To Alain it felt like he only really had two ways of dealing with things; he was either running or biting his tongue, keeping quiet and biding his time until he could run. He never stood up for anything, at least not when it mattered.
He had run from Decimus, fled without even trying to stop him, withing trying to tell them all what they were doing was wrong.
He had stood up against Grace in the end, but it was too late to stop her, too late to prevent Hawke, the only person that had tried to help them, from being dragged into this mess, and far too late to do any real good. All he had been able to do was undo some of the bad.
He had kept quiet in the circle, letting the templars do as they pleased. Every time he saw them his stomach twisted with fear, bile rising up to choke him. There was nothing he could do while nightmares made it nearly impossible to sleep, the Tranquil brand always burning before him when he closed his eyes. He always felt sick with a chill that wouldn't leave his bones no matter how hot it was outside.
He had been associated with blood magic since he arrived in Kirkwall, but he hadn't actually used it until Hawk's sibling. He didn't want to, didn't want to become what everyone feared he already was. The thought of anyone being afraid of him would have been laughable if it hadn't been so horrifying. But he hadn't stopped Grace. Once again he had done nothing; just followed the crowd until it was his time to run. He wouldn't run this time though. He saved Hawke's sibling and allowed himself to be handed over to the Templars.
When Hawke told them to go easy on him, Alain smiled a little, but even he knew it was a cold empty smile. It wouldn't matter in the end. Now that they had seen him performing blood magic there was nothing holding them back. What would they do to him, he wondered.
But they hadn't made him Tranquil.
And as Orsino slashed his wrists and the corpses of mages who had been his friends and templars who had tormented him alike were pulled into that horrific beast, he had run again. He thought he was going to stand and fight for once, at Hawke's side. Hawke, the only person who had stood up for him, who had tried to protect him despite his apathy and inaction, and he was abandoning her to fight that thing alone.
He wanted to do better, to be better, so he stopped. Perhaps there was still time. Hawke had bought them more time than they could have hoped for already, perhaps he could still do some good. Calling to the other mages, he guided them all to places where they could hide. He wasn't any good at fighting, at protecting, but if he could get them all out alive by running and hiding he would.