Today was the big day. The day that Dipper Pines had been dreading all week long. It was a cool 67 degree day in Gravity Falls, a Friday.

The day of the fight.

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It all began last Friday, in the gift shop of the Mystery Shack. Dipper was cataloging some bobble heads, Mabel was folding and stacking t-shirts, Soos was busily sweeping the wooden floors, Wendy was sitting at the desk with a magazine and soda (as usual), and Stan was clutching his clipboard and barking orders.

"DIPPER, THEY COST $20, NOT $15! MABEL, THE YELLOW GOES ON TOP OF THE ORANGE! SOOS, SWEEP HARDER! WENDY, GET OF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND GET SOME WORK DONE!" he barked at his employees.

Wendy sighed. "Stan, what am I supposed to do? Soos is taking care of the floor, Mabel's got the shirts, Dipper's cataloging_ what other jobs are there?"

Stan opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn't find a proper argument to start. He growled and glared at Wendy. "You win this time, girl!" he snapped. "I'm heading out for a few hours." He clapped his fez onto his head and stormed out of the gift shop.

"Ugh! I just finished these, and now he wants me to COMPLETELY re-do it! Gosh, Grunkle Stan!" Mabel whined.

Dipper scoffed. "Exactly my thoughts, sister. Grunkle Stan just expects every little thing to be exactly the way he wants it. I just finished marking these at $15, and now he says they're $20!"

Mabel sniffed the air. "Do you smell anger, puberty, and a gallon of body spray?" she asked.

Just as she finished speaking, Robbie paraded in the door. He strode past the twins and Soos, heading straight to the desk. Wendy's face spread into a smile. He smirked back. "Hey. 'Sup, babe?" he asked.

"Oh, nothing." She kissed his cheek, and he leaned back on the desk. He looked over at the twins.

"What's up, dorks? Trying to come up with a new dorky mystery to solve?" he snickered.

Dipper gave him a sneer. "Actually Robbie, we're doing our job. You should try it sometime." Soos clapped his hand to his mouth and let out an 'ooh'.

Robbie glared at Dipper so harshly, it felt like the room went cold. Wendy finally made it warm again by interrupting the silence. "So…how was band rehearsal?" she asked Robbie.

He smiled and looked at her. "Oh, it was OK. Nate and Lee kept screwing up my amps on purpose just for laughs. But other than that, it was good." He wrapped an arm around her. "But it would have been better if you were there."

She blushed and giggled. "Babe, I would if I could. But stupid Stan keeps me here from 7 AM to 4 PM."

"What? That's ridiculous!"

"I know right!"

Mabel blushed a little and let out a quiet "Hi, Robbie." He raised an eyebrow at her. "Yeah…hi…" he said.

Wendy gave Robbie another kiss then stood up. "I'm gonna go buy some more sodas. Mabel, you wanna come with?"

"Would I!" Mabel pulled on her sweater and ran out the door after Wendy.

Dipper awkwardly looked at Robbie, who was sitting on top of the counter. He looked very deep in thought, like he was a philosopher. His chin rested in his hand, and his eyebrows were furrowed. Dipper nervously reached out and touched Robbie's elbow.

Robbie snapped out of his thoughts and turned to Dipper. "What? Couldn't you see I was thinking?"

Dipper looked at the floor. "Well_ yes…but I needed to ask you about something."

Robbie scoffed. "If it's anything about puberty ask your uncle. I absolutely REFUSE to answer puberty questions."

Dipper chuckled. "No, it's nothing about puberty. But anyway_ I want to know why you love Wendy."

Robbie stared at Dipper for a moment, then busted out laughing. "What kind of stupid question is that?! Why would you want to know if you're jealous of me FOR loving her?!" he laughed wildly.

Dipper frowned. "Just because. Now tell me."

Robbie stopped laughing. "OK, fine. First off_ she has an amazing personality. Second_ she has a beautiful smile. Third_ she has perfect green eyes. Fourth_ she's amazing at everything she does. Fifth_ she doesn't get mad at me when I call her by her real name. Sixth_ she's unbelievably kind and generous. Seventh_ she has the best sense of humor. Eighth_"

"OK, OK. That's enough for me." Dipper interrupted. "Now what were you saying about her real name? Isn't her name just Wendy?"

Robbie shook his head, his shaggy black hair swooshing back and forth across his forehead. "Nope. Her full name is Gwendolyn Jane Corduroy."

Dipper sighed and his face spread into a smile. "Gwendolyn Jane. A pretty name to match a pretty girl." he said under his breath. Robbie snapped his head in Dipper's direction. Once again, his glare turned the entire gift shop cold. "What was that, DipSquirt?" he snapped.

Dipper's heart stopped. "Nothing. I didn't say anything."

Robbie stomped toward him. "Oh, yes you did! You said 'a pretty name for a pretty girl'. It's TOTALLY obvious that you have a thing for my girl, isn't that right, DipSquirt?"

Dipper blushed furiously. "What?! No, man! You're cray-cray! Haha!" he laughed nervously.

Robbie laughed. "Cray-cray? You WATCH that show?"

Dipper frowned. "No. But Mabel does. So I'm sometimes forced to watch it."

"Yeah, suuure. Anyway_" He picked Dipper up by his shirt collar and threw him harshly to the floor. He gave him a sharp kick in the knee, causing Dipper to squeal in pain. "You think that hurt, you'd better man up pretty fast. You know why? Because this Friday, you and I are fighting."

Dipper's eyes bulged with fear. "WHAT?! NO! PLEASE!" he cried.

"Too late. You want my girl, and you're gonna have to pay for that somehow. And so I picked my best subject_ fighting. You and I are gonna have a real fighting match, this Friday, Circle Park. The whole town is gonna be invited to see me cream you. When I'm finished, you're gonna be black and blue all over. And do you know what?"

