Trigger warning: child abuse/abusive parent and bullying
They were the perfect little family. A protective, caring dad; loving, beautiful mum and their perfect little daughter. Their daughter was perfect in every aspect. She was not only the cutest little kid with her chubby cheeks, curly blonde hair and really big ocean blue eyes but she was also nice, well behaved and smart even at her early age. Felicity's mum, Donna stayed at home and took care of her, and dad Alexander worked from 6 am to 7 pm. Felicity was only 3 and a half when her dad left her and her mum and never came back. She waited for him to come home but as days went by she realized he never will. Her mum left her too, not physically, but psychologically she left and also never came back. She locked herself in her room and for 2 weeks she wouldn't come open the doors to let Felicity know that she was okay or to make her lunch or to just hug her and tell her things will be alright. She opened the doors when she heard a glass breaking and Felicity's scream. She quickly ran to her child and saw her blooded hands and a shuddered plate.
"Mum, I'm sorry. I just wanted to eat and it fell, I'm so sorry mammy." Her tiny child cried.
It took her one look to realize that this wasn't the first time in those 2 weeks that her kid, a kid she once never let out of her sight, had been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy, a contrast to her usually pale face and her shirt was tear stained and wet.
"Felly, it's okay. Mammy's gonna take care of your hands and plate and it will be okay. Okay, sweetie?" Donna wiped the tears on Felicity's face with her thumb.
Felicity's little face lit up and she nodded.
After that broken plate, Donna decided it was time for her to find a job, and she did. She started working in some cheap club as a cocktail waitress because that was the only job she could find. She worked all day to pay rant and clothes and everything else she and her daughter needed until it was all too much. She was sleep depraved because after her late nights when she would come back home, her daughter still had energy to jump around her, to plant kisses all over her and to climb onto her back. And that was the first time she regretted having a kid, especially a kid who never seemed to slow down, never seemed to lose energy. Of all the kids in the world why did hers have to be so hyperactive, she thought.
And then one night, she had finally had enough.
After one rough night, full of customers, and few shots of tequila she had during her break, she came home and she just wanted to go to bed and fall asleep. But her kid had other plans.
"Mammy," Felicity ran over to her mum as soon as she opened the doors and hugged her leg. "How are you? What do you wanna do? Do you want to play? I wanna play?" Her innocent big blue eyes found their way to her mother's.
"Felly, mammy isn't feeling really good. Go play in your room and leave mammy alone." Donna pinched the bridge of her nose agitated.
"What's wrong mammy? Why are you not feeling good? Do you wanna watch a movie? We can watch a movie. I like movies."
"Please, just leave me alone." She shouted. Why can't her daughter just shut up and go play in her room.
"Mammy, why are you yelling? Please don't yell at me. I'm sorry." Felicity cried but still had a firm grip on her mother's leg.
At any other moment her mum would tell her she's sorry, she didn't mean to yell, but this was not any other moment. She was drunk and just needed to rest.
"Oh shut up! Just shut the hell up!" Donna yelled so loudly that Felicity flinched at her words and released her leg looking so scared like she saw some monster and not her mum. She opened her mouth to say something but all that came out of it were sobs. She started crying and screaming and sobbing, unable to do anything else.
Donna looked at her daughter, her not even 4 year old kid, and felt no remorse for her what so ever. She grabbed her ponytail and dragged her to her room. She practically threw her on the floor and looked at her disappointed.
"I told you to shut up, and if you ever disobey me again you will be punished. Now stop crying and go to bed! If I hear you, I swear I will duct tape your mouth. Do you understand?"
Felicity heard her mum's words but she couldn't stop crying. What happened to her mum? What happened to that perfect little family she saw on the pictures by her bed? What?
"Do you not understand me?!" Donna walked to her daughter and slapped her hard across her tiny little face. Felicity's hand went to her now red cheek and she stopped crying. She looked at her mum, her mammy, with so much pain in her eyes but her mum, she didn't even look sorry.
"Finally. I hope now you will take me seriously." Donna left the door and locked it. Now her daughter won't bother her in the morning.
Felicity stayed on the floor, too afraid to move. But who could blame her. What is a 4 year old supposed to do when the only person she trusts inflicts her so much pain.
The next morning came and Felicity woke up on her floor. She went up to the doors and found them locked. She started crying again and stopped only when she heard her mum come home hours later. She unlocked the doors of Felicity's room and let her outside of her room. Felicity took a moment to look at her mum. She had some kind of a bottle in her hands, constantly taking sips of it, and she was swaying a little. She looked even more tired than before. She didn't even look at her, she collapsed on the couch still firmly holding the bottle. Felicity, not wanting to cause any trouble, went to the kitchen, made herself a sandwich and went to bed.
