I love you like the summer sun all warm and soft like blue birds flying across the sky like winter roses and pure white snow like dreams and miracles and long goodbyes and breathless kisses silky soft hair and dew touched petals and sweat soaked skin like sparkling waters and rustling leaves and sunset skies and lonely cliffs.
Draco watches him .
Every day he catches a glimpse of the raven haired boy, his laugh echoing off the stone walls as he walks, hand in hand with his best friends, his face clear of worry, hie eyes sparkling with delight and his voice ringing out with pure unadulterated joy.
Draco watches him like a vulture, his eyes narrow and evil and broken and he wants nothing more than to reach out and pluck it all away, pluck away the happiness and the joy and the fucking laughter because they represent something he is supposed to hate and despise.
They represent purity and love and innocence and they are things he can never own or experience.
Things he can only covet from a distance.
And covet he does.
Every day, at every turn, every time he saw Potter, he covets.
Oh, how he covets.
He tries to ignore the noise around him, concentrating on the fiery burn of the whiskey as it flows through his throat, liquid gold that lights his insides, numbs the voices in his head and gives him smooth blissful peace .
"Potter's such a whore."
Laughter.
He opens one eye, against his will.
"Yup. Isn't he dating that guy , Seamus Finnegan?"
"Yeah bunch of saps."
More laughter.
"He's just so fucking annoying man. Ever since the war ended, he's been acting all high and mighty. "
"Someone should ..uh... take him down a bit, if you know what I mean."
Hearty guffaws and wolf whistles.
Draco feels the hair on his neck stand on end. He straightens himself and glances absently at his housemates.
Blaise notices his sudden interest and claps him on the back and he wants to knock the hand away , to tell him to keep his fucking paws to himself but he doesn't. He doesn't, because he was Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini was his friend and they are supposedly bosom buddies who enjoy the same things.
"Volunteering Draco?" Blaise chuckles, eyes glinting and Draco raises one sardonic eyebrow.
"For fucking with Potter?" He drawls , fingers casually flicking a cake crumb off his sleeve.
"In a manner of speaking." Theo sneers , his eyes leering and wild. He looks happy already, the prospect of hurting the golden-boy of Gryffindor clearly exciting him.
Draco wants to puke.
Instead he smirks, lips quirking up in an expression of casual indifference.
"Why not?"
Only because I don't want anyone else near you.
"Only inter house pairings." Their Muggle studies Professor calls out and Draco wastes no time.
He makes a beeline for Harry the moment Hermione moves towards Zach Smith and Ron drifts off to his girlfriend , Pansy.
"Oh.. uh.. Malfoy, hi?" Potter looks a little shocked , a little confused.
Potter is even better looking at close quarters, his skin blemish free and smooth, his lips pouty and soft and his eyes brighter than the emeralds in Draco's mother's jewel box.
"Call me Draco." He says smoothly, smile sliding into his face with ease. Its a beautiful thing, he knows. He's exceptionally good looking under most circumstances and smiling makes him look angelic.
Compared to Harry though, he looks hideous.
Because Harry is beautiful .
In every way.
He smiles again, wide and coaxing and Harry smiles back, unsuspecting and naive.
"Oh. Okay. Harry then. " He holds his hands out, almost shyly and Draco grips it hard.
So this is what innocence feels like.
"That's fucking awesome! So when are you going to do it? Tonight?" Blaise asks excitedly after Draco tells him about the project assignments.
Draco shrugs , eyes flitting about the Great Hall looking for the familiar raven haired boy.
"You better hurry up, we already have bets going." Blaise knocks his shoulders hard and then disappears and Draco sinks into his seat, watching Harry as he settles into his, eyes as bright and sunny as ever.
"Have you thought of something for our project?" Harry asks, balancing himself on a small ledge near the lake, while Draco leans against a tree, hands in his pockets, eyes trained unblinkingly on the dark haired boy before him.
"A paper or something should be fine right?" He shrugs, eyes still tracing the boy's slim frame. Harry is thin and small, so much smaller than Draco. He looks lean and gentle and harmless.
Just the way he is inside.
so beautiful i want to reach out and claw my way into your heart and lie there forever.
"A time capsule?" Harry says suddenly, excitement coating his words.
Draco raises his eyebrows, curiously. He has no idea what that is.
