A/N: I love All Saints! And here is one of my stories about it. Please let me know what you think, even if you don't like it at all! Reviews make my day anyway! =)
Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Chapter one
"Nelson! Nelson, open the door!"
Nelson was lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. He was feeling terrible, and now Terri was on his doorstep. He groaned inwardly. Just when you thought things could not get any worse…
He got up and let her in. they looked at each other.
"Nelson, please, talk to me!" Terri pleaded with him.
"Oh, right, and this is the part of the show where I talk about the way I feel, isn't it?" he snapped.
"Would that be such a bad thing?"
Nelson turned away. Silence fell between them. Minutes passed without either one of them saying a word.
Suddenly Nelson could hear Terri walking towards him. She lay her hand on his shoulder. Softly but determinedly she made him face her. She saw the pain and sadness in his eyes, the heavy burden of guilt that weighed him down.
Terri pulled him in for a hug. That gesture of kindness was Nelson's undoing. He had longed for this, to find someone who cared about him. He clung to her, his tears pouring freely down his cheeks.
They stood there for quite some time. Nelson's tears became silent sobs before coming to a complete stop. Nelson pushed Terri at arm's length and look straight into her eyes.
There was something on his face Terri could not name. Or did not dare to name. she got up.
"I have to go, it's getting late and I still have to drive all the way home," she softly said.
"You're right. I should be cleaning this mess up before I got to bed," he agreed whilst gesturing around the living room.
He waved her to the door, following close behind. He opened it for her, trying to find the right words to say what was on his mind. But none came, and he decided to play safe.
"Thank you," he said.
"You're welcome," she answered.
Terri now stood in the doorway. Her brown hair had gotten lose from her ponytail. A few strands hung over her shoulders. It made her seem so young and fragile, a sight Nelson had connected to her once too often since Mitch had passed away.
He raised a hand and softly tucked the hair behind her ears. His hand lingered on her cheek for a moment.
Suddenly Nelson kissed her. She stood still for a second, but the softness of the kiss made her give into him. When the kiss ended, he looked at her.
Terri's face was flustered. Her cheeks had turned red, her hand was now touching her bottom lip.
"I… I have to go," she stammered. She all but ran off and got in her car.
Nelson felt sorry for what he had done. He had scared Terri away. He had blown every chance he had at something more than the friendship they had built together. How could he have been so stupid?
He walked into the kitchen. In the cupboard underneath the sink he still had a bottle of rum. He grabbed a glass, filled it to the rim and stared at it. He fought against the urge to drink it. But he knew he was too weak to succeed.
It had been four years since he had drunk. Today, after everything that had happened, he remembered how good it had felt when the alcohol numbed all his senses. How the blissful oblivion would be a welcome chance to the pain he had experienced today.
Deep down he knew the oblivion would make the pain and the guilt twice as hard when they came back. But the suppressed that thought. Nothing mattered anymore. His hand closed around the glass en he drank it down in one.
A little while later he was laying on his couch again, an empty bottle on the floor next to it. He could not even see clearly anymore.
The next morning he came in to work. Late. Half an hour late to be exact. It felt as if it was going to be one hell of a day again.
Terri was distant. She gave him his patients' files. That was all. She didn't even stay to give some explanation. She disappeared into her office. She filled out the admission form and other papers laying on her desk. She called Joan Marden and fought with the head of nurses. Her day was not at all that different. And yet something bugged her.
She decided she would settle this during lunch. She had to settle this. She couldn't keep avoiding Nelson. Or treat him coldly and distantly, for that matter. He was one of her best nurses, and her best friend besides Von! She couldn't sacrifice all that because she believed to have taken advantage of his last night. She ignored the little voice in her head that told her there might be a different reason entirely to all of this.
But why wait? It suddenly crossed her mind. She had better act while she could. So she took her chance when it came along.
When Nelson walked into her office to draw up the new rosters, everything was tense. She had the impression he would rather have been anywhere else but there, in one room with her. Unbeknown to her, this was true. But Nelson did not say a word.
