Behind Loving Eyes
By Spunky0ne
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Loving eyes have been watching Shiba Ichigo for a while, but the man behind them silently suffers, trying to make Soul Society's hero see him. Byakuya is quiet, subtle and patient, but the lure of his ginger haired beloved has him at the ends of his wits. Will Ichigo ever realize that Byakuya has fallen deeply in love with him? Byakuya/Ichigo, Kurushimi/Tetsuya, Bazz-B/Renji, Rukia/Orihime…Yaoi, Yuri, Mpreg
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Chapter 1: Love in Shadows
Within the main wing of the Kuchiki head family's expansive estate, Byakuya slept, curled up in a pile of soft pillows, on a large comfortable bed. Surrounded by lovely, dark paneled walls that were decorated with a few family portraits, and handcrafted cherry wood furniture that bore several more personal photos of the Kuchiki leader with his beloved sister, Rukia, his favored cousin, Tetsuya, and with his Fukutaicho and friend, Abarai Renji, he slept peacefully…at least until the dream he had been having repeatedly, for weeks on end, suddenly returned.
He hung, suspended in darkness, remembering only that his entry into that state had been preceded by an enemy's laughter, a deadly storm of his own pink petal blades and heart rending pain all over his body. The first sensation that returned to him was that of something warm and coppery smelling, leaking down his sweating face. Gradually, he felt more of the warm liquid seeping slowly from his breached veins and onto his shredded flesh. His breath hissed and bubbled strangely as he inhaled and exhaled slowly, waiting helplessly as familiar footsteps approached him.
"Byakuya."
His one usable eye struggled to bring the ginger haired man in front of him into focus.
"Kurosaki Ichigo," he whispered brokenly, "Are Rukia and Renji still alive?"
He shivered inwardly as Ichigo hesitated for a moment.
"Yeah, they're alive. They're fine. Don't worry."
"That is good," he said in a relieved tone, pausing as blood leaked into his throat, choking him, and he was forced to cough to clear it so that he could continue.
"I do not have much time left," he went on, "As a taicho of the Gotei 13, I have disgraced myself, allowing our enemy to destroy this place and to kill so many valuable soldiers, leaving vacant holes in the hearts of their loved ones. But even that pales in comparison to the audacity of one such as myself asking you to take up the burden of protecting what I could not. Still, I will gladly lower myself and beg you…please, Ichigo, you must protect Soul Society!"
He was sure that Ichigo was supposed to leave him…and to do so without uttering a word. But to his surprise, Ichigo's golden brown eyes darkened and clouded, filling with tears as Ichigo approached him in slow steps.
"Ichigo," he whispered as the younger man came closer, as he stopped in front of Byakuya, and his fingertips brushed the thick red fluid from his lips.
"Byakuya," Ichigo said softly, his arms wrapping around the noble's wounded body and holding him gently, "I'm not going to let you die."
He blinked in surprise as Ichigo's face came closer, then closer still, until he was a hair's breadth from Byakuya's trembling lips.
"Ichigo?"
He wasn't prepared for the flood of emotion that overtook his shredded heart when Ichigo kissed him, and he almost missed the moment when he died in the arms of the man he loved most.
Byakuya sat up suddenly, his heart pounding wildly and his reiatsu storming around him, making the room rattle. A moment later, his attendant rushed into the room, a look of alarm on his handsome face.
"Byakuya-sama!" he exclaimed, "are you all right, sir?"
"I fine, Torio," Byakuya assured him, shaking his head and accepting a cup of water from the younger man, "I only had a nightmare."
"Another nightmare," Torio mused, "Was this one also about the war?"
"Y-yes," Byakuya affirmed, "it is just related to post traumatic stress. Pay it no mind."
"Should I contact your counselor, sir? Aderia-san did say that we could ask for her anytime, day or night, to assist you."
"That will not be necessary," Byakuya said, yawning and curling around the pillows again, "Aderia instructed me how to deal with the nightmares. I can manage."
"Would you like some chamomile tea, Byakuya-sama?" asked Torio.
"No, I only want to sleep."
Byakuya closed his eyes and breathed slowly, calming his mind and repeating a single thought.
The war has ended and we are safe now. The quincy king and his Sternritters are defeated. Shiba Ichigo has saved Soul Society.
Everyone is safe.
Everyone is safe.
He drifted off again and slept soundly until his usual waking time, just before dawn. Before rising, he spent several minutes stretching slowly in his bed, then he left the warmth of the covers and ventured into the dressing area, where Torio dressed him in his shihakusho and haori, chatting casually with him as he prepared Byakuya to leave for work.
