The song Tweek performs is Three Sisters by Hungry Ghosts
A span of emptiness separates us, and though not completely airless, I feel suffocated. I think he knows I watch him too much and though the roles are now switched I can't help but feel like I am being accused. A flash makes me blink and suddenly i'm back where i'm supposed to be. The distance is no longer empty and my hands are shaking again, my blood rushing once more and the auditorium is filled with people and i'm on the stage and I don't know why.
But I look down at my hand, where i'm clutching my violin and a sense of serenity washes over my body like a waterfall when I see my only reassurance, right in my paws. This is all I need, I don't need to focus on Craig. I don't need to look at him, because then the blinding whiteness is back and it hurts my eyes, and if I don't look at the only color- Craig- I can't see. Why, oh why does he have to be sitting in the front row?
Stoic grey eyes and shiny raven hair follow me wherever I go. So I let my line of vision change from the crowd to the crisp white sheet music and bring my violin into 'ready' position, and I let the music flow. The melancholy melody feels nice and it surrounds me. I don't even need to open my eyes to enjoy this, so I shut them and continue to play, my fingers working for me.
Bleeding. I'm bleeding the art, and it feels astounding. The song just comes from the instrument and off of my fingers and i'm not thinking about death or Craig or the invisible people or the threats. This happens to me when the melody enters my ear drums. Going on living without the sense of sound would drive me into madness, although i'm sure i'm already mad as it is. And though my worry of someone in the audience shooting me is still lingering in the now-peaceful air, it's simply a buzzing fly, and no longer an elephant. Though I admit even the fly disappears when I look at Craig.
Oh no- i'm thinking of him again. And my heart is racing, and my eyes fly open to scan the sheet music as I continue to perform half-heartedly. Where am I? Measure one-oh-two? No, I passed that! I'm almost done aren't I? Wendy on the cello is slowing down, so that means I do too. Oh god, I can't mess up. I need to just- there! Fermada!
And... you made it.
It seems like it's done too quickly, though. And when I stand with Wendy on the left of me and Token on the right, the piano accordion behind him now, and take a bow, the audience is cheering too loud, on their feet, and the noise makes me jump the slightest. If they do not lower their voices, I could easily lose my hearing! I need music to survive.
Out, now. I want to leave instantly. The moment of peace is gone and seeing Craig sit while everyone else is standing, clapping slowly with a tiny hint of a smile that makes chills run up my spine and make my shoulders feel numb is disarming, and I need to exit this suffocation before the white that's pushing at the edge of my vision and focusing on the tallest boy in the school takes over completely.
Late is such a heart-stopping word. It's too late, and i'm frozen again, my mouth shut in a tight line as his eyes catch mine, and then, he's done something i've never seen him do before. Those sharp cheekbones and thick eyebrows that are furrowed seem to relax, and he smiles. Crest toothpaste smile blinds me even more than the whiteness.
My heart feels like it's on fire though, and I can't help but smile back. I'm sure I look like i'm snarling because smiles are rare for me, but I can't help it and wow-za, do I feel good.
But all too soon Wendy is telling me to leave the stage as the concert ends and her manicured hand is pulling my arm- the one with the sleeve of tattoos on it- in the direction of the back stage room. I'm floating.
Uh, I was free-styling and I wrote this in the same amount of time as the song I was listening to lasted. So about seven minutes. I just needed to get this out of my system. I love Creek. I do want to write another chapter fic, but i'm not sure yet. Thank you for reading, and please review! I'm not too fond about how this turned out though, to be honest.