Chapter 1: the haze

Sitting at this table with Emil and his puffin has me in a haze. for once the sun is out and I feel as though I am about to slip away. all I can see is Emil fighting with his bird the bird flies out of Emil's arms and into the road. naturally Emil runs after but I feel nauseous as I see a semi-truck coming close to Emil. But almost as if I hadn't move I was there and I pushed Emil out of the way. it was all so quick I couldn't feel any pain but I knew from the amount of blood on the pavement that I wouldn't survive. But as I looked for a simply moment I saw Emil sitting on the side walk with a horrified look on his face. I could only mouth a few words "Emil don't worry." and smile a bit just for him but it never reached him I knew because he still sat there with that look. Everything went black I felt like if I was drifting away from the world and its problems.

Chapter 2: the hospital

I awoke in a bright white hospital the walls plain my eyes barely open I hear the voice of someone familiar. But who? I don't have enough energy to sit up or speak. I feel constricted by something all over my body I find layers upon layers of gauze and medicine. Ugh I've always hated hospitals and their medicines. I see Emil appear with a nurse. The nurse says with an easily fake smile "Here he is Lucas Bondevik patient 105." She turned away and started to walk away "take your time." Emil sat next to my bed staring down at me "you really are stupid you should've just let it hit me." I stared up at him and mustered some words "I couldn't let it happen" Emil looked at me "why? I'm nobody remember?" I gripped his hand tightly "your somebody to me, Emil your my little brother I may not act like it at times but…" I can't say it. It hurts too much "but what?" Emil said kind of irritated. I can't force out the words ,it's the same with Anko . I couldn't tell him either before I left.

…I think it'd be best for everyone if I died….

I think Emil can tell what I'm thinking because at that moment he held my hand to his face and said "what would we do I foyu died?" he became teary eyed "Tino, Berwald, Mathias ,and me we would all be sad." I felt his tears on my hand "Don't cry Emil I'm fine" I said sincerely. He snapped back "I'm not cryin!" he wiped the tears away. "sure Emil whatever you say. By the way where are the others?" Emil got up "they are out getting get well stuff for you."

Chapter 3: alone

He started to walk away. He was leaving, but I wanted him to stay I wanted to yell "no! stay! Come back! I need you..." but how could I, I'm alone I've always been alone that's how it will stay no one can fix it not Anko not Tino not Berwald not even Emil.

As this final thought crossed my mind a loud annoying voice came through it all "OI! OI! Lucas were here~!" it bellowed It gave me a head ache when I opened my eyes Anko was next to my bed holding my hand with that idiotic smile of his. "you're…so annoying Anko." I said calmly "ah don't be that way lucas." He said still holding my hand. I looked up to see Tino , Berwald , and Emil. When I could finally sit up without hurting myself I said sharply "stop holding my hand Anko I might catch your stupidity." I made Anko let go of my hand and sneered at him. "idiot." He simply replied with a wink "oh lucas~ you're so cold~" Tino gave me a box of chocolates with a ribbon on it "here lucas its for you to get well ok?" I nodded and thanked him silently. Yes silently, like a flower silently withering always silent.

Chapter 4: my lament

When everyone finally left it was dark out. I wasn't alone I know I must have worried Anko because he was still here sitting next to me asleep leaning on the hospital bed. I liked it when he was asleep because it was the only time when he was quiet. I can't help but let him sleep. I stare out the window at the moon and wonder when I'll be out of this place. I want to go home…

When I woke up Anko was gone. But that's fine I found a piece of paper when I pulled it open it said:

"I'll be back lucas I went to get us something nice to eat ok?"

"idiot." I said through my breath" he should know I can't really eat right now." So I waited for him…

…and waited. It felt like an eternity.

Chapter 5: home

Finally after a long while in the hospital I can go home. I'm kind of happy to know that they were worried about me by I don't show it.