Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: R
Summary: He stares down at the cold, lifeless face of the only person he's ever loved and knows that he is the reason why the light in his eyes have dimmed forever more.
Warnings: Slash, Odd Pairing, Death fic
Disclaimer: Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter, and the Potters are & TM J. K. Rowling, not the author. Everything else is & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.
He stares down at the cold, lifeless face of the only person he's ever loved and reaches trembling fingers to the still, wrinkled cheek. His dark eyes, as black as the pit that his heart has become without his love to pierce the darkness that now envelops him entirely, bear down into the closed lids of the man who was, and still is, truth be told, his whole world. He had thought that there was no end to the wisdom and beauty that could be found in his eyes and longs to see them open and shining with lively merriment one last time, but he knows they will never open again.
He had thought there had been no end to the wisdom and beauty in his eyes, but he has dulled both forever more. Every time Albus had looked at him, Severus had felt himself drowning in the depths of his blue orbs and had never wanted to be pulled from therein not only for their beauty but for more than the mere physical elements. It was in Albus' eyes that he had first found love, and it had only been Albus who had ever looked at him in love or kindness. It had been Albus who had always brought his fury crashing to a halt and who had never feared his anger but had always understood and had patience with his every bad mood.
He had turned to his beloved every time he had felt their world being whisked away into horror that he felt helpless to stop, and it had always been Albus who, with just a single look, had always given him the peace and reassurance his life lacked when he had needed them the most. It was in his eyes that he had always most clearly seen the daring, compassionate, wise, and loving soul of the man he had fallen in love with long ago, and when he most needed the courage to do what had to be done, he had sought that courage in just one glance from his love's blue eyes.
His mind turns back to the last time he saw those majestic eyes open, and he swallows hard, his pale hands clasping the side of the coffin in desperate need for something, anything, to help him strengthen his weakened knees so that he does not fall and prove to the world just how much of a fool he truly is. The man he loves more than anything else in all existence looked at him with fear in his eyes, fear that he caused not from towering over him in preparation to give the fatal blow he longed to give to himself instead but from his reluctance to do what Albus felt had to be done.
His fingers tremble as he fails to stop a single tear from running down his pale face and splashing down onto the even paler face of the only one he's ever loved. Albus is gone from him forever, the light, hope, courage, wisdom, and love found in his eyes all forever dulled to the world, and it is all his fault. He should have told him "NO!" He should have told him "NO!" The thought shouts through his head with all the might of the most fierce thunder clap. It recircles and resounds through his brain as it swells within his heart and soul, the last desperate cry of a man whose only hope now is death.
He'll continue to fight, Severus swears, unconcerned with who may be watching his moment of weakness for the first time. He'll continue to fight for his beloved Albus until either Voldemort is dead or final peace is granted to him. He'll fight, though he has nothing left but the memory of the greatest man who ever lived to spur him on. He'll fight and hope and yearn for his own death until that sliver of peace is finally granted him.
The End