After almost a year, Felicity's mum fell completely of the wagon. In that year Felicity saw her mother come home with strange men and every time she said something to her mum when she was with those guys, sometimes as little as "hey mum" she would be sent to her room where her mum would slap her or sometimes even beat her, saying: "You will not leave your room when I come home, I have customers and you will not ruin my paycheck. Now stay in your room and be quiet until I say you can leave." Felicity always knew when her mum left since she could always heard strange noises from her bedroom. And on the nights she came home alone, she would always have the same bottle in her hands and usually pills which she would take a handful before going to bed.
When Felicity was only five years old her mum almost killed her with her neglect. Donna came home with yet another man, this one was really rich and she knew she would score big time and she would be able to buy herself booze and more pills. So she took him home and before they ended up in her bedroom, Felicity came out of her room looking for food.
"Mum, I'm really hungry."
"What the hell? Is this yours? Well you must be out of your mind if you think I will shag a hooker in a room right next to her kid." A man yelled at Donna, looking like he would break her neck in a second without hesitation. "I'm out of here!" He left Felicity and her mum alone and he walked out of their house.
"YOU!" Donna grabbed the collar of Felicity's shirt and shook her violently. "Do you have any idea how much money I would get if it wasn't for you?! Do you know how much booze I would be able to buy if you just stayed in your room?! You ruined this! You ruined everything! He left because of you! I wish I just had an abortion!" Her mum yelled at her still shaking her.
"I'm sorry." Felicity cried out. But she regretted those words as soon as she felt her mum dragging her to her bedroom.
"YOU'RE SORRY? WELL YOU SHOULD BE SORRY!" She bellowed.
And before Felicity could say anything else, she was being thrown to the floor and her mum left the room locking her in.
Two days passed and her mum still didn't unlock the door. The only good thing was that Felicity had her own bathroom inside her room so she was able to drink water and go on the toilet but she was still hungry, sad and she just wanted her dad back. She just wanted that perfect little family from her pictures back. Five days passed and her mum still didn't do anything. Felicity could now feel the energy leaving her every day she didn't eat all because her mum locked her in her room.
Donna spent those five days in the club working and after work staying in the club drinking. It took her a week to realize she had a daughter that was still locked in a room without food. She took of home and for the first time since she started drinking she felt fear, fear of finding her only child dead on the floor of her own room. She hurried home and as soon as she went inside she found herself unlocking the door of Felicity's room. She opened the door and saw her. Her happiness, her ray of sunshine was now passed out on the floor, exhaustion and starvation painted all over her cold, pale body that was now so skinny that she could saw a clear outline of her bones. She was five, she was just a kid and she already knew how cruel life was, she already knew things about the world and people that some teenagers still didn't know. Donna rushed over to Felicity and put her finger in her pulse, she sighed in relief when she felt her little heart pumping blood.
When Felicity woke up, Donna spent a full day taking care of her, feeding her, saying how sorry she felt, but that didn't last long. As soon as Felicity got better, Donna forgot all of the feelings she felt when she found her lying on the floor looking lifeless. She would still lock her up in her room, slap her and beat her every time Felicity did something she shouldn't have, like nothing happened.
When Felicity was old enough to go to school was the first time she really felt happy. She spent her day in school, then she would come home, do her homework and study and then she would go to bed. She barely saw her mum and that was a good thing. She only saw her on weekends which she spent in her room studying. Books and school became a place where she felt secure, a place where she came when she wanted to escape her mum, and a place where she felt loved and even though she didn't have friends in school, she still felt better there than at home. Even the hospital was better than home. Although she was in hospital once, that one time she stayed there for few weeks after she got hit by a car which she saw blurry because her eye sight became worse and after the hospital she spent another few weeks begging her mum to buy her glasses, which didn't happen and her good old lady neighbor ended up buying her glasses for her birthday.
Felicity finished middle school early and went to high school when she was only 11 years old because she skipped four years due to her high IQ and the fact that all of her exam scores were perfect. So she found herself in high school where she was not only the smartest but also the youngest kid there.
First two years went by without many difficulties. She got picked on and teased and called nerd and geek and no lifer on daily basis but she was able to handle that. But her third year was much more complicated. Not only did her mother end up in hospital few times over the year because she overdosed but she also became more aggressive, if that was even possible. And even that was not the only thing wrong in her life. The jocks in her school also became more violent and physical. They would shove her into the lockers, kick her, and steal the money she would bring when her mum was too drunk to beat her for asking for money. She thought that shoving her to the lockers and then pushing her on the floor was the worst thing that could happen to her in school but turns out she was very wrong.
