The Talk

Part 1

Korra's face drastically pales. This is something Korra never imagined would happen. Most males around her age are or should be… uh, well-educated about this, considering teenage hormones and all. And Mako, he should definitely know about this, especially being Bolin's older brother. Someone had to explain to the earthbender how babies are made. Korra shakes her head at the firebender in front of her. Mako must be joking. Yes, this is some kind of a cruel joke. She can't even fathom the prospect of—oh dear… he is serious.

"You don't know what sex is?" Korra nearly shrieks at the teenager casually lounging on the couch.

Mako frowns as he rolls his eyes exaggeratedly. "Gee, let's just shout it for the rest of Republic City to hear. I bet that even the airbending kids, far away on Air Temple Island, are now aware that I don't know what sex is."

"Y-You…" Korra shakes her head. "You mean that no one has ever given you the…" she pauses, struggling to find the right words.

"Given me what?" Mako asks, genuinely confused at Korra's strange behavior.

Korra's eyes shift side to side, scanning the brothers' apartment for any hidden eavesdroppers or underage airbenders. Then she leans towards Mako, her lips lightly brushing against his ear. She hesitates for one moment, but then slowly begins to move her lips. "The Talk," she quietly hisses.

Mako raises an eyebrow as he turns to look at the young Avatar. "The Talk?"

Korra nods in dead seriousness. "Yes Mako, the Sex Talk"

"Uh… no," Mako casually answers. "Do I need to remind you—again—that I honestly don't know anything about sex?"

Korra twitches slightly as she struggles to compose herself. "Seriously? You're eighteen years old."

Clearly puzzled, Mako frowns. "And what does age have to do with it?"

Oh, for the love of…

"Seriously Korra, what's the big deal about this?"

Korra fights the urge to repeatedly slam her head onto the windowsill until she succumbs to unconsciousness. How is it possible for him to be so… so oblivious to the natural process of human reproduction and pleasure? "Have you ever wondered where babies come from?" she asks in a somewhat hopeful tone. Mako has to at least know this one. And he better not say that flying lemurs…

"Flying lemurs drop babies off on the doorsteps of the homes of expectant parents."

"…"

"What? That's what my mother always told me."

Spirits!

Still stunned and sufficiently horrified, Korra slowly moves towards the couch and makes herself comfortable next to Mako, placing her left arm over his shoulders. She looks at him, almost pitying his lack of… uh, sexual education. "Mako, there are no flying lemurs in the South Pole. Where do you think I came from?"

"Eh, polar bear dogs delivered you to your parents?" Mako suggests with a hesitant smile.

Korra lets out an exasperated sigh. "Oh, Mako…" She glances at the area in between Mako's legs. "You do know what this is for, right?" she bluntly asks, pointing at his crotch.

Mako's face immediately reddens and he moves to the other side of the couch, putting as much distance between them and showing a great deal of discomfort towards the Avatar who is currently eying his private parts. "O-Of course I do!" he stutters. "It's for eliminating my… my bodily fluids!" he quickly answers. "And stop looking there!"

Korra rolls her eyes and lets out a weary sigh. This is worse than she had previously thought. "Mako, have you ever touched yourself there…" she gulps and her face turns a brilliant shade of red, "…and felt good about it?"

Mako blinks. "Uh… no," he answers in an unsure voice. "I don't usually have… or spend time… um, touching myself." He looks at Korra, wondering if that's the answer she is looking for.

Korra, with her face still blushing, glances awkwardly out the window. "So, you've never explored your body… for fun?"

"I just said that I don't spend time touching myself." Mako narrows his eyes at Korra. "Where are you going with this?"

Korra sits still in her spot—very still actually—slowly processing the new information about her firebending teammate. Then suddenly, her eyes widen upon realization that Mako has never masturbated. "That explains everything! No wonder why you're always so cranky!" she loudly exclaims, voicing her thoughts despite Mako being nearby.

"Hey!" Mako protests, clearly annoyed at Korra. "My lack of knowledge in… uh, this topic does not result in my crankiness," Mako pauses, "…However, perhaps my prolonged exposure to a certain hotheaded, impulsive Avatar has contributed to my high stress levels, thus leading me to act as if I have a stick up my ass."

Korra frowns at his comment, but decides to disregard it… for the moment. "You," she firmly states, pointing her finger at Mako, "are sexually frustrated." She then smirks at his mortified reaction.

