A/N: This takes place between Yuri and Flynn's big monster battle after Zaude and the final battle of the game. It was my first Vesperia fic, and largely a vehicle to express my feels and a little bit of my interpretation of Yuri's character. My friend and I have been discussing him for weeks.

Spoiler for the incident at Zaude. Warnings for a little bit of language, reference to sex.

Disclaimer; The characters and settings in this story are borrowed from Tales of Vesperia and do not belong to me.

I left the inn that night feeling restless and wound up. I'd been like that more often lately. One problem led to another led to another. The world was going to hell in a hand basket and while the Adephagos may have been the biggest crack in the dam, they certainly weren't the only one. I felt hemmed in among the buildings, and followed the main road out of town.

"Not sneaking off on your own again, are you?" Judy stood in the shadows, leaning against the outside of the city gates.

"Wouldn't dream of it. Just needed some fresh air." I joined her, staring up at the sky. The barrier outshone the stars, a cold light made less reassuring by the presence of a translucent, questing tentacle of the Adepahgos visible in the distance.

"Yuri, there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

"All right, go ahead."

"When we fought Gusios, even though he was on the verge of becoming an Adephagos, even though there was nothing else we could have done, I still regretted it. You told us you had no regrets about killing Ragou and Cumore, but…is that really true? We fight monsters all the time, but to kill another person…."

"You can't really compare the situations. Gusios lost himself trying to save the world. Those two were nothing more than monsters in human skin. What I did was against the law, and I'm sure plenty of people would say I'm no better than they were, but my actions saved lives. I don't believe that's anything I should regret."

"The same law that failed to punish those two will condemn you. What will you do when all this mess is sorted out and those in power remember what you've done? Are you counting on your friend in the Knights securing a pardon for you?"

I almost laughed at the thought. "What do you think of Flynn?"

She considered for a moment. "Well, I've only met him a couple of times, but I can tell he's strong and plenty of people respect him. He also seems…valiant."

"He's all those things," I said, nodding. "He's noble, uncompromising, and too honest to let his position in the Knights corrupt him. Flynn is the leader this world is going to need. He wouldn't use his influence to have my crimes overlooked. That's the way it should be. No one should be above the law.

"The system we have in place right now is broken. It has been for a long time. People like Ragou and Cumore take advantage of that. They're the worst kind of scum, but Flynn and his knights were powerless to stop them.

"It won't always be like this, though. Flynn's doing his best to change things from within. That's why, until the day comes when the world doesn't need people like me anymore, I'll do what Flynn can't. I don't mind dirtying my hands if it means I can protect people until Flynn is strong enough to change things."

I lapsed into silence, a little surprised that I'd let myself get carried away talking like that. Judy would understand, though. She'd worked in the shadows to save the world, too. Flying around with Ba'ul to destroy the Hermes blastia, Judy had done her best to eliminate a threat that no one else would, and had made enemies in the process. She would understand.

"You know, I may have something to say about that." I jumped at the sound of Flynn's voice. He'd managed to sneak up on me because he wasn't wearing his armor for once, the bastard.

"Flynn. What are you doing out so late?"

"The same as you, I'd imagine." He turned to Judy. "Excuse me…Judith, right? I'd like to talk to Yuri if you don't mind."

"Be my guest. I was just getting ready to turn in." Judy paused as she passed me and leaned close, lowering her voice so that Flynn couldn't overhear.

"I've been traveling with you all this time, and I've never seen you look the way you did a few moments ago. When you talk about him, it doesn't seem like you're only talking about a friend." She took a step back and giggled. "I guess you're hiding lots of secrets behind that pretty face."

"Yeah, just don't tell Karol, all right? I'm in enough trouble with Brave Vesperia about keeping secrets."

"Oh, I think we could forgive you this one. Good night." She waved and was gone, leaving only Flynn and me alone outside the city.

"What was that all about?"

"Nothing important, just some guild business. What did you want to talk to me about?"

"Don't play games, Yuri. You know exactly what I want to talk to you about. I heard your little speech just now. Is that how you really feel? Do you really think your future is worth less than everyone else's?"

Sighing, I shrugged my shoulders. I really hadn't wanted to have this argument with him, ever. "There always have to be sacrifices, Flynn. You know that as well as I do. This is my way of fighting for what I believe in."

"But why couldn't you have found another way? The more I think about it, the less I can say with confidence that you were in the wrong, but…."

No, Flynn, I thought. You can't waiver in your convictions. Not with me, not with anyone.

"Why not? What I did wasn't justice, Flynn. It wasn't even vengeance. I murdered those two men. Both of them begged me to spare their lives, as if they hadn't ignored those same pleas from the people they sacrificed. Ragou wasn't even armed. Appropriate, really. He must've felt exactly like those children he fed to his pet mon—"

Flynn's fist came out of nowhere, knocking me flat on my ass. He dropped on top of me and grabbed me by my collar.

"What the hell happened to you, Yuri? You weren't like this before! What changed?"

