A/N: The last episode of season 2 has got to be my most favorite episode of the entire series so far. I've tried my level best to try and capture a fraction of what might have been going on inside Sherlock's head in the later half of the episode but like my friend Griselda Banks pointed out, it would take a genius of Sherlock's level to truly get inside his head and portray him properly. Sadly, I am not that genius. Still, I hope you can still enjoy my attempt at getting in that man's head. ^_^;
Dedicated to Griselda Banks for inspiring this one-shot with her wonderful portrayal of John's feelings post Sherlock's 'death'.
P.S. I read over this a couple of times myself but my beta is a little busy at the moment so I'm putting up an unbeta'ed story. Rest assured though that I'll replace this with the beta'ed version once she sends it to me. For now, feel free to lemme know if you find any glaring errors in here.
Enjoy~
"When you sell a big lie you back it up with the truth to make it that much powerful." Moriarty's plan was unraveling in my head even as I spoke those words. Moriarty posing to be my childhood friend, using that reporter –oh so desperate for a big scoop- to put his plan in motion. Discredit me by making me out to be a fake who planned all those elaborate crimes just to gain some popularity- which if anyone had actually taken care notice would know was a lie in itself. I did not care for popularity nor my public image. And it frustrated John to no end.
"It's your word against his."
"His been sowing doubt into the people's minds in the last 24 hours." Ordinary men fear what they cannot understand. It is in their nature. And at times, what they fear is what they worship. But sometimes their fear of the thing they have placed so high up on the pedestal is overcome by courage born out of knowledge of that thing's weakness. That is the time when the gods they worship are cast aside to make way for something new. Moriarty said he owed me a fall. Planting doubt inside people's heads, the rigged trial, the robbery, the breakout, it was all just leading up to the grand finale. His one final problem. "There's only one thing he needs to do to complete his game and that's to…" I trailed off, cursing myself for not having seen this before. It was all so obvious now. The final problem. The icing on the cake. The grand finale.
Moriarty had said so himself. He owed me a fall. And just how ironic would it be if it were a fall not only figuratively speaking but also literally. Oh he was clever, that one. But I knew what I had to do. I had to beat Moriarty at his own game to ensure my victory. I had to make him think he was winning when in reality I would be the one to play him. Leaving John where he stood, I hurried off to set my counterplan into motion.
-0-
John's loyalty to me never failed to amaze me. He had started out as my flat mate. Someone I had meant to use to split my rent. That and someone I could have at my disposal for my own amusement. That was how it had all started out but now… it was amazing how he put so much faith in me even when he really had no reason to not believe the elaborate lie Moriarty fabricated.
I had lied to him, tricked him and even used him on occasion to test out my theories and sometimes even just to amuse myself so then why was it that he still stuck by my side when I had reassured him time and again that I could not care less for ordinary men like him.
Somehow I could not bring myself to look him in the eye as he told me that we had to go see Mrs. Hudson. Mrs. Hudson who had been shot by one of the hitmen I had attracted to our neighborhood. Or that was the deduction John drew. If only he had looked closely enough, he might have noticed the way I was avoiding looking at him, even as I so callously brushed Mrs. Hudson aside as nothing more than my landlady. She was much more than that and I was sure John would have been able to tell had he actually looked at me instead of that exasperated glance he spared me in his worry. I could tell he was disappointed in me and even if it hurt just a little, I was glad I had managed to drive him away in anger.
"You stay here on your own!"
"Alone is what I have. Alone protects me."
It would be good for him to hate me. What I was about to do would be a lot easier for both of us that way.
"No. Friends protect people."
I breathed an internal sigh of relief as he stormed off, the door swinging shut on its creaking hinges just as my cellphone beeped. The next phase of my plan was already in motion.
-0-
To make him believe that I was the one being fooled all this time, that was what my plan was all along. And of course to make Moriarty believe I was not as clever as I had claimed to be. But of course to sell such a big lie I had to back it up with the truth.
"Richard Brook."
"Nobody seems to get the joke… but you do."
"Of course. Richard Brook in German is Reichenbach. The case that made my name."
I admit that was clever of him. Choosing the name of that case for his false identity. He was flaunting it around and yet, no one but me could puzzle out the reason behind it. Tapping my fingers to the rhythm of the beat just as he had done at my flat, I waited for him to take the bait.
"Good. You got that too."
"Beats like digits. Every beat is a one. Every rest is a zero. Binary code. That's why all those assassins tried to save my life. It was hidden on me. Hidden inside my head."
With the truths out of the way, I could now finish laying my trap. It was foolish of Moriarty to underestimate me, but I had decided to use that to my advantage last night when I first realized his plan.
"Now that it's up here, I can use it to alter all the records. I can kill Rich Brook and bring back Jim Moriarty."
As the saying went.
Hook. Line. Sinker.
-0-
I was clever. I had always known that. Far too clever than everyone else around me. Things unraveled before me so easily that baffled the ordinary people I was forced to live with. Of course I preferred living my life relying on no one else but myself for that very reason but even so, I had somehow found myself making friends. Friends I never even knew I had until John came into my life. Until Moriarty threatened to destroy me completely. This had all started out as one big game of chess. Moriarty had his pawns and I had mine. We moved across one giant checkered board, moving across black and white, dancing a dance invisible to the ordinary men. John came close to seeing a step or two at times but even he could never fully comprehend this complex match going on between us. Two sides of the same coin. Moriarty and I. Black and white. Complete opposites yet exactly the same.