It was her third period in school that day and she was slightly relieved by the fact that the jocks haven't touched her the whole day. But her relief was short lived as she felt hands on her shoulders shoving her to the lockers.
"Hey, nerd. I got a D from your yesterday's homework. Mind explaining that?" Brad, the biggest jock of all the jocks yelled pinning Felicity to the lockers.
Felicity smiled and felt proud of herself, she gave him a bogus homework on purpose.
"Why are you smiling? You did that on purpose!" He shook her so hard that she hit her head on the lockers so hard she felt blood running down the back of her hair. Before Brad could say anything else, more jocks circled around her all looking pissed off. She immediately regretted her decision of giving every jock a fake homework.
"Because of you, my dad is pissed off."
"You ruined my grade with that fake homework."
"I'm going to beat the crap out of you for that!" Joey, the captain on their lacrosse team screamed at her as he slapped the books out of her hands.
"You will pay, you little nerd. You will see what happens when you mess with us." And with that she felt rough hands dragging her somewhere.
Felicity tried to fight back, she tried to get away from them but with no luck. They were too strong, or she was just too weak, either way she was helpless in this situation. Although as soon as she saw where she was being dragged to, the men's room, she felt stronger and she finally found it in her to fight back. She kicked the guy holding her in his shin and she threw her fist which collided with the other jock's face. She felt pride wash over her as she saw blood coming from the jock's nose. But in that moment of pride she failed to see Joey who backhanded her so hard across the face that she fell on the floor. "Wow he is really strong." Felicity mentally noted as she tried to stand up again, but turns out she didn't need to stand up. One jock already grabbed her ponytail and continued dragging her despite her protest and cries.
She felt like they were dragging her for hours, her scalp going numb from their painful grip of her ponytail, and then they stopped and released her. Her face lost all of its colour the second she opened her eyes. She was on her knees in front of a toilet and she just hoped she was wrong about what was about to happen. But she wasn't. She was smart and she knew what they are going to do to her.
"Me first." Brad said as he pushed Felicity's head under water in the toilet.
As soon as Felicity's face went under water she started flailing and kicking and hitting anything she could. She felt a grip on her ponytail and she was yanked out of water for only a second before going under again and then again. They kept doing that, giving her a second to get air in her lungs, then pushing her back into water holding her there until she no longer had any oxygen in her, for what felt like forever. And she could feel her lungs burning, her head throbbing, her whole body screaming for air, but they kept going. In that moment she just wanted to die. This was all too much for her and she could no longer fight. She could no longer keep going on. She gave up.
"HEY!" A young man with dirty blonde hair cut short and the stormy blue eyes, yelled while pushing the kids who were gathered around the jocks out of the way. He didn't care who the kids were, or if he pushed them too roughly, he just cared about a girl being tortured by his classmates. "Go get lost!"
When he finally reached the jocks who were laughing at the young blonde, he went wild. He grabbed the first guy by his jersey and pushed his out of the way and on the floor, he punched the second one square in the face and kicked the third out of the way. All the other jocks looked at him and ran away. He yelled to them that if they ever go after her or anyone else that he will personally break every bone in their body, then he turned to the petite blonde whose head was still under water because the jocks didn't even have the decency to help her up.
"Hey." He said in a softer tone, when he reached the girl. "Are you okay?"
Getting no response he felt panic wash over him. He gently grabbed the blonde by her shoulders and pulled her away from the toilet. He felt the pulse beneath his fingertips but she wasn't breathing. He hit her on the back, as gently as he could, until she started coughing up water.
"Hey, shhh, it's okay. You're okay." He pulled her into his arms and when he felt her shiver he removed his jacket and put it on her shoulders.
"Let's get you home, okay?"
"No, please, I don't- I can't go home. She's going to be mad." Felicity cried out, still uncertain if she was hallucinating or not because one moment she was being pushed underwater in a toilet wishing she just died already, and now she was in someone's strong hands. She turned around and looked at the guy who was holding her, a guy who gave her his jacket, a guy in whose arms she felt safe. And he was hot. "Wow, you're hot. And cozy." She blurted out and when her brain caught up with her mouth she clapped a hand over her mouth. "Not cozy, cozy, like you're fat but like cozy like you are much better hugger than that toilet. Not that I'm comparing you to a toilet, you are obviously much hotter than toilet and you know what I'm just going to stop talking right now. 3, 2, 1 stopping." She blushed and looked away.
Oliver just smiled at her and chuckled lightly. This girl is so adorable, he thought.
"Sorry, bad introduction. I sometimes talk too much. Sorry, I'm so so sorry." This time she didn't look embarrassed, she looked sad and genuinely sorry. This made Oliver frown.
