A/N: This takes place one year into college during summer. Each chapter is a different Taylor Swift song. I hope you enjoy! watch?v=BmWEvZ_Ve8o
Chapter One: Breathe
It's two A.M.
Feelin' like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me.
It's two A.M.
Feelin' like I just lost a friend.
Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me.
And we know it's never simple, never easy.
Never a clean break, no one here to save me.
The first time they mourned their relationship together, Lydia was crying in her car. She'd gone to the store for her mom and had seen him in aisle four. She'd felt like she'd been hit in the stomach and had to get out of there. It couldn't wait. She couldn't breathe. She paid for her things as fast as she could and started for the door.
"Lydia!" She'd heard his voice and actually turned for a second. It was a second she wished she could take back. The moment she saw his face, strained and hurting, she wanted to go to him. She wanted to make the hurt stop but she couldn't. She was the worst person to do that. He was the one who caused this anyway. Even if he was right, even if it was best with them going to different colleges, she didn't want to face him.
So she'd gone to her car and broken down. Someone rapped their knuckles against the window and when she'd looked up, Stiles was looking at her. It was so much like another night back in school that she'd wanted to scream in frustration.
"Lydia will you let me in?" he'd asked gently.
"Just go away." She'd hated that her voice shook so badly, that it was so evident what a wreck she was.
"Lyds, please. Please. I can't… I can't leave you hurt. I just… I can't. I love you
Lyds…"
Then she had finally unlocked the door after taking a deep breath. Stiles had moved into the passenger seat and reached for her. Lydia had immediately buried her face into his chest and started sobbing on him,
"I know," he'd whispered, stroking her hair. "I'm so sorry… I'm so sorry…" They sat like that for a long time. Lydia crying on him, Stiles trying not to cry himself, Lydia wondering why they had to go through this, Stiles cursing that he thought they did.
The second time, Lydia woke to her phone ringing in the middle of the night. She answered it and heard nothing but quiet crying. "I know," she'd said quietly. "I know. It's okay, Stiles. I'm here. I miss you too…."
The third time, Lydia came to his house. They'd sat on his bed and cried together.
The fourth time started out as a fight. Stiles, Scott, Kira, and Lydia were out to lunch, enjoying one of the last few times they'd be able to do this before college.
"So, I have news," Stiles had said, picking at his fries. "I changed my mind and I'm going to the University of Maryland. They have the best criminal justice program and I have an aunt up there anyway so…" Silence had hit the table like a wave. Scott and Kira both responded positively, pasting fake excited grins on their faces to hide the fact that they were going to miss him like hell and it seemed worse now that he was going out of state. Lydia, however, had just stared at him.
When they all started parting to go home, Stiles had stopped Lydia from getting in her car. "Hang on. You didn't say anything."
"I don't have anything to say."
"I don't believe you."
"I'm tired and I want to go home."
"Lyds-"
"Stiles let me go home."
And Stiles had stepped aside. But that night Lydia had turned up at his house again and gone straight up to his room. "You're going to Maryland. You're leaving, Stiles."
"I thought you didn't have anything to say." He had watched her with sad, brown eyes, knowing she was hurting.
"I lied! I have a lot to say!"
"Lyds, we're all leaving…"
"But not out of California! You're going to be gone! We can come home for the weekends and you won't be here! Why? Why the sudden change of plans?"
Stiles had raked his fingers through his hair. "Because I need the space. Lydia, if we're going to do this, if we're going to be apart, I have to really be apart."
"But I don't even understand why we have to be apart!"
"Lyds, we already talked about-"
"I don't care! I don't care what we talked about Stiles! This is stupid and not fair and I don't want you to go and I don't want to be broken up!"
"Lydia…. You…. You are amazing and you… You deserve the chance to be on your own for a change. Long distance is hard so why not just take this chance?"
"I don't want it. I want you."
Stiles had seen the tears in her eyes and the effort it was taking her not to shed them and crossed the room to her in just a few steps. His arms had found their way around her and she'd melted into him. They'd stood there crying together for a while. Somehow, in a breakup that hurt them both the only people that really gave comfort was each other.
Now, Stiles sat on the plane, holding a picture of him and the beautiful girl with strawberry blonde hair in his hand. As his amber eyes wandered the picture, he felt his mouth start to part as if there was something he wanted to say. Maybe there was. Maybe he wanted to stand and tell the entire plane that the school year he had spent away from her had been hell. That he was going home, back to her, and he was filled with anxiety, regret, and excitement he knew he shouldn't feel. But he always would. It was Lydia.
"Oh, my." The elderly man beside him leaned over and plucked it out of his fingers. "She is beautiful. Is she your wife?" The man smiled and gave him a playful wink.
Stiles felt a smile spread across his face, even at the pain of the w word. "My ex-girlfriend, actually. We dated through senior year of high school but… I broke it off for college." He swallowed, feeling the pain of it again, the real reason why he'd ended it right beneath the surface, wanting to come out but, just like always, staying buried.
"Now why would you do that?" The man asked.
Before Stiles could answer, the woman beside him scowled. "Edgar, that is none of your business."
Stiles smiled again. "It's fine. I'm Stiles." He held out his hand.
"Stiles?" Edgar made a face as he shook his hand. "Well, I suppose it's up to our parents isn't it?"
Stiles laughed. "It's a nickname. Stilinski is my last name so I just…."
"Oh, I see. I'm Edgar. This is my wife, Mary."
His wife shook Stiles's hand. "Please excuse him."
