A/N: I am a total Potterhead, and DESPISE Twilight. This is just to fulfill my spare time when I don't feel like working on Good Golly Miss Holly and Filling the Blanks.

Chapter 1: Meeting 1

Harry blinked open his eyes to see Hermione, Ginny, Neville, Ron, James, Lily, Sirius, Lupin, and Luna standing the middle of a meadow. "Where the hell are we?" snapped Ron. Hermione slapped him. "RONALD WEASLEY WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CUSSING?" Luna looked around. "Hm… This looks like the domain of the elusive Sparkly Blood-Drinking Forest Fairy." Everyone stared at her. "What the hell are you doing here?" asked a weird guy who looked like Cedric Diggory. He and a girl stepped out into the sunlight, their skin sparkling like a thousand diamonds in the light. Luna gasped. "The Sparkly Blood-Drinking Forest Fairy!" She whispered, for once right about a creature. "Um, no, we're vampires." said the girl looking confused. She randomly tripped and fell. The Cedric doppleganger helped her up. "Oh silly Bella. You do that all the time." He said lovingly. The Potterpals exchanged glances. "Okay…." said Harry, thoroughly confused. "Oops, I forgot my annoying manners! I am Edward Cullen and this is my wife Bella." "Dude, you're 17." pointed out Ginny. "Actually, he's 107 years." "PERV!" shrieked Ginny. "Please, come and meet our family." Edward said, stiil in that annoying velvety voice. "I'd rather not-" "Right this way, then!" Edward cut Neville off, walking unnaturally fast. The Potterpals exchanged glances and Apparated to wherever Cedric's doppleganger and his stupidly clumsy wife had gone. "Well, seeing as we are perfect, unnaturally beautiful, perfect, vegetarians, perfect, and are way betterer and perfecter than you, welcome to our home." This set off World War III.

"I KILLED LORD FREAKING VOLDEMORT!" yelled Harry.

"I KILLED VICTORIA!" shouted Edward.

"WHO THE BLOODY HELL IS VICTORIA?" yelled Ron.

"RONALD WEASLEY WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT CUSSING?" Hermione slapped Ron.

"I SPARKLE!" shouted Bella.

"ONLY GILDEROY LOCKHART IS A SPARKLING MAN!" shouted Ginny.

"I'M A FREAKING WEREWOLF!" yelled Jacob.

"I'M A WERWOLF!" shouted Lupin.

"NO, HE IS!" Jacob pointed at Sirius who had just morphed into Snuffles the giant black dog.

"WHAT THE HELL I'M AN ANIMAGUS!" shouted Sirius, morphing back into Sirius.

"MY CHILD IS A VAMPHUMAN!" shrieked Bella.

"MY SON KILLED YOU-KNOW-WHO AND ESCAPED WITH A FREAKING SCAR!" screamed Lily.

"I AM HILAROUSLY FUNNY!" yelled Emmet.

"WE'RE THE FREAKING MAURADERS!" shouted Lupin, James, and Sirius.

"I'm so enjoying this." Snape, who somehow was alive, was eating popcorn and summoned Bellatrix.

"WHO HELL IS THIS BELLA? I'M BELLA! NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE STEALS MY NAME!" Bellatrix shot a Killing curse at Bella Swan, and she exploded.

Snape ate more popcorn.

The Death Eaters appeared.

They asked the Potterpals and Mauraders to help them kill the Cullen clan.

The Potterpals and Mauraders gladly agreed.

Everyone in Twilight exploded.

And I, Sirius Black/Snuffles, now conclude this tale of epicaly awesome proportions.