Shampoo147: I do not own Death Note, thought i wouldn't mind owning Light.
Ayame: Or L.
An Odd Way to Love
I looked at her. She was sleeping on the couch, having tried to wait up for me, again. I'd been busy and told her not to, but she always did this. I don't think she even touches the bed when I'm not there.
I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. When we moved in with each other, I had only gotten one bed. Misa loved the idea. We slept together every time we could, but I've never had sex with her, not for lack of trying on her part.
I tucked her in and looked at her. She was beautiful, there was no way to deny that. With hr softly green eyes and natural yellow hair, she was an almost-perfect specimen of the female sex. Almost-perfect because my type is brunette.
Never the less, I love her, in my own way. Not the same way she loved me, no, not that far, but I did love her. If I hadn't loved her, I would've killed her and replaced her by now, for she was bothersome.
Without Rem around, nobody would've stopped me.
But I couldn't, because I love her.
I don't feel for her as strongly as I did L. what does it say when I feel more strongly for my best friend than the woman I'm going to marry?
I haven't asked her yet, but I know she's going to say yes. When this whole mess blows over, I'll propose, she'll accept, and she'll have a big wedding to shove into Takada's face.
Out of everyone I know, my father, Ryuk, L, all of them, I only love three. I love Misa, my wife-to-be. I love Matsuda, as a friend. I love my sister, for she's my sister.
It's rather narcissistic, the reason I love the people I love. I love them because they're blinded by love for me.
Misa was a Kira fanatic and that was how she met me. I had thought, at first, that she only declared her devotion to Kira as love, but that was not so. The moment I renounced Kira to her, she renounced Kira.
Takada is devoted to Kira because Kira helps her with her own greed. Kira suits her purposes. She doesn't love me, she'll turn on me with a knife if Kira told her to. How could I love someone who is so imperfect?
Mikami is completely and utterly devoted to Kira, worshipping him, really. But therein lies the problem, Mikami loves Kira, not me. We've met before, you know. He doesn't remember me, but I remember him. He makes a good protégé and possible heir, but never more than that. I don't love him and he doesn't love me.
L, oh L. L was my equal. In every way, L was equal to me. We fought and hated each other, but I'll never forget about that night we spent with me over the toilet, throwing up, and him holding my hair back and rubbing my back. Did he care for me, or did he only read that and apply it? Either way, it remains in my mind. He was my first true friend, sort of. I know he was lying when he said that I was his friend, but I wasn't when I said he was mine. We never loved each other, but there was a vague and mutual respect. I feel strongly for him, but no in love or anything like that. If there were a chance, I wouldn't have a second thought about killing him again.
Misa, sweet Misa. She has always believed in me, not Kira, not L, not the ideology, not even in the Task Force, but in me. She'll do anything and everything for me, Light Yagami, not Kira. I believe in Kira and she'll be an avid Kira supporter, but if I believe in L, she'll reject Kira completely. It me, and I love her for that.
I've thought about it and I know that what I feel is not romantic, sexual, or even respectful. No, it's something I've felt once before, for a dog we once had.
She's my pet, I suppose.
I kiss her forehead before I get ready for bed. I'll marry you, I'll spend my life with you, Misa. Maybe not the way you imagined it, or I imaged it, but I will love you.
And I know that's good enough for you.