"W-What?" Dipper stuttered.

Robbie leaned in to about 3 inches from Dipper's face. Dipper felt his heart sink a little when he noticed that Robbie's lips were dotted with the color of Wendy's lip balm. "Wendy_" he chuckled "_ is gonna find this HILARIOUS."

Dipper's worried expression morphed quickly into a scowl. "You're wrong! She'll feel sorry for me! And then she'll realize what a stupid jerk you are and dump you!" he shouted at Robbie.

Robbie's smiling face melted into an awful scowl that sent chills up Dipper's spine. "No. She. WON'T!" he shouted. He gave poor Dipper another painful kick, this time in the stomach. Dipper yelped and clutched his sides, trying not to cry.

Robbie smirked. "We WILL be fighting. And I WILL win. And Wendy WILL praise me. As will the rest of the town." he said nastily.

Dipper wheezed "Well I have loads of people on my side! Mabel, Grunkle Stan_ Waddles…"

Robbie laughed his rudest laugh. "Face it, kid. NOBODY is rooting for you. Everyone in town knows that I'm faster. I'm stronger. I'm smarter. There's NO WAY I'll lose this fight."

Dipper's anger boiled inside him. All of Robbie's cruel words hit him like a ton of bricks. He finally couldn't hold it in anymore. He grabbed the glass bottle from underneath the desk, and then THREW IT as hard as he possibly could. It flew into the air, and hit Robbie square in the head! The bottle shattered, and Robbie looked dazed. He tottered around for a moment, then fell to his knees.

Dipper was laughing hysterically. Unfortunately, Wendy and Mabel walked in before he could stop laughing. Wendy dropped the sodas on the counter. "Why are you laughing? And why is there broken glass all over the floor_ OH MY GOD, ROBBIE!"

She kneeled down next to him and cradled his head in her lap. "My poor baby! What happened?" she asked impatiently.

He looked up at Dipper, looking almost frightened! "It_ It was Dipper! He got mad and threw the bottle at my head! I was just trying to help him with his cataloging, that's all!" he lied.

"WHAT?! Dipper, why would you do that?! He was just trying to help you get done faster!" Wendy snapped.

Dipper's heart stopped. "NO HE WAS NOT! He was taunting me, and he challenged me to a fight on Friday!" he said loudly.

Wendy looked down at Robbie. "Is that true?"

He looked down. "Yes. I just lied because I didn't want you to get mad at me or anything…"

"Oh, Robbie…" She smiled and leaned down, kissing his forehead. Dipper and Mabel gritted their teeth. Mabel had an even bigger crush on Robbie than Dipper had on Wendy. That's a HUGE crush.

Wendy helped Robbie up and put an arm around his waist. He smirked and placed an arm around her shoulders. "Well, we're gonna go cast for the fight now." Robbie said.

Mabel wrinkled her eyebrows and inclined her head. "Cast?"

Robbie rolled his eyes. "Yeah, duh. We have to get the ref, the announcers, the scorekeeper_ all those things."

"Oh. Well, do you already know who they're gonna be?"

Robbie thought about it. "Hmm…I think I'll have Thompson be ref, Tambry can be the scorekeeper, and Nate and Lee can be the announcers. That sound good, babe?"

Wendy nodded. "Yeah, that's perfect! And me and Mabel can be those girls that wear sexy outfits and cheer our fighter on!" she said.

Robbie looked at her funny. "Uh…Mabel is 12, Wendy."

"So?"

"Her outfit has to be a little less sexy."

"Oh, fine. But mine is still gonna be sexy."

Robbie smiled. "Awesome." he said, kissing her neck. He then pulled his keys out of his pocket and walked Wendy out to his van. Mabel squeezed Dipper so hard he could barely breathe. "YAY! I'M GONNA MAKE ME AND GRUNKLE STAN T-SHIRTS THAT SAY 'TEAM DIPPINGSAUCE'! WHOO-HOO!" she whooped.

Dipper gave her a weak smile. "Does Waddles get a shirt?" he asked.

Mabel squealed and picked up her little pig. "Of course my little prince gets a Team Dippingsauce shirt!" she said, squishing Waddles's cheeks.

Dipper chuckled. "I'm gonna go to the diner. Wanna come with?"

"Would I! Can Waddles come?"

"Sure."

"YAY!"

Mabel and Dipper walked out of the shop, looking extremely happy. But Dipper really wasn't. He was smiling on the outside, but his mind was reeling with pure fear.

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Dipper sat on the couch and rubbed his knuckles. His hands were shaking, his knees were knocking, and his stomach was doing flip-flops all over the place. "I'll never win. I'll never win. Not a chance." he said, mentally slapping himself. "If I hadn't asked that STUPID question, I wouldn't be in this mess."

Mabel and Grunkle Stan paraded into the living room. Their t-shirts were red, with a picture of Dipper's face on the front. Lavender bubble letters spelled out 'Team' above Dipper's head, and 'Dippingsauce' below his chin. "Hey there, kid! How's my champion fighter today?" Stan asked encouragingly.

Dipper sighed. "Not good. Robbie's gonna destroy me!"

Mabel scoffed. "No he will not. I mean yes_ he's 50 times stronger. And smarter. And hotter. But if you believe in yourself, you can do anything you wanna do!"

He gave his twin a weak smile. "Thanks, Mabel."

Grunkle Stan looked at his watch. "Time to head out there, kid."

The family walked outside and climbed into Stan's red station wagon, driving toward Circle Park. Dipper gazed out the window, drowning out his sister and uncle's cries of "DIPPINGSAUCE! DIPPINGSAUCE! DIPPINGSAUCE!" He breathed slowly, trying to unknot his stomach.

"Just get it over with Dipper. You can do it."