"Nothing changed, I just grew up. I'm not like you, Flynn. I can't change the world."

I might not be like Flynn, but he was like me. He said he owed much of what he'd been credited as achieving to me, that I ought to tell everyone how much I had done. He didn't try very hard to set the record straight on his own, though. And when Cumore died, Flynn had been on the scene practically before the bastard had been buried. There'd been a rope on the ground next to me, left there expressly to help rescue anyone who fell into the pit. He could've tried to save Cumore, but he hadn't. Deep down, he knew I was right. He knew that he was destined to be the hero, and he knew that in order to maintain his position and the trust of the people, his conduct had to be beyond reproach. He had to be perfect. He had to be pure.

I could handle the rest.

"You're an idiot! What's the point if we don't do this together? We promised, didn't we?"

I grabbed his wrists and squeezed. "Didn't you hear what I said? Don't start questioning your path! If you can't fulfill your role, then everything I've done will be wasted. I'll do what I can to protect the world. I'll save it or die trying. But if this world is going to change for the better, you have to be the one to do it!"

I had no faith in the emperor or the council, the leader of the guilds or the Pallestrale. The Knights were useless. Flynn was the only one who was different. He wasn't the perfect knight, he was the ideal knight. He was the knight that cared for all the citizens of the empire, whether they lived in the nobles' quarter or the lower quarter. If he did his job right, he could create a world where everyone could laugh. It would be the sort of world that didn't have a place for murderers like myself. I'd put my hopes for the future of Terca Lumireis on Flynn's shoulders. In exchange, I would play my role in the screwed up world we lived in right now and when my part was done, I would gladly accept the place in hell I'd carved out for myself.

He slumped over me with a pained expression, then slowly gathered himself and stood. "Come to my room," he said, quietly.

"Can't we finish our talk out here?" I picked myself up and dusted off my clothes.

"I hadn't intended on doing much more talking."

"If you wanna fight, outside is definitely better."

He turned on me with sudden vehemence. "Damn it, Yuri, are you going to make me spell it out for you?"

I could guess what he was getting at. I'd almost kissed Flynn once, back during those few months I'd trained as a knight. He'd fallen asleep before me and I'd stayed awake for a while, watching him and thinking about us, about our friendship and the promises we'd made to each other. Even back then, I was beginning to see what paths our destinies would lead us down, and in the end, I'd buried the impulse and gone to bed. We were only a few feet apart, but in the darkness that night, that small distance became a chasm between us that I could feel growing wider and wider.

Months later, after I'd left the Knights and we'd gone our separate ways, I received a letter from Flynn. Most of it was inconsequential details about his training and some of the other knights he was posted with. Then, at the very end, a simple, almost hasty 'I love you.' I never responded to the letter. When we crossed paths again, he didn't mention it.

"Look, Flynn, I don't know what's gotten into you, but maybe you'd better just go get some sleep."

Without warning, he shoved me up against the gate and kissed me. The shock of it froze me for a moment, long enough for him to slip his tongue into my mouth and his hands into my shirt, and by the time I could move again it was too late. Flynn, my friend, my foil, my rival, the man who embodied my hope for the future and had become the hero I couldn't be. I pulled him closer, caught up in the kiss, and hoped the moment would stretch out forever, hoped I would wake up alone in bed.

Flynn broke the kiss. "Don't play stupid with me, Yuri Lowell. I know you. We grew up together. I watched you for years. And this—" he ground his hips against mine and I bit my lip, sucked in a breath through my nose. It was just a kiss, and I was already getting hard. "—this is proof that I was right about you. So…come up to my room."

This was only going to make it more difficult for him later on when the time came for me to pay for my crimes, but I had been ignoring it, denying it for years and I was sick of holding back. I followed him up to his tiny room at the inn and, though we shared a bed the rest of the evening, neither of us was much interested in sleep.

Sunrise saw us spent and sated after one final round of rather too energetic lovemaking. I would have to ask Estelle to do something about the ache in my hips and back and hope she didn't ask questions.

Flynn took my hand in his and kissed the backs of my fingers. Apparently, he had a little romantic streak in him that I hadn't been aware of. "What are you thinking?" he asked me.

"Swear you won't let that lieutenant of yours find out about us."

"Sodia?"

"Yeah, her. My stomach hurts just thinking about how she'd react." I touched the spot where she'd stabbed me. I could still almost feel the blade sliding in under my ribs.

Flynn looked confused, but I wasn't about to explain. As long as Sodia didn't go blabbing, he'd never know she tried to kill me, and that suited me just fine. He needed a second-in-command that he trusted, and I knew Sodia would be loyal to him.

"You said 'us' just now, not 'this.'"

"Yeah. So?"

"So, that means this can happen again because there is an us."

"You think too much."

"Surprisingly enough, I've come to recognize that as one of your faults, as well."

"Ass."

"Idiot."

There was a quiet moment, then:

"I love you."