DISCLAIMER: I saved up all my money, so I could buy D. Gray-Man. Turns out, 86 cents isn't even enough to buy just one volume.

WARNING: Contains supposed to be implied yaoi (YAOI meaning: BOY/BOY LOVE) (IMPLIED meaning nothing actually happens, also it doesn't even have to be taken as love, just friendship) and much crappiness. Probably doesn't make sense. First attempt at 1st to 2nd person writing. I'm a comfy 3rd person author. Also: 1st story posted ever. 3rd DGM story written ever. This is written in Allen's point of view, to Lavi.

I don't like it. That shield you have around you. Your defense is a mask, a facade of friendliness and joy, but inside you are so.... empty.

I wish you didn't feel that way. When I see your eyes, I just want to cry, because it isn't fair. Not fair that you have to deal with this.

Just like in the ark, I can save you. Or at least try.

But I will never know. Would it work or would the true depths of your heart pull me in as well? It's tearing me up inside.

No matter who sees your grinning face, no one notices what lies beneath. This horrible chasm of despair and fear. How am I the only one who can see?

I want to save you. But I don't think it's possible. I know so little of the real person behind the role, the true soul behind the alias. I want to help you, but it seems impossible.

All I can do is watch as you descend, ever so slowly, into the wastes of hatred and loneliness.

You are a part of everyone here. The worse you get, the worse I get. You are dragging me with you, step by step.

This is not fair. To me, to the Order. But most of all, to you.

You have to realize that we care. I care. From the bottom of my heart.

But even I am not perfect, no, far from it. I, myself, hide behind a mask, albeit weaker than yours. I have no idea how it feels to not be allowed to feel, to love, to have a heart. I only understand what it feels for me, living in a world of one, surrounded by hate, pain, and sorrow. I shudder at the fact that you live in this world yourself. Maybe we can make a world two.

You look so miserable, sitting there, when all else has turned away. You scare me, when you think no one's looking, the empty expression, and the feeling that no one is there. I want to change that.

But worst of all, worse than the fact that I'm not sure I can, that this gets worse every day, that you're pulling me down, worst of all is that I don't think you'll let me help.

You want to continue down this path you have chosen for yourself, but is the right path? Is this what you want to be when everything is over?

I don't want you to be an empty shell, a marionette, a fragment of what used to be. I want you.

So, if you ever change your mind, if you ever want a second chance at knowing love, at knowing happiness, at living, then please, please, just tell me. It kills me to see you like this.

And whenever you are ready, I'll be there to reach through the flames and save you.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Um, wow. This is a story that I woke up at 2 o clock in the morning, sat at my laptop, and typed. This came out. It feels disconnected to me. Anyways, PLEASE REVIEW! I want, no, need tips. :D Much appreciation for reading all the way to the end! ILY! Cookie time!!! *runs away to go eat cookies*