WHAT HE WANTS
Damon, "You want what everyone wants. You want a love that consumes you, that is passionate, adventurous, and maybe just a little bit dangerous." Elena, "And what do you want."
If he just let her remember that night, if he just let her remember what he said, if he just let her remember what she wanted, if he just let her remember him... He would be the brother who got the girl, who got the happy ending. Instead, as always, he did not think and did not see the bigger picture. How could he have? How could he have ever imagined that that one compulsion would ruin everything? How could he have ever predicted such a thing? He just wanted to know her slowly. He wanted to take the time, take the time to know her slowly. He wanted to stay mysterious. Fine, he was selfish in that moment. But, he would change that one moment in a heartbeat... just to change his fate, to change his future, to change his fucking destiny. He would change that fucked up destiny: the destiny that makes sure he is never happy, he is never ever the good man, the worthy man, the destiny that makes sure he is always the monster never human.
All he ever wanted, all he ever wants, all he ever will want is the kind of love that will always pick him, that will always choose him, that will be as loyal to him as he is, that will love him as much as he will, that will consume him, that will make him feel so alive that he forgets that he is dead... He just wants the one woman that will make everything worth it: the heartbreak, the pain, the torture, the blood, the agony, the long years, and the death. Is that too much to ask? Is really that unbelievable that he wants love too? That a monster could want, need love? He just wants to feel loved, to be consumed, to be needed, to be wanted, to be someone's world... to feel alive. He wants, no, needs someone to choose him, to be someone's first choice, to be someone's future, past and present. He needs to somebody's first, always first. He needs happiness, such happiness that makes him forget all the pain, heartbreak and loneliness he ever felt in his life. He just wants, needs, to feel his heart beat again.
Gosh, why couldn't he turn back time? Why couldn't he return to that moment and un-compel her? Why couldn't he take what he wanted? Why couldn't he be selfish with her? He knows why though. He knows that the kind of love he feels for her, all he ever could want is her happiness. He knows that the kind of love he feels for her, all he ever could need is for her to get everything she wants, it cannot be about him. When it came to her, it was never about him. He would always put her first, even before his own wants, needs, his heart even his life.
What he really wants... is for her to fight for him. He wants her to choose him not because he is the safe option, not because she met him first, not because he saved her, not because he is available, not because she needs him, not because she desires him but because she loves him. Because she loves him so much that it consumes her, the kind of love that is passionate and makes her feel alive and makes her forget the world and makes her enjoy her life even more and maybe even makes her live a little dangerously...