Izzie muttered as she began to swing her legs back and forth.
Mark frowned in confusion. "They do fall at my feet."
"Yeah, and then you open your mouth. It takes a second to realize you're a McManwhore. Although, after looking for a moment or two it becomes oh so obvious." Izzie replied.
Silence fell over them as they sat side by side on the hospital bed. Mark tried sliding his hand back up Izzie leg and she sighed. "Don't you have a surgery to get to or did you decide that visiting the hospital in the middle of the night sounded like fun?"
Mark halted his advances before standing to his feet. "You know, I've never really liked you, Stevens, but you're beginning to grow on me."
Izzie scowled. "Wonderful to know. I've never liked you either but…" She looked thoughtful. "Yeah, right, that hasn't changed."
Mark laughed lightly. "Come on." He motioned for her to stand up.
"Where am I going exactly?" Izzie questioned as she climbed off of the bed.
"To scrub in on my surgery." Mark told her before turning toward the exit.
Izzie frowned deeply. "I'm not here."
"And yet you are." Mark replied.
"I'm not interested in plastics." Izzie complained.
Mark paused to smirk at her. "You don't know that. You don't know what specialty you're interested in."
Izzie opened her mouth and then closed it. "You know, I think I'll sit this one out."
Mark smiled wickedly at her. "I don't think you want to miss this."
Izzie's eyes went wide. "Really? What is it? What happened?" Mark didn't comment. His smile widened as he turned and quietly exited the room. Izzie sighed as she followed after him. "God, I hate McManwhore."
- - - - - - - - - - -
Izzie walked around the patient for a moment and then looked up at Mark Sloan. The woman had just been in a car accident that completely mutilated her head and face, but there had been no damage done to her brain.
"Wow." Izzie murmured. "This was so worth at least seventy."
Mark sent her a look, but covered it with a smile. He began speaking comfortingly to the patient.
Izzie watched him with a sigh. If he were as nice and kind as he appeared then every woman within a ten mile radius would be killing themselves for him. As it was, he was McManwhore.
"So, Dr. Model, what do you think?" Mark asked the moment they left the room.
Izzie didn't bother to get offended over the model comment. Sloan would be Sloan. "I think I have to page Meredith."
"Why?" Mark questioned confused.
"She won the contest. She got the shiny little beeper. We're all required to page her for the next three months about any surgery we get. If she wants it, it's her's." Izzie explained with a great deal of irritation. Her train of thought quickly shifted. "How did that woman avoid brain damage?"
"No skull fractures and her CT came back clean." Mark replied. "She's damn lucky."
"Got that right." Izzie mumbled as she grabbed the phone off of the nurse's desk and put in Meredith's beeper number. After a second, she hung up the phone and leaned on the desk. "Now I wait."
"How long are you going to give her?" Mark asked.
"Ten minutes tops." Izzie replied as she stared up at the clock. "It's late. She might not answer it."
"That's the difference between her and Yang." Mark laughed.
Izzie nodded. "Cristina would answer any time of any day."
As they shared a smile and waited, a twinkle of an idea began to form in the back of Izzie's brain.
- - - - - - - - - - -
A dastardly plan is devised...
- - - - - - - - - - -
"Okay, so I have a plan." Izzie Stevens announced as she sat down between Cristina Yang and Alex Karev at lunch the next day.
Alex snorted. "This should be good."
"Doesn't that require thinking?" Cristina asked with a smirk.
Izzie elbowed Yang in the side before continuing to speak. "So, I've decided we're getting back at McDipshit for hurting Meredith."
"How?" Cristina asked. Her eyes were now wide as a smile spread across her face. She looked sort of scary and too much like a serial killer for comfort. "Are we going to gut him?"
Izzie sighed. "No."
"Are we going to break his pretty boy face?" Alex asked with a smirk.
"No." Izzie snorted. "You guys are too shallow." She paused as a smile crept across her face. "We're going to take everything he has from him and leave him completely alone. Him and his horse." She paused to let that sink in.
Both Cristina and Alex shared a look before turning to stare at Izzie again. "How?" They questioned in unison.
Izzie's smile widened. "It's simple really. The only friend, the only person, Derek Shepherd has…is Mark Sloan. Sure, he has Mr. Ed, but Mark is his only HUMAN companion. If we take that away…then he has nothing."
Alex and Cristina frowned. "So…you want to take McSteamy away from McDipshit?" Alex asked with a snort.
Cristina rolled her eyes. "This is definitely a plan Barbie would concoct."
"It's perfect. He'll have no one. He will be alone. It'll be him…and Mr. Ed." Izzie told them with a triumphant expression. She had been the one, after all, to come up with a legitimate plan to destroy Derek. Alex and Cristina's plans were too hostile for them to go through with without being thrown in prison.
"Izzie, he's capable of getting new friends." Cristina sighed.
Izzie snorted. "No, he isn't. Who will he be friends with? Callie? No. She's friends with you and doesn't like him. Then there's Chief, who is the Chief. He doesn't have friends. He has peasants. Oh! Oh, then there's Bailey. Yeah, totally not his friend. He has no friends other than Mark and really has no options for making friends. No one wants to be friends with him. Hell, no one wants to talk to him. They know that by talking to him they're going to be guilty by association and drug into this horrible mess that is our lives. The only people brave enough to spend any amount of time with him are Mark Sloan and…well, okay Mr. Ed isn't brave, she's just stupid." Her eyes lit up with vicious joy. "The plan is perfect! He will have no one but his horse."
Alex and Cristina rolled their eyes and began eating again. Izzie jumped to her feet with a determined expression. Maybe they didn't believe her. Maybe they didn't trust her plan, but by god they were going to. She was going to succeed. She was going to destroy Derek Shepherd by stealing Mark Sloan.
At that, Izzie stomped off and Cristina looked to Alex. "This plan is bound to backfire."
"Bad." Alex snorted.
"How did she come up with this crackpot scheme anyway?" Cristina questioned confused as she pushed her long curly hair back out of her face in irritation.
Alex laughed. "I caught her watching a marathon of 'The Hills' this morning. She'd just come off some huge surgery with Sloan and was too wired to sleep. Apparently Izzie found deeper life meaning in 'The Hills'. She said Derek is the Heidi or something. She thinks if she alienates Shepherd then he'll end up miserable and alone…with Spencer." He frowned. "She's psycho."
"It could work, but not by stealing Mark Sloan." Cristina told him, ignoring the fact that he was preparing to go off on a tangent about how strange Izzie could be some times.
"Yeah, I know. We're gonna end up stuck with McSteamy for the rest of eternity. It's really not worth it." Alex said as he allowed his elbows to rest on the table. "But you know Izzie, once she's put her mind to something…there's no stopping her."
Just then, Meredith walked up and sat down at the table across from them. She frowned. "Where was Izzie going in such a hurry?"
Alex and Cristina shared a look before shrugging their shoulders and continuing to eat. What Meredith didn't know, couldn't come back to bite her in the butt. Meredith sighed. "I hope she hasn't fallen for another heart patient. We just don't have the time for that right now."
- - - - - - - - - -
End of Prologue!
- - - - - - - - - -
Well? Feedback? Please?
I'll try to post more soon!