Akatsuki's New Apartment

Hey everyone! Akatsuki just got 2 new members…that can only mean one thing…a bigger apartment. Oh, I don't Naruto or anything related to it. Hope you like this!

Some Background… The previous day Zetsu went outside and found the following note attached to the door:

Boys, I've found two more members for Akatsuki, I want you to spend the day with them getting to know them. Oh, you are going to need to find a bigger apartment. The tall one is Hidan and the short one that looks like he's wearing glasses is Kakuzu.

-The Leader

"Deidara! Deidara! Get up you moron!" Itachi pulled the covers off Deidara's bed and Deidara went rolling to the floor. Itachi ran into the living room. "Kisame! Zetsu!" Itachi was running around like the drama queen that he was.

"Itachi calm down, they aren't here yet." Sasori said looking in the paper at new apartment listings.

"I don't know if I want these guys to live with us, yeah." Deidara said yawning, still wearing the pants thaht he slept in.

"I know Deidara, I'm afraid one of them will be hot too. But…neither of them could be hotter than me right? RIGHT?" Itachi was starting to panic.

"No, Itachi you'll still be the hottest of them all, yeah." Deidara said trying to comfort him. Deidara went back into his and Itachi's room to get dressed.

"Sasori, go get the extra robes and the black shirt, the pants, the net shirt...wait, just go get the extra stuff so we can fit the new guys." Kisame said. No one was real sure why there were so many extra robes and other Akatsuki attire…must have been a leader policy.

22 minutes later

There was a knock at the door. "Oh my god! They are here!" Zetsu said. Everyone nervously gathered around the door and Kisame pulled the door open. There they were…Hidan and Kakuzu.

"Hey! Come in, welcome to our apartment." Kisame said.

"Yeah, the neighbors hate us." Sasori remarked.

"Hey, you all have a nice place here? How long have you been here? How many bedrooms? Is the landlord nice? What's the community like? Is there much traffic on this street? Who lived across from you guys. I'm all in to religion! In particular Jashin. Oh, I'm rude, by the way I'm Hidan!" Yes, Hidan was a talker, the social type. Hidan grabbed Kisame's hand and he followed it up by grabbing everyone else's hand. "Oh, this is my partner Kakuzu."

"Hey…he pisses me off half the time. I swear I don't' know why I travel with him.

"Hey, man I totally see where you're coming from." Sasori said grabbing his hand and shooting eyes at Deidara. Hidan and Kakuzi sat on the couch in the living room.

"Okay, so I'm Kisame, this is my partner Itachi, Zetsu, Sasori and his partner Deidara."Kisame made the appropriate introductions.

"Oh my god, it's so great to meet you guys! I've heard so much about you guys…always doing evil stuff! Wow! I practice Jashin! It's just so great to be here and to finally meet you and to be a part of this organization and my partner he's so…" Kakuzu cut him off.

"They get it, Hidan, you don't have to elaborate."

"Hey, you guys want something to drink, yeah? I always get Diet Sprite at the store, yeah."

"Sure, we'd love something!" Hidan said. And Deidara went off into the kitchen to get the Diet Sprite.

"Okay, I guess the leader told you that we were going to have to get a new apartment since you guys are moving in with us?" Sasori asked. Hidan and Kakuzu answered yes.

"Well listen, here's the way we do things around here…me and Deidara…we're sexy…we share a room…always… because we share all the good clothes." Itachi was already feeling threatened that Hidan wasn't as ugly as Zetsu.

"You don't share clothes with him! You do the laundry and you take his stuff without telling him…and he's too stupid to figure it out until he gets in your closet to take something!" Kisame said. Itachi rolled his eyes and Deidara returned with Diet Sprite.

"So, are you two into parties?" Zetsu demanded.

"Actually, we like parties." Zakuzu said.

"Parties! Oh my god! We love parties! One time we went to this party…" Zakuzu cut him off.

"Enough Hidan."

"Good. Now, you said you practice Jashin? Does that religious practice let you drink?" Sasori wanted to know.

"Oh yes, Jashin lets you drink. Every time when I pray since I practice Jashin, I pray to the gods because it's Jashin and I practice it and yeah we both drink." Hidan said sipping the Diet Sprite.

"How much, yeah? How much do you two drink. Because we drink a lot, yeah…like every weekend, yeah." Hidan looked puzzled,

"You say yeah after your sentences…" he paused a minute. "Oh….you're blonde… that…okay…I, I get it now…you're one egg short of a dozen…" Deidara's brain was short circuiting at this point, he had no idea what Hidan was talking about. "Anyway we drink sometimes, but not a lot." Hidan said.

"Okay, you're going to have to change that real fast because we drink a lot around here…sometimes we actually think we drink too much…but we'll work on that." Itachi said.

"Well, what do you think of them? Kisame asked. The five of them turned around and started whispering…well trying to whisper.

"Why doesn't Hidan like my hair, yeah?" Deidara said in a whisper loud enough to be heard across the room. They whispered some more, then simultaneously all five of them turned around and looked at the two new inductees then returned to their huddle and whispered some more.

"Do you have any kind of evil philosophy?" Sasori asked. "Mine is evil is as evil as you make it."

"Mine is 'art is a bang', yeah. Oh! And I like birds, yeah" Deidara said a little too excited.

"Yeah, I think evil is all about plants that kill." Zetsu said.

"Ocean predators rock! Oh…and I love to kill." Kisame said.

"SASUKE! He's such a bitch…" Itachi said activating the sharingan and reaching for his rage pills.

"Oh my god! I take the same rage pills!" Hidan said. "Oh, and I believe in destroying everything."

"Congratulations! You two are so in!" the five pervious members declared. Welcome…Hidan and Kakuzu.