Akatsuki News
Summary: Channel 13 5 o'clock News in Konoha has some new and interesting reporters on now…How will the ratings do??
Prologue: Cast and Crew
It was three o clock in the after noon and Jiraiya had two hours to find new crew members for the news that night since he fires the old crew and he wasn't fairing so well. That is until a group of unfortunate people walk in with a hiring flyer.
"Yo bitch we saw this god damn fucking flyer!" This girl with long silver purplish hair with menacing lavender eyes cursed holding up the flyer. Jiraiya began laughing nervously when he noticed what they were all wearing. These people were the utmost feared organization…The Akatsuki's. That's when he got a bright idea which caused him to smirk.
"Alright you all are hired!" Jiraiya said holding his arms out smiling evilly.
"Don't we like have to audition for the fucking positions?" Another girl with long green hair and red eyes asked and an arched eyebrow.
"Oh that won't be necessary I'll be choosing your parts. And since you two girls like cursing ya'll will be my breaking news reporters!" Jiraiya laughed pointing at the two girls who had spoken first thus far.
"What the fuck?! Why do you get to fucking choose what we're going to fucking do." This guy who looked like the first girl hissed crossing his arms across his chest.
"Hidan language!" Some girl with blue hair and a flower in it scolded.
"Flower-Chan shut up you bitch!" Hidan yelled glaring at her, said girl crossed her arms starring at him with a very dangerous look. The girl who looked like Hidan smacked her forehead sighing in disappointment.
"Why don't you both shut the fuck up before I cut both ya'lls god damn fucking heads off." The girl hissed annoyed.
"Amaya lets try not to start any fights yet please." The green haired girl said sighing in annoyance rubbing her temples.
"You shouldn't be talking Sasomi!" This guy who looked like said girl but with short red hair snapped. Jiraiya went into sweat drop as everyone began arguing.
"….SHUT UP!!!!!" Jiraiya yelled, everything went quiet as they starred at him.
"Okay now everyone state your name!" Jiraiya said everyone nodding.
"You already know who the fuck I am!" Amaya growled.
"Same with me!" Flower-Chan and Sasomi said.
"Sasori." The guy who looked similar to Sasomi said.
"Deidara un!" This guy said.
(Everyone knows what he looks like! I'll be putting picture links of everyone at the end of the chapter)
"Zetsu." A venus fly trap person said with two different voices.
"You already know me." Hidan growled.
"Kakuzu." A man with a mask said.
"TOBI'S A GOOD BOY!" A boy in an orange mask cheered everyone going into sweat drop.
"Uchiha…Itachi." The Uchiha prodigy said.
"Kisame Da Shark Man." A blue shark like man said smiling.
"Madara." An older version of Sasuke said.
"Hey aren't you supposed to be like 90 and dead?" Jiraiya asked.
"Don't ask." Madara narrowed his eyes at the Ero-Sanin.
"And everyone should know who I am….Yondaime the 4th Hokage at your service!" An older Naruto look alike said smiling Naruto's trade mark grin.
(OMG SPOILER….NOT!!!!!!!!)
"Um and you're supposed to be dead!" Jiraiya snapped pointing at his former student.
"Oh put a cork in it!" Yondaime growled.
"Okay well here's the list." Jiraiya said holding it up.
Position List and show order:
Yondaime- Anchor Number One
("YEA I'M NUMBER ONE!" Yondaime cheered.)
Madara- Anchor Number Two
("Why am I number two?" Madara twitched. "Get over it baby!" Yondaime smirked and the two began wrestling)
Sasori- Weather Person
("Well that's a boring part…oh well." Sasori said. "Tell me about it that's why I quit…It was so troublesome." Shikamaru said. "Where'd you come from?" Sasori asked. "I don't know." Shikamaru said and the two began thinking.)
Itachi- Special Report Interview in Konoha
("What the fuck?! Not good Sasuke's going to be there…Great I knew there was a conspiracy against me!" Itachi said everyone going into sweat drop and just decided to ignore him and stay quiet.)
Tobi- Lottery
("Ooooo What's a lottery?!" Tobi asked with sparkles in his eyes from under the mask. "Gambling." Amaya simply said.)
Deidara- Special Report Interview in Suna
("Ah fuck they're so going to kill me un!" Deidara complained. "Yea that's because you kidnapped and hurt their PRECIOUS Kazekage." Sasomi sarcastically said.)
Kisame- Sports
("SWEET SPORTS! This is so cool I was never able to play sports when I was a kid…" Kisame began explaining his bad child hood everyone tuning him out.)
Hidan- Traffic News
("What the…Is there even any traffic in Japan?!" Hidan asked everyone nodding in agreement but decided not to ask.)
Amaya- Breaking News Interview
("What the who am I supposed to interview?!" Amaya asked with twitching eyes. "Anybody interesting." Jiraiya said reading an Icha Icha Paradise Book he had written.)
Zetsu- Mailman Special
(Zetsu twitches, "Lunch." He said. "Zetsu you are forbidden to eat anybody." Yondaime and Jiraiya said, both sides of Zetsu now pouting.)
Sasomi- Breaking News Interview
("I have a bad feeling of who you're going to interview." Sasori said looking up at the girl. "Oh come now older brother it won't be that bad!" Sasomi said innocently placing hands out everyone going into sweat drop and sighed.)
Kakuzu- Camera Man
("What the fuck…Oh well its better than walking around and talking for an hour on end." Kakuzu said everyone going into sweat drop again.)
Flower-Chan- Second Producer
("Okay…well then who's the first producer?" Flower-Chan asked. "I am gorgeous." Jiraiya said and then got punched. 'Pervert!' Flower-Chan, Amaya and Sasomi thought all three women had punched him.)
'Why do I have a feeling this is going to go down the drain?' Jiraiya thought.
"Well you peeps get ready. I have a meeting to attend to so Flower-Chan you are going to be in charge. Remember the news starts at five." Jiraiya said and disappeared out the door.
"That god damn chicken! He fucking left us!" Amaya freaked beginning to get steamed, Hidan and Kakuzu sighing then hugged her.
"Don't worry our daughter we'll take care of him when he gets back." Kakuzu and Hidan said.
"Thank you daddies!" Amaya smiled.
"Alright you interview reporters get out there and find the people you are interviewing!" Flower-Chan cheered; Itachi and Deidara walked out mumbling curses about conspiracies against them, Amaya and Sasomi walked out smiling away happily.
"Now for the rest of you….get to your god damn positions or I'll bring out the fucking whip!" Flower-Chan yelled, everyone running to their spots. After a while it was two minutes before they go on air. Tobi had made a new sign.
Old Sign:
Konoha Channel 13 News
New Sign:
Akatsuki Central Channel 13 News
Kakuzu went into sweat drop but shrugged it off…He hoped it wouldn't come out of his pay check or Tobi was going to die.
"YO…FLOWER-CHAN! We need new camera's…But make sure they are cheap." Kakuzu said.
"Oh shut the fuck up bitch!" Flower-Chan said then went into her new office.
"Alright… FIVE…FOUR….THREE…TWO…ONE…" Kakuzu yelled then pointed at Yondaime and Madara….
TBC
Hahaha cliff hanger, well if you want more begin commenting...This has been a…GaaraKimimaroLover and Sailor Universe Darkness production.