-1A/N: If you haven't seen the secret final mix trailer for kingdom hearts 2 then do so. It will inspire. Obviously I have been inspired, unfortunately it disrupts the majority of my plans for my soon to be series, therefore I am holding off on it until more detail is known(names for instance). In the meantime I've decided to try my hand at a humor story. Not sure how good I'll do, so wish me luck.

A/N 2: Many of the characters you see in this story will appear in my series although with totally different personalities, remember this is humor, and my first attempt as well. The secret trailer really is great, and now with my series being put on temporary hold(thankfully I never posted the first chapter; which is done). Anyway enjoy, if anyone has any ideas or contributions to make go right ahead.

Kingdom Hearts: Interviews!

Intro

"Hello! This is Cairo here from the television show, Interviews!" A young man late teens smiled exuberantly at the camera. The cameraman, a man in the late twenties shook his head at the youths enthusiasm. He briefly glanced behind him to see the director glaring at them from behind. He hoped the young man would speed things up, currently having a viper breathe down your neck was not something people liked.

"For the next month or so we will be interviewing some of the most important people in the galaxy. No lake, mountain, boiling lava pit, electrical storm, or deathly desert will prevent us from doing what we do best!" The youth paused, before taking a breath and continuing.

"In this special month long event we will be interviewing the Keyblade Masters, the Restoration Committee, Organization Thirteen, Maleficent and her "allies", the leading rulers of the worlds in the heart system, and more. So besides are own questions we need questions from you. Yes you. I see you there sitting behind your computer reading over these words and trying not to roll your eyes at the unoriginal thought gone into creating such a magnificent television show." Cairo took a step towards the camera and leaned forward, bringing his voice down to soft whisper.

"All the questions you've ever wanted to ask are only moments away, and to make sure they tell the complete truth, a good friend of the director has agreed to lend us some truth telling potion. For those of you wondering this said potion is highly illegal in eight sectors of the universe, to get your hands on this highly illegal substance and maybe some love potions as well, merely call 1-800-POTIONS."

The director a fiery red-haired woman held up a finger and made a slashing motion across her throat. Cairo saw this and chuckled nervously, he grinned back into the camera and began again.

"But I'm not here to advertise, so forget what I just said. As I was saying the truth will be open to all, there darkest secrets, hidden crushes, personal life, thoughts and ideas will be laid bare. Ours for the taking. Now I haven't actually signed anything allowing me to do this…but when do I ever?"

"For those of your wondering we are in the heart section of the galaxy, the little area in space that no one really cares for, but ends up creating the most trouble. Our first interview will be with the Organization member Xemnas. Don't ask how we're going to be able to do this, just believe we've taken many, many pains."

The cameraman snorted causing Cairo and the director to glare at him. He couldn't help it, the only pain they went through to get to the World-that-never-was was a simple bribe from a certain red-haired member of the Organization. This same man had given them Xemnas' code combination for both his room and the castle. In exchange they had merely had to fork over a bit of information about twilight town…like where it was located for instance. That man may have been able to fight well, may have been able to sneak out of the World-that-never-was, but one thing he could not do was figure out directions to save his life. He had been heading in the exact opposite direction when they had found him.

"As I was saying, we've gone through many hardships,(the cameraman snorted) but in the end all will be worth it. Basically we just want permission from Xemnas to interro…err question his members, note I said want. We really just want to try and interrogate the Organization in order . It should not be too hard, especially with the amount of blackmail the red-headed member gave us."

"Now, let's begin." Cairo walked towards the large gray and white castle, stopping briefly to dance around a Dusk. They entered the castle with no problem. Sure, there were guards, but they had recently struck up a game of poker and ignored them. Cairo inched forward to see what they were playing for but stepped back when he saw what it was. The Nobodies were quite obviously gambling with a large member of female and male unmentionables.

Cairo's P.O.V. (I'm going to switch it to Cairo's point of view, this way I can find out what way people prefer)

If I had thought the Nobodies at the door were creepy it did not compare to the floating ones creating a bunch of blocks and dropping them on each other's head. When they saw us, we were pelted with large square blocks, what was sad was they did not hit us once. Apparently they were defective because they got angry and flew into a wall, knocking themselves out and falling to the ground far below. With this final act the way to Xemnas was completely open.

