"Do you think Santa Claus is a meta?"
Oliver looked up from his plate of scrambled eggs to look across the table at William who was happily eating a bowl of sugary cereal with one hand while studying the back of the cereal he was holding in the other.
"I dunno. I don't know all of the metas in the world. Actually, I really only know a few. What do you think?"
William shoved another big bite in his mouth and chewed for a moment, obviously thinking. "I think he has to be. I mean, otherwise, how would he get everything done in one night? I heard on TV that he has to visit over a billion kids in less than 24 hours."
Oliver bit back a smile and fixed his face in a contemplative frown. "Well, time zones probably help. He picks up an hour or two every time he crosses one, so it's probably closer to thirty-six hours."
William paused, the concept of gaining time by moving around still probably a confusing concept for him. "Yeah… but still the show I was watching said he'd have to visit, like, five thousand houses a second. That means he'd have to be, like, a bajillion times faster than The Flash."
Ah. The Flash. William's measuring stick for anything fast or cool.
Oliver put a hand to his forehead, pretending to scratch, as he tried not to laugh at the thought of Barry in a Santa suit complete with fake beard. He certainly had the jolly part down and could probably handle eating billions of cookies.
"If Santa is a meta, it would make him the very first," Oliver said.
"Oh, yeah!" William exclaimed. "Santa has been around for, like, a hundred years."
Oliver smiled. "Or maybe a little bit longer. Santa probably set the rules for being a meta. That's why he started that whole 'he knows if you've been bad or good' thing."
William nodded his headed, a motion so animated Oliver wasn't sure how he was still getting cereal into his mouth without missing or spilling. "Yeah, and then came the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy, who jipped me by the way. I only got a dollar for my last tooth!"
Oliver laughed. "Maybe the tooth fairy has fallen on hard times. Giving away money's not a job most people have. Where do you think she gets her money?"
"Maybe they all pool their money…" William wondered out loud. "Santa gets a cut to pay for toys. The Tooth Fairy gets actual money. The Easter Bunny buys eggs."
"Do you think Santa gets the biggest cut?" Oliver asked.
William's eyes lit up. "Of course, he was the first!"