Red Headed Wonder
Castiel poured a cup of coffee into the startling white mug he held in his hand. Steam swirled into the air above the piping drink. Castiel breathed in the bitter smell. He had never even tried, much less liked, coffee before that late September day when he ran into Sam… and his brother.
The coffee started to spill over the sides. As the burning liquid singed Castiel's fingers, he dropped the glass mug, and it shattered all over the floor. The coffee pot soon followed the mug and Castiel swore vehemently. "Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit!" Another thing he hadn't even considered doing before running into the boys. He brought his seared fingers to his lips, wincing in pain.
"Cas-tiel?" A voice called from outside the locked apartment door, concern laced thickly through the voice. "You okay?"
Castiel recognized the voice, but couldn't quite place it at the moment. "Fine! Just… give me a minute…" He swore again as he turned the tap on with his healthy hand and ran his sizzling fingers under the water. Castiel gasped as the freezing water hit them, a startling contradiction to the burning racing through his hand. He sighed in relief as the pinching and violent heat speeding through his veins started to dissipate.
The door to the apartment burst open. Dean Winchester ran in and dropped something near the door. He hurried to Castiel and wrapped his arms around the smaller man and rubbed the burned hand in between his own. He massaged the cold water into Castiel's singed fingers. "You okay?" He repeated after a moment of silence.
"Dean?" Castiels strangled squeak was unnatural and uncomfortable.
Dean slowly stopped working his fingers into Castiel's hands and let go of them gradually. He pulled his own, now chilled hands, away from Castiel. He backed up a couple of feet, until he stepped on one of the shards of glass from the mug. Dean stepped away from the shattered mess and shook his head in mock disappointment. He patted his hands dry and muttered, "Man Cas, we're single for a week and you still can't even hold the coffee pot on your own."
Dean reached next to the fridge and grabbed the broom he knew was there. He started to sweep up the slivers of glass into one pile, so Castiel wouldn't get hurt in his bare feet. Dean stared at the broom, trying desperately not to make eye contact.
Castiel leaned forward and shut the water off, keeping his back to Dean. The only noise was the sound of pieces of glass clinking into each other and the soft brush of the broom's bristles sweeping across the floor. Castiel grabbed a rag off the counter and dried his hands. "Dean, what are you doing here?" He asked, not sure whether he was going to start crying or punch Dean or start a big rant. He settled for kneading the rag in his hands.
"It's Saturday Cas…tiel…" Dean added the second part of Castiel's name as an afterthought. "I don't know… I just didn't want you to sit here all day alone… drinking coffee and sulking…"
Castiel through the wet rag into the sink and whirled around, outraged. "Dean, you do recall, don't you, the reason I'd be sitting here all alone, drinking coffee and sulking?!"
"Well… yeah… but…"
"No buts Dean," Castiel spat. Suddenly the black-haired man was animated and a furious whirl of limbs and blows. His hands were clenched and his body shook with rage and fear and just agony. He shoved Dean back towards the door. "You don't belong here anymore Dean. Not now. Not ever again! You can't even come close to understanding what I've been enduring. You couldn't even know the half of why this hurts so much!" Castiel shoved him harder and Dean stumbled backwards, broom still in hand, even though Dean could easily overpower the smaller man. "You can't even imagine how much I wanted you to just come through that door and apologize and make everything all right. So maybe, just maybe, we could have our little happy ending. Just for once! I'd like for something I have to not crumble into nothingness."
Dean tripped over the same damned carpet he'd asked Castiel to move two weeks ago. He slipped and the broom fell from his grasp, landing next to the table. Dean flailed his arms in an attempt to stop himself from falling. He grabbed onto the nearest solid thing, Castiel's half-done tie.
They both dropped to the ground. Dean exhaled sharply as his back slammed into the floor and gasped again when Castiels body crushed his, their faces mere inches apart Castiel groaned at the sudden impact. He tried to get off of Dean, but Dean had already recovered from the fall. Dean pulled on Castiel's tie again and rolled over, so the smaller man was now underneath him. He grabbed Castiel's wrists and pinned them above his head.
"Listen! Cas, I know… I know it looked bad… I know that- But, you walked out before I could explain!" Dean cried out exasperated.
Castiel struggled against Dean's grip. "Dean, let go of me! You can't do this!" He sputtered out more words, Dean didn't even seem to take notice of. He twisted and turned under Deans muscled body.
"But you still aren't listening!"
Castiel stopped and glared at Dean. A stare so full of malice and contempt, Dean cringed against it. "Maybe I don't want to listen Dean. Did you consider that? My father wanted me to fix you even more than I did. Maybe I'm done with picking up after you, cleaning up your messes. Maybe I'm done with listening. Maybe I'm done with your excuses. Maybe I'm done with-with you."
Deans face slowly shattered. Tears rimmed his brilliant green eyes. His breath caught and Castiel could see his chest stop moving. Dean's lips barely moved as he pleaded, "No… Cas… please… don't say that… I can't…" He shook his head in complete devastation.
"Oh and why not?!" Castiel shot back. His sparking blue eyes boring into Dean's.
"Because… I wouldn't be- well I wouldn't be alive without you. Not after Sam…" Dean whispered. Shuddering, quiet breaths overtook Deans' breathing. He let go of Castiels' hands and stared hopelessly at his own wrists.
Castiels' face softened. He worked his way into a sitting position, Dean still straddling his legs. He grabbed one of Dean's hands and ran his thumb over the jagged scars carved into Deans wrist. Castiel had wanted to erase them more than anything else in the world.
"Well, you don't need me anymore. I mean you stopped. And plus you've got the red-headed wonder," Castiel muttered sadly. He just wanted to keep holding Deans' hand and running his thumb over the horrible memories Dean had carved into his skin. "Do you even know her name?"
"Anna," Dean sighed tiredly. He scrunched up his face and continued self-consciously, "She's in a play with me. A Midsummer Nights Dream, I think… I tried out about a month ago and I got a part, Lysander. It's one of the leads Cas." Dean's eyes lit up momentarily, before he met Castiel's menacing blue eyes and then the spark shimmered out of them. "Acting was never one of my things, but I wanted to impress you." Dean watched Castiels thumb as it traced over the marks engraved into his wrist. "I know it's no excuse… I know it sounds stupid. Hell I wouldn't believe it if I were you, but we were rehearsing." Dean bit his lip shyly.
"You are participating in a play… to impress me?" Castiel laughed.
Dean unwillingly cracked a smile. Castiel's laugh was rare and magical. It was meant to be cherished. It was full of everything Castiel was. Simplicity, seriousness, free will, understanding, hope, faith, love, happiness. "So…?" Dean asked, unsure of how to respond.
"Why didn't you just tell me?" Castiel dropped one of Deans' wrists. He reached up and stroked Dean's unshaven cheek. He only let it get like that when he was under tons of stress.
Dean blushed. His cheeks grew redder as he felt the flush spreading across his neck. "Well… I wanted to surprise you, so I guess I got that much done. And I wanted to impress you with how amazing my acting skills were. And I don't know… I just wanted to make you proud of me," Dean muttered uncomfortably.
Castiel held Deans' face with one hand as he responded. "Dean Winchester. You never fail to amaze me. Sometimes you are so hardheaded! But… that's okay."
"So… are we okay?" Dean wondered aloud.
Castiel laughed again, bringing another unstoppable, brilliant smile to Deans' face. "No. We're not. We need to have one of your so called 'chick-flick' moments."
"But, I brought pie! And-and-and burgers," Dean gestured to the bag he'd dropped when he'd first come in.
Castiel smiled and leaned forward placing a soft kiss on Dean's lips. He reached up with his other hand and ran it through Dean's short hair. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's small frame and leaned them both back to the ground.
Castiel muttered against Dean's lips, "But, I forgive you, Dean Winchester."