-Zelda, come here.
-Why?
-Just come here already!
-Ahhh! What are you doing!
-It won't stop, I need to… OW!
-Let me go!
-Ok, ok! OW! STOP!
-If you ask nicely, then maybe I'll listen.
-Zelda, please come here.
-I didn't hear.
-Would her Highness come here and let me do it?
-Better.
-May I?
-Yes, you may.
-Could you… remove your dress?
-WHAT? Why?
-I can't reach it otherwise.
-… Fine.
-Ok just… spread your legs a bit…
-Can you see it?
-No, I need to… Ah there it is!
-Please, be gentle… OW!
-Ahhh! Sorry! Sorry! OUCH! NO DON'T! DON'T!
-Start over. GENTLY.
-Ok, ok, jeez… no need to squeeze so much…
-Well, if you would just be gentle for a change…
-Just hold still…
-Isn't it… a little too big?
-No, no, it's just fine.
-No, really… I'm not sure about this…
-Aww, you can't go back now!
-And why couldn't I?
-Because we're already this far! Now don't move… it'll feel better in a second…
-O-ok… YAAAOUUCH!
-Breathe and calm down, Zelda… Breathe…
-Breathe, breathe, breathe, IT'S THE ONLY THING I DO!
-Just… a few more… There, it feels better, doesn't it?
-… Yeah… Yeah, I guess it does... wait... IT'S BLEEDING!
-It's normal, Zelda. It'll stop in a minute... Now just need to... OWWWWW! WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU SQUEEZING AGAIN?
-It hurts! Stop it right now... or I chop it off!
-But I'm finished... There! Done!
Princess Zelda stood carefully not to wake the pain in her leg and Ganondorf rubbed the ear the princess had so savagely twisted and squeezed for the past few minutes.
-Well, you did a good job taking care of this wound, she said cheerfully, putting her dress back on. You may be an evil wizard, but you can be gentle when you want to.
Putting the needle and thread away, Ganondorf sighed, shook his head and smiled.