"Its like a little jar or box or whatever. We put stuff in it and bury it and then, years from now, we can dig it back up. And we'll know. We'll know how we were when we were young." Harry smiles, his face shining with ideas and Draco is fascinated, not by the idea of a time capsule but by the sheer pleasure radiating from the shorter boy.
He opens his mouth to say something, anything but his voice is gone, lost and faded , insubstantial and unimportant in the face of the absolute perfection, that is Harry Potter.
"Have you thought of a subject for what you're going to put in?" Harry asks, the next time they meet up, this time in the library. Harry has a bunch of books next to him, all of them unfamiliar.
"The little red riding hood?" Draco asks curiously , picking the thinnest.
Harry laughs.
"Yeah, its about a girl who goes looking for her grandma and almost gets eaten by a wolf." Harry says with a grin.
Draco blinks.
"They're just muggle fairy tales. People might forget them in the future so I thought we could make stuff ... about.. that.." Harry fades off, unsure and Draco shakes his head.
"Its too childish." He says quickly. He can't imagine anything more terrifying than going back to his dorm with a fairytale book in his hand.
Harry's face falls but he brightens up at once.
"Why don't we do stuff about each other?"
Draco blinks in shock.
"Wh-What?"
"Or about our houses, with each other as examples. That's great idea!" Harry almost jumps up and down and Draco has no idea what to say.
Gryffindor,
where dwell the brave at heart...
Their daring nerve and chivalry
set Gryffindor apart...
Draco pulls out sheafs of paper and arranges them on his desk, long after the other boys fall asleep. He lights candles and begins writing.
Gryffindors are brave and courageous, their house colors do them justice. They are regal and proud, like scarlet robes on a king and they all have hearts of gold.
None more so than Harry Potter.
I wish I was like him.
Draco stares at the words for a long time and then scratches the last line out.
Daring
Draco finds Harry scribbling furiously into a notebook, in their familiar spot by the lake. The first years are playing around the lake, throwing magical frisbees and shrieking playfully.
"Hey. " Draco settles next to Harry and the brunette looks up, smiling wide.
"Hey , Draco. I was just writing about you. Would you like to read it?" He holds out the papers and Draco instantly recoils, his heart pounding.
"No! " He shouts, louder than he intends to and a few people glance their way. Cursing inwardly, he lowers his voice.
"No, I just.., it would be better if we read it after graduation right?" He says weakly.
Because I don't want you to see how perfect I think you are
Harry blinks for a second but then the smile is back and its like the sun breaking out from behind dark grey clouds.
"That's a great idea , Draco. We'll bury the capsule after we're done and then we'll dig it back up on our graduation day. That's perfect"
And before he can register it, Harry hugs him.
Its warm and soft and amazing and Draco feels like a pollutant, tainting the most precious thing in the world and he falls back against the grass, scrambling away as fast as he can because he didn't dare...didn't dare enjoy that...
nerves.
Draco begins calling his time with Harry as sessions.
"What is he, your shrink?" Blaise scoffs.
yes but i don't think he can fix me.
no one can.
They spend two hours everyday, either near the lake or in one of the empty classrooms, painting and gluing things together or working on the wooden crate that is going to act as their time capsule. Harry grows more creative by the minute, insisting that they shouldn't stop with writing stuff and instead should paint stuff, put in dolls or clothes or scarves, anything that represents each other.
Draco discovers that Harry has incredible talent when it comes to painting, his fingers moving quickly and flawlessly over white canvasses, creating exquisite designs and patterns that make Draco's head swim and his heart pound.
He is useless when it comes to being creative but when he mentions the fact, Harry merely shrugs.
"Its alright. Just tell me what you want and I'll make it for you. Its no trouble." He lightly pats Draco's shoulders and Draco wants to scream.
why are you so good?
Harry enjoys talking. He talks and talks and talks, his voice steady and untired. He talks about things he cares about, about things he hates , about Seamus and his jealousy and about Ron and Hermione. He speaks about wanting to paint across the skies, about wishing every drop of water in the ocean could turn into paint and using every tree in the world to make a huge paintbrush and to make a masterpiece.
Then he turns to Draco, curious and eager.
"What's your dream, Draco?"
to march up to heaven and demand an explanation. why are you so beautiful , why must you have every thing that i wish for why must my world be tainted by filth and hate and dirty fantasies while yours is pure and white and uncorrupted with endless suns and springtime showers...
"Only, that you stop talking and start working." He grins easily and Harry blushes, sweet and shy.
"Are you turning into some sort of a sap?" Blaise demands, pushing him against the wall. Draco snarls, pushing back with equal strecgth.