If Axel was to believed all the other members were currently assembled on different worlds…meaning we would have to go search for them. I doubted that Xemnas would allow us to interview him right away, but who knows? He could surprise me.

How we were going to interview the rest of them would end up being the problem, I was fortunate to have found quite a few sponsors, S.S. Potions was one such company and I had many more as well. I would have to mention all of them within the base of our trip. For some reason I felt as if we would not make the deadline, although I'm always like that.

We finally reached Xemnas room, two Dusks were standing on either side of the door, it didn't look like they'd bother us however, they were fast asleep, we had actually seen two others nobodies within the castle. A Dusk and a Dancer were hiding in a closet, believe me when I tell you, you do NOT want to know why they were in the closet. Or what they were doing…

I knocked once on Xemnas door, he apparently did not hear it, so with a shared glance at my companions I burst open the door and we began to film.

"Here it is folks, the room of Xemnas himself, look around-" I stopped, I couldn't breathe. Rather than his room being completely black it was covered with Poster's of Maleficent and Radiant Garden's very own Yuffie. Apparently rumors of him being gay were false, although I shuddered at a picture of the entire organization in a group photo. I looked closer and realized little hearts were drawn above Saix, although it could have been himself, they had been standing awfully close. Maybe rumors of his sexuality were still in question after all. Daemon swirled the camera around in barely contained glee.

Swallowing I looked around the room and noticed that the room was obviously lacking the main person we had come to see. A stuffed heartless(at least I hoped it was stuffed) sat on the bed, underneath I noticed a small note.

"What have we here folks? It seems the Xemnas in question is missing in action, are search has just begun. As you can see by his room questions of his sexuality can only be answered by one person him…" I pointed to the posters of Maleficent and Yuffie, some of them were actually wearing very little, one of the Yuffie ones was not wearing anything at all. Yuffie in a birthday suit was not too bad, but for Xemnas it was horrible, how old was she, and him, anyway? Maleficent in a two piece bikini was simply disgusting, and nearly made Daemon puke, but what really got me was the fact the director was staring lustfully at a nude picture of Saix… It took my mind a minute to process what it had seen. Needless to say I was scarred for life, it looked like the director was as well, but not in the same way.

What really worried me is where Xemnas got all these posters I could never seen any of them… I shivered…even Saix doing any of those things. So how did Xemnas get the photos? I wrote a note to myself to ask it when we finally interviewed him. I finally looked down at the note.

"Well folks, you can not see some of these posters and believe me when I say it is a good thing. Xemnas may not be here but it looks like we have a lead to a different member. Here's what a note from Xemnas said to Axel."

Number Eight,

I've received word that someone is searching for me, therefore I've decided to disappear from here for awhile. I will not tell you my location. It would be just like you to sell my location to anyone who is looking for me.

I've left an item in the care of Xaldin, I wish for you to go and pick it up and bring it back to the Castle. It is important in furthering my plans. Xaldin was last seen at Beast's Castle. So get a move on it and go find him! Get me my item, so that we can finally finish Kingdom Hearts!

Sincerely,

Superior

P.S. If I find you putting any more posters in here as disgusting as the last few, so help me, you will be doing kitchen duty for a year.

P.S.S. Twilight Town is to the east not the west

"There you have it folks, apparently Xemnas has gone into hiding, which brings to question how he knew we were coming for him. Apparently we have a spy in our ranks…or someone overheard us talking. Only he knows." I heard the director cough and noticed her subtle hand gesture towards the time. The video we were taping on was nearing the end of its tape.

"We may be letting Xemnas go, but it looks like we have a new victim. Next stop Beast's Castle, hopefully finding Xaldin will go better than finding Xemnas. Until next time, Ciao."

A/N: There you have it, the first part done, an intro of sorts. This is going to have its own story to it with a plot besides the normal interviews. The interviewing will start next chapter and it will be Xaldin. So be sure to send any questions you want answered in a review and if you like you can make a question and answer and I'll throw it in the story.

Next Interview: Xaldin and Cogsworth. So send in your questions!