"Hey, you have nothing to apologize." He smiled at her in a reassuring way.
"Thank you." She smiled back. "Not just for this, but also for saving me from those jocks and for warming me."
"Yeah, no problem." He reached for her hair and tucked the lose strains behind her ear. "As much as I would like stay like this here, we are in men's room and you are soaking wet and hurt. So let me take you home."
"And thank you for saving me and for wanting to take me home, but I can't go home." Felicity got up and reached for the doors but before she could open them she felt his hand on her arm, holding her firmly but gently at the same time.
"What's wrong? Why can't you go home? Hey, talk to me, please."
"Please don't, I can't. I just can't."
"Okay, you know what I can take you to my house. You can stay there and a doctor can take a look at your head. You can even sleep over in guest room."
"I can't take that offer. You already did so much for me, and I can't really tell you how much I'm grateful for that but I can't use you like that. Not use use like sexual use cause I know you don't mean that, but like use like use in a material way like I would eat your dinner and drink your water and use your toilet. I'm sorry."
"First don't be, I like it when you babble." He chuckled. "Second it's just dinner, just water, just toilet and it's the least I can do for you. You didn't deserve what they did to you."
"I don't know you." This sentence escaped her mouth. "I'm really grateful for what you did, and please don't think I'm not because I am but we just met and we don't know each other. Not that I think you're a serial killer or something like that but I don't know."
"Oliver Queen." He extended his hand to her. Felicity shook his hand until realization hit her like a ton of bricks.
"Oh my, oh!" She blushed. "You're the son of Mister Queen, of Queen Consolidated."
"Oh wow, such a lovely name 'oh my, oh, you're the son of mister queen of queen consolidated'. Also nice to meet you. Although I'm hoping you have a nickname." He smirked.
Felicity started laughing and couldn't stop for almost two full minutes before saying, "very funny" sarcastically.
"Oh sorry. Felicity Smoak." She blushed realizing she still hadn't introduced herself.
"Okay, Felicity, now will you please tell why don't you want to go over my house so I can take care of you?"
"It's complicated."
"I'm not stupid."
"We are still in men's room."
"Oh, right sorry." He pushed the doors open and led her to the parking lot.
"I can't come with you and I can't go home yet."
"Talk to me, Felicity. Tell me what's wrong so I can help you. That's what friends are for right? I can't help you if you won't let me help you. You have obviously been through a lot and things at home are rough for some reason, but you can't push everybody away from yourself. You have to let people in in order to heal. You need to accept people's help if you want to feel better."
Felicity couldn't keep her tears at bay anymore, she just couldn't. He was right. Oliver was right, she had to let someone in. But the only person she ever trusted was the same person who almost killed her all those years ago, and the same person who still beat her when she felt like it. As much as she wanted to let someone in, she was afraid that person is going to betray her, leave her used and broken. She was only 13 and she was betrayed more times than she remembered.
Seeing the struggle in her beautiful blue eyes Oliver spoke again.
"Look, how about I take you home and you stay there for a night, and that whole night we can spend talking, just talking about anything that you want, and then next day you can decide whether you want to be my friend and let me or not. How does that sound to you?"
"Okay. You know what I'm fine with that but one condition."
"Anything?"
"You have to promise I'm not bothering anyone by staying there."
"Felicity, my parents wouldn't hear you if you screamed at night from your room and my little sister loves company. But yeah, I promise you're not bothering anyone by staying there."
"Okay, I'll stay."
And she did stay. They ended up talking about everything. She told him about his family, about how her dad left and how her mum neglected her and beat her and how she would spend her days imagining what it would be like if her dad never left. And he told her about his family, about how his parents are pressuring him to lead the company but all he wants to do is own a club. And he told her how everyone always thinks he doesn't care about anything or anyone because he's rich so they just don't try to get to know him and that drove him mad so he gave up and stopped caring. Then they turned to lighter themes like their hopes and dreams. They kept talking till the sun came out. And they already felt like they were best friends, like they knew each other since forever.
And that's the story Felicity and Oliver told everyone years later when they vowed to love each other until death does them part. Felicity told them about a scared little girl with trust issues who finally met someone she could trust. And Oliver told a story of an angry little boy that couldn't care less about anyone who found someone he cared about deeply.
Okay so I have no idea. Honestly I just what? Well this certainly turned out angstier than I thought idk what happened. I had a dream about Felicity and Oliver (pretty sure that pillow case I have with Olicity has something to do with those frequent Olicity dreams) but in mindst of all the dreams I had one similair to this except it wasn't this angsty, this I just began writing and boom it turned into this. Also thank you for reading and tell me what do you think ;)
Love you all
Hana *kisses you all*