1. Serenading people is only appropriate in movies. It shouldn't be attempted.
Killian's eyes glittered under the lamppost.
"Lad, are you sure this will work?"
Henry eagerly nodded.
"Oh course it will. Serenading people always works. Haven't you ever seen a movie?"
"A what?"
"Never mind. Go on!"
Henry pushed him under a window.
Killian stood under the open window of his True Love and started to sing.
"I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss."
He didn't need to sing any further, as a bewildered Emma stuck her head out of the window. He breathed in and made an effort to continue, but Emma threw a shoe at him.
"I'm going to take that as a sign of disapproval."
In a moment, Emma had run down to him.
"What on earth was that?" she asked in an amused tone.
Killian scratched his neck.
"Well the lad..."
He turned around, but Henry was nowhere to be seen.
Emma gave in to her amusement and started laughing.
"I just embarrassed myself didn't I?"
Emma put her arms around his neck.
"You and me both. What will happen to my reputation of a stern cop when the neighbors find out I'm being serenaded."
Still laughing, she gave him exactly what he had been dreaming of.
2. No matter her accent, I shouldn't assume that Belle is Australian.
"Good eye might."
Belle looked up at the grinning little boy in front of her, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.
"Sorry?"
"Throw a shrimp on the barbie."
"What?"
"You're such a dag Belle."
"A what?"
At this point she was seriously worried about his health. After all, preteen and teenage years are when many mental disorders begin to show.
But Henry wasn't done.
"So, Tony Abbot...what a dipstick."
"What's a dipstick?"
Dismissing her, he continued.
"What I want to know is how did they steal that giant mango."
Hearing that, she recalled an article about a mango being stolen in Australia.
"Henry, you know that I'm not Australian, right?"
"Crikey! I hadn't got an earthly!"
3. I am not allowed to form a choir.
Regina watched Robin and Marian talk. They looked and acted like a family.
Robin caught her eye and started to walk over to her. In the last few days, she had become quite adept at dodging him. Unfortunately, he had become quite adept at not letting her get away. As he opened his mouth to say something, a loud noise was heard."
Hoping with all her heart that this wasn't some sort of a new evil to fight, she ran onto the street outside Granny's.
When she came across the source of the sound, her jaw dropped.
"Ding dong! The Witch is dead," sang her son, walking up Main Street.
The dwarves behind him, including a reluctant Grumpy, continued, "Which old witch?"
Somewhere in the cluster of dwarves, she heard Roland's boyish voice respond, "The Wicked Witch!"
Robin came out, and on seeing the group, called out to his Merry Men. They flocked to him, and were soon singing songs from a certain musical.
4. I am not allowed to bet on people's love lives.
The two men met in the narrow alleyway.
David held out a fifty dollar bill.
"I bet fifty dollars on The Outlaw choosing The Queen."
Grumpy nodded and took the money.
Out of nowhere, Jefferson came storming into the alleyway.
"David if you are betting on anyone other than The Vixen, my tools will prove exactly how much damage they can do."
5. I am not allowed to spray bug spray at .
Archie was walking Pongo to Granny's, when he was assaulted by a can, whose top appeared to by taped down, resulting in a continuous spray of some substance.
After examining the bruise it left, he began to have a coughing fit.
He looked down at his hand to see that it was swelling up.
He took a deep breath, calmed himself down, and ran like a mad man towards the hospital.
6. I shall not use Rumplestiltskin's dagger as a butter knife.
Belle was making a picnic snack for an upcoming lunch date with her husband.
She turned to take out a knife, only to see that there weren't none.
After making sure that Rumple was nowhere nearby, she found his dagger under his desk, which wasn't where she had left it. After concluding that Rumple must have taken it out for something, she stuck it into the almost frozen butter and spread it on the bread.
Miles away, her husband felt a cold shiver run through him.
7. Puns are bad. I should remember that.
Emma and Hook were bantering over coffee, when Henry ran into Granny's.
"Killian! I was just on your new ship and there are leaks everywhere!"
The pirate apologized to Emma and ran to the pier. After all, he had just bought a new ship, and he didn't want it to sink.
Approaching his ship, he saw that it looked suspiciously green.
He drew his sword and approached it.
The deck of his ship was covered in hundreds, if not thousands, of leeks.
8. I am not allowed to fake eating a poisoned apple.
Ruby and Dr. Whale were flirting outside Granny's. She caught Emma's eye behind Whale and nodded. She took a bite out of an apple, and fell to the ground.
After the initial shock, Whale sat down next to her and reached out to check her pulse. At this point, Emma walked over and said in a monotone voice, "Oh no. That was a poisoned apple. Only True Love's Kiss can save her now. And you seem like a possible candidate"
Forgetting all about modern science, he leaned down to kiss Ruby, who responded aggressively within seconds.
As they sat on the sidewalk, making out like hormonal teenagers, Whale missed Ruby slipping Emma a ten dollar bill.
9. Rumplestiltskin is not a fairy godmother, nor is he a fashion designer.
Mr. Gold stared at the woman in front of him. Ruby held out a magazine and fluttered her dog-like eyelashes.
"Can you please make me the dress on page 54. In black, if possible?"
"Why would I do that?"
"Because all of the dresses you have conjured up are absolutely gorgeous, and you are the closest thing to a fairy godmother that there is. But since I don't want something as suffocating as a ballgown, please use the magazine as a reference."
As she started to rant about how she wanted the dress to look, Mr. Gold wished that he had let certain people go to balls dressed as peasants.
10. I am not allowed to steal my girlfriend's car.
Emma glared at the driver of the now-wrecked yellow car. She sent it off to be repaired, and then turned to face her supposed True Love.
Killian sheepishly looked up at her from his spot on the grass.
"You see...the lad wanted some sort of iced cream and..."
"You decided to take out my car after one lesson. Why did you listen to his demands anyway?"
Emma had not expected to see the pirate blush.
"I was trying to win his approval."
So there you have it! I wanted to write something new, preferably without a plot and this happened. Leave suggestions and tell me how you liked it!