Not mine, don't own them, JE does. I am just having fun.
Stephanie was laid across the couch in Ranger's seventh floor apartment, watching him in the kitchen. She was trying to hide the grin from her lips, but was doing a horrible job.
Steph didn't get many of the Berg woman genes, but she had at least one of them. The one she had would be very helpful to Ranger right now, as he was struggling to keep his masculinity intact. She thought about offering him her help but she knew he would decline, and watching the mighty man in black having problems with something that could easily be done by almost any woman was quite exhilarating.
Steph snuggled deeper into the couch and watched Ranger with fascination. The determination in his face was extreme; he was totally focused on his mission. Steph wet her lips a little as she saw him flexing every one of the muscles in his body. Even if he was failing miserably at his current assignment, he looked damn hot doing it.
Ranger's usual blank face was starting to show the violence he was feeling towards his target. A man as macho as Ranger would not accept defeat, especially to an opponent that was so unworthy of victory. Stephanie could tell that he was trying to exercise all of the patience he had been taught in the service. He took another direction at the job and used all of his strength, thinking it would be his saving grace. He growled at his advisory as he was yet again bested.
It was beginning to be too much for Steph to take; her smile was threatening to become laughter. She was holding her breath to keep it in, because she knew Ranger would probably send her to a third world country if she dared laugh at him.
Ranger was seriously getting pissed off, and he damn near always had control over his emotions. His guts were in knots at what Steph must be thinking about him right now. She probably thought he was on steroids, that was why he had all of the muscles, but none of the strength to win the battle he was in. He buckled down again, and blocked out the pain in his hands. He may have lost a few of the battles, but damn it he was going to win the war. He tried and tried again to defeat his evil opponent but was thwarted at every turn. Things had gone from bad to worse, not only was he getting his ass kicked, Steph was now rolling on the floor laughing at him. He turned and gave her the glare that stopped his men dead in their tracks, and she kept right on laughing at him. "Oh, you think this is funny do you? Well why don't you come in here and see if you can do a better job? We will see how funny it is then."
Stephanie rolled onto her stomach and picked her shaking body off of the floor. Walked slowly into the kitchen and grabbed the pickle jar out of Ranger's hands. Steph turned the jar sideways so the label was facing the floor. Then she banged the side of the lid on the counter, turned the jar and banged the lid again. She repeated this three times, then set the pickle jar on the counter, twisted the lid off and grabbed a pickle out it, and turned to Ranger with a huge smile on her face.
Ranger stared at Steph and the pickle job in utter disbelief. Not only did he get bested by a pickle jar, his wife had just made him look like a pansy. He looked at Stephanie with dismay and embarrassment written all over his face, "Yeah well that only worked because I loosened it for you."
Steph stuck the pickles in her mouth and bit down, chewing every last bite of it before she answered him, "You keep telling yourself that tough guy and maybe you will convince yourself." She put the lid back on the pickle jar, placed it in the fridge, and sauntered back to her cozy spot on the couch.
690 words without the disclaimer.