The Victorian Times
LOCAL NEWS
In the local news, ten more hooligans have been caught by the English Police for vandalising church walls. It appears that the captured crooks were part of a gang, known as : The Black Spiders.
Police were able to find out crucial pieces of information on the gang and found their secret location. A warehouse containing Funtomhive Chocolate. Police have checked the chocolate for any drugs and found the answer, no.
Police Officer Randy states: "Well blimey, I could've sworn that anything containing sugar was disastrous to the body. Today, I was proved wrong. The chocolate tastes bloody good! It would suit my morning tea."
There you have it, Ladies and Gentlemen. Funtomhive chocolate tastes great with your cup of tea.
RISING YOUNG LORD
Today, we feature what the locals think of the young lord, Ciel Phantomhive.
A lady going by the name of Daisy states: "Lord Phantomhive? That young child right? Well, I reckon that someday, his whole world will come crashing down and he will turn gay." A young boy, who we know as a supporter of the young Earl shouted back: SHOVE OFF YOU PIECE OF MOLDY BREAD, CIEL'S AWESOME AND IF I HEAR YOU DISCRIMINATE HIM, I WILL MURDER YOU!"
He then threw a brick on the lady's head and was arrested by the Police.
TEACUP COMPANY REBELS
This is it, England! Hold on to your skirt ruffles and grab your sick buckets because this rebellion will make you scream in pure terror. England's favourite and most famous tea cup manufacturer, London Majestics, has decided to close down their company. When asked why, the head of the company, Sir Benjamin only replied: "I feel that we are drinking too much tea."
Well, shoot me in the head and call me a tea hater. This is definitely not what we expected of a true blue English man. Tea is England's favourite drink, and hearing Sir Benjamin say that makes us quiver in horror.