I got bored so I decided to write this though it took me a lot of time to write because… well… it brings back bad memories.

I'd like to dedicate this to Harri-Sal who reviewed on my last one shot of this series : Peaceful Days, Blog Entries and Surprise Visitors.

" Come on Lily... You'll be closer to me if you do this. If you do it, I'll see how stupid I was for leaving you and John. You're a freak to the world Lily, just like I was. I promise you little one, you won't feel a thing. That's why I left it in the bathroom... I want you to do this."

Her mind whispered quietly to her, exhausted from the nightmares and having to comfort her dad during the night. She could hear Sherlock's voice, soothing all of her worries like he used to do. All she did was stare down at the old wooden box that sat a couple of inches in front of her. Sitting crossed legged, she pulled out one of the small glass bottles. Holding it to the light, she could tell exactly what it was, without reading the faded label but if she was unsure, the pair of needles resting beside the other couple of bottles confirmed her suspicions about the mysterious liquid.

Taking a deep shaky breath, she rolled up the sleeve of her shirt then tied her school tie around the top of her forearm, so it rested in the crease of her elbow. While waiting for a vein to show itself to her, she slowly filled up one of the syringes before checking that there wasn't any air bubbles that could kill her.

" Good girl. You're nearly there now. Don't worry, you'll be okay. All you have to do is place it in then push the plunger down. After, you'll be free for a while, I promise little one. It won't hurt one tiny bit. I won't let it hurt you. Now come on, you're wasting time petal."

She needed to do it. She couldn't handle everything. The whole world was calling her daddy a liar, her dad was suffering from nightmares and her family wanted her to fill in his shoes... to prove to the entire world that he wasn't lying and that Moriarty wasn't made up. It was all on her shoulders and for a 16 year old, that was far too much pressure. She just wanted to be normal... just for a while.

With this in mind, Lily closed her eyes then slowly slid the needle through her pale skin then into her pulsating vein before allowing the drug to flow from the syringe and into her blood stream.

At first, she didn't feel anything change but then suddenly, her stomach violently filled and she knew she was going to throw up. Without a single thought to her uncles or dad, sitting in the living room below, she ran into the bathroom before emptying the entire contents of her stomach. She couldn't care less if they heard her because the moment the awful sick feeling passed, an amazingly warm feeling swallowed her whole being and mind. It felt as though she as floating on her own happiness, swimming in it. In that place, she was with her daddy and she was so incredibly happy there. Despite the fact that she knew the risks of taking hard core drugs, the damage it could do or the fact that she could be plunged into a nightmarish trip, she couldn't care less.

Beside the bathroom, John, Mycroft and Greg Holmes were speaking softly to each other, trying to arrange all of the funeral details but it was difficult. None of them truly understood the man they were planning to bury but each of them knew someone who did. Greg, deciding that it was better if he went, told the others where he was going and went to fetch his adopted niece though what he saw shocked him.

There she stood, pupils dilated, a thin sheet of sweat covering her trembling body but it was all outshone by the large grin that threatened to split her face. Cautiously, as not to startle her, he slowly approached her. It didn't take a genius to spot the signs he had seen in her father's early years. The moment he got close enough, the point of injection became clear, marked with a small spot of blood in the crease of her elbow.

"Lily, what did you do?" he asked softly, shaking his head sadly at the act of unusual behaviour. She was one of the smartest teenagers he had ever met and there she was, high as a kite. Shaking, she walked towards him, throwing her arms around his neck in a hug. Holding her gently, he could feel the heat of her skin.

"It was daddy Uncle Greg! He said that he left it for me. I'm happy! So, so happy!" she babbled, giggling at the end. She wanted to feel that way all the time but her uncle didn't seem as happy as she was. Instead, he lead her into the living room by the hand, allowing her dad and other uncle to see what she had been reduced to. Lillian Holmes, daughter of Sherlock, had been reduced to taking stimulants.

Of course, if Greg was able to spot the signs, the others were more than capable and it took no time at all for them to start yelling at the young girl, their anger getting the better of them.

"Lillian! What did you do, you stupid girl!" Mycroft yelled, staring at her with wide eyes. It was like Sherlock all over again. The carefree smile on her face, the lack of tension in her shoulders as she wasn't in a constant state of awareness… it was a repeat. As they say, history as an awful act for repeating itself but he couldn't… he wouldn't allow that to happen again. He would not allow her to go down the same path as her father.

Walking toward her, he took hold of her by the shoulder then began to shake her but John shoved him away, choosing to glare into his daughter's eyes instead though he had a feeling that she couldn't make much sense of anything.

"Lily, what did you do?"

"Daddy left it for me in the bathroom! He said that it wouldn't hurt me and he was right, just like always! He said that he was stupid for leaving us dad! He wanted me to do it… he asked me to do it. I'm normal now, just like you and Uncle Greg! I can't read people and it's good!" she screamed happily, spinning around in a circle a few feet in front of them. Greg, deciding it was a good time to show the others just how bad her situation had gotten, asked her a question.

"Why's it good Lily?"

"I don't have people asking me to do it… I'm not b-b-bombarded by useless facts anymore. I-I'm just like everyone else."

"Can you see it all now? This is what she's had to do so she can handle the pressure you're forcing onto her, trying to prove that Sherlock wasn't a fraud! She's 16 for God's sake! Lay off of her!" he yelled while Lily simply stared at him, her eyes still cloudy from drug use.

"I-I can't believe you did… Lillian, what were you thinking? Doing such a stupid thing!" Mycroft shouted, still trying to make sense of everything.

"I wanted to feel alive again Uncle Mycroft… I do! I'm so happy here, let me stay… please." She sobbed, breaking down so suddenly that only Greg had a chance of catching her as she fell to the floor. She clutched his shirt tightly in her hands, trembling against him.

"You can't Lily…" John tried, moving to rest a hand on her shoulder but she shrugged away from him, burying herself deeper in the DI's embrace.

"I don't wanna go! I wanna stay here dad… p-p-please, don't make me!"

"I want my daughter back!" He yelled, throwing his hands up in the air as everything got too much for him to handle. He couldn't deal with it anymore. He needed his husband. He needed Sherlock.

"Why! She was a freak!"

"I love her…"

"Really?..." she asked, tilting her head to the side like some curious animal. He nodded, opening his arms. A second later, she threw herself into his arms.

" Really."

If you liked this, please read:

All that's sure to come

Nurse Shirley, Doctor Watson and Patient Lily

Peaceful Days, Blog Entries and Surprise Visitors