"The fuck is wrong with you?" He snaps.
"You aren't supposed to be coddling that sick bastard. You're supposed to take care of him." Blaise spits out and Draco wants to scream that he isn't but he knows its pointless and stupid because he is. He is supposed to break Potter. That was the whole point wasn't it?
He has to do it.
He has to because he is Malfoy and Potter is Potter and he has to prove that...
that...
Draco no longer remembers what he has to prove or to whom.
The day before their project is due, Draco walks into their shared classroom. The crate is done, painted a beautiful robin blue, the sides covered with intricate flowers and the Gryffindor lion with the Slytherin serpent nearby. Draco has never thought it possible for a snake to look friendly and inviting but Harry has managed that.
And then he turns to Potter , who has just finished adding the last of their combined contributions into the crate . Draco says nothing, working silently as the pair of them seal the crate and finish the last bit of painting. Only the final two page report needs to be written up and they would be done. Harry explains how he has already started working on it and he's made it a small little scrap book instead of a report because scrap books were so much fun and Draco cuts him off with a kiss.
Its soft and warm and nice and Harry doesn't push him away.
Draco pulls away and catches sight of the look on Harry's face. Its not disgust or anger. Just curiosity.
Draco begins moving closer and the smaller boy presses his palms against his shoulder, asking him to wait, just for a second but he doesn't.
He doesn't wait and he doesn't stop.
Its easy and quick, the sound of the smaller boy's boy hitting the walls giving him a sick sort of vindication .
i saw your world, your perfect fucking world and its only fair you get a glimpse of mine
its easy because Harry is so much smaller and thinner and the soft pleas and choked sobs fall on deaf ears as Draco rams him face first into the floor, elbow digging into Harry's spine, causing the boy to yelp in pain. He threads his fingers into the raven black tresses, so soft and silky like the night sky, a sky no longer bright or sunny but cold and miserable, and he yanks hard , wishing Harry would stop keening like that, wishing Harry would just relax and let him finish this macabre tour of his life.
Draco feels the subtle change from pain to shock , from fear to stark terror when Harry hears him unzipping his pants and he yanks him harder, ripping his clothes off in one swift move. The soft sobs turn into desperate pleas of Draco, please, wait, dray , please don't, just listen - I'm sorry- why are you-?
Harry whimpers, his eyes watering and his fingers clawing desperately, trying to find some traction on the stone floor, some object to hold on to as he braces himself for the pain and the shock and Draco doesn't fucking care because now... finally... they could be one.
Their worlds merge and collide , boundaries vanish, purity drowns in the impure and innocence is tarnished with filth.
When Draco leaves the classroom, he leaves behind a broken , bleeding Harry, his eyes empty, his voice no longer cheerful and his clothes torn off his body. Mostly though he leaves him in pain- as much pain as Draco had been left in, on his thirteenth birthday when his housemates bent him over a cold wooden bench and explained what it meant to 'take it like a man'.
Its over and Draco realizes that he hasn't actually done much. Because Harry, is Harry.
Harry was perfect and flawless and loved and with love came healing and happily ever afters.
Unlike Draco , who lives in a filthy, disgusting world with torn emotions and tattered happiness , Harry lives in a world where every wound can be healed, every tear can be wiped and every smile can return, a billion times brighter.
Harry will rebuild his world. Make it better and brighter.
Draco's world merely grows darker and filthier.
The next day, Seamus places the scrapbook report on his table and slaps him hard, right across his face. He doesn't retaliate.
They get the best project award and when they graduate, Draco is Valedictorian. When he gets on the stage he almost expects to see Harry get up and walk out, but the brunette just stares up at him .
When its time to get their diplomas, Slytherin house finishes first and all his housemates move away to the buffet in the lawn. But he doesn't. He hangs around till they call out, Harry James Potter and he wants to see that smile again.
Wants to make sure he hasn't destroyed it completely.
And Harry gets his degree and turns to the crowd and smiles.
naive and brave and stupid and courageous and innocent and so fucking beautiful.
Draco leaves.
because you're like a house of cards so pretty and so good and i'm the little breeze that knocks it down to the floor.
A/N :- Sequel is up. Its called Amygdala, so you can check it out. :) I'm sorry for the grammatical mistakes. English isn't my first language so.. yeah...:)
I usually try to correct them so if you catch sight of any , please let me know. I'll change them at once.. :) Thank you.