"I am not!" he objects. Then he stops himself, unsure of what sexual frustration actually is. "Am I?" he asks in a quiet, and almost frightened, voice.

Despite her best efforts, Korra is unable to restrain her laughter at Mako's obvious discomfort. "Perhaps an actual stick up your ass would do you some good," Korra suggests in an amused voice.

"Wait, what?" Mako gives Korra an incredulous look and instantly jumps up from the couch, his brain finally processing her crude suggestion. "You're crazy!"

"So you do know about sex?" Korra, clad in her training uniform, tosses a heavy ball at Bolin's chest.

Bolin catches the large ball with ease before tossing it back to her. "Uh-huh, I know everything about it."

"Really?" Korra asks as she catches the ball. She frowns, trying to decide if Mako was pulling a trick on her back at the apartment.

"You sound surprised," Bolin comments. Then he narrows his eyes suspiciously. "You're not going to make me give you the Talk, are you?" he pauses, waiting for a response. Getting a moment of silence as an answer, Bolin decides to continue. "Look, I know you've spent your entire childhood training to be the next great Avatar, but I'm sure the White Lotus guys or someone at least explained how female and male bodies work… together."

Korra shudders at the thought of a White Lotus elder giving her the Talk. Luckily for her, no such event ever occurred. "Don't worry. My mom explained all of it after I had my first period at thirteen."

Bolin lets out a relieved sigh. "Okay, good. That would have been extremely awkward and potentially dangerous to our friendship." A nervous laugh escapes him. "So, why are we talking about sex?"

Korra takes a deep breath. "Because apparently, your older brother doesn't know how babies are made."

The ball in Bolin's hand drops to the floor, resulting in a resounding thud as the earthbender struggles to compose himself. "Whoa… Are you serious?"

"He thinks that flying lemurs drop babies on people's doorsteps," Korra says in an exasperated voice. "…And that polar bear dogs do the same in the South Pole."

Bolin nervously chuckles, taking a precautionary step back from the Avatar. "Well, that is a good explanation to tell a five year old."

"And you!" Korra suddenly shouts, stepping forward and jabbing her finger into Bolin's chest in an accusing manner. "Don't sound so surprised! You're his brother."

Bolin holds up his hands in defense and smiles sheepishly at Korra. "Hey, hey! I really am surprised… but at the same time, it does make sense."

Korra stares at him. "What makes sense?"

"Well, Mako has…" Bolin pauses for a moment, "…Mako has a focused mind. And he's very focused on whatever he's focusing on."

"Okay..." Korra says, not yet convinced by Bolin's 'focused' explanation.

"And the things he likes to focus on are work, pro-bending, me, pro-bending, pro-bending, pro-bending, and—am I forgetting anything?—oh yeah, and Pabu too!"

Korra blinks. "You repeated pro-bending several times."

"He's very focused on pro-bending," Bolin replies with a serious voice, and an equally serious face, before continuing. "And since he's so focused on work, pro-bending, me, pro-bending—"

"Oh, get on with it!" Korra interrupts.

Bolin frowns and briefly considers earthbending an earth disk at her. "Anyways, before I was so rudely interrupted…" he glances at Korra and she sticks her tongue out in response, "…Since Mako is so focused on the things I've already said, he doesn't have time to get… acquainted with his needs."

Korra inclines her head slightly at Bolin's plausible explanation. "Wait a second… If Mako didn't teach you about sex, then how did you learn about it?"

"Uh, let's save that story for another time," Bolin answers far too quickly to evade suspicion.

Korra narrows her eyes, but then decides to remind herself to interrogate him at a later time. "Okay, but someone is going to need to tell Mako how sex and masturbation work."

"Eeww!" Bolin blanches at the thought of his brother… jerking off. "Korra, that's gross!"

Korra simply shrugs, finding nothing disgusting at all. "What? It's important for him to know."

Bolin grimaces as he tries to rid his mind of the image of a very naked Mako during his happy time. "I am not giving the Sex Talk to my big brother. That is not in the job description of being a lovable younger brother. You're the Avatar, savior of the world or whatever! You do it!"

"Me?" Korra asks in an exaggerated and incredulous voice. "Giving your brother a sexual education isn't in the job description of being an Avatar either!"

Bolin scoffs. "You're supposed to keep balance in the world! And since Mako is part of the world, that means you're supposed to keep balance in Mako! So balance him out by giving him a sexual education!" Bolin then stops himself. "That sounded wrong," he adds in an apologetic tone.

Korra cringes and quickly brings up a hand to shield her face, hoping that Bolin would not see her bright red cheeks. "I'm still not doing it," she manages to squeak out.

Then the door slides open and a whistling Mako casually strolls in. "Sorry I'm late," he says as he drops his bag to the side and walks over to his silent teammates. "Uh, is there something wrong?"

Both Bolin and Korra avert their eyes from Mako, unable to face the firebender without either bursting into laughter or turning into a bright tomato. Unfazed at the two's strange behavior, Mako picks up the forgotten ball and tosses it to Bolin. "Come on, guys. We need to practice. We have a match soon."

Before moving to their places, Bolin nudges Korra with his elbow. "You do it," he sharply whispers.

Korra is about to protest when the ball hits her chest with enough force to briefly knock the wind out of her. She glares at Mako for using such unnecessary force and only receives a shrug in response. Then she hears Bolin laughing and decides to vent her frustrations on him.

"Hey Korra, why are you smiling like that…? Hold on—no, wait!"

There is a loud cry of pain as a certain earthbender flies back twenty feet and slams into the nearby nets.

"Korra…" Bolin groans as he picks himself up. "What did you do that for?"

Korra, dusting the imaginary dirt from her hands, smiles in satisfaction at her handiwork.

Sometime after practice, Korra manages to solve Mako's… predicament. She figures that since she—being a female and all—is an unsuitable candidate for the task of explaining sex to Mako, she would need to find a suitable, adult male who is knowledgeable about the reproductive system and is well-versed in the art of educating stubborn teenagers.

And who's better than Master Tenzin to do the job? Korra asks herself. After all, he's done it at least four times.

"Korra, why did you drag me to Air Temple Island?"

"Because my young firebender, as the Avatar, I am responsible for maintaining balance in the world; therefore, I am also responsible for maintaining balance in you," Korra says in an uncharacteristic sage-like voice. She gives Mako a grave look. "Your chakras are very unbalanced."

"And how are my chakras unbalanced?" Mako inquires dryly. "Do you even know anything about chakras?" he quickly adds with a skeptical look.

Korra lets out a nervous cough, hoping that Mako wouldn't press the matter. "Anyways… you have spent too much time focusing on work, pro-bending, Bolin, pro-bending, pro-bending, pro-bending, and Pabu. It's leading you to a very unbalanced life."

In response, Mako merely raises an eyebrow at her. "You repeated pro-bending several times."

"You are very focused on pro-bending," Korra calmly retorts. "And be thankful that I'm helping you," she adds with a sharp tongue. "I could be doing something else more important like… like practicing airbending or shopping with Bolin!"

"Then I am honored to have the Avatar assist me in maintaining balance in my life," Mako deadpans with a roll of his eyes. He almost smirks at Korra's now flustered appearance.

If it were anyone else besides Mako or Bolin, Korra would simply turn heel and abandon the poor bloke, leaving him to suffer a very unbalanced life. But nope, it just so happens to be Mako who's in desperate need of a sexual education. "Come on," she says as she grabs his arm, pulling him towards the temple building her past life had built so long ago.

"Korra!" Mako shouts as he attempts to wiggle his arm from her strong grip—and failing to do so. "What the hell is going on?"

"I'm going to taint your virgin mind," she replies in a far-too-cheerful voice for Mako's liking.

"You're going to do what to my—"

"Oh, look! There's Tenzin." Korra spots the airbending master meditating in a nearby pavilion and proceeds to make her way towards him, dragging a struggling Mako along. "Master Tenzin!" Korra calls out, oblivious to the firebender who's trying to escape.

Tenzin cracks open one eye and debates whether he should acknowledge the young Avatar's presence or not. He already had an airbending session with her in the morning. What more could she want? From the far-too-happy look on her face, Tenzin can safely assume that the Avatar is—once again—up to no good. Perhaps it would be wise for him to continue mediating and ignore her…

No, he can't simply ignore her. As Korra's airbending master—though he is the only airbending master in the world—he has been entrusted to teach her the sacred art of airbending and aid her in whatever obstacles she faces as the Avatar—even the most ridiculous ones concerning silly crushes and boys.

"Master Tenzin!" Korra calls out again.

Tenzin lets out a heavy sigh and watches the overexcited Avatar and her not-so-excited friend stand in front of him. "Yes?" he drawls in a bored and weary tone, patiently waiting for a response.

"I… eh, we need your help with something—"

"Patience, Korra," Tenzin cuts in. "Patience is the key to everything."

"You didn't even let me finish!"

"Patience…"

"Master Tenzin, if I continue to be patient and ignore the matter at hand, then Mako is going to continue living a very miserable existence and it'll be completely your fault!" Korra snarls, her free hand curling into a tight fist.

Tenzin narrows his eyes, perplexed that his 'patience' suggestion is not the suitable answer for Korra's current predicament—or for getting rid of the Avatar. And… oh dear!—is her hand on fire?

"Korra, what are you talking about?" Tenzin asks while nervously watching the precarious flames dance in the Avatar's hand.

"Master Tenzin, I need you to give Mako the Talk." She extinguishes the flames in her hand and shoves the said boy towards the airbending master. Mako stumbles over his feet but manages to compose himself, trying to look dignified in the eyes of the wise councilman despite just being manhandled by a teenage girl.

For a brief moment, Tenzin wonders what sort of predicament would lead the young man in front of him to live—in Korra's words—a very miserable existence, and how it would be the airbender's fault. From what he can see, Mako looks to be in perfect health. Perhaps the young man is in desperate need of spiritual guidance. Tenzin then smiles to himself, happy to spread his spiritual wisdom to the next generation.

"Master Tenzin!" Korra nearly shrieks, snapping her airbending master from his joyous thoughts of spiritually enlightening the youth. "You need to give Mako the Talk," she repeats.

"What kind of talk?"

"The Sex Talk."

Tenzin's eyes widen. At a loss for words, Tenzin's face begins to change to various shades of purple and red, before he manages to compose himself. "Korra," he begins, "…maybe you should be the one explaining this to him. You are a healer; therefore, you should be knowledgeable about the functions of the human body." Or bodies, he refrains from adding.

"Yeah, yeah…" Korra mutters quietly. Even though she is knowledgeable about a certain bodily function—especially after all the medical details Katara had drilled into her head—she isn't particularly keen to be the one explaining sex to Mako. After all, he is her pro-bending captain and such hazardous information could potentially jeopardize the Fire Ferrets' teamwork in matches. "But I, as the Avatar, need to focus on more pressing matters at hand… like helping Pema around the house!"

Tenzin frowns, his expression inscrutable.

"And you're a male!" Korra quickly adds. "A male with plenty of experience!"

"…"

"Pema is going to be upset if no one babysits the kids."

"Oh, alright," Tenzin concedes, not wanting to deal with a very frustrated and very pregnant wife later. He then strokes his beard in a thoughtful manner, narrowing his eyes at Mako. "This is indeed an important matter that needs to be addressed immediately. However, usually the parents are the ones who are to inform their children of… such information."

"Due to unfortunate circumstances, Mako's parents aren't around anymore," Korra responds with a cross of her arms.

"I see." Tenzin motions for Mako to sit. "Then we should begin now."

Mako clears his throat. "Do I get a say in this?"

"No," Tenzin and Korra chorus in unison.

"T-That's supposed to go in there?"

"Yes, Mako," Tenzin lets out a sigh for the umpteenth time in the past hour. "…The penis does go up the vagina."

"And it's supposed to feel good?"

"Yes."

Mako stares blankly at Tenzin. "So, the sperm and the egg…"

"Would you like a textbook on this? I can pick one up at the library for you."

Mako's cheeks redden. "Uh, no thanks… sir."

"Are there any other questions you have?" Tenzin asks dryly, eager for the discussion to end.

"T-There is one…" Mako begins to fidget. "I heard about something called oral sex, but I'm still unclear on what it is."

Tenzin's eyes widen before he quickly takes a casual pose—or rather, a forcibly causal pose. "Think about what oral means, and then think about what you've just learned today."

A look of horror dawns on Mako's face. "That's what we use to go to the bathroom!" he exclaims with his face twisted up in disgust.

"Would you like to know anything else?" Tenzin asks again.

Mako immediately shakes his head and moves to stand. "No thanks," he quickly says. "Now I'm going to have to explain this sex stuff to Bolin," he quietly mutters with dread.

"You won't need to."

"…"

"I already explained this to your brother a few weeks ago."

"Well?" Korra asks expectantly. "Did you learn a lot?"

Mako doesn't answer. Instead he brushes past her, grumbling something about a pesky little Avatar.

A/N: There's going to be a part 2 and maybe a part 3—depending if I feel like writing more or not. Hope you enjoyed this crackish story.

Feedback would be appreciated, so please don't forget to drop a review.

:)