Disclaimer: I do not own Azumanga Daioh

Super Spies

By LonelyArtist

"You guys! You guys!" Tomo met her friends in Yukari's classroom on a dark rainy morning with those statements. She yelled them at the doorway and then made her way to the other side of the room where they all sat.

Yomi was sitting up on one of the desks, her legs kicking the air. She had been looking out the window at the rainstorm, but now turned to face the interruption. "What, Tomo." Her glasses gleamed in the way only an annoyed Yomi's glasses can.

Tomo jumped up and down a few times before she gave her answer. Osaka's eyes followed Tomo's head, making her a little dizzy. Tomo settled down and proclaimed her news. "I'm gonna be a super spy!"

Yomi nodded and chewed the inside of her lip a little. She turned back to the rain.

Osaka had stopped paying attention before Tomo had even begun to speak. She drooled a little, staring at a space a few inches from Tomo's face.

Tomo was still beaming proudly when Chiyo got up and tugged on her shirt a little to snap her out of her daydream. "But Miss Tomo, how are you going to do that? I've heard that being a spy is really hard!"

Tomo sighed and rolled her eyes dramatically. "That's why I'm going to be a super spy. It's much more fun and much less of a challenge than a normal spy."

Kagura was sitting in the chair of the desk that Yomi was sitting on. She had been leaning back, arms crossed behind her head, but now she sat up to confront the crazy girl talking about being a spy. "Where do you get this information? What is a super spy?"

Tomo struck another triumphant pose and stared somewhere off to the side. "A super spy…is me!"

Yomi snorted, but didn't say anything or look away from the window.

Sakaki still did not say a word, but continued to listen politely.

Tomo sat down on the desk behind her, much to the annoyance of the boy sitting on the seat. "Anyway, I'm totally going somewhere with this."

Yomi turned with one eyebrow raised above the other. "Really? That's a surprise."

"Yeah." Tomo put a serious look on her face. "See, I've been watching this school late at night--"

"Why?" Yomi scrunched up her face in utter confusion.

"Never mind that now," Tomo snapped, "this is important. Anyway, I've been watching this school late at night and I've noticed strange lights and movements in this very room."

"I'm sure it's just Ms. Yukari," Chiyo suggested.

Tomo looked at Chiyo with a stone cold face that made her shudder. "Do you know Ms. Yukari to come to school late at night? I didn't think so." Tomo looked back up to the others. "My theory is that there's someone--" she stopped and looked around.

"What is it, Tomo-Chan?" Osaka had snapped out of her half-sleep to see Tomo peering under desks and in corners.

Tomo stood up and straightened out her blue shirt, which had ridden up on her in her search for some unknown item. She bent in to whisper to her friends. "My theory is that someone is planting bugs in this room, trying to find out our secrets."

"What secrets?" Kagura had said this a little too loud for Tomo, so Tomo covered Kagura's mouth rather hurriedly.

Tomo looked around again, with her hand still over Kagura. "Shush," she finally said, removing her hand slowly. "They could be listening right now."

Yomi sighed. "The purpose of bugs is that they can listen all the time."

Tomo put her face right up in Yomi's. "You're one of them, aren't you!"

Yomi didn't flinch. "Yes. Yes I am." Much to her surprise, however, Tomo then punched her in the gut.

Yomi was still doubled over when Yukari strode into the room. "To your seats!" She yelled. "This is not a lounge!"

Everyone scurried to his respective seat.

At lunch that day, the girls made their way to the roof. After all, that's where food tastes the best.

Tomo stood in front of the group, sandwich still gripped (with one bite taken) in her right hand. "Here's the plan guys! We meet in front of the school at eight tonight! Sneak out if you have to!" Chiyo raised her hand. "Yes, Chiyo."

"I'm really sleepy at eight o'clock."

"Very well. You stay home, and be our emergency headquarters."

"What?"

"If we get shot at, we're calling you to call the police."

"Couldn't we just call the police ourselves," Yomi asked.

Tomo took another large bite out of her sandwich. "Moofing on," she said with a full mouth. "Everyone wear dark clothes. Black, preferably."

Kagura decided to put her two cents in. "It's really not that dark at eight this time of year."

"Grey, then!"

Sakaki still did not say a word. But Yomi coughed. "None of us actually agreed to this."

Tomo glared at each of her friends in turn. "Meet me there."

So they met her there. Tomo was in full spy garb, including night goggles, grappling rope, and walky-talky (its twin resting Chiyo-Chan's home). The others just wore dark grey jumpsuits. Yomi, however, wore what she had changed into after school, a plain black skirt, a blouse, and a jacket.

Tomo glared at her friend. "Hey! Why are you wearing that! People will see you!"

"I think they'll see all of us no matter what we wear. And at least I won't draw suspicion as much as you guys."

After a brief argument with Yomi and then discussions of the plan, they were ready. Tomo pointed towards the school. "Let's roll!"

They ran up to the school's front door. Tomo was surprised to find it locked.

"What did you expect, idiot," Kagura asked.

Tomo turned her glare to Kagura. She thought for a few seconds. "What did your boobs expect?"

Kagura stomped on her foot. "That doesn't make sense!"

"Ouch! It doesn't have to! I'm a super spy!"

They walked around the building until they found a back door that was unlocked. They slipped in. They ran as silently as they could, though Tomo's black cargo boots made quite a lot of noise on the ground.

When they got to the hallway with Yukari's classroom in it, Tomo stopped and leaned up against the wall. She pulled out a water gun and held it in both hands.

Yomi, standing right behind her, clicked her tongue. "What are you doing, moron?"

Tomo put her hand on Yomi's mouth. "Shush." She peered around the corner. Removing the hand from her friend's mouth, Tomo put both hands on the gun again. "Okay, gang. The light in Yukari's room is on. Someone is in there." She looked to Yomi. "Yomi, we might not make it out of here alive." She put the night goggles on the top of her head so Yomi could make eye contact. "There's something I want you to know."

Yomi furrowed her brow. Tomo sounded awfully serious, and her face matched. "What is it, Tomo?"

Tomo's eyes watered a little. "I think you…I think you…"

"What, Tomo, what?"

"I think you need contacts."

Yomi didn't move. Tomo's face didn't get any less serious.

Tomo turned back to the hallway. "Let's roll!"

The group ran to the door and burst in. "Get those hands down!" Tomo yelled.

Osaka whispered in her ear, "I think you mean up."

"Up!" Tomo yelled.

She then took a moment to see who was in the room. It was Ms. Yukari, sitting at her desk, a pen in one hand and papers in the other. Her mouth was open, staring at the girls. Finally she blinked hard once, then set her things down. "Girls, what is going on?"

Tomo's face was bright red. She was unable to talk.

Sakaki finally stepped up and bowed to Ms. Yukari. "We're selling for a fundraiser, Ms. Yukari. Are you interested?"

Yukari smiled. "I don't know. What are you selling?"

"Well…we have no shortage of super spies."

Yukari nodded. "I see. Well, I have no need for any spice, so I guess I'll take the soup."

The End.

Yes. I wrote a whole story to build up a really bad pun. I hope you enjoyed it.

Good luck!

LonelyArtist