I think I'm in trouble.
It seems that I've kinda fallen for Monica.
How the hell did this happen? We've been friends forever. I've known her since she was seventeen. She's my best friend's little sister for crying out loud.
Aw hell.
She's my best friend's little sister. I don't know if I'm even allowed to think about her that way. I probably shouldn't be thinking about how blue her eyes are, or how much I love to make her smile, or…picturing her naked.
Definitely not that last one. That's really the one that could get me in trouble, with Ross and with Monica.
I suppose, if I really want to be honest with myself, I've had a thing for her for a very long time. Probably not since I first met her, but definitely since the second time.
Yes; I'm that shallow. Or, at least I was that shallow. I was nineteen years old and all of sudden she was HOT. Fortunately, spending a lot of time in college not only with Ross, but also his family, helped me realize how amazing Monica is all around, and not just on the outside. Being her friend and neighbor for years after that has only helped.
It's probably not too unusual to have a crush on your best friend's little sister, right? Even if it is ridiculously clichéd?
If Ross ever finds out about this, he'll kill me. I'm almost completely positive that this whole situation is taboo. I'm pretty sure Monica never told him about me offering to be her boyfriend, which is probably why I never received an ass-chewing from him.
It's wrong—I know it's wrong—but every time one of her relationships end, I do a little happy dance. I know it's a horrible thing to do, especially since I just sit around and do absolutely nothing about my feelings for her. And it's not that I don't want to see her happy—I do. I want little more than for her to be happy. I just get the feeling that she could be happy with me.
Something has changed in the last year or so. I wish I could figure out what, so then maybe I could stop it. But there was something that made me offer to be her boyfriend. And something that made me keep asking her. Something other than how amazing she looks in a bikini.
Maybe it's because she's perfect. Maybe it's because just being near her makes me happy, or because I feel comfortable around her, or because, oddly, we're very affectionate with each other and, even more oddly, none of our friends seem to think anything about it. Maybe it's because I know everything about her, and she knows everything about me, and nothing has sent either of us screaming into the sunset. Maybe it's because we just fit.
All I know is that the first thing I want to do in the morning is run over to her apartment just to say hi (which, of course, I usually do). I get home from work as quickly as possible so I can go hang out with her. Hell, I've even cancelled plans a few times just so I could go have a cup of coffee or watch TV with her.
Yeah…I'm in trouble.