"It's completely fine." Stiles grinned. "I love it, honestly."
"Goodness, the boy is a saint," Mary sighed.
"Or stupid," Edgar commented.
Stiles burst out laughing as Mary scowled and said, "Edgar!"
"Oh, man, I haven't laughed like this since Christmas." Stiles wiped his eyes, grinning. He'd gone home for Christmas break but Lydia had not. Instead, she and her mom had gone on a trip. Stiles had wondered if it was on purpose to avoid him and then immediately felt stupid for thinking it.
"So, your girl," Edgar said. "You gonna see her?"
Stiles hesitated and nodded. "Yeah. I am. We're both going home for the summer. We've talked a few times through the year. I mean, we used to be best friends. And then…"
"Do you regret it?" Edgar asked. Stiles bit his lower lip. No, he didn't. He'd never regret it. His year with Lydia Martin was the greatest thing to ever happen to him. "Of course you don't. Son, you have that look."
"Oh, no, here he goes," Mary sighed.
"What look?" Stiles asked.
"The look. The look that men get when they're met that girl. You know, the game changer."
Stiles gave a small chuckle and shook his head. "She's always been that girl. I fell in love with her when I was eight years old and it's done nothing but grow."
Edgar continued to ask questions and Stiles continued to answer. Mary joined in occasionally but Edgar was the main contributor. Then Edgar told Stiles about him and Mary. He told him all about how Mary had decided she was going to marry him but she was a few years younger and Edgar never considered her. When she got old enough it didn't take him long to change his mind. By the end of the four hour flight, Edgar wrote out their phone number and handed it to Stiles.
"I greatly enjoyed talking to you," he told Stiles. "If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to call me."
Stiles smiled as he took it. "I will."
"If you need advice," Edgar said, "just call."
"I will." Stiles put the number in his phone. "You're just a button away. Thank you." Stiles walked with them out the arrivals gate but stopped in his tracks when he saw a familiar group all holding a rather large sign that read Welcome home detective. His eyes landed on his dad first, beaming at him from behind the middle of the sign. A flash of movement made him look away and notice his best friend just before Scott tackled him. Stiles laughed and wrapped his arms around him. "Hey, Scottie! When did you get in?"
"Last night."
When they broke apart, Stiles grinned as he realized that Melissa was there as well, arm around his dad, and beside her was Isaac and beside him was Kira. Then, beside Kira, was Derek of all people. "Sour wolf!" Stiles said cheerfully. "They dragged you out of your cave."
Derek rolled his eyes. "We should send you on the next plane out."
"You would miss me way too much. Speaking of missing me," he grinned at Scott, "aren't you glad you're room is right next to mine?"
Last year, when John Stilinski and Melissa had moved in together, Stiles and Scott had really had it made. Especially because now when they came home they got family and each other all put into one. Isaac, of course, had a room too.
"Come on," Sheriff said, smiling at them. "Let's go home."
Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve
People are people,
And sometimes it doesn't work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out
Lydia switched her blinker on as she turned onto another street. This was it. She was coming home. Stiles was already home. How was she going to do this? She hadn't seen him since he'd gotten on the plane to go to school. Maryland. He was all the way in Maryland. She couldn't believe it when he'd told her. He'd left to give them distance but she wasn't sure she'd ever loved him more. Being away from him was supposed to make it go away, not make it worse. But here she was, driving home, still in love with her ex-boyfriend. Damn it.
She turned onto her street and felt a smile slide onto her face. Her mom was in the driveway waving and beside her, bouncing up and down, was Kira. Derek and Isaac were even there. Then she saw Scott and lastly she let herself see Stiles. He was leaning against his jeep parked on the curve, smiling lazily at her car. No matter how lazy his smile was, his eyes were flashing with all the excitement in the world. It made her heart ache.
Lydia pulled into the driveway and took one deep breath before getting out. "Hey!" Her mom pulled her into a hug. "Oh, you look wonderful!"
"Thanks Mom." She accidentally caught Stiles's eye over her shoulder. He looked away. When her mom released her, she worked her way through the group until she reached Stiles. They both stood awkwardly, looking at the grass or the house or even the sky, until they finally made eye contact.
The warmth in his eyes hit her like a brick, as if she'd forgotten what they were like. She felt for a moment as if she couldn't breathe. Years ago, she never would have thought that she would react this way to Stiles Stilinski. That one look at him would have her thinking about nights laying side by side in grass and laughing. Or that she would have to fight to stop her eyes from looking at his lips. Or that she would know and miss every part of him.
"Hey, Lyds. Welcome home…" He spread his arms and she only hesitated briefly before going into them. Hugging him felt as natural as it always had and she wondered how she had gone an entire school year without it.
"How are you?" she asked.
"I'm fine. How are you?"
"Good," she lied. I miss you she wanted to say. I've never stopped missing you, I never will stop missing you.
"Good." As they pulled apart his smile was strained. "It's good to see you again."
"You too," she said quietly.
"Why don't we go inside?" Her mom asked, swooping in to save the day.
Lunch went about as expected. It wasn't bad but she and Stiles would jump slightly if they brushed on accident and she caught him looking at her a few times, reminding her of the boy stared at her from across the lunch room. If only things had turned out as simple as that boy had imagined. Instead he'd grown up to tear it all down.
And I can't breathe without you
But I have to.
Breathe without you
But I have to.
Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.
Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.
People are people, and sometimes it doesn't work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.
Please let me know what you thought! Thanks guys! Next chapter will be up soon!