And it was because of that, that just as Moriarty had underestimated me, I- the great Sherlock Holmes had somehow ended up making the same mistake. We were both willing to go to any length to ensure their victory. I was foolish to have overlooked the possibility of something like this occurring.
"Okay. Let me give you and extra incentive. Your friends will die if you don't."
"John…"
My heart thundered inside my chest, threatening to escape from my body, shattering my ribcage, at the very thought of something happening to my flat-mate. Life without John would be… meaningless.
"Not just John. Everyone."
I could see it all in his eyes. That glee. That insanity. He was beyond overjoyed at the very thought of having backed me up into a corner.
"Mrs. Hudson."
"Everyone."
Jim Moriarty was everything that I could have become. Everything I could still become if I lost the only people in the world that mattered to me.
"Lestrade."
"Three bullets. The gunmen. Three victims. There's no stopping them now. Unless my people see you jump."
The world seemed to slip out right from underneath my feet as I let go of Moriarty. This game had gotten so much deadlier. Before, it had only been me and Moriarty. But now… now the three people I had never even realized I had cared about were going to die because of me. Unless… The choice was mine and mine alone. My life or theirs.
I knew what I had to do.
I had to complete Moriarty's story. Die in disgrace and let him be the victor.
-0-
Moriarty was dead. He shot himself in the head the minute he realized I had even an ounce of a chance at coming out the victor. That man had instead chosen to drag me down with him. I had no way out of this. To ensure that I burned just the way he wanted, Moriarty had killed himself. And now… now there was no way… no other way left for me. I had to die. I had to die or they would die and if they died I knew I would no longer have a reason to go on. My only three friends in the entire world.
Funny how I had somehow gotten so attached with these ordinary simpletons. When had that happened anyway? Wasn't I supposed to be a sociopath? I was not supposed to even have all those silly little human emotions in the first place. I was supposed to be completely detached from them. Far removed from the things that made up these ordinary people. They were merely interesting creatures for me to observe and amuse myself with. so then… why was I doing this?
I could see John climb out of the cab just as I rang his number. Poor John. He looked so worried. Once again I was startled to see him display such an emotion for someone like me when only a mere hour before he had stormed away from me in disgust at my lack of humanity.
"Look up I'm on the rooftop."
"Oh God."
I could hear the fear in his voice and I could tell that he knew what I was about to do.
"I-I… I can't come down so we'll just have to do it like this."
My voice cracked a little but I reeled in my emotions. It was them or myself. And I had already made my decision on who it had to be. My throat clogged up a little as I looked down at John's tiny form, panic clearly dancing across his face. I had always looked down on them all. Him and Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade and now here I was about to do the unspeakable for their sakes.
Oh how they were all going to hate me for it. But then again, I don't think could ever tell them the truth. In fact it would be better if they all hated me. That way they would not grieve for me. It would be easier for them to deal with the hole my death was going to leave in their lives, if there even was going to be a hole there in the first place. So, I opened my mouth and spoke out loud the words that the world at large already believed about me.
"I'm a fake. The newspapers were right all along."
"Sherlock." That single word, my name uttered from his lips was all I needed to ear to know he did not believe what I had told him. I could hear it in his voice. Why wouldn't the stupid man just give up on me? I was trying to make this easier for him. Couldn't he see that?
"Tell anyone who would listen to you that I created Moriarty for my own purposes." My voice was shaking and I knew that this was it. This was how it was going to end. I was going to lose my friends either way but at least… at least this way they would not be dead.
"Okay Sherlock, shut up. The first time we met. The first time we met, you knew all about my sister, right?" John still did not believe me. He was not giving up on me. So stubborn, that one. I had underestimated him too. I had underestimated just how much trust he placed in me. It wasn't the first time I had made that mistake today. Or maybe the reason why my lies were not convincing enough was because John had seen firsthand what I could do. And maybe… Maybe he refused to buy it all because I had failed to back it up with the truth. But what else was there for me to say?
"Nobody could be that clever."
"You could." John shot back without missing a beat. My vision grew blurry even as a small choked up laugh escaped my throat. John Watson still amazed me. He truly was a great man. And a great friend. Never before had I met someone so staunchly loyal to me. It was quite sad that the moment I truly came to appreciate his presence in my life, I had to give him up.
I had to vanish from his life. I had to die.
A tear trailed down my face, unbidden as I built upon my lie. Built upon it to spare John the pain. It was better for him to hate me and live the rest of his life than to remember and mourn me. A man like me did not deserve to be mourned. Did not deserve to be remembered by someone like him. Not for what I was about to do.
I had no idea how long I had before the gunmen pulled their triggers. But I did know that time was running out for me. Time was running out for them. It had to be done. And I was the only one that could do it. I had tried to spare him the pain. I had tried to help him. I was going to die. Going to kill myself just the way Moriarty had planned. Just the way Moriarty had wanted. And it was going to hurt John. I knew it was going to because of how the man still refused to leave my side. But this was it. This was the end for the two of us. The end of the line.
"This phone call… it's my note. It's what people do, don't they? Leave a note."
"Leave a note when?"
I could hear the dawning horror and panic in his voice. The man that had proven himself to be a true friend. My best friend. And so, for the sake of keeping him alive. For the sake of keeping all three of them alive, I bade my goodbye.
"Good bye John."
And took the Fall of Riechenbach.