When he was dressed, Byakuya walked out into the gardens, where he found Tetsuya already dressed and ready to engage him in their morning ritual of exercise and ability training. They began with a run that started slowly, then graduated into flash steps that carried them out of the lovely gardens and onto a winding forest trail. The trail meandered through thick growths of bushes and trees, emerging just before a tall cliff, where water poured from a running river down, over the cliff and into a large lake beneath it. They flash stepped down the cliff face, their feet lightly touching several points of protruding rock, before they leapt away and landed in the long grass. Their swords were out and crossing almost instantly as they moved into a mixture of sword strikes and hakudo, adding intermittent blasts of kido as they engaged each other. The exchange went on for nearly an hour, graduating into a glowing display of released reiatsu, spinning pink petals and bursts of white ice blades. By the time the two finished their training, both were bathed in sweat and eager to strip their clothes away to swim naked in the lake for a time.
Byakuya's body splashed down into the water alongside his cousin's, and he felt Tetsuya's elemental power touch him, allowing him to breathe under the serene surface of the lake, to open his eyes and enjoy the swirling plants that grew in the lake's blue depths. As he propelled himself along, his mind wandered back to the dream that had awakened him, and in the tranquility offered by the dip into the water, he ruminated silently on the implications.
I don't think the dreams are so much about the war as about something else. To be honest, what stands out the most is that, in the dreams, unlike real life, Ichigo acknowledges me. He comes to me and kisses me. This suggests that it may still be war related, but it is a longing in me to depend on Ichigo's strength where mine fails.
I just need to be stronger than that.
A little, nagging voice objected at him dismissing the dreams that way, but he buried himself in his enjoyment of his time with Tetsuya, diving down deeper and racing alongside him as the two completed a circuit around the lake, then emerged out of the depths, with Tetsuya's power causing the water to separate from their hair and skin, leaving them dry and neatly groomed as they exited onto the shore.
They reached for their clothes, but a moment later, Tetsuya made a sound of surprise and disappeared into the nearby trees. Byakuya noticed then the two men standing on the shore, one a caramel skinned man with turquoise eyes that seemed not to react to his nakedness at all, while the ginger haired man with him gasped and blushed instantly, turning away.
"Shima taicho, Shiba Ichigo," he greeted them, blithely working at dressing, "it is quite early for a social call. Why have you come?"
"Sorry for flustering your lovely companion," Kurushimi apologized, looking in the direction Tetsuya had gone.
"Tetsuya is my bodyguard and head of house security," Byakuya corrected him, "He is instructed to limit his visibility to others."
"Your lovely cousin, then," Kurushimi answered, "I was sent by Kyouraku soutaicho to search this area for signs of a rogue quincy our forces sensed. You haven't seen any quincies loitering around your grounds, have you?"
Byakuya sighed.
"Only the one that has been bedding my fukutaicho lately," he replied dryly, "However, Officer Bazz-B has been designated an ally, so would have a reiatsu signature that our forces would recognize."
"Which means that what was sensed could be trouble," Kurushimi concluded.
"Erm…Byakuya," Ichigo interjected, "Can you like, tell me when you're finished dressing, so I know when to turn around?"
"I am clothed to the waist," Byakuya said sedately, "You are free to turn around whenever you want."
Ichigo turned to face him, still blushing brightly as Byakuya wrangled his top into place over the broad, white expanse of his muscular chest.
"We don't want to leave ourselves exposed," Kurushimi said, smiling slyly, "so if you and your bodyguard don't mind, we will reconnoiter around here. Tetsu-hana is, of course, invited to join us if he wishes, as he will have an interest in knowing if any nefarious creatures are skulking around here."
"You mean, besides yourselves?" Byakuya replied, tying his shihakusho at the waist.
"Hey, that's kinda harsh," Ichigo complained.
"Well, you are trespassing on this property," Byakuya pointed out.
"We were…" Ichigo began.
"Shima taicho was ordered to come here, but had an obligation to enter through the front gates after being recognized by the guards on duty."
"Formalities," Kurushimi said off-handedly.
"And you," Byakuya reminded Ichigo, "are not a member of the Gotei 13."
"He's the damned savior of Soul Society," Kurushimi snapped, "I imagine that means he can accompany me if he wants."
"Then, if you wish to see me with my clothes on, I suggest you both enter through the front gates next time," Byakuya scolded them.
He turned and flash stepped away, leaving the two looking after him and shaking their heads.
"What a jerk…" Ichigo huffed.
"I think he was born with a stick up his ass," Kuri muttered, "although it is a very nice ass."
"Shut up!" Ichigo snapped, his blush flaring up again.
