Alfred sat with trepidation as he listened to the semester's final speeches regarding various historical subjects. He looked down at his paper, struggling to memorize what he had written as he worried about his grades in his major class. As a world history major, Alfred's grades were well on their way down the toilet—oh yes, they were that bad, but it was only due to the fact that he spent most of his time in his freshman year partying or pulling pranks that often got him in trouble.

He loved pulling pranks so much, his favorite being the time when he made caramel-covered onions and gave them to his professor, Mr. Williams. It was right after class one day when he took them out of his bag and placed them on a paper plate he had taken from the cafeteria. He let out a giggle before going up to the professor, but it was still difficult to keep a straight face when giving him the disgusting treat.

"Can I help you, Mr. Jones?" he asked, clasping his hand together primly as he looked down at the plate of "candy apples". They had chocolate shavings on them to make them look even more appetizing, and Alfred smiled at him, the laughter still buried inside of him.

"Professor Williams, I am just giving you these to show you that I really appreciate that extra credit," Alfred had said. "So, I made these candy apples for you."

"That's so nice of you!" the professor said, taking the plate and bringing them to his desk in the front of the room. "You are very welcome!"

The thought of this memory calmed Alfred's nerves when his turn finally came. He was so nervous, but he tried to look confident as he walked up to the stage behind the podium. He adjusted the microphones and looked at Professor Williams and Dean Gregory, and he began speaking.

"So, uh…I did research on how the British didn't want to get out of our colonies. I'm talking, of course, about the American Revolution," he began. The professor looked at him, as did the dean, with disapproval of his nonchalant attitude as he continued speaking.

"So, as you all probably know, British people settled in Virginia in the early 1600's, but then in Massachusetts. After about a hundred years or so, the French paired up with Indians to fight with the colonists over land in the OhioValley because they wanted to control fur-trapping. The British, of course, kicked their butts and claimed it for themselves. Then, in the 1770's, the colonists said, 'that's enough! We want independence,' so they fought with the British and finally got back at their sorry selves. Then, this guy named George Washington comes along and plays the role of general in an army that was entirely made up of colonists, but still, they had enough determination to outlast the British and defeat them," Alfred explained, rapidly and nervously. "Then, the Constitution was made, saying that all men are created equally and that we could do whatever we want. Like me, for example, I am free to fulfill my dream of becoming an archaeologist! YEE-HAW!"

The audience of classmates fell silent upon his emphasis on his last words. Eyebrows raised, people whispered things about his casually-done speech about an American history topic, and as for the professor and dean, they both began conversing about an entirely different topic.

"An archaeologist, huh?" the dean wondered, looking at the young man on stage, who stood there wordlessly.

"Yeah, I don't know how he'll achieve such a goal," the professor whispered back to him. "He's a clown. Did I mention he was the one who caused my hospital visit for an allergic reaction?"

"Was that the prank he played with the caramel onions?" Dean Gregory asked.

"Um, yes. It wasn't pleasant, because I'm allergic to onions," Professor Williams said. "Just for that, I docked his GPA down by one grade."

"Are you sure? He probably had no idea you were allergic, professor," the dean suggested. "It was probably only a harmless prank."

"Not only did it taste horrible, but it made me very sick. Do you know what it's like to lay in a hospital bed with your face swollen like a watermelon?" Professor Williams said emphatically.

"No," he answered. "I still think he'd be a good candidate for our archaeology program this summer. It seems like a good way to reach his goal."

"Humph," the professor responded, standing up to address Alfred onstage. "Is that all, Mr. Jones?"

"Yes, it is, sir," Alfred answered, smiling brightly at him.

"Alright, take your seat," he said, sitting down to jot down some final notes in his memo pad. The dean looked at him as he wrote, but the professor looked back at him slowly.

"Yes, Dean Gregory?" he asked, his attention finally caught.

"We should definitely speak to that young man after class about the program," he suggested.

"No! Are you crazy?" he whispered forcefully, placing his pen in the spiral gently.

"Professor," the dean began. "He's a good candidate, and we already have candidates from England, France, Russia, and even another student at this very college has made it in. It's a very good group, and this year they are headed to Asia."

"Yeah, that sounds good," the professor said. "But I still don't know. His grades are close to the edge of the frying pan, and they'll be in the fire in no time!"

"Look at it this way, Professor Williams," Dean Gregory whispered calmly. "He'll be out of your hair for quite a while, and who knows? Maybe this will make him a more serious person?"

The professor stroked his brown, bearded chin as he thought about it. Ah, a summer without that clown, he thought with delight as he pictured Alfred boarding a plane with a bunch of other young men to Asia. Then again, all students would be away for the summer—what good would it be to him?

"Summer is when all students go home, dean," the professor said. "Is there any way you could send them earlier?"

"No, I'm afraid not," the dean said. "The plane leaves on June 25th with or without him."

The tall, well-built Dean Gregory stood up and walked out of the auditorium as Professor Williams thought about his proposal. Hmm, it wouldn't be so bad, he thought, maybe the kid could do something good with his life rather than slacking off or pulling dangerous pranks. Ah, it would be heaven.