"There we go, now the only ones we have to fit in are Von and Frances," Nelson spoke.
He now pushed his chair back and took his leave. When he had gotten to the door, Terri could not take it any longer.
"Nelson, why can't we talk about it?"
"What's there to say than that I've made a big mistake?"
"I just want to know whether we're still friend, whether everything is just like it was before."
"Of course it is! Nothing changed, you know," were the last words he spoke before making his way to room three.
Terri was relieved he thought about it like that. But a little sad as well. She had waisted the one chance she had on love after Mitch had died…
"You asked me before whether everything was still the same, whether anything had changed."
Nelson was sitting opposite Terri. He had just walked into her office without even knocking.
She nodded, wordlessly telling him that was indeed what she had asked him last time they had spoken.
"Well, to be honest, Terri, a lot has changed. I have fallen in love with you."
He left her bewildered and confused.
That evening Nelson's letter of resignation was laying on her desk. She knew she had to act quickly now. But where could he have gone to? What if he had already left?
She ran down the stairs, all the way to the parking lot. He had to have taken the same route she was taking now.
And he had. He came into view as she ran through the hospital doors. She barely managed to catch up with him.
As soon as she had, however, she handed him back the letter. She had a determined look on her face.
"I won't accept it, Nelson."
"Why won't you?" he asked her angrily and bitterly.
"Because you are one of my best nurses. You are one of my best friends. And I don't want to lose you because of the stupid mistake I made last night."
He was a little taken aback by those last words. She did not notice, however, because she had already begun walking back inside. She did, though, hear him say something before she was out of earshot.
"You didn't make a mistake, I did. And I don't want to lose you either."
When Terri was About to leave that evening, she saw Nelson was packing up his bag as well.
"I forgot to ask you something before," she admitted as soon as he noticed her standing behind him.
"And what did you want to ask me?" he inquired.
"Wouldn't you like to come to my house tonight and have dinner with me?"
"I would like that very much," he barely audibly said.
"It's a date then," Terri smiled. "Come by at seven, I'll have dinner ready by then."
Two hours later there was a soft knock on the door. Terri greeted Nelson in a dark red dress that flowed just to her knees.
He could barely believe his eyes, she looked absolutely stunning. Her hear fell in curls over her shoulder blades. She appeared more at ease and more comfortable than he had ever seen her.
"Have a seat, dinner is being served."
He gladly accepted her offer and sat down at the table. He was feeling a little nervous about all of this. But he was determined to make the most of this. He might have been given one last chance to tell her how he felt, and he was not going to throw that away!
Terri and he ate in companiable silence. Both of them wanted to say so much, but neither one of the knew where to start. At last, Terri decided a more comfortable place than the dining room table would help the both of them relax.
"Let's go and sit down in the living room," she said.
She guided Nelson to her couch and told him to make himslef at home. She disappeared into the kitchen for a second before coming back with two glasses of mineral water.
She sat down beside Nelson, just close enough for her legs to touch his whenever either one of them moved. Her hand was so close to his that he could grab a hold of it whenever he wanted. It was hard for him not to do the same as he had done last night and just kiss her. So he slowly placed his hand next to her. When she did not pull away, he entwined their fingers.
She looked at him now.
"Last night I did make a mistake," she began. She lifted a hand when he was about to speak. "I walked away after you had kissed me. I shouldn't have done that. Frankly, I didn't want to. I was just scared that you might be feeling sorry for it this morning when you realized you had only done because you were feeling guilty over that young woman's death..."
She turned her face away from him now, tears forming in her eyes.
"Oh Terri..."
He made her look at him, smiling slightly as he did so.
"I didn't kiss you because I was feeling lonesome or guilty. I kissed you because I love you. I have for quite a while now. I just thought I had made a mistake last night because I scared you away."
At that revelation, it was her turn to smile.
"You could never scare me off, Nelson. You know why?"
He shook his head.
"Because I love you, too."
The End
xxx