"Ah, I think you're not unhappy about seeing the beautiful Byakurai in all of his glory, ne?" Kuri teased.
"You're delusional," Ichigo chided him, looking away.
"Is that right?" Kuri snickered, "Or is my dear cousin, Ichibun, just in denial?"
He sensed a small motion in the nearby trees and his smile widened.
"What do you think, pretty Tetsu-hana?" he asked.
Tetsuya stepped out from the trees, meeting Kuri's eyes with his own gemlike, sapphire ones.
"Gomen nasai," Tetsuya said respectfully, "My name is Kuchiki Tetsuya."
Tetsuya felt his heart quicken as Kuri's smile warmed charmingly.
"To me, you are Tetsu-hana, an iron flower, beautiful and dangerous both," he said appreciatively.
"As Shima-sama wishes then," Tetsuya said, turning away, "I will be at the main house if you sense anything amiss out here."
He flash stepped away, leaving Kuri looking after him and whistling softly.
"There ought to be a law against such loveliness," he sighed.
"Would you knock it off?" Ichigo said irascibly, "We've already managed to piss off Byakuya, and I just got to the point where he wasn't bugging me to go back to the world of the living all of the time."
"Poor Ichibun," Kuri chuckled, "Should we go and apologize?"
"No thanks," Ichigo answered, shaking his head, "I'd just give him another reason to be annoyed with me. I don't get how I'm so good at getting on his bad side."
"He probably likes you," Kuri snickered.
"Shut up, he does not!" Ichigo snapped, following as his cousin flash stepped away.
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Byakuya left Kuchiki Manor, passing by the house guards, then walking out onto the street and proceeding with his grey eyes focused straight ahead and his expression calm. He met the eyes of those passing, returning their greetings with a polite nod or a brief reply as politeness dictated. He was grateful for the fact that the streets were less populated at the early hour when he walked to work. Not that he minded the socialization, but he enjoyed the quiet that allowed him to escape into his mind.
He went back to thinking about the dream that had returned during the night, feeling a twinge of annoyance that even at night, thoughts of Ichigo seemed to invade and disrupt the peace in his head so often.
I am very grateful to Ichigo for his efforts in the war. He certainly honored what I had meant to be my last wishes. I am, perhaps, a little ashamed of having acted that way and lived. I think we both expected I was going to die.
It's making things awkward.
Having said something so intimate and private is unnerving me when I look at him. Or maybe it's that the dreams I have where he is kissing me are making me flustered when I see him now. I have never felt attracted to another man before. I wonder if I dare broach the subject when I speak to Aderia next time. She is bound by rules of confidentiality not to repeat to anyone what I tell her, but she is also the sister of Shima Kurushimi, and if he caught wind of this, I would never hear the end of it. No, it is better to just be quiet about it and wait it out. The dreams should fade with time.
Byakuya ascended the steps of the sixth division headquarters and opened the door to find Renji already at his desk and working. A moment later, he sensed through the scents of soap and aftershave the hints of quincy reiatsu that bore the marker of an ally and sighed.
He's spent the night with Officer Bazz-B again. He'll be useless today, daydreaming.
"Good morning, Taicho," Renji greeted him, smiling up at him.
"Abarai," Byakuya replied, heading to his desk and sitting down.
"The morning reports are in your inbox," the redhead went on, "This months assignments are done and on the board."
Byakuya glanced at his desk, then at Renji, who looked back at him questioningly.
"Is something wrong, Taicho?"
"Nothing," Byakuya replied dryly, "but when you emerge from the star-filled haze you are in, would you mind bringing me my morning tea?"
"Oh right!" Renji exclaimed, coming to his feet, "Sorry, Taicho, must have slipped my mind."
"It is fine," Byakuya answered, turning his attention to the reports in front of him.
He tried to concentrate, but found himself subtly distracted by the hints of seductive reiatsu in the air. And although it was obviously related to Renji's dalliance with the ally quincy, it brought Ichigo back into Byakuya's mind, further derailing his thoughts.
This is a phase…a passing fancy. It is nothing that needs to take up my attention. Ichigo is certainly both attractive and appreciably strong, both highly positive traits. But I am not seeking a romance, nor would I choose to pursue someone so disruptive, if I was. No, the only spouse I would ever take after Hisana would have to be one forced upon me by the elders…and they would not choose Ichigo for me either. I have to let this go.
He looked up curiously as the door to the headquarters flew open and Ichigo stepped into the room.
"Hey Byakuya, where's Renji?"
He never changes…
"In the kitchen," Byakuya answered, looking back down at his work.
"Thanks."
Why me?
"You are welcome."