a/n: Written for Aiiimy's Daily Song Challenge at HPFC. Also, my first attempt at a HarryGinny so we'll see how this goes.
Pairing: HarryGinny
Prompt(s): "And in that moment, I swear we were infinite." - The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Stephen Chbosky; Red, Forgiveness
almost infinite
"Some things we don't talk about, rather do without."
-Never Say Never, The Fray
Harry heard many disdainful comments by the Dursleys in his lifetime, often involving him. But there was only one that would stick with him for the rest of his life.
It was centered around the news that he wasn't supposed to be listening to, but did anyway. A rowdy bunch of kids had apparently broken into the local convienience store, making off with several packs of cigarettes. The Dursleys would have normally passed over something like this but it so happened that both the brand stolen and store itself were a particular favorite of Vernon Dursley's and thus, cause for comment.
"Hrmph," he'd sniffed, reaching possessively for the pack in his pocket, "Teenagers. They think their bloody invincible don't they? Act like they're immortal, they do! Help me God if Dudley ever gets himself in that mind set!"
Petunia had wrinkled her nose at the thought of her darling boy getting into such shenanigans and Harry choked down a laugh at her utter resemblance to a horse before slipping back upstairs to his room.
That night, when he dreamed of four mischievous boys wreaking havoc and their eventual downfall from grace and woke up, he began to wonder if Uncle Vernon had, perhaps for the first time in his life, made a good point.
...
The first time he begins to understand is during the long spring days of sixth year, his life so wrapped up in GinnyGinnyGinny. He was Harry Potter, quidditch captain and victor and had the most brilliant girlfriend he could ever hope for. Despite the war- despite everything, he was happy.
So naturally, things had to come crashing down. Because he's Harry Potter, remember? And he's anything but infinite.
...
If he was honest with himself, the idea of ending things Ginny was- to say the least- frightening. She was a hurricane, a force to be reckoned with, fiery hair and a sharp mouth to match, one that she could have only learned from her brothers.
When she walks away from him, too calmly to be normal (because he knows her), he realizes that forgiveness- if he ever gets the chance to ask for it- isn't going to come easily.
...
If Harry ever saw Vernon Dursley again, there was one thing he'd like to tell him.
That it's pretty bloody difficult to feel so invincible when your vision is swimming in red- red light, red blood; it's all one in the same on the battlefield ruins of Hogwarts.
He's pretty sure someone stuck a knife through his heart somewhere along the way, because feeling this way can't be normal. But many things are far from normal in this red world around him- normally, you don't bury classmates. Normally, you don't bury your best mate's brother. Normally, you don't watch the red red blood stain the castle's floor.
It's the evening of May second and life is shit- an unforgiving mess that stabs deeper with every step.
He's seventeen and he's far too fallible.
...
She approaches him sometime after F-F- the last funeral. She slips a freckled arm around his shoulder and leads him away from the Burrow and all its inhabitants.
"Listen, Harry-"
"Can we please not talk about it?" he asks, cutting her off mid-sentence, exhausted and not wanting to broach the fact that he'd just help bury 10- 20- to be honest he'd lost count of how many people it was.
Ginny looked affronted, shock displaying over her pretty face and her warm, comforting arm leaving his shoulder oh so cold. She stuffed her hands in her pockets, seemingly disappointed that they didn't extend any further. She swung her hair in front of her face, looking down at her shoes and feeling like she was twelve again- a bumbling mess in front of the great Harry Potter.
"Right then," she said, "see you later, yeah?"
Harry picks at the grass as she walks away, ripping a blade in half again and again until it's no more than a speck to the human eye. He figures she must have been halfway gone when he took a turn out of self-loathing to realize the war had not been what she was going to talk about and how idiotic was he for thinking that? She had never mentioned it, not since it ended.
He supposed this was the part where he was supposed to leap up and run after her and gather her in his arms, begging for forgiveness.
But this was no fairytale and he was no prince- just a worn down acting hero (a role that he never wanted in the first place)
...
There would be years- decades even to remember, to feel, to forget but never lose sight. And yes, there would be years for forgiveness too.
(Because she was Ginny Weas- Potter. And Ginny Potter doesn't forgive so easily)
'And though,' Harry thought as his wife (wife!) rested her head on his chest, 'though he may have been stripped of childhood, of teenage immortality, he would sure try his darndest to make up for it now'
Perhaps they would never be infinite, be those kids that Uncle Vernon had complained incessently about.
But they sure as hell could try.
fin.