Title: Softly We Say Goodbye
Author: Sifirela
Notes: I'm sure you're wondering what the hell I'm thinking, not continuing this story. But it hit me a few days ago; this could be a better side-story than a chapter story. So here you go. It is not revised. But it is a clue to what happens to the Ronins in Saving Grace.
Summary: He was aware of the fact that he would be questioned deeply, and all the answers he had stored in his memories. He was, by chance, the only one there to see it happen, but could do nothing to help…or take control…
Softly We Say Goodbye
Side Story to "Saving Grace"
Slight rain pelted against the window. It looked very dreary outside while a young man looked out with solemn eyes. He was sitting on a settee near the window, with his knees propped up against his chest and his arms resting around his legs.
It had been a long time since he had sat here, in this very house. His eyes wandered from their previous setting and looked around the room. Beige walls, a couple of beds, a settee he occupied, a closet, dresser, and a few other furniture and wall-paintings adorned the room in a neat fashion.
Ryo sighed, putting down his feet onto the carpet and cracking his toes. He stood up, stretching a little before trekking towards the bathroom adjacent to where he was sitting. He went in and looked at his sallow skin, the bags under his eyes defining the very little sleep he had gotten within the last week.
He turned when he heard a knock on the door. "Come in." He replied in a soft voice. Apparently the person on the other side of the door had heard him, because a very pretty woman walked in just as he turned to greet her. "Hi Mia," He said, his eyes drooping a little. Her face showed her sadness, her guilt, everything that he wanted her not to feel. It made him uncomfortable to have someone feel sorry for him, much less feel sympathy for something nobody would and/or could understand.
It was even new to him.
"Hey Ry, how are you feeling?" Mia asked; keeping her feet planted in the doorway.
Ryo felt annoyance prickle under his skin. It was the third time in three hours she had asked him this obvious question. Of course he was alright, of course he was feeling so very fantastic over this little news he heard. Of course he was happy. Of course he was; he had to be. He stopped using the words 'of course' because they were getting very annoying. It sounded like a mantra he had to pay homage too every day to his sadness that welled up into his throat.
It was an unbelievable change in the whole world around him. It was getting bigger and bigger without that person in his life. He opted to stay with Mia for the funeral, for to help her cope with what was to come. He knew realistically of how she felt over this, but--she couldn't come close to understanding the strange feeling of having a part of yourself being ripped out of you in one sitting--right before your eyes.
"I'm feeling fine, Mia." Ryo said stiffly, not quite looking at her.
Mia let out a sigh. Ryo noticed that her face was slimmer and paler than normal. Feeling guilty, he gave her a reassuring smile. "I'm alright. I promise Mia."
Mia let out a sob, "But I'm not."
Ryo was right by her side in mere moments. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her to him. "I'm sorry; I'm not much of a friend." His guilt really intensified. Dammit. He should have been there more often instead of hiding out in his room most of the two days he had been there.
"No, don't think that, Ryo. You have every right, every right to be alone. I just…I didn't want to be alone." Mia admitted. "I feel stupid." She tried to make a joke but failed miserably.
It made him smile a little but he continued to hug her. "He wouldn't want us to be sad." Ryo whispered against her forehead in which he kissed lightly.
Mia nodded with a sigh. "I know, but still--it's hard."
"It is hard. Nobody said it would be easy. But this is the path he chose to take." He slightly winced at how cold he sounded but Mia seemed to not catch it. She merely nodded again. They stayed like this for a few more minutes until she shakily let go.
"I've got a lot of work to do. And you have a few friends downstairs that are waiting for you." Mia smiled, stepping away from his comforting arms.
Ryo inwardly grimaced. He did not want to face them. After all, it felt like it was his fault--no actually it was his fault. He wiped a hand over his face, closing his eyes as an oncoming headache pounded its way into the corner of his temple.
Mia tilted her head. "Ryo--what happened wasn't your fault. You know that, don't you? The guys won't hold it against you."
"Sure, sure." Ryo waved her off with annoyance. She really didn't get it. Calmly he sighed, trying to reassure his nerves and his aching head. Mia seemed to understand the gesture and nodded. She pivoted and walked out of the bathroom and room, closing the door silently behind her.
Ryo rubbed his temples again on each side…the headache had intensified with every stroke. He stopped what he was doing and looked at himself one more time in the mirror, contemplating if he should go face the music or just hide one more hour up here to think… He couldn't leave them out the loop. Most of them wouldn't want to speak to him after they were revealed the real reason behind their beloved comrade's death…Ryo closed his eyes…
He had to face the music, whether he liked it or not. It was their right to know.
He poured water into his opened and cupped hands and splashed it onto his face in an unceremoniously fashion. Ryo let out a shaky breath, turning and walking out the door. He was aware of the fact that he would be questioned deeply, and all the answers he had stored in his memories. He was, by chance, the only one there to see it happen, but could do nothing to help…or take control…
Ryo shook his mind free of the dark thoughts and looked one more time at the room before closing the door, taking